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Text of the page (random words):
blogger won t let me leave this blank skip to main skip to sidebar blogger won t let me leave this blank monday february 23 2026 well hello there let s talk about it let s talk about how my eyes are leaking and my mouth won t stop streaming and my head won t stop steaming let s talk about losing everyone because my head fell in the dark and i don t know where my heart went let s talk about it how i don t know know difference arpart from what love is and what s not let s talk about it because my brain doesn t work anymore because someone took it well before you wanted to know me nobody wants to know me leave me alone but let s talk about it jesus let us talk about it i m done i m tired i m tired and i can t breath and every part of my body is starting to seize but you just can t understand it wanna be underground about it i can understand it because most people just can t handle it i m tired so lets just talk about it stop being so underhanded because i can see right through it i wanna use the word flabbergasted let s talk about it be in pain every day and try to have a smile on your face everday you want me to amplify the thoughts on my mind it will come clear in a sirin that you weren t prepared for i will come and i will lead you right into your demise would you want to talk about it in the sea i know i bleed from the nose and the ears and the head and my legs are always bruised but i don t know what to tell you let us get archaic and i can take back all of my rights and everything i had so someone could have castrated me before it was too late maybe if i didn t have any hormones i wouldn t have lost my breathe maybe i could sing how i used to maybe i d have the soul the i used to at least my hands came back so i can cook and clean like i used to posted by jordan gonzales at 10 05 pm no comments wednesday april 3 2013 i would like to write a little about how society is right now during my youth how things are creeping up to utterly pathetic to what seems real quick in my life so far maybe i m writing this for my future children though i feel i d have better luck with a listener writing this for those who have long passed before me i ll try to describe this life in the best words possible containing no evidential pictures i am a 21 year old girl who graduated high school in the year 2010 i am writing this three years after only having gone to college for a semester of college where i failed miserably i am including this information to show i do not present myself any higher then what and who is around me have i come to this panicking realization and am now striving to at least live my life differently in hopes to save myself from making generations of brainless anti social materialistic mindless unaware self absorbed little mes of course if i post this that i m writing for people to see i have no fear for my generation reading this or their opinions it s the generations above me that i m worried about noticing all of my grammatical errors and punctuation my lack of knowledge outside of what i read and see on the internet most of which is from people i know or distant friends or acquaintances of people i know one thing to start all of this off with is how much people depend on spellcheck for any piece of writing whoever decided it was a good idea to include spellcheck in everything must not have considered what handicap it would cause they didn t have spell check in anything but the computer programs we used in school when i was growing up at least not that i can remember i am already feeling i should revise this little tid bit of a story after i ve gone back to school and taken some writing classes as i have said i haven t been to school in a while haven t been learning much haven t been refining skills much either i must say i thought myself a pretty good little writer in high school i ve already forgotten how to properly format my writing for the most part so i m not even going to pretend it s almost as if spell check is where it all began i have in fact used spellcheck a couple of times already it s telling me i m spelling spellcheck wrong maybe i need to write it spell check is it a one word title for a program we use hell if i know onto another subject i am prefacing this next subject of cell phones with my phone spell checks along with everyone else s there was a small period of time where there were websites dedicated to the funny mishaps that became of spell checking phones they were funny i m starting to think i should save this writing for when i need a great idea for a long ass report for when i go back to school where i can cite quotes and links to back my shit up that s another thing people seem to swear like sailors in this bunch then again i gained a potty mouth growing up with my mom i would insert a haha write there and i almost did before remembering i was trying to write this as a report i did just notice i spelled write where i should have written right i am panicking i can t spell properly anymore i am hahahaing again i have just become extremely overwhelmed with this report and i m considering breaking this up into a daily weekly journal of sorts oh that would be a blog which is what i m writing this on now maybe i should post this as is now and wait for respondents in order to continue why should i write this for current viewers i ll continue i m writing this for my future kid s i feel bad for my kids because i m not sure how i will handle my beliefs in the use of our technology in weight of how society will be then my kid will be considered that outcast weirdo who can t follow their friends on instagram and twitter because they don t have their own smartphone at the age of 7 i can do this i can raise my child to believe i love them and these things don t matter without him her resenting me horribly for not allowing them to keep up in the latest trends on the internet i wish i believed myself i wish my kid would go to school and learn cursive in elementary learn to write reports with actual books for their researching growing up i didn t have a cell phone until i could afford my own when i went out and got a job i didn t have a car let alone an insured one until i could afford that as well one thing i appreciate that my dad did was make me work for the stupid stuff i don t need no i don t need a car but my life would be a lot more stressful without one or would it i wouldn t have the stress of keeping the registration updated and paying for insurance along with the surprise failure of parts and oil changes taking