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socal cabbie socal cabbie stories from a night shift cabbie in san diego california sunday august 24 2008 gringo learns spanish the hard way i don t speak spanish but i ve picked up a little bit along the way a hyundai tiburon drove by a cab stand and i said the car is okay but why does it have a nonsensical name a mexican american driver said it means shark in spanish i had absolutely no idea i thought the good folks at hyndai had tried to invent something does anyone know about the buick lacrosse in montreal or the chevy nova in south america i ve been using tiburon on the radio lately we have some yellow taxis some blue and some white when business is slow drivers will identify themselves as el bandito azule for the blue ones etc one guy has the id el mejor meaning the best on account of getting long rides when i hear these ids i ll say please forgive the spelling jo soy el tiburon on a related theme i remember when a mexican driver taught me to say how are you he said and again please forgive the spelling comme es ta culo i said that to a few drivers but thankfully not to any mexican customers before somebody explained that it means how are you asshole the joke was on the gringo posted by ted martin at 8 24 2008 10 45 00 pm 22 comments labels driver antics mccain by 10 points most of our drivers believe john mccain will be our next president a few think it will be obama and one still thinks it might be gwb again after a coup sets him up as dictator from cabstand discussions it seems our drivers believe experience will give mccain an edge we seem evenly split on left and right wing we have a number of people who are liberal and a few conservatives some are independent and there s an odd libertarian most want a smaller federal government but with a strong military most believe energy independence is america s biggest need which isn t too surprising considering fuel is not included in the cab lease posted by ted martin at 8 24 2008 10 45 00 pm 2 comments border blues we have a few mexican drivers who live in tijuana they re always complaining about the long line to cross the border into the usa it takes 1 3 hours i mentioned to one of them that for 300 or so per year he can get an express pass it s supposed to be much quicker i read about it in the paper he said i don t want to give money to the u s government an american couldn t have said it better another driver had an idea why don t you just run across the desert like everybody else the mexican guy laughed taking the joke in stride posted by ted martin at 8 24 2008 10 44 00 pm 2 comments labels driver antics big marcy i apologize up front for the upcoming crude language about large ladies while i harbor no ill will for the bigguns i decided to write this in the way it was discussed remember that we are after all cabbies after midnight our informal cab stands form across the street from any number of bars one such stand has generated a regular customer big marcy her qualities include the following 300 lbs or more dumb lazy mean alcoholic needs alcohol rehabs and weight watchers she likes to curse especially at cab drivers and her skinny husband she treats him like a slave barking orders at him also big marcy is a short ride and she doesn t tip despite all this i m sure she s a fine woman i m the pope by the way because people can t smoke in bars in california there s usually a crowd of smokers in front of bars like hawks we watch these crowds for a raised hand or the yell taxi some people just give the look as if that s sufficient when we get a taker the guy first in line will start his car do a u turn and pull around to the bar we also watch these crowds for pukers and other undesirables fortunately for us big marcy is easy to spot standing around with other drivers somebody will yell marcy and the first driver will get in his car readying to leave the stand if she wants a cab sometimes drivers get belled to her meaning she called hq from her cell if the driver refuses the bell he loses the next hour s worth of bells making refusal a bad option he might get an angry call from the cab company owner too and that s not pleasant last night marcy came out of a bar and jiggled her way through the throng of smokers and came to rest at the curb we became anxious from our vantage point across the street we saw her raise a chubby arm we all looked away pretending not to see the arm waved with vigor and the jokes commenced she s burning a lot of calories waving that arm around we shouldn t spoil her workout by picking her up these old taxis don t have suspensions that can handle a girl like that i don t like it when my tailpipe drags on the ground do you think she d fit in the trunk they don t need a cab the skinny little husband can give her a piggy back ride too bad there s not a jenny craig around here we could drive by on the way to her house as a subtle hint i did warn you we re cabbies i d like you to believe i didn t join in then the worst thing that can happen happened big marcy reached into a purse the size of a carry on and pulled out a cell phone the first driver jumped in his taxi started his car and was gone for the night the second driver leaned in his window and switched off his radio so sorry he joked i didn t hear my radio the third driver was looking dejected after dispatch tried in vain to reach the first two the third was called i was fourth in line and needing him to accept the bell made a mockery of telling him it was his duty to answer the radio and take the bell is he a person of strong moral fiber or not the honorable thing to do i explained is to help that poor woman if my appeals failed i d have to offer him cash with a lot of cursing before keying the mic he accepted the bell then proceeded to light a fresh cigarette we all laughed at the slow pace he was setting big marcy meanwhile is watching us from across the street then the driver did something that has never been tried before he moved his front seats all the way back easily done by leaning in the open windows and pressing the buttons my seat motors are broken he practiced think she ll fit back there one smart guy pointed out that the skinny hubby will take the back seat and marcy will take the front he hadn t thought of that but he quickly recovered moving the passenger side seat all the way forward then tilting the back of the seat all the way back before he left he said something about not being able to reach the pedals but he did well considering he made his u eey and pulled to the curb we watched poor ole marcy open one door and then another then give up dispatch came on the radio dispatch what happened with marcy she s saying you refused to drive her driver she doesn t fit in the car the electric seats aren t working so we couldn t make it work dispatch 10 4 he then went on to the next driver who never answered tonight the driver who had the seat malfunction received a call from the owner who tried to catch him in the lie by telling him to bring the car to the mechanic immediately to get the car worked on it was a blown fuse the driver explained and he had just replaced it that night the owner made an announcement on the radio all drivers will pick up marcy with no exceptions we ve gone through that with several other bad customers like reed and the deceased marzetti now we ll have to put more work into it just like with those others we ll have to monitor marcy s whereabouts during the course of her drunken evenings and evade by changing stands legitimately i have trouble remembering so maybe i ll use the small notebook i keep in the car for gambling pools if i miss the radio calls giving away her movements i can always do what i do with the others pay some other driver to take the bell somebody will usually take an idiot off my hands for 5 or 10 posted by ted martin at 8 24 2008 10 44 00 pm 1 comments labels bad customers older posts home contributors ted martin unknown recommended steve phillips intern 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