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Text of the page (random words):
eets are still in the dryer i have left clean laundry on the dining room table that they need to dust decrumbed and eradicate peanut butter residue from i can t stop at the grocery store that i will drive right by i still have to do a lunch swap it s 10 00 and i have an 11 00 conference call for work at this point i am counting the drive home as additional cardio i race in let the cleaning lady in and flip on the oven to make a more appropriate lunch for my son aka frozen mini tacos in a thermos i decide i ll swing by the grocery store on my way home from my son s school and then the day will be back on track minus the lack of shower but it s 10 18 and i have a conference call in 42 minutes now at this point i contemplate abandoning operation lunch swap i could call the school explain what happened and ask them to put my son in isolation to get his protein fix but some of those kids with peanut allergies are my friends children i strive to be a model supporter of peanut allergies i take extra precautions when having peanut allergy kids over because i really care and don t want to be the cause of any epi pen parties i also can t take away my ten year old son s rainy day fun of heads up seven up do they still even lay that and have him sent to school siberia so i could just skip the grocery store and deal with that logistic later but that plan had already backfired a few times so i put an end to the logistical juggle i declined the conference call some days work must come first but sometimes i have to surrender to the chaos of life and know when i have been beat i calmly drove to school and when i walked in the office my son s teacher was standing there i told her why i had come and asked if she wanted a pb j for lunch she said while my trip wasn t necessary she appreciated me taking the welfare of the other students seriously there were a few jokes about the weatherman and then i headed to the classroom to make the swap because it was recess i then went to the playground and told my son the new carpool plan told him he had a new lunch and walked away feeling more at ease from school i went to the grocery store and contemplated one more errand but decided it was time to head home and try to catch the last part of my work call when i arrived home i raced to my computer to login and saw that the call had been cancelled in all my logistical juggling i had missed that email now i had time to make my first meal of the day and you know what they say if you give a mom a meal she is going to want a shower to go with it share this email a link to a friend opens in new window email share on facebook opens in new window facebook share on reddit opens in new window reddit share on x opens in new window x like loading categories uncategorized tags balance parenting working i quit november 10 2014 paige morgan 3 comments no i am not announcing my intention to quit blogging after a 2 year unannounced sabbatical that would just be silly and anti climatic and a short post but there are several things i am thinking about quitting or not quitting and i promised a friend that i would stop blogging in my head so this post is for her things i am quitting wearing workout clothes i rarely workout these days pajamas make more sense but i will change them in the morning sometimes dieting life is stressful food helps if i diet i will be more cranky and crazy than i am now that s not good for anyone exercising if i am in my pajamas and busy eating how could i possibly workout playdates because my definition of playdate is sending the kids out the door in hopes that they find a neighbor because i suck at scheduling them and then feel guilty the only exception is when someone asks for my help which i am truly happy to do or my kids plan one while i am standing there very effective and requires less back and forth texting i may wear a short to school that says i am happy to have your kids over put them in my car instead of waiting for me to offer good thing i am stopping the diet and exercise that s a lot for one shirt saying tomorrow is a new day tomorrow will be a list of things i should have done today in addition to tomorrow s to dos tomorrow will taunt me and make me miss today tomorrow is a jerk pretending i know how to juggle if i do one thing in my life well the others suffer i don t know how to balance it and be sane which leads me to sanity it is over rated and so damn hard to achieve things i am not quitting self deprecating humor if i say it before someone else it doesn t hurt so bad especially useful at work where i do a daily f ups recap with so much on my plate things are starting to fray like a bad pair of 80 s denim cut offs drinking wine and vodka no not mixed together usually keeps the men with the nice white coat from putting me in the nice padded room wishing i could write more because it s healthier than wine and vodka remembering that many people are chasing that elusive balance balance is like an elvis sighting they happen from time to time but aren t believable my job because it fulfills me it pays the bills as soon as i find the money tree in my backyard i will have a whole new blog for now i just have a lot of holes in my backyard watch your step swearing it s cathartic friends i have a 60 hour per week job and 2 kids in school and sports i only have help four hours per week i don t see any of my amazing friends as much as i d like but knowing they exist is much better than imaginary friends my husband and kids the three most amazing blessings god could give me they make everything worth it although often contribute to my insanity recognizing the humor in life s challenges i can t commit to laughing but i will observe said humor with a smug look on my face what are you quitting or not quitting share this email a link to a friend opens in new window email share on facebook opens in new window facebook share on reddit opens in new window reddit share on x opens in new window x like loading categories balance busy mom s guide confessions tags balance confessions drinking eating friendship kids parenting working 7 life rules you need in writing may 23 2012 paige morgan 4 comments i was on the phone with a friend last week and she was frustrated her husband was trying to help out by making bacon but he was burning it i teased her by saying you can t ask him to be more helpful and then criticize him when he tries she disagreed this sparked a conversation of the life rules the ones that we want others to follow but that we occasionally want to break such as don t ask for help then criticize it so i have decided to publish in writing a new set of life rules to use at your discretion when you need life to work in your favor life is fair this means that if something is unfair you have the right to be upset cranky and consume chocolate and wine you can have your cake and eat it too especially if you wash it down with wine you can look a gift horse in the mouth if you don t like the gift or the strings attached to it treats others as you would like to treat them especially when you re mad at them they deserve it or you have run out of chocolate and wine a penny saved is a penny wasted if there is a sale on shoes good things come to those who don t wait carpe diem baby make things happen take action if you want something done don t give it to a busy person i am a busy person and can t handle anymore why should the people who aren t busy