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shining time station skip to main skip to sidebar saturday october 23 2010 loading complete so my first two days on the diet are complete they are known as loading days where i take the drops but stauff my face full of things like avocados which i love and nuts and dairy which i love and i actually had to force myself to eat that is a new thing for me i rarely have to force myself to eat hehehehe hence the reason why i am fat haha it did make me start to see just how psychological eating is which was interesting tomorrow i weigh in take measurements before pictures and begin the next phase of my scientific term used loosely experiment here goes nothing posted by kimber at 9 09 pm 2 comments friday october 22 2010 so i may officially be crazy results are pending i m going to do an experiment i know lots of people who have had great success on the hcg diet getting injections from their dr and following a strict diet protocol for up to six weeks all of them swear by it i thought at first it was a little crazy but i did some research i would definitely try it if it weren t 600 1500 real hcg in it s straight form has to be prescribed by a dr homeopathic hcg drops on the other hand other people i know in my family and out are going this route and the evidence for drops is also very compelling there is much evidence that sublingual drops work just as well as the injections it has its critics though it does sound hokey so i m going to try it and see what happens i ve got my drops alcohol free version my diet plan recipes and i m off to the drug store to get ketostix to test daily to see if i am truly burning fat or just losing water weight and muscle i have a spreadsheet all set up to chart how i feel physically and i plan to update here as well perhaps i am insane and i have bought myself a very expensive bottle of water and starvation or maybe the studies are right and the homeopathic hcg drops are as effective as the injections wish me well posted by kimber at 4 05 pm 0 comments sunday september 12 2010 my sister in law recently posted a blog entry about the mtv show if you really knew me and then continues on to post unknown facts about herself i thought it was good and insightful i am often reluctant to share the personal and emotional details of myself or my life on my blog because i m not ready to be quite so personal on the very public internet but i figure why not so i ll add my if you really knew me segment to my blog as well even though it makes me nervous if you really knew me you d know that i am torn between a place i yearn for and people i yearn for my family is here in az and i yearn for my family and friends here but i yearn also for new york i wish i could reconcile the two and take all the people i love to ny with me and never look back and live the rest of our life there not gonna happen when we lived in new york i really felt like i finally fit in and belonged somewhere if you really knew me you d know that while right now i am a reserved and private and instrospective person i used to be an extrovert who wasn t shy and wasn t afraid of anything a very bad experience with a stalker and i underwent a massive change i sometimes wish the the extrovert was still around but i haven t seen her for a while i m still learning to accept myself for who i am and who i want to be and not focus on who i used to be and am not anymore if you really knew me you d know that i get overly suspicious and almost paranoid of people who stare at me or my children for too long sounds weird i know it stems from the paragraph above so just go with it if you really knew me you d know i am mortified by glenn beck if you really knew me you d know that sometimes i actually feel pretty and like the way i look until i see a picture that someone has tagged of me me on facebook and i jump right back into the intense emotional roller coaster that is trying to lose weight and trying to love the way i look in spite of everything otherwise i would never get the courage to leave the house some days i don t if you really knew me you d know that my husband gets the credit for being the smarty pants and the brains in our family however i am smart too and can hold my own in any intellectual debate with my husband or anyone else any day i m just reserved and don t feel the need to show it off if you really knew me you d know that i have a very kind heart and wouldn t hurt anyone on purpose and i have an intense love for people all kinds i love to be around people even if i m not the one talking i just love to be in the middle of a big crowd and just be quiet one of the reasons why i was so in love with new york the diversity i love diversity it s one of the most beautiful things about people and the rest of god s creations i think i have been blessed with a special gift to appreciate and see it for which i am very grateful if you really knew me you d know that i talk to myself out loud and call myself johnson before i got married i called myself jamesey if you really knew me you d know i struggle not to be a music snob if you really knew me you d know that i get incensed at conservative fanatics and i despise conservative based political agenda pushing email forwards and no matter who they are from they will not be opened and will immediately be deleted however i am not likely to ever get very deep into a political discussion in person to discuss my feelings if you really knew me you d know that i love to have friends i need them and i love to laugh but i struggle to start conversations for fear that someone might find me boring if you really knew me you d know that i can t get enough of 9 11 documentaries if you really knew me you d know that i believe in ghosts and grew up in a haunted house and i am not afraid of the dark or ghosts it s the people living and what they do to each other who scare the crap out of me if you really knew me you d know that i am fiercely stubborn and independent and will stand up against injustice and i am very strong and at the same time can get my feelings hurt very easily but i am also quick to forgive and move on if you really knew me you d know that i have fought several times a fierce and nearly debilitating battle with ocd and i could actually be on one of those ocd documentary shows on tv if you knew the inner workings of my ocd you d likely be shocked but you d also know that i am an ocd success story and i am strong and know that i can do anything now because of it i know i can overcome anything now even if it takes a while if you really knew me you d know