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现在的我想追求的, 是生命的自由, 追求一个不被痛苦迷惘束缚的生命, 无论有多困难, 都可以无限地创造幸福的人生, 就是生命的自由, 不管有没有人看到, 都一定要发光发热, 就好像月亮, 无论是否有乌云遮盖, 它都一样地在黑夜里发出温暖的月光, 一定要, 每天都能证明恩师的伟大, 我很享受, 现在的我, 每天都把握能鼓励身边的人的机会, 有我的地方, 一定要有希望, 每天不停地提醒自己, 要把这涌入在我的生命里, 最近领悟到培育后继者的重要, 无论是在鼓笛队里, 还是学会, 今后会从新出发, 一时也会回头望, 看看你有没有出席会议, 果然没有, 真遗憾, 希望你不要再给自己借口, 放弃学会吧, 离开学会, 就是离开幸福的轨道, 昨天在广布第二幕会上, 看着池田先生的video, 感到非常感动, 也很感激, 因为我还在学会里, 我还在会里跟随着池田先生, 和其他的青年一起认真地探讨人生, 但无论如何, 离开你之后, 路真的不好走, 除了自己的情绪以外, 遇到满多想欺骗自己的人, 那时候的我, 一直停留在怀念以前的保护区里, 一直不肯前进, 每天过着以泪洗脸, 失眠的夜晚, 那时候的脸色, 谁都被我吓到, 我一直都有同志们, 姐妹们的支持, seniors, 的指导下, 通过题目, 来overcome所有的fundamental, darkness, 只是昨天参加了很久都没开的青年广布第二幕会, 想起以前不断拼命鼓励你去开这个会, 也不断和你分享开会的喜悦, 希望你也能拥有这份感动和喜悦, 但不能吧, 境堐时而好时坏的你, 有时很抗拒, 所以也很压力吧, 有时在想, 她不是学会人, 也许你会比较自在吧, 你跟她应该过得很好吧, 我不是放不下, 也不是在留念, 我也过得很好, 八个月了, 但也好像是一眨眼的事, 是因为我们变得很不同了, 好像一眨眼, 是因为时间真的过得很快, 有时时间的不留情, 真的可以疗伤, 同时也可以看清自己, 生命的自由, proud, batch, student, lots, kindergarden, everything, seems, chairs, 730am, 130pm, which, assisting, poof, person, gone, happened, loud, oya, tiny, handle, type, 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Text of the page (random words):
he begining of 2011 i chose to travel alone for the very first time to bangkok i ve never left my country on my own it was a very excited trip for me plus abit worries i got to say traveling in a total foreign country on your own this feeling is undescribable it was full of excitements fun curiosity as well as lonesome worried and for me maybe abit of homesick walking around on the street with a back bag was holding a map on my hand and a notepad with all the research i did back home camera on my hand just snap anything that i want along the way i was thinking before i came to bangkok there were friends telling me that it gonna be dangerous to travel alone there told me what would happen to me its not gonna be safe etc but wala i m here despite all these sayings i was finally in bangkok 1st day reached bangkok airport bout 11am took the airport rail link and bts to siam national stadium station didnt book a room in advance was hoping to get a room in lub d last min changed from khao san road to siam crossed fingers luckily i got a bed in female dorm for round rm50 for a nite lub d was definately a nice place clean toilets modern nice n comfortable bed not to forget to mention i gt to on9 usin thier comp anytime for free p that was hw i update myself to my frens in msia thru fb everyday lub d went to siam square and a few other shopping malls around a friend of mine told me that i must try this mos burger when i reach bangkok so basically i was looking for this mos burger that i had no idea where n how it looks like for my lunch just before i wanted to give up looking for it i suddenly saw the restaurant right at the corner i was starving my gosh couldnt wait to have a taste of mos burger since lc highly recommended to me i ordered a ginger pork rice burger it was not that bad it some how reminded me bout my mom s ginger pork meat p this is man yin a close friend of mine back home such an coincidence we were both in the same restaurant at first i saw a bunch of girls sitting a few tables away well that time the place was kinda empty and heard them speaking cantonese i tot they were from hongkong but i heard a familiar voice when i looked at the table to my surprise i saw man yin i called up to her excitedly and she was really shocked to see me as well haha that was my first few hours in bangkok and her last few hours in bangkok be4 goin to the airport what an coincidence dont worry i nv had any of those i definately miss mango stickly rice definately enjoyed shopping over here im nt kidding whole day i could just walked walked walked around all the malls for my chinese new year cloths jacky chan in bangkok went to art gallery in siam absolutely full of creativity places that i went to i really had a good time here definately will come back again for shopping ofcos had great time learning to do things alone esxpecially in a foreign country so what s my next destination p hehe my last dinner in bkk airport last photo be4 off on plane posted by stacey at 9 16 pm 1 comment tuesday january 18 2011 view from the window i always have the time on my own i enjoy sitting in a cafe with my book and a hot tea sitting alone watching people passing by its the best lazy afternoon ever its nice to watch people when i see people walking alone i wonder if they were to enjoy alone time like i do when i see a bunch of friends laughing while hanging around i would think of my friends wonder hw were they doing when i see lovely couples i wonder when was the last time someone held me close like they do when i see parents with kids i wonder how could it be when i d a family when i see elderly couples i wonder how many couples could last forever like them view from the cafe window sometimes i see hope sometimes i see disappointment sometimes it reminds me bout some memories someone said to me that our lives are shaped by people who love us and people who refuse to love us very true but too much voices somehow for now i prefer to plug on with my music totally with my own trying to listen to my own soul someone asked me to moved on i did but i know forgetting doesn t make it all better it just gonna make it hurt again when i remember so im nt gonna force myself to forget i believe time forgets there s happiness out there somewhere i know there is i m just too afraid to look view from the window i wonder when will posted by stacey at 9 50 am no comments friday december 31 2010 1 1 11 1 1 11 2 24am 3 2 1 