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nderstood her and made her smile at last what a man posted in conversations movies leave a comment happiness is a state of mind january 15 2010 happiness is a state of mind so i have to have a plan to make life much easier than it is now as mr burke at love happens movie said life gives you lemons and when that happen you have two options you can make lemonade or sour look so under the conditions that i face nowadays the un useful empty unbalanced sucked life i live since this golden circle piece of metal wrapped my finger i became so much nervous bored saddy and quiet in a very melancholic way that s because i left my job my one and only way to earn money dignity and to feel respected and self confident i left it to become a house wife cause my fiance wanted that and believe it or not that s his only wish from life huh in his standards being a house wife is the perfect way of living for a woman well now i m nothing but broke and empty because i fulfilled his wish screw me i feel like i m losing my spirit my kefi as the greek people say i feel like i m walking on the runway and suddenly one of my high heels broke and i have two options stand up quickly and smartly without being noticed by anyone pretending that i m okay and continue walking with a face head high or every one would laugh at me and i will become the most stupid dumbest person ever i will become the clown of the national circus in my inner i don t want to be a house wife some person eating sleeping snoring without getting paid the visible money these pieces that make life worth living hey stop stop it i know what you re thinking now you re thinking that i m selfish and i don t understand the meaning of taking care of a husband and a baby comes later i do appreciate the married life and the whole meaning of giving giving giving thing but i m talking about my future my arranged plans my twenty four years of learning and studying to become a person that matters can t blow that away we must take under consideration that the success at work and social life leads to the success at home it just need a grain of luck and a grain of patience and it would be perfect hmm well not that perfect i mean smart enough to deal with the both sides of life otherwise women we will live in hell about myself i will burn slowly if i continue moaning between me and myself if i continue mumbling the two lines repeatedly and desperatly everyday i don t belong to this life i miss participating to the world but no i have a faith that i m not one of these actors in lost series i will make a new fully hard plan and bear the consequences i will do something will change the world for the better i will do something makes me feel happy because making lemonade will always be my choice posted in article ideas 4 comments all about you december 24 2009 أحب عينيك اللتين تلونا بلون حبة اللوز أحبهما وأحب طلتهما على وجهي وأعشق نعم أعشق طرفة جفناك عندما تطرفا طرفتهما البطيئة ويسحرني ثغرك عندما يمتلك إحساسي ويذوب ويصبح جزء مني و من وجداني وتأخذني أناملك إلى آخر الكون ويذهب عقلي و يتوه وينسى عقارب ساعة الزمان وكأن هذه الأنامل تحمل أفيون تحمل أخطر أفيون يخدر كل تفكيري ويحملني إلى السماء أرقص و ألهو مع النجوم ويعذبني صوتك في الليل عندما تهمس وكأنك تهمس لتقتلني بنوبة قلبية ويأرقني ويزيد من أرقي عندما يهمك أمرا غيري أو يشتت عقلك شيئا آخرا غير مداعبتي ويضحكني عدم مبالاتك عندما نقوم سويا بخوض موقفا خطيرا ويجملني و يكملني وجودك بجانبي ويثيرغيرة الآخرين عندما دوما تعانقني وتذهب بشتات عقلي عندما تغضب تعند تمل تكل تنقد تتنهد ألما تصرخ تفصح شيئا من الماضي ويثيرني ويجذبني عطرك فإن هذه الزجاجة حتما تعرف جيدا كيف تمتزج مع عنقك صدرك يدك ملابسك لتيقظ في شغفي ورغبتي في إفتعال المواقف لأجد فرصة أستطيع فيها ملامستك ويفزعني عندما تعقد حاجبيك وتباعد بين فكيك ويعلو و يهبط لسانك متمتما كلمات لا أفهمها ويسكرني ويرنحني ملامستك لشعري الذي يمتد إلى أسفل ظهري وعندما تباعد بين خصلاته لتلمس عنقي أو تمتد أكثر لتلامس أذني أكون أنا تجرعت من الخمر ما يجعلني لا أشعر بأي مفصل من مفاصل عظامي ويعتصر قلبي حزنا و ألما عندما تمسك بين أصابعك لفافة التبغ و تشعلها و كأنك تشعل في قلبي أنا النيران بدلا منها وأختنق و لا أستطيع التنفس كلما أدرك أن مع كل شهيق لدخانها تقترب أنت يوما من نهايتك فما حالي عندما تبعدك عني هذه اللفافة فلتقترب نهايتي أنا قبل أن يأتي يوما لا أشعر بذراعيك يطوقوا جسدي أحبك أحبك أحبك ولا أحتمل أي نوع من أنواع الفراق فقد فارقتني السعادة منذ أمد بعيد وفارقني أعز صديق وفارقني القريب فلن أسمح أبدا للدنيا أن تفرق بيني و بين حبيب يسعدني ويصاحبني ويربت على كتفي ويكون لي أقرب قريب أحبك سأظل أرددها مع كل دقة من قلبي مع كل شهيقا و زفيرا وكل طرفة من عيني وحتى في أحلامي أحبك و سأظل أكتب و أروي القصص عنا أحبك و أشكر عيناك التي تتبعتني فسأحبها دوما فقد قدمت لها كل قرابيني posted in letters love messages promises 3 comments letter without a reply october 6 2009 dear i do not know where to start or what are the proper words i should say for i can write them down without mistakes i just wanted to tell you that i m so obsessed with fairytales i enjoy the moments that deport me from reality and head