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Text of the page (random words):
rthday we mourned a little bit because we thought you would never be mature enough to babysit by the time you were 10 we couldn t believe how much you had changed and grown up we started leaving you at home by yourself or with logan while i went to the store while the pandemic was going on i was trying to sell the second of a set of townhomes we built and i had to meet up with potential buyers during the day i would leave you home while cohen napped and you older three watched a movie and you did such a good job this spring dad and i went on a couple of dates out to dinner while you stayed home in charge of the other three kids and watched a movie it was so fun to know you were responsible enough to handle watching everyone this winter and spring you saw a therapist about 10 12 times and he helped you work on some things you were having trouble with i know school is long and tedious for you and it wears down on you clara also has had a rough year where she has been nearly constantly on steroids and she has been a bear to live with these things transferred over to you in ways that were making it hard for you to be your best self you are doing so great now though i am proud of you now you are 11 each year you have grown up so much i am excited to see how much you change and learn this year you have so many strengths ethan you are quick to understand anything mechanical we went to the kaltschmidt s house last year and they had a bike that was broken you fixed it in minutes and shanna was so impressed her husband eric hadn t been able to figure out what was wrong but you took care of it like it was nothing dad s bike got a flat tire and i needed it fixed this past week dad was out of town and i knew i would need your help i ve always been afraid of changing a back tire you helped me get the tire off found the hole showed me how to check the tire for the cause of the hole and we found the tire had a huge crack in it we have an extra bike that we took the tire off of and you manhandled both tires so expertly you knew where to be rough on it and you popped the tire on better and faster than i was doing you love following dad around and tinkering with him and you remember everything you have impressed me so many times with your knowledge of where things are or how to do things when dad is gone and i need help you really are turning into a young man you are a goer you don t like to sit around you have energy to burn and you need to be moving dad said last year at the father son campout you ran with friends for hours around midnight the boys started to calm down and you went to sit on his lap and looked like you were falling asleep but then some boys ran past and you saw them and off you were again playing for a few more hours until dad made you go to bed dad said it was like you put in a second set of batteries a few weeks ago you were out playing until 9 00pm at lucas sherrill s katie texted at around that time asking if you could just stay the night you stayed up and played for awhile yet and stayed over then you and lucas came back to our house and we went mountain biking in the morning when that was over we went to nana s to get the littles and played there a bit after lucas went home you were raring to go still and wanted more friends to come over everybody else needed down time and you were ready for more fun and excitement you are such a good helper you are getting better at being thorough in your chores you know how dad likes things put away and done in the yard and you can take care of so many things you treat logan like a peer and don t have a ton of extra patience for him but you guys have become such good friends over the past two years but you can be so sweet to clara and especially cohen cohen adores you and wants to be with you all the time you have faith in the gospel you aren t a big talker so i don t always know what is going on in your brain but when you share about the gospel you are very matter of fact and you clearly have faith for years you have said you would never serve a mission because you didn t want to miss out on what was going on at home during this past year we have made an effort to share about our missions more and several young men who you admire have gone on or are planning on going on missions during the last year and during this last year you started saying if i go on a mission just a few weeks ago you said when i go you know if i do it has been a neat little transformation to watch we would never force you to go and if you decide not to we will understand but we just didn t want you making that decision as a 9 year old self you always have plenty of things to do with dad dirt biking yard work garage work and tinkering but you and i don t always have a lot to do together last summer we started mountain biking together and it was so fun you would chat with me in the car on the drives to and from and it was the closest i have felt to you in awhile dad and i also read harry potter to you guys this winter and you would snuggle up to me to listen every night and i loved it i am so glad you are still wanting to sit with me and i will take advantage as long as it lasts thanks for being such a good kid dad and i aren t perfect and we are making a lot of our parenting mistakes on you since you are our first to go through so many experiences we are sorry about that we appreciate how resilient you are and we hope that you can keep growing into the awesome young man that you are despite our mistakes we love you so much we are so grateful for the energy and drive you bring into our house thank you for being who you are love mom posted by caitlin s at 5 27 am no comments email this blogthis share to x share to facebook share to pinterest wednesday april 21 2021 to six year old clara oh my baby girl this year has been a rough one even though it has been just over three years since you were diagnosed with nephrotic syndrome this year has been the toughest i had been so optimistic through it all i knew the lord would take care of you i trusted that we would have a best case scenario and that you wouldn t relapse again and then that the first medication after prednisone mycophenolate would work for you then after a year and a half of that working i was sure the next one tacrolimus would work there was a six month period where it was working but then you were complaining about stomach aches a lot last may so i took you in for a blood draw to check your tacro trough levels well they were high we dropped the dose and you started relapsing again and again and again your blood draws showed such inconsistent levels and we were constantly adjusting you have had over 20 blood draws this past year that is probably an underestimate you ended up in the hospital in september because after you started relapsing the prednisone just wasn t working fast enough and you retained too much water they had to give you infusions of albumin and lasix then you kept relapsing so we had to schedule a kidney biopsy in january and then infusions to try the third and final drug available for your condition i was a mess for months leading up to it i have been so worried about it if would work or not and if the these retuxin infusions worked that would mean your immune system would be wiped out its terrifying but what choice did we have you were an emotional mess because of the steroids and the doctors and you were miserable at home we did the infusions in february once a week for four weeks we went in for 10 hour long infusions those days were long and hard on both you and me but the instant the last one was over with it was like a weight had been lifted off your shoulders and your anxiety was gone you were lighter and happier and our household started to get along again you have been in therapy since november too which i think has helped you immensely we did a blood draw a few weeks ago to get a b cell panel done and you have a zero count of b cells that is good news because it means the infusions worked and hopefully you can go 6 18 months without relapsing at the same time i know that b cells are an important part of your immune system and i am sick to my stomach that you had to do this drastic of therapy the good news is though that in march we got covid 19 and you were definitely sicker than the other kids but you still did quite well through it and we just had a cold this past weekend and you were sicker longer than the other kids but you have pulled out it just fine and the best part is that you haven t relapsed it seems as though every time you get sick you relapse and become nephrotic again but not since the infusions i m starting to feel relief for sure you are such a spunky little thing you know your own mind and you aren t afraid to share it it s hard some times but you are so good at communicating that you can explain your position very eloquently and you can listen to other people s sides as well you have a hard time being the only girl you want the boys to play dolls and make up with you and cohen is happy to most of the time but you still wish you had a sister i wish you had one too but you are tough and you love your brothers you got your ears pierced on your birthday you have wanted to for months i am so proud of you you were afraid of the needle and of it hurting and i didn t know if you would go through with it i was a little surprised because i didn t know if you would willing get poked after so many medical pokes but you kept your cool even though i could tell that it hurt and you had some tears forming in your eyes and when you were done you were so excited and i knew that you were proud of yourself i m proud of you too i am so glad i have you your spunk and sass sure add to our life and our family you say the most clever things and make dad and i laugh every day i can t imagine my life without my darling daughter we have so much fun together and i can t wait for all the adventures we will get to do together love mom posted by caitlin s at 1 42 pm no comments email this blogthis share to x share to facebook share to pinterest friday january 8 2021 to eight year old logan you are eight years old today i can hardly believe it you have so so many strengths you are advanced in every subject in school you not only absorb information like a sponge you also mull that information around in your head constantly which means you have such deep thoughts for a kid your age you understand so very much a year ago you were nervous about getting baptized we had talked about it being a serious commitment and i think that made you think twice for about five months you told us that you didn t know if you would get baptized at age 8 maybe you would wait until you were 9 or 10 which we said would be up to you about seven months ago we started reading the lessons in preach my gospel with you in depth you already knew a lot but it was good to take our time and dive deep into each lesson at the end dad challenged you to get baptized and you accepted you really took your time thinking about it and learning and understanding and you finally decided you were ready i am glad you are taking this decision seriously and i am glad you have had several spiritual experiences in the last year that have helped you come to know that god is real and present in your life you are also a huge tease you know just how to push ethan and clara s buttons you love to get a rise out of our family members even dad cohen and i you adore ethan and want to do everything with him you are kind and loving to clara most of the time too when she needs someone to play with you will willing play whatever game she wants to cohen doesn t like to snuggle with you he knows what a tease you are but when he wants some rough housing giggly play he almost always seeks you out to play he thinks you are so fun i feel bad sometimes that you are the middle child ethan gets a lot of attention just because he is the oldest and so the first to do many things clara is our only girl and has her kidney disease which all gives her lots of attention and cohen being the baby gets endless attention from all you kids but also lots of attention from me that he needs sometimes i worry i am not giving you all the attention you need but you are thriving just when i think i am not doing a good job as a parent you will come up and hug me and thank me for being a good mom you are the first to be a peacemaker you are often the first to say sorry or the first to serve you can get angry and mad but you know how to change your attitude around and forgive i am so grateful for what you bring to our family you are one special kid i seriously don t know what i would do without you you ground me and without knowing it you give me strength to face the hard days you have been a light in our life since the day you were born and you continue to bring joy in ways i could have never imagined thank you for being you who you are is so precious to me posted by caitlin s at 1 08 pm no comments email this blogthis share to x share to facebook share to pinterest tuesday september 12 2017 to four year old logan logan oh my you are a goofball you have always been my sweet tender darling boy and then you had to go and turn four and turn into this goofy button pushing giggly boy you love to be chased and you love to be tickled you still have a serious thoughtful side to you but i think that you are getting so comfortable with the world around you that you can be sillier than you ever have been i wanted to write about what a deep thinker you are when you calm down from all your silliness you share with dad and i some pretty amazing thoughts that are swirling around in that little blonde head of yours you re teachers at church just love you technically you should still be a sunbeam but we put you in primary a year early we weren t going to we didn t want to be those parents but you cried every sunday after moving to montana you did not want to go to nursery you have always been uncomfortable around people you don t know well but even after 10 months in the ward you just wouldn t go to nursery without a lot of tears in the month of december before you turned 3 every time we would tell you it was sunday and we had to get ready for church you would break down in tears and scream and cry and tell us that you were not going to church it became so bad i couldn t bear that you hated church at such a young age the primary president knew all about you told us to just move you up to primary early if we thought it would help you i politely declined saying you would be fine but that first sunday in january you cried the most you ever had about getting ready for church it was like you were traumatized so before i could even think i said guess what today you get to go to primary with ethan you stopped crying immediately i do yay you were so excited you threw on your church clothes immediately loved your sunbeam teachers whom you had nev...