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il i either had passed the airport going east or could see the labott road sign ahead going west that way i knew the field was no longer in my line of sight i didn t do that today today i bearded the lion i pulled off the highway at the same place i had two years ago i sat quietly until the pain in my chest stopped and the knot in my stomach let go after a few more minutes i grabbed my camera got out and walked along the side of the road to the spot where that woman had stepped across the ditch facing the labott road sign i studied it until the negative image started shimmering around the edge i photographed it it became an ordinary road sign had no effect on me i turned to the field and photographed it too focusing on the spot where the woman had dropped to her knees this year the owner grew soybeans instead of corn maybe next spring he she will plant timothy or wheat see it s just an ordinary field posted by the crow at 10 31 pm 13 comments friday december 25 2015 umm greetings ever wonder what santa does in the off season here are two possibilities photo above and video link https vimeo com 81979873 happy holidays everybody ps check out the flag behind santa posted by the crow at 12 31 pm 9 comments thursday november 26 2015 giving thanks image found here there is much for which to be thankful this day despite or maybe because of the misery that surrounds us speaking only for myself i am grateful for at least these things today i awoke this morning always glad to open my eyes and see light streaming through my windows i rolled out of bed without incurring the wrath of the spasm monster my knees didn t buckle beneath me and i could walk without bracing myself against the wall my daughter and grandson are alive and well and headed out to spend the holiday with her father and his family i m going to their apartment later to cat sit and make rice pudding i hear voices of children playing in the alley next to my house these are not children from the neighborhood but likely visiting relatives nearby for thanksgiving they re tossing around a beat up old football and yelling with such joy and enthusiasm it is impossible not to giggle along with them several homes chimneys are expelling clouds of smoke in columns straight up to the sky the scent of burning wood wafts in on the drafts around the doors cheering me immeasurably i love the odors of fall and early winter especially wood smoke there is food in the house not the usual feast larder but plenty nonetheless heating oil in the tank enough money in the bank to pay bills warm clothing running fresh water and a secure roof over my head i still have a job my health well it certainly could be better but it could be and has been at other times worse the main thing for which i am thankful this day is that i woke up it s all gravy from that point on no matter what comes i am alive up to the moment life leaves me and it would be disgraceful of me to feel anything else but gratitude i ll try very hard to remember what i just wrote should things take a turn for the worse posted by the crow at 1 01 pm 12 comments tuesday november 17 2015 standing with france when i first saw casablanca on television late night movie program i was so caught up in the story that when la marseillaise was played i stood and sang the anthem knew the music but not the lyrics tears streaming down my face i have loved france or the idea of france perhaps more accurately ever since liberty equality and brother sister hood were ideals i naively thought the us was founded on too the intervening years have shown me that we have far to go as does every other nation on earth but tonight i will listen to la marseillaise and hope for peace and recovery for paris for france and for the rest of the world i don t know what else to do posted by the crow at 9 40 pm 10 comments sunday november 1 2015 first november sunset this evening as i walked out of my favorite coffee shop cafe i glanced skyward and was rewarded with an interesting dance in the clouds above at first the bottoms were covered in mammatus pouches which usually signal severe weather within a couple of seconds the pouches began to unfurl like paper streamers or fat curls of hair released from bobby pins luckily my point and shoot was in my bag and i was able to capture these pictures i ve never seen anything like this in my entire life i walked to the rear of the cafe and found that the winds had smoothed the lumps and bumps and tendrils into smooth streaks breathtaking color and rhythm it was like watching an invisible paintbrush laying multi hued streaks of light across a fathomless canvas the show was mesmerizing spirit lifting unforgettable wow isn t this universe amazing i have a thing about numbers so when i started writing this post at 11 11pm on 11 1 i thought that was a good sign a good sign of what i couldn t say just felt it was auspicious posted by the crow at 11 39 pm 11 comments sunday july 26 2015 not much you today i am 68 years and 1 day old seems like only a couple of days ago that i was 67 my how time flies july 25 is according to ancient mayan culture the day out of time the day of kin which is outside of time is july 25th also called green day green day was considered by the maya as a special day to prepare the soul creating a space for play art magic and creativity this year the day passed with hardly any notice for me anyway is it a sign of aging that birthdays don t matter as much as when we were younger i have a new therapist one i think will help me work through the ptsd crap i am hopeful at least lightning bugs are here later than usual this summer most years they are here the last half of june into the first week or so of july this year they didn t show up until the middle of this month however there seem to be a great many more than usual their tiny bodies fill the evenings with luminescent acid green light rising just after the sun disappears from the horizon in that space between twilight and nightfall what joy i am nearing that age when i ll probably have to retake the state s driver s license test or at least have to go through an eye and reflex test two more years of degenerating vision and slowing reflexes and i m screwed time to get a bus pass and learn to leave the driving to someone else i guess there is a new young cat visiting my property pretty little grey and black tiger half grown kitten very friendly likes being petted and held he curls his rather prehensile tail around my wrist when i pet him i thought it was sweet until i realized poison ivy rash now encircles my wrist despite my wishes donovan has named the cat georgie junior after a cat he lost to feline distemper a few years ago well you know what they say about naming an animal it s yours forever so i guess i ll feed it too but this is absolutely the last one after so many wet weeks we are in a dry and hot spell not too bad but i find myself longing for the cooler weather of late september early october as if time weren t flying by fast enough already as my mother used to tell me martha you d complain if they hung you with a new rope probably but if the sky was as blue as a dutchman s britches and full of fluffy white clouds with a cool breeze and low humidity at least i wouldn t mind the weather that s about all that s on my mind this evening how are things your way posted by the crow at 9 42 pm 9 comments sunday july 12 2015 lazy sunday afternoon this is one of those