the bus sounds a lot nicer except in the winter like i said i took the bus throughout the majority of high school i realize now that i paid for my car insurance and cell phone with social security checks i got from my dad i still didn t earn these things till i was 18 that is most of my friends in high school had all of these things none of which they paid for most of my friends didn t have jobs until they were probably 20 i like the idea my kid won t have a cell phone until they can pay for it themselves but i feel that ideas like this will leave me to be resented i am going to calm down and break these posts up into sections we ll go onto the subject of facebook next shall we hopefully they will become less scattered as i write them jordan posted by jordan gonzales at 4 57 pm no comments sunday may 29 2011 posted by jordan gonzales at 9 08 pm no comments thursday november 4 2010 11 03 2010 the night my heart grew back this is the night i forgive you you find out what forgiveness is when your heart is no longer sore to the things you ve been holding on to you don t let go your skin just grows i have forgiven you when you can see it in my eyes and i can feel it in my heart when the tears i ve been losing are no longer sad it s all over he tells me your heart can t hurt over this anymore this is over and you will cry no more he says i know this is the truth because my heart beats and it isn t beating on it s own i give you grace he says now tell him that you love him posted by jordan gonzales at 12 18 pm 3 comments saturday october 16 2010 my heart is sore i have made it so you can t see me anymore and when my ghosts come and they ask of him i will tell them that they can t have him i will tell them that they must pass me before they can hurt his heart i will be sure this doesn t happen this passing that is my ghosts cannot have you and i will only sleep where it is raining my heart doesn t beat on it s own and for this i will never be rid of theses aches i will not be rid of this hurt so kill me and will i weep where it is reigning well you can t see me anymore so why am i here i am weak and let my heart s beats cover me till i am no longer i hope for the day this is no longer posted by jordan gonzales at 12 38 am no comments sunday august 15 2010 so you say you want a war i need to be rid of this this that is twirling at the stem of my brain this that sucks my consistency and quiets my screaming soul so that you can t hear me this isn t a bird and this isn t love this is anything but and nowhere in between this is so far from what i ever wanted to become i need to be rid of this that is twisting my stomach and wringing my heart out of any chance of a drop i may remember you i need to be rid of this before my heart is all tired before i forget what your laugh sounds like or what your face looks like i need to be rid of this that is overtaking my thoughts and my steps this that feels like i have taken more then i could ever imagine this that feels stronger then i ever could have feared this which is making me weak i need to be rid of this like wet hot spew like the thick black tar i could only ever dream about so i can keep pulling and pulling until i can no longer breath i need to be rid of this coming like those darks in my dreams that rip at my skin for knowing what s good for me this that is keeping my head violent and scared this that rips at my thoughts and flips my speak to hurt you my breathing is slowing and hurting so there is a war on my heart that i didn t want but i asked for so this war is only making me stronger as your ruining my lungs as my hands go this that is ripping at my heart like the back of my hands that are bruising as soon as the anxiety and heavy breathing starts my first manic i ve lost control this that is bruising my heart and my head like my knees and my eardrums like the smallest sign of being a klutz is the first sign to cover me this is the worst set of thorns you could give me this is the cancer of oil you could soak me in this is your plague and your war and it is a disgrace this is what belittles all you are and takes away your man manipulation and mind pricks and tricks only go so far when i listen to how much you hate me the more i can see this the more i can breath you will hate me to the point of being free you can take your blows at me and mix them with your own self loathing and pathetic affairs at the table you invite my blood to with your rank cattle but i am still fresh and my skin is still tight around my body my heart is pumping as fast as the nervous girl i have always been my nerves will continue to jump and not for your fucking demons that have been laughing since i was dreaming and stumbling with my big head those that threaten my family those that drown my bull and played my bird s heart before i was born you can take them because i would trade them for anything my real love can throw at me this is me telling you that you can t have me nor my world s dancing fingers or my skies pumping lungs you can t have my voice and you can t have my legs you who has made the mistake to show me what hate was can take it back you who has crossed lines even my father s soaked tricked organs couldn t have thought of you the fool who made that sad mistake take your hand and cover my eyes dance on my nerves and pull on the threads that hold me together it will do nothing you the fuck who forgot that i found love before you you who thought you could take my heart and keep my mind keep this painful breathing and burning selfish hunger because i never wanted it to begin with i have to be rid of this before i forget who i am will you pray for me posted by jordan gonzales at 5 55 pm no comments saturday july 24 2010 self portrait of sorts unfinished posted by jordan gonzales at 12 07 am 1 comment older posts home subscribe to posts atom florence my blog list everyday adventures n such by agoldring ver el faasle 1985 película ver película completa 5 years ago alex pardee original eye kill you painting now on ebay 10 years ago in the sun question 13 years ago randrew i remembered i had a blog 16 years ago bard s thoughts my beard is no longer 16 years ago dani s blog again heya 16 years ago the mantra of devi mnemosyne illiterate youth wilson family blog blog archive 2026 1 february 1 well hello there let s talk about it let s talk 2013 1 april 1 2011 1 may 1 2010 21 november 1 october 1 august 1 july 3 june 4 may 1 april 7 january 3 2009 72 december 1 november 1 october 1 september 10 august 6 july 4 june 10 may 6 april 8 march 21 february 2 january 2 2008 32 december 15 november 12 september 5