that i worry that i am too selfish too offensive or too fat or too awkward if you really knew me you d know that i really do believe i have the most amazing husband in the world and i really do know how lucky and blessed i am even though he annoys me sometimes if you really knew me you d know that my favorite smells are rain on hot dirt comet bathroom cleanser and laundry detergent if you really knew me you d know i m actually a very funny person when i m really comfortable where i am and i can actually be pretty irreverant i have to keep it in check if you really knew me you d know i don t want my husband to buy me flowers i d rather he just go on a walk with me instead if you really knew me you d know i have an intense fear of my teeth falling out if you really knew me you d know that i am terrified of public speaking because it draws attention to me but i have no fears of singing in public because it is one of the things i am very confident about if you really knew me you d know that i struggle to share my feelings through talking and speaking i try and i do it but it takes a while and it s difficult i m much better sharing them through writing if you really knew me you d know that i almost can t handle it when someone is mad at me and i will lose several night s sleep over it it s the worst feeling in the world right up there with being ignored if you really knew me you d know it takes quite a while to really know me but it s worth it posted by kimber at 1 05 pm 7 comments saturday august 7 2010 my gorgeous kids my sweetheart and dad to my beautiful kids posted by kimber at 10 10 pm 3 comments friday july 30 2010 loving the rain after teasing us for weeks it finally poured down rain at our house yay and it rained for a while double yay we immediately went outside to play in the rain and the boys loved it and i loved watching them have so much fun it brought back some really wonderful childhood memories for me i grew up in st johns where we had some really fantastic rain storms my mom used to load my sister and i up into the car and we would go drive somewhere and just watch it rain and rain st johns really was a beautiful little town adn we would find somewhere green to sit and watch it rain we had the best talks then sometimes we just sat in our drive way when i was 8 or 9 i went up to rachel and porter wilhelm s cabin with their family that is such a wonderful memory for me their cabin had a tin roof and when it would rain we would go up to the loft and listen to the rain come down on the tin roof and it was such an amazing sound and smell i love the smell of rain on dust my absolute favorite and i cannever get enough of the sound of the crash of thunder and the excitement of lightening my sweet thomas he never ceases to melt my heart he is my treasure my fun james the joy he finds in life is so infectious along with his dad he is my rock my boys how i adore them i had the best grandparents growing up and i adored them as my favorite people in the whole world they would come and visit in the summer and i looked forward to it all year because they always stayed a long time before my grandpa got deep into alzheimers we used to go for long walks together he didn t say much but i loved being with him i used to be terrified of storms truely terrified and i drove my mother crazy everytime it rained one summer night when my grandparents were visiting us it started to pour down a major monsoon storm and i was freaking out no one could ever calm me down when i freaked out during the storms except grandpa he grabbed two chairs and put them out on the front porch and we sat out on the porch together and he told me how much he loved storms and he explained to me how the storms work and what lightening and thunder really are and we went through my rock collection and he explained to me how rocks are made and that i wouldn t have my beautiful rocks if it weren t for storms like this one we sat there for a long time talking and watching the rain i ve never been afraid of it since that night i now share his deep love for crazy rain storms such a favorite thing posted by kimber at 9 45 am 1 comments saturday july 24 2010 a summer of family pictures in june we did pictures with dad and that side of my family and then we did pictures with the johnsons and today we did pictures with my mom i love her and her silver hair and i love documenting life and the people we care about my pretty mom i had to put this one on here because damian makes me laugh mom and her boys me kelli kelli mom and me posted by kimber at 8 10 pm 2 comments older posts home my new photography blog music i read nienie me n my love james harris thomas maxwell laela yeteive my favorite picture of jeff you re my favorite some of my favorite books the color of water a black man s tribute to his white mother the shadow of the wind the historian joseph smith a rough stone rolling the thirteenth tale brain lock trusting jesus rebecca to kill a mockingbird the proper care and feeding of husbands the hiding place family allie s adventures ashley s scrapper s block carrie and jared cosseboom clan hilarious happenings katy s daisy life kelli kevin lucy jerry and maddie moo mom shelly steph and the boyz the juice box trevor and taytum favorite blogs adam and xan dibble brooke stott jenkins bruce s photo booth bryce fam cjane cluff family design mom fabric bliss hansen fam jana rob and parker jeremy and heather gray john ron and holli jo john ron s other blog jon and sarah julie merrell kameron kristi and robert kristy lara leroy family linda and woody luke and bonnie mamie mary and tanner postert meggie poo chlarson chronicles melanie beth mike and amy mindy nancy s happy family nicole nicole and shane nienie prince tribe smith family taylor and anna the blaylocks the browers the elsons the princess and pete tiffany and paul design sites i love house of turquoise coco kelley black white bliss the peak of chic absolutely beautiful things baby memories i m a snap dragon i am a snapdragon what flower are you other links bonnie and blithe coupon sense dempsey burdick memorial foundation find 815 kb productions mci blog no more fat days super exclusive book nook susan g komen for the cure wiretap blog archive blog archive october 2 september 1 august 1 july 5 june 15 may 2 march 1 february 5 january 2 december 1 november 1 october 3 september 4 august 2 july 5 june 1 may 2 march 4 february 4 january 2 december 1 november 1 october 3 september 6 august 1 july 4 june 5 may 6 april 5 march 9 february 8 january 5 december 4 november 2 october 2 september 7 august 3 july 2 june 2