Meta tags:
description=come to an AFTER ALL THIS screening and reading next week 2/4;
author=Sarah Thankam Mathews;

Headings (most frequently used words):

the, and, to, of, in, as, it, my, into, someone, work, saw, that, your, an, all, this, from, for, about, way, something, else, time, myself, trying, you, dream, after, screening, reading, being, more, writing, american, is, one, by, making, not, me, had, made, many, make, its, becoming, which, hostile, somebody, see, around, nobody, wants, thot, pudding, quick, dashed, off, notes, come, next, week, wednesday, andrew, nadkarni, manuscript, desert, outside, late, hostility, vs, seduction, preorder, living, together, occupation, boomeranging, cities, ready, discussion, post, heart, was, thudding, title, appeared, vulnerable, constructed, am, let, strangers, glimpse, life, progress, versus, finished, fiction, but, watched, eased, what, material, involved, hands, footage, first, child, intrigued, self, conscious, total, novelty, recorded, glimpses, places, present, lost, fleeting, adult, artist, speaking, challenge, interest, stared, up, at, screen, felt, passage, sense, been, captured, moment, makes, everything, okay, also, doesn, traps, frees, us, relentless, melt, loss, re, impose, idea, picture, try, wrench, mind, quite, often, want, tell, nightmare, well, hear, good, or, bad, walk, with, writer, always, tricking, reader, listening,

Text of the page (most frequently used words):
the (71), and (57), this (27), work (13), that (13), for (12), more (12), you (11), about (10), from (10), your (9), can (9), one (9), was (9), sarah (8), all (8), what (8), not (8), make (8), thankam (7), mathews (7), things (7), after (7), #someone (6), together (6), could (6), people (6), are (6), with (6), something (6), some (6), love (5), living (5), story (5), reader (5), change (5), but (5), who (5), being (5), here (5), time (5), reading (5), saw (5), share (4), like (4), say (4), come (4), new (4), find (4), know (4), experience (4), myself (4), way (4), has (4), last (4), american (4), into (4), want (4), been (4), then (4), get (3), subscribe (3), reply (3), don (3), seduction (3), off (3), try (3), self (3), year (3), next (3), becoming (3), their (3), often (3), around (3), there (3), writers (3), read (3), writer (3), while (3), made (3), attention (3), also (3), had (3), true (3), many (3), once (3), hostile (3), trying (3), else (3), dream (3), writing (3), perfume (3), fall (3), ask (3), god (3), short (3), screening (3), making (3), room (3), small (3), friend (3), told (3), javascript (2), great (2), substack (2), 2026 (2), posts (2), comments (2), antagonism (2), where (2), sauce (2), liked (2), anthology (2), feel (2), without (2), jan (2), post (2), drive (2), thot (2), pudding (2), own (2), lives (2), future (2), nyc (2), protest (2), today (2), against (2), ice (2), day (2), minnesota (2), occupation (2), much (2), bad (2), makes (2), most (2), preorder (2), organizing (2), during (2), have (2), attempt (2), disconnection (2), features (2), other (2), called (2), act (2), maybe (2), well (2), said (2), felt (2), his (2), through (2), somebody (2), see (2), nobody (2), wants (2), always (2), her (2), why (2), late (2), than (2), others (2), 2025 (2), let (2), putting (2), out (2), will (2), malayali (2), part (2), talk (2), sense (2), which (2), its (2), screen (2), life (2), first (2), particular (2), andrew (2), nadkarni (2), wednesday (2), raining (2), sign (2), stewed (2), difficult (2), how (2), state (2), another (2), between (2), painted (2), human (2), happen (2), beautiful (2), quick (2), dashed (2), notes (2), site, requires, run, correctly, please, unblock, scripts, turn, home, culture, app, start, collection, notice, terms, privacy, ready, discussions, latest, top, funny, think, hovering, doorstep, open, door, look, weird, vase, picked, sidewalk, sandwich, invented, kind, mixing, kinds, feb, pia, owens, when, becomes, available, reminds, naomi, kritzer, need, information, inspiration, mutual, aid, organisation, https, www, uncannymagazine, com, article, sunshine, umi, sinha, restacks, discussion, previous, megan, fernandes, supported, publication, receive, support, consider, free, paid, subscriber, particularly, radical, student, themselves, rooms, structures, govern, organized, flawed, partial, compromised, volatile, unknown, unknowable, give, yourself, foley, square, smartphone, might, ones, close, striking, national, perhaps, trust, solidarity, live, terrorized, tangible, referencing, events, worsened, grown, brutal, going, partly, because, endless, exposure, terrible, news, afraid, paralyzed, helpless, fact, wrote, since, boomeranging, cities, telling, experiences, brooklyn, height, covid, almost, never, write, details, projects, public, departure, opposite, loneliness, essay, too, titled, binding, theme, community, age, essays, kim, stanley, robinson, jonathan, escoffery, kristin, arnett, rhaina, cohen, really, smart, excited, they, editor, samantha, paige, rosen, put, labor, worth, says, tries, over, informed, zillion, claims, every, minute, narrative, disposition, hell, author, worst, possible, outcome, indifference, emotional, boredom, seduce, ever, pleasure, hearing, across, mine, enjoy, different, talked, ayad, akhtar, smartest, agree, wholly, sure, lens, impose, idea, picture, wrench, mind, quite, tell, nightmare, hear, good, walk, tricking, listening, joan, didion, linda, kuehl, asked, elaborate, interview, she, replied, variety, reasons, doing, loftier, grounded, principle, less, lofty, simply, hard, command, person, truly, actually, presence, crowd, willing, recent, readings, gate, sun, doom, sanctuary, performance, slash, participatory, aspect, nicely, jamie, hood, arabelle, sicardi, shahamat, uddin, star, studded, cuts, hair, kalina, heras, photo, long, strange, call, now, hibernation, started, world, again, continue, wills, featuring, cows, ships, setting, glamorous, withholding, grandmother, metropolitan, bar, earlier, month, ariél, martinez, delightful, series, outside, hostility, rsvp, aaww, passage, captured, moment, everything, okay, doesn, traps, frees, relentless, melt, loss, stared, vulnerable, constructed, strangers, glimpse, progress, versus, finished, fiction, watched, eased, material, involved, hands, footage, child, intrigued, conscious, total, novelty, recorded, glimpses, places, present, lost, fleeting, adult, artist, speaking, challenge, interest, heart, thudding, title, appeared, still, feels, full, may, event, asian, workshop, maryam, mir, sophomore, gorgeous, film, coming, desert, manuscript, unsay, them, contradictions, lines, desk, raspberry, framed, gift, meg, excerpt, poem, refrain, factual, ominous, foreshadowing, novel, gothic, turns, line, repeated, throughout, arundhati, roy, night, begun, plans, leave, country, convey, naturalization, takes, impossible, qualify, attain, citizenship, everyone, real, primed, yesterday, old, naturalized, citizen, racially, profiled, midwest, flung, uber, ordered, handcuffed, screaming, longer, novelist, would, interested, journalist, scale, relationships, used, office, doleful, uneven, walls, floors, very, ugly, shade, somewhere, burgundy, raspberries, became, quality, alteration, thinking, question, only, hold, rescue, bearable, week,

Text of the page (random words):
quick dashed off notes by sarah thankam mathews thot pudding subscribe sign in quick dashed off notes come to an after all this screening and reading next week 2 4 sarah thankam mathews jan 30 2026 45 5 6 share i used to find my office a small doleful room with uneven walls and floors very ugly then i painted it a shade somewhere between burgundy and stewed raspberries and it became beautiful to me it s that particular quality of alteration i ve been thinking about first one state then another the question that only some people ask and hold what could make this work what could rescue this what could make this more bearable what could make this more beautiful everyone i know has been living through real change one state then another for some for some an in between a primed not painted room yesterday i saw an old friend a naturalized american citizen who told me about his experience being racially profiled by ice while in the midwest last year flung against the uber he was ordered out of and handcuffed while he was screaming the longer story he told me was a human one one the novelist would be interested by more than the journalist a story in short of what can happen after at the human scale happen after something like that to someone s life and relationships and sense of future it is difficult to convey how much work and time naturalization takes in the u s how difficult to impossible it can be to qualify for and attain citizenship my friend told me last night he has begun to make plans to leave this country things can change in a day it s a line repeated throughout arundhati roy s the god of small things a refrain that is factual and ominous at once foreshadowing the novel s malayali gothic turns on my desk in my stewed raspberry room is a small framed gift from my friend meg an excerpt from her poem drive with the lines i say things and then unsay them it was love it was not love it is raining it is not raining contradictions are a sign we are from god we fall we don t always get to ask why wednesday 2 4 screening of andrew nadkarni s after all this and a reading from my manuscript in the desert if you re in nyc this coming wednesday come to this event that the asian american writers workshop is putting on andrew nadkarni maryam mir and i will talk about making sophomore work we ll screen their gorgeous short film after all this and i ll read from the b k more about after all this here in the making sarah thankam mathews may 22 2025 read full story this part in particular still feels true my heart was thudding as the title appeared it s not not vulnerable for someone constructed the way i am to let strangers into a glimpse of my life into something in progress versus finished fiction work but i watched and something eased in me i saw what someone else had made from material that involved me from the work of many hands i saw footage for the first time of myself as a child intrigued and made self conscious by the total novelty of being recorded i saw glimpses of my many places present and lost and fleeting i saw myself as an adult and an artist trying to make work speaking about its challenge and interest and as i stared up at the screen i felt the passage of time the sense that i had been captured in a moment of it in becoming in the making of myself and my work time which makes everything okay and also doesn t which traps and frees us all in its relentless melt of becoming and loss rsvp to the aaww screening and talk to being more outside of late writing as hostility vs writing as