days when the sunday lazies take over and i don t do a damned thing but guzzle iced tea sitting on the front steps well hardly anything else i did spend some time reading the mail i set aside earlier in the week downloaded a photo of grandson in his first job uniform cruised the interwebs to see what y all were up to this morning fed the cat and watered the plants i should have put in the ground a few weeks ago on that last item it would appear i have the sunday lazies other days of the week as well first i want to tell you about this web site that michael linked to at the bottom of today s post where i found this went through half a gallon of tea reading swpd so eye opening i ve written many times about my grandson donovan donovan is on the autism spectrum with asperger s syndrome when he was about 8 years old the counselor at the grade school he attended in gettysburg told his mother that because he was autistic with serious physical development disorders he likely wouldn t live to be 12 years old but if he did he certainly wouldn t make it to high school if he somehow beat those astronomical odds he absolutely wouldn t finish with grades good enough to get to college furthermore he would be better off if she placed him in a residential facility where professionals would know how to care for him until the end of his days well it took donovan longer than neuro typical kids to get through high school graduating when he was 21 having been on the honor roll seven out of the previous twelve marking periods three of those on the high honors roll when he graduated and walked across the carpet outdoors ceremony to accept his diploma almost the entire senior class stood and applauded him oh yeah mom was also told he d never have friends either because he lacked communication skills he is attending summer session at the local community college with plans to continue there for the next two years before transferring to more technologically advanced college or university donovan wants to become a video games programmer designer with the aim of writing programs to help other kids on the spectrum develop social and academic skills tools that would have helped him accelerate his learning had they been available interactive video presentations of academic material have proved successful with people on the spectrum last week he was hired to work part time working around his class schedules at a local fast food restaurant no not mcd s the first two days were supposed to be spent on video training but he finished that in one afternoon so they moved him to the counter the first couple of hours the next day but put him on one of the food prep stations when another kid called in sick his managers are astounded that he learned the machines and the menu preps in the remaining four hours of that second day especially because when the late afternoon evening rush came on he was in the kitchen by himself am i bragging too much can t help it he amazes me everyday with what he can do how far he has come from when he was 8 years old how wicked intelligent he is how kind and compassionate okay i ll stop for today taken with his mother s cell phone the mail was nothing much except for a billing summary from the local hospital had to visit the emergency room two weeks ago thought i was having a stroke only a tia fortunately i was in for four days on the cva floor the bill came to almost twenty three thousand yep 23 000 dollars medicare will take care of most of that for me but what do people without health care do how do people manage this sort of expense without insurance mr president you haven t lived up to your promise on this one i m taking your campaign bumper stickers off my car in futile protest not because i think it will make any difference now the cat sigh cat no longer lives in the house she seems to think my legs are a cat olympics slalom drill which is not good for someone with vision and balance problems she climbs the furniture and curtains as if they were rock walls knocking obstacles books pictures computer monitor and other peripherals that weigh less than she to the floor in addition she likes to play ninja commando cat where in she leaps upon me when my back is turned forget about sitting at the computer when she s in the house or swats my ankles while in deep cover between the refrigerator and the baker s rack in order to feed her i have to pick up the bowl and turn away from her to put food in it otherwise she pushes her head in the way and food spills all around the bowl not in it i like that she wants to go for walks with me though long walks as if she were a dog trots about five feet ahead of me meows bitterly if i stop to smell the neighbor s roses or pause to chat with anyone plus the crows are beginning to associate me with her and make menacing fly bys even when i m alone i keep telling her she is free to go find a new home just like she did this one a couple of octobers ago the look she gives me in return says that i m free to leave too any time like now what s holding you up old woman time to refill the pitcher maybe get those plants in the ground before it rains this afternoon posted by the crow at 2 24 pm 11 comments saturday july 4 2015 happy happy photo by cindy tucey www sharetheexperience org hope today is a good day for everyone happy birthday america flawed beauty that you are i love you anyway posted by the crow at 12 30 pm 6 comments sunday june 21 2015 i won t turn back pastor charles jenkins last evening i attended a memorial service and candlelight vigil for the charleston nine at st paul s a m e zion in neighboring gettysburg i was gratified and filled with hope to see that half the people who packed the church were white all of us regardless of color or ethnicity were there to grieve together and offer support to the congregation of emanuel a m e in charleston south carolina worship service at st paul s is vastly different from services at menallen friends meeting where i am a member though more in name only over the last couple of years we quakers sit in silence awaiting god the light within to speak to our souls at st paul s they call out loud for god to enter the house to fill their hearts and souls with his presence they offer praise with prayer with songs with their bodies i felt at home there last night unlike i have felt at my meeting for a very long time one thing i found interesting and understandable considering the small size of st paul s is that they use recorded music to which they sing along joy spills out of the mouths of the congregation their voices raised to a level that makes it seem the rafters are shaking which they might be given the age of the church the gospel song that was playing when i arrived that the congregation was singing with great fervor rocked my soul last night long after the vigil ended and i drove back home it is my anthem for the rest of my life one phrase especially is my new motto and the title of this post i will not turn away this time i can t how about you posted by the crow at 3 15 pm 9 comments friday june 19 2015 marvels in the wake of yet another heinous slaughter of innocents in this country i am too depressed to think clearly right now i need to think what to do next tonight i let pablo casals speak for me posted by the crow at 6 28 pm 4 comments thursday may 21 2015 the can alone i came home from a long exhausting day on the road and dealing with elements of my past i wish i could have left along the wayside somewhere b...