me back to the romanticism the moments that open the gate for the flowing river with its rare flowers on each side that flows from my mind to embrace my soul with their ecstasy with their soft incense i could be haunted with things people say they re old fashion or they became some kind of antique i could taste the beauteousness in the simple figures that leads me to gasp the air that full my lungs to the fullest then breathe it out in sobs and sighs wondering how could i translate what i saw in letters then sentences or into some poetic lines so i scratch my brain and stay for long in solitude and silence suffering from a burning mind and tied tongue as i m not educated the much that let me inform the paper of the words that i should write for all i have is a feeling winnowing by the winds of the melancholic reality my eyes plays a distinct role in this drama the eyes that you praise them as much as you praise a passionate kiss from a virgin lass they constantly need to hug the landscapes with their sight to see the fields with green to see the hills and the slopes surrounded with flowers pink and red and white but they constantly need to be kissed to sleep as well for none of what i told you they ever seen it is only anguish that aches their lids and imprison each one away from the other i may refer this to my name as i always observe that the most beautiful colour of iris is the bluish purple the colour of saddening forgive my blueness i envy your optimistic way of thinking your practical mind but i do not know why for a moment i thought you will be the immortal messenger of the letters that i have always waited for my inspiration and my feelings both were anxious for hearing from you your messages were intensely desirable were the spark that lighted my mind to imagine a fairytale would last forever your eyes and their undefined colour were and still a mystery i crave to unfold and it took me long time to discover could your smile relate to those eyes could this smile with its pure serene relate to those mystic caves but the answer is still some dots and some exclamation marks though in my fantasy i know you well in reality you re still unknown yours sp r t i wished to get a reply i wished to get a single response to my feelings my yearning my letters a single sign to keep on dreaming of fairytales to keep on seeing myself with my beloved as a story among the books of tales wished to stand more than this and face off the consequences of being alone but i gave up my love my soulmate my fantasy adieu posted in letters love messages thoughts 12 comments insanity september 28 2009 monday 28 sep 2009 4 15 am i feel so much alone i want to cry i feel naked feel as if monsters kidnapped mostly of my organs i barely breathe barely feel warmness i m telling so after i had switched off the light of my room went to bed at 4 15 am then went back again to switch it on after i had felt that everything around me even time is going to suffocate me slowly enough to shut the lights to see ghosts attacks me all wants a piece of my brain and believe what i m an easy catch i felt a funeral in my brain and mourners to and fro kept treading treading till it seemed that sense was breaking through what emily dickinson said in this poem i had it all yesterday that s exactly what i felt and a strange dialog started to form itself as if i were with a shrink started of me saying i m not happy shrink what makes us happy me satisfying but i m satisfied of what i have so why then i m not happy why my brain can t stop thinking when will it shut shrink why do you want it to be shut me for i can sleep it s our nature we sleep to have rest shrink yes correct but we not you you only want the time to pass to start a new dawn new day and new sunshine to continue digging in new faces and following some new traces for you think you may find the person you re looking for to stop the curse of being alone at night you re scratching every portion in your brain squeezing it to find a comfortable chamber to stay in for trying to find a moment of quiet and sound but you couldn t you hate nights me well i do hate nights yes and a lot of people do so shrink yes true we all sometimes hate nights we both single and married moment of silent shrink what do you want to get married me yes shrink why me stability shrink stability hmm marry to someone kiss on the cheek in the morning making love at night having children later that s stability me yes that s stability shrink so what you think after marriage you will not spend nights drowning in your lonesome me i don t know and i don t want to know shrink again you want to pass the time to keep dreaming of a moment you may find it as an adventure to you a box you will open and happiness you will find me yes hell yes what s wrong with having hope for a better life hope is healthy makes us continue living and pass the hard times what s wrong with that shrink see you re now predicting something this something is delightful and shiny you bid your brain to cook an illusion and you name your new plate a hope and perhaps the taste is good perhaps it s not you don t give a damn you eat chews and swallow and you grew old day by day every time you want a new plate wants more and more to nourish your self with selfishness stop using the same equation stop calculating every thing happens in your life and don t you dare to equate the billions thoughts that branched out intensely from your insane head with the wisdom about looking for your treasure because the more you look for it the more you get lost and you would be slowly driven to insanity and twisted mind and if i came as a wiser once i will come as a manipulator later posted in article letters messages stories thoughts 10 comments photography vs poetry september 20 2009 a collection of some inspiring brilliant shots captured by a friend of mine the enchanted bird don t you see me yet i m the beautiful one with the longest neck i walk in pride i hush and hide but in my fantasy you are the noble enchanter i m the princess in her royal velvet then you hit coquette with your magical stick sailing away move the oars so strongly sail across the sea may be you reach a place where you find the ecstasy no sailor no life i stand and thinking i search and got disappointed i ask and no answer where is my other half and all is here are empty boats and all is here is silent leaping beyond the winds fly my little wings fly and hit the sky cause here is dusky and a little bit bleak and up there you may find the green bay the slopes covered with flowers that you always seek strange similarity the boat my boat the only colorful thing in my gray world your sailor shaped you well and colored your oaken wood then abandoned you here roughly alone with your solitude wings my wings you who have soared me above the ocean now you harbored here without a sweet emotion did the immense sky swear that you will flutter no more and become a homeless bird for infinity or it s written in your destiny that you will roost in this hopeless boat and become to him the companion and the friend now i see and observed how much the boat and i were became to this such similarity posted in photography poetry 7 comments the distress call september 12 2009 mayday mayday mayday this is me me me mayday me position 000 north 000 east middle of no where my boat is sinking i require immediate assistance only me on board over shortly before this no please no don t leave me i love you i never felt this way to anyone before i m totally immersed in love with you you are the only connection to me to reality i and my life will shut if you re gone ah my breath will go in vain my heart will be ceased its chiming what would i do in the absence of my whole existence in the absence of you with what i will continue living for what and why and where without you my one and only without you my reason for being do not replace the o with the e and a say i m loving you then slam my ears to not hear you saying i m leaving you for god sake my life will sink into meaningless and meaningless will pull me down and down into the ocean floor then i will be embraced only by nothingness hey do not linger if you will leave stab me with the butcher s knife and give me the infinite relief because being embraced by nothingness is better than breathing without you here i am sorry farewell he said and into the ocean he jumped fighting the waves the long distance to the shore or to another boat perhaps it could behold him or he could find his salvation on and then there is me my heart is burning my joyful memories in ashes lie my boat is sinking and i want nothing but my last resort but things are made by the law divine and while i was saying adieu to the world i saw a floating light coming towards me it was iridescent it was the most beautiful light my eyes have ever seen it hugged my sight and conjured the hope inside me then in a blink it vanished then i said no please no don t leave me i love me i never wanted me my life like this way before i m totally wants to live again my life is the only connection to me to love i and my heart will blossom again mayday mayday mayday this is me me me mayday me position 000 north 000 east middle of no where my boat is sinking i require immediate assistance only me on board over mayday mayday mayday i want my life back over i don t want to die over i don t want to die over please find me over this scene is simply reflects the dangerous situation i was living reflects 24 years in my life i lost 24 years in my life pursuing something intangible digging in the illusionary thinking in a try to get or predict a conclusion in order to determine which road i will take which road can make my life much easier and happier i was living these years in a constant wondering about when i m going to be hit by the enchanter s stick but instead of this i have been bashed smashed into the great wall of solitude and nervousness but thankfully i realized that i will not s...