happy new year id tried to laugh but my laugh was so fake id tried to talk but i was out of topic i was quiet but i just didnt know why i didnt felt like partying or drinking i reached home n i cried again i didnt know what was the reason i guess it was a release for me all these while ive been fighting with my every fear though i was losing balance but i caught myself and no ive been telling ppl that i dont need the help cos i know im not gonna make it till i face it alone yes id cried again so what if i cried im still gonna say im alright and continue moving forward i dont wanna breakdown i wont let myself to fall there s no one to catch me i ll have to spread my wings and try harder i ll run harder to find a shelter from the rain i be a healer for my pain this is a crazy world it can be lonely at times but who can i really trust who can make me feel less alone i dont dare to think bout it again i dont wanna have to hold someone s hand i just wanna be the girl i used to be when i was me and worry free but i still believe maybe there s reason why all the doors are closed like katty perry s fireworks lyrics so you can open one that leads you to the perfect road i ll just have to keep on running running and running its always been my hardest part but im gonna stay in control i admit that this is getting hard but im gonna get there by my own i ll smile again when you see me whoever you are posted by stacey at 12 13 pm no comments wednesday december 1 2010 sorry eeee why didnt you pick up calls fren sorry i was in the middle of class me ok what are you doin tonight free for a drink fren sorry having extra practice tonight in cheras me ooo how bout tomorrow then just a quick one fren hmmm sorry i guess not gonna have meeting tomorrow night after class me i see wow u re so bz how bout thurs fren errr actually thurs night having another extra practice before friday night s final rehearsal and i bet saturday have to be in band for whole day as well then sunday perform me omg you re crazy ok how bout 7th of dec its a public holiday fren wait 7th sound so familiar wait i check my calender awhile ahhh so sorry that day we gonna have combine section with klang members another extra practice on holiday me fren lol i am so sorry my friends brothers and sisters i seriously felt bad when i had to reject you guys but i find this conversation last nite on the phone quite funny my friend driver for the day was literally laughing when he heard our conversation man i was sooo damn pack didnt even have time to yamcha specially with my assignments as well im so sorry especially t i k m j g h kv l wk sometimes lc yw mt ss c i have school works to catch up but definately i ll try my best to catch up with u guys soon when im free thx for all the concerns i m doing fine although bz tired n nt enough sleeps im doing good and will be better im striving harder now becos ive realised that im not giving my best yet so gambate too ppl cos im not gonna give up luv u guys always posted by stacey at 1 41 am no comments friday november 19 2010 writing my story its nearly 3 in the morning now and im still awake suddenly felt like writing blog again its been awhile since the last time i updated my blog been looking back these few months n ofcos the broke up i am so glad that i m happier now i am so thankful that ppl around me are giving me so much support care and love you guys made me worth loving was once so blind in love i should see earlier that you were never good for me but i guess its never too late to realize after all i guess its really over and im finally getting better still rmb how my mates were telling me it was not worth it i shouldnt cry for him i guess i didnt really cry for him i cried for myself becos id allowed him to take me for granted i cried becos i had underestimate myself for not loving myself enough and for letting him to stepped on my self esteem again and again i was so weak slapped me right on my face was a good one so that i could wake up and open up my eyes thank you for walking away from me whenever you wanted and there was nothing i could say more than you ever know i think im really better off without you so if i seem a little bit cold it only means that you ve lost the hold you had on me enough is enough i guess i could understand this very well already i love my family and friends even more now because they are the one who always by ur side when you are lost and down yw lc thx for accompany me during my most difficult period i will rmb u guys and i will nv leave u guys behind when you guys have problems and j t and s u guys were awesome as well t u are full of yi hei and j the philosopher p and ofcos my comrades and sisters i am just so lucky to have all of you by my side transformation ive tried alot of new things that i tot i didnt like it like paintball skytrex jungle tracking gym and more coming i love it i love it all i enjoy meeting new ppl doing new things looking for new experience d tell u a secret p gonna start learning dancing very soon weeeee this is what i always wanted besides music i love to dance i think i love dancing more than music but nt gonna tell my parents that i gonna take dance lessen becos they dont really like it again wwweeeeeee i love every moment of now i am writing the story of my life one moment at the time so lets enjoy the beauty of now posted by stacey at 12 05 pm no comments thursday march 25 2010 my days in tadika seri soka tadika seri soka im proud to be the first batch student this place really reminds me lots of my kindergarden precious moment haha but