seduction after a long and strange let s call it for now hibernation i started putting more new work out in the world again last fall and will continue to this year if god wills it here s me reading a new short story featuring cows ships a post u s setting a glamorous and withholding malayali grandmother at metropolitan bar earlier in the month this was part of ariél martinez delightful reading series perfume photo by kalina heras who also cuts hair if you ask nicely next perfume 2 3 features jamie hood arabelle sicardi shahamat uddin and more star studded fr like my recent readings at gate of the sun and doom sanctuary fall of 2025 there was a performance slash participatory aspect to my perfume reading there are a variety of reasons why i ve been doing this of late some are loftier than others more grounded in principle but one less lofty one is simply this my own attention is hard to command and so i know this is true of others and i want your attention not for me as self or person truly and actually but for the work i want the reader s presence want the crowd s i m willing to work for it joan didion often called writing a hostile act linda kuehl once asked her to elaborate during an interview she replied it s hostile in that you re trying to make somebody see something the way you see it trying to impose your idea your picture it s hostile to try to wrench around someone else s mind that way quite often you want to tell somebody your dream your nightmare well nobody wants to hear about someone else s dream good or bad nobody wants to walk around with it the writer is always tricking the reader into listening to the dream i agree with this wholly but i m not sure i experience this through the lens of an antagonism i once talked to the writer ayad akhtar who said some of the smartest things about all this could be different i ve ever had the pleasure of hearing i said something i felt to be true across his work and mine and that of many of the writers i enjoy most was the attempt to seduce the reader the act of seduction is informed by the zillion other claims being made every minute for the reader s attention and also maybe by the narrative s disposition hell maybe the author s as well where the worst possible outcome is indifference and emotional disconnection and boredom come over here the work says or tries to i ll make it worth your while preorder living together the writer and editor samantha paige rosen has put together an anthology labor of love called living together the binding theme is the attempt to find and make community in an age of disconnection it features essays from kim stanley robinson jonathan escoffery kristin arnett rhaina cohen and other really great and smart writers i m excited to read what they have to say i have an essay in there too it s titled the opposite of loneliness it s a telling of some of my experiences organizing in brooklyn during the height of covid i almost never write about the details of my organizing projects in public this is one departure preorder living together here american occupation is boomeranging into american cities one by one since i last wrote referencing events in minnesota the occupation has worsened grown more brutal i m not going to say so much here this time around partly because i know from experience that endless exposure to terrible things and bad news makes most people feel afraid and paralyzed and helpless you can in fact do something tangible perhaps with people you like and trust to be in solidarity with people who live in minnesota who are being terrorized today is a national day of protest and striking against ice you can find the ones close to you nyc s protest is today 4 pm foley square if you can go without your smartphone that s what i might do i don t experience myself as particularly radical i am a student of people or i try to be people can change things in themselves in the rooms of their own lives in the way the structures that govern their lives are organized the change is often flawed and partial compromised and volatile but things can change the future is unknown and unknowable give yourself to it love sarah thot pudding is a reader supported publication to receive new posts and support my work consider becoming a free or paid subscriber subscribe from megan fernandes drive 45 5 6 share previous next discussion about this post comments restacks umi sinha jan 30 liked by sarah thankam mathews i d love to know when the living together anthology becomes available in the uk it reminds me of this story by naomi kritzer https www uncannymagazine com article the year without sunshine i feel we need all the information and inspiration we can get about mutual aid and self organisation reply share 1 reply by sarah thankam mathews pia owens feb 16 liked by sarah thankam mathews funny i don t think of it as antagonism or seduction more like if someone is hovering on your doorstep and you open the door and say come on in look at this weird vase i picked up off the sidewalk try this sandwich where i invented a new kind of sauce by mixing together all the kinds of sauce i could find reply share 3 more comments top latest discussions no posts ready for more subscribe 2026 sarah thankam mathews privacy terms collection notice start your substack get the app substack is the home for great culture this site requires javascript to run correctly please turn on javascript or unblock scripts