get a pass and a few that are perfect just the way they are hell hath no fury like a woman scorned two words lorena bobbit eat drink and be merry for tomorrow we die even if we know we will live for years eat drink and be merry tomorrow is another day which means i have another opportunity to be a better mom demonstrate that i am enough what other life rules do you love or need revised share this email a link to a friend opens in new window email share on facebook opens in new window facebook share on reddit opens in new window reddit share on x opens in new window x like loading categories life paige s favorites uncategorized tags chocolate humor life wine from a mom to her friends may 16 2012 paige morgan 5 comments to all of my friends in persona nd virtual who help this mommy stay more balanced than not when you listen i keep my sanity when you laugh my heart smiles when you show support i survive when you rant i agree when you re lost i hold the compass when you re ready to pull it together i help gather the pieces when you have a great day i am happy when you interrupt i am glad you can relate when you re sad i am heartbroken when you triumph i am not surprised when you walk out of the room i steal a sip of your wine share this email a link to a friend opens in new window email share on facebook opens in new window facebook share on reddit opens in new window reddit share on x opens in new window x like loading categories friendship tags friendship a mother s day drinking song may 11 2012 paige morgan 6 comments in honor of mother s day sung to the tune of if you re happy and you know it if you re a mommy and you know it clap your hands drink some wine if you take phone calls in your closet clap your hands drink some wine if you re exhausted and you re cranky and your kids beg please don t spank me if you re a mommy and you know it clap your hands drink some wine if you re kitchen floors are sticky clap your hands drink some wine if the kids you feed are picky clap your hands drink some wine if you re overwhelmed with laundry and all you hear is mommy if you re a mommy and you know it clap your hands drink some wine if you re kids are always fighting clap your hands drink some wine if your wrinkles need less lighting clap your hands drink some wine if your kids are being naughty and there are legos in your potty if you re a mommy and you know it clap your hands drink some wine if homework is harder on you clap your hands drink some wine if their library books are overdue clap your hands drink some wine if you re shelling out the dough for soccer ballet and tai kwon do if you re a mommy and you know it clap your hands drink some wine if you can t keep up with messes clap your hands drink some wine if cps knows what your address is clap your hands drink some wine if you bribe to keep them quiet and lie to avoid a riot if you re a mommy and you know it clap your hands drink some wine if you heart is filled with pride clap your hands drink some wine if homemade gifts have made you cry clap your hands drink some wine if you wouldn t trade it all for a maid and the taj mahal if you re a mommy and you know it clap your hands drink some wine if kisses make your day clap your hands drink some wine if you love to watch them play clap your hands drink some wine if you know how lucky you are to raise your little stars if you re a mommy and you know it clap your hands drink some wine happy mother s day and please don t hate me for getting that song stuck in your head share this email a link to a friend opens in new window email share on facebook opens in new window facebook share on reddit opens in new window reddit share on x opens in new window x like loading categories holidays humor paige s favorites parenting tags kids love mother s day mother s day song mothers parenting wine the compliment that almost broke my heart may 9 2012 paige morgan 12 comments my husband and i went together to drop my daughter off at preschool last friday we don t typically go together but it was the end of a long week and we thought it would be fun as we were walking back to our car one of the other moms stopped us as she was walking in you two are so cute coming together i don t know how you do it you both work full time but you re always smiling you re very involved with your sweet kids and i can only imagine that your house is amazing and you paige look great my husband i both started laughing in disbelief i glanced down at my short average body and glanced back at her tall slender frame and thought she must usually wear glasses just hide in my house for a day and you ll see why i always say don t look behind the curtain you ll hear me yelling you ll see the messes and you ll figure out that i am crazy but thank you you are very kind i said as we headed to the car that brief interaction sent me into a tail spin i started mentally listing by category all of my faults and short comings positive and smiling i typically only use the f word when i am upset i use the f word daily multiple times per day my best friend thinks i should pay her as much as i pay my therapist when it comes to parenting i have been asked to write a book on what not to do amazing house if the kitchen cabinets aren t re done soon the house may be condemned there is always mold in my shower i am better at math than decorating and i barely passed high school math this list continued as i walked back into the house by the time i sat down to my computer to work i was on the edge of a melt down i felt like a fake how could this high energy fit sweet mom be praising me i decided to write this blog post on how upset i was to be given praise that i didn t deserve then the most magical thing happened before i could start this post i checked my email in my inbox was a post from one of my favorite bloggers julie gardner the post was entitled today call me enough as she was guest posting on the blog just be enough hello before you even visit the blog which you should the title should be smacking you in the face it left a big nasty red mark on my cheek here s the magical part i read it and stopped making my why that sweet mom is crazy and i don t have it together list i have decided the appropriate response to the sweet mom at preschool is thank you thank you for recognizing that i work full time but make parenting my priority thank you for pointing out when i couldn t see it that i do a pretty damn good job of juggling it all most of the time thanks for not expecting me to be perfect even though i sometimes am crazy enough to expect that of myself i have tons of help from my husband and others but i do the best i can it s not perfect but it s enough it s interesting i have no trouble listing my failures and flaws on this blog i use humor to mask the negative feelings but at the end of the day i am comfortable being truthful if it helps others feel normal it s much harder for me to share my accomplishments and pride i thought about creating a second list of all the great things i do but find it too hard to brag why is it so much easier to focus on the negative instead of celebrating the positive i always push friends and family to celebrate their strengths i tell them not to be so hard on themselves i marvel at their greatness but i am relentless in measuring myself i think many of us fall into this camp we push ourselves so hard to be perfect to succeed and ultimately just drive ourselves crazy or to drink or to chocolate since friday when i have felt ambition o...