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Text of the page (random words):
ould hit me with the black rat tail comb working overtime trying to undo a stubborn knot in her hair but she didn t hear instead she sent me to the bathroom for the regular comb so she could scratch the itchy dandruffy parts when the rat tail s battle with the knot was over suddenly a car pulled up fast to the house screeching to a halt uncle fitzroy bolted from the bedroom shouting who the rass is that making all this noise he rushed passed us just as aunt eileen s oh lord jesus fitz blurted out his chups was the last thing she heard before all the commotion started outside uncle fitz was quarrelling with a man the one who pulled up in the screeching car about it being a good saturday morning and what business he have disturbing the peace of good people the man who was sitting in his car when uncle fitz came out was coming out of his car now a fancy white bmw that said look at me i m a vip he was a butter skinned man about uncle fitz s age i guess and kinda slim by that i mean all of him was slim except for his gut you could tell in his younger days before he had wife and children to think about he probably had washboard abs but now those abs were nowhere to be seen maybe his wife s cooking run them away anyway mr butterskin with a gut was shorter than uncle fitz who was a strapping 6 3 himself and probably never smelled the air from 6 a day in his life but their height difference didn t subdue him at all he was hot and he bolted out of his car and up to the gate separating him and uncle fitzroy in a temper and oh the cussing he tell uncle fitz that he s no fool and he warning him for the first and last time or else he tell uncle fitz that he s nothing but a black dutty gutter water piece ah shit that feel he in something because a woman notice him he tell uncle fitz that he uncle fitz don t know who he mr butters is and that better man than him uncle fitz disappear for less eh eh well if he thought the argument was going to be one sided he lie uncle fitzroy is a nice enough man but he has a temper on him and if its one thing uncle fitz hate is for people to try to make him feel small ah big man me be is always what he says whenever he feels his manhood threatened so today on this good saturday morning when decent people trying to enjoy a little peace and time off work this hoity toighty money man coming down here to disrupt that peace wasn t well received and on top of that he trying to make uncle fitz feel like he beneath him because of where he come from and how black he is well is then uncle fitz get on his back foot uncle fitz tell him all about his fucking rasshole uncle fitz ask him if he uncle fitz is so important that his little red scunt had to leave clean outta crosbies to come and see him uncle fitz tell him if his wife can t get satisfaction from her husband and she get it from somewhere else he should just be grateful she getting it and decent enough to keep it to herself well is then butters get nasty hot and his face turn redder than a coca cola bottle cap he tell uncle fitz he have something for him uncle fitz grab the metal gate and in one swing drag it across the rail so hard it hit the end with a loud clang and vibrated for a full minute before settling uncle fitz say come nuh come nuh eef yuh feel yuh bad jus come nuh mek arwe see which man ah di real bad john the man went to the trunk of his car and emerged with a piece of wooden plank about 3 long smart move considering the height weight and strength differential between them uncle fitz was never one to back away from a fight and honour and pride insisted that he be a man now he continued to taunt the man telling him to come if he feel he bad and telling him that s why his woman tekking another man because the one she have at home is nothing but a punk well by this time aunt eileen come outside to see what the commotion was all about shame is what really motivated her because she knew the longer the men were out there carrying on the more sister millicent in the adjacent house would have to gossip to the new bethel women s league and the rest of the village about sis millicent always pretended to be concerned and want to help but all she ever want is story to carry news on people plenty times aunt eileen pray to the peach cobbler jesus asking him to move the nuff and edge up millicent far from her or failing that cleanse her of her dangerous and badminded ways so good god fearing people can live in peace to love and serve the lord well jesus did neither and just as aunt eileen set foot off the veranda and onto the driveway out came sis millicent in her pink and blue house duster and red bata slippers her pink sponge curlers still in her hair she was just peering at first but when she saw aunt eileen she said mawnin sis ei all is well aunt eileen breathed a shit under her breath and gave a half baked smile and waved her off she ran up to uncle fitz and grabbed his arm telling him to come inside and leave the crazy man to himself she tell him god don t like ugly and if he don t see the man have a weapon she pleaded with him to leave the matter alone uncle fitz pushed her off him and grabbed the lee wind paints bucket by the flowers garden that he sometimes uses as a stool when he and his friends play dominoes at night the bucket had dirt and weeds in it from the weeding aunt eileen and i did yesterday but uncle fitz was too hot to notice as little man with the red face and cheating wife rushed up to him emboldened by the presumed advantage his stick gave him uncle fitz hauled back his bucketed hand and pelt it hard on the right side of little man s head the man staggered back a few steps blinking his astonishment and losing his nerve but tightening his grip on the stick he shouted now about assault and battery and adultery and police aunt eileen band she belly with her free hand and started bawling murda murda he go kill me man lawd poopa jesus help me meanwhile uncle fitz shouting that any police that come to his yard going to see what they get and he draw back and pelt another bucket blow and hit the left side of little man s head covered in dirt and weeds and realizing that no amount of stick could even out this fight the vip was backing up now still cussing uncle fitz and telling him he wutless and a vagabond and uncle fitz seeing that there s no need to continue a physical fight but not wanting to back down allowed aunt eileen to pull him back a step or two while he shouted to the man something about his limp dick and telling him that s why his wife have to tek a pitch black man from the ghetto because ah dem know how fu breed good and he bet none of little man s children belong to him by now mr walter came from up the road sis millicent had gone to get him and jabo and mozi two youths playing on the basketball court on the corner came and were begging the man in the white car to calm down and let sleeping dogs lie and telling uncle fitz to jus cool nuh man the man kept on about the injustice he was subjected to uncle fitz retorted with a shameful breed yuh woman an lef big man alone aunt eileen still begged poopa jesus to help and the scene continued to attract nosey onlookers who were too greedy for melee to pretend to be just passing by eventually mr walter probably the oldest and most respected man in the village managed to get little man into his car and calm enough to talk man to man so he could explain what happened we tried to get uncle fitz back in the house but couldn t he said it was his damn house and his land and his blasted driveway and his yard and nobody go run him from his property and so long as mr red face was still out there he wasn t moving but he was a little calmer now and aunt eileen made me get him a glass of cold tamarind juice from the fridge to quench him sis millicent meanwhile was asking if there is anything she can do uncle fitz shot her a look as if to say yuh can tek yuh dangerous backside back inside yuh house is what yuh can do but sis millicent acted like she didn t notice mr walter finished talking to the man who with wounded pride and head drove off shouting threats of still going to the police mr walter chuckled as he sped off when the car was out of sight mr walter s chuckle became a full force laugh that pulled us all away from our respective thoughts into a state of bewilderment uncle fitzroy asked the old man what was so funny and mr walter doubled over in uproarious laughter finally with tears in his eyes he asked uncle fitz what relationship he had with that man s wife uncle fitz much calmer than before now swore he had no relationship with any wife but his own and while he knew the man who didn t some people were just known by everyone on the island whether they knew them personally or not he never had any business or pleasure with his wife is the man uncle fitz continued that pass his damn place and come and interfere with him mr walter listened shaking his head yes still smiling after a space he said well fitz my boy come mek we down to charlie s and i buy you a rum nuh worry bout the man and police me done mek he know is he at fault is the wrong house he stop at anyway cause the man his wife dealing with right there under me roof is me son fitzmore he want not you in fact she just not too long left me yard to go home may 2017 share this share on x opens in new window x share on facebook opens in new window facebook email a link to a friend opens in new window email like loading i used to think on april 26 2017 by simplynatural1 in love live 7 comments i used to think a of of things that now seem absurd to me one of those things was actually an unconscious thought a thought i didn t realise i had until the mirror of introspection was angled just right for me to see myself in it and when i did i saw that i thought it ok to suppress me when i say suppress i mean it in every sense of the word to keep in or repress to put an end to the activities of to do away with every sense of the word i not only thought it was ok to suppress me i consciously and unconsciously engaged in self suppression now you might be wondering how on earth could someone suppress their own self doesn t the self just be i would argue that it doesn t the self tries to just be and if left alone it does a masterful job of it but it is possible and a lot easier than one may realise for the self to be guided or misguided rather scolded and forced to be something someone else like in my case i was raised to be seen and not heard matter of fact my grandmother would have me recite that before we left the house for an outing children should be seen and not heard of course she wasn t trying to suppress my self not consciously anyway she wanted to ensure that her grandchild would be well behaved in front of other people and so she did with me what in all probability was done with her but imagine the message the self receives when the mouth says you should be seen and not heard especially the child self that has neither filter nor experienced reasoning to know what should be taken seriously and what should be ignored my child self got the message that me my ideas and thoughts and just anything within me that i might think to share should be quiet silenced i got the message that it wasn t ok to just talk that the sound of my own voice even was only acceptable in soft tones to this day i usually speak with a low tone and almost always hear huh what did you say can you speak up please i believe that s in part due to the self suppression that started in childhood and grew unchecked into adulthood and when i say it grew i don t mean in just the don t speak manifestation it grew a sense of boundless freedom to waft into every other area of my me ness and settled in until self suppression was everywhere i suppressed my creativity i suppressed my interests i suppressed ultimately the awareness of my me so that when needing to make a decision that presented itself as what do you think or what do you want the most honest answer i could give was i don t know me totally hidden and shadowed to the point where i was merely a mirror for others around me who hadn t engaged in similar self suppression or at least not to the extent i had and the major take away of this for me has been the innerstanding that suppression births two people every time suppression s first born is liar and her sibling is thief and once born they become your closest companions now i m not saying you will outright lie to your friends or steal from your family with suppression ruling your head but you will in the process of suppressing lie to you first about who you are and why you are and then inevitably your suppressed liar self will steal the joy blessing unique only you could bring this piece of the puzzle ness from your life and the lives you ve been divinely positioned to touch imagine folks being in your life 10 20 30 years knowing only the suppressed you and needing yearning consciously or unconsciously for something a word a touch a kick in the ass any number of somethings that only totally free to be you could give and just existing stuck or stagnant in some small or not small way because you haven t shown up yet what a theft what a loss now i could go on for a minute and a mile on the impact this has had on my life and how long it took for me to see the destruction of self suppression and do something about it but i m more inspired today to wiggle my toes in that soft fluffy space of me untethered the unhinging was a process is a process that is as painful as it is exhilarating and every encounter of confirmation every reminder of its ultimate blessing swells my gratitude to the inner ones guiding my becoming so if you do nothing more in life as much as possible as often as you can be you authentically so share this share on x opens in new window x share on facebook opens in new window facebook email a link to a friend opens in new window email like loading bring me the sunset in a cup on march 21 2017 march 21 2017 by simplynatural1 in poetry leave a comment bring me the sunset in a cup fill it just to the brim blow a mild breeze from soft lips to stir the close of day within hold it to me don t let me take it yet hold it just far enough to ache my melancholy and close enough my swelling peace to set let my fingers circle the cup s zero as sunset seeps through my stance and shifts grows and ignores the confines of my presumptuous arrogance to think i actually thought me capable of stuffing sunset in a space of corralling of confining of controlling the uncontrollable in my lame embrace but one can dream can she not and if dreaming why not dream grand create carve mold and colour a world that gifts sunsets in one s hands march 2017 share this share on x opens in new window x share on facebook opens in new window facebook email a link to a friend opens in new window email like loading woman love on march 8 2017 may 19 2017 by simplynatural1 in poetry 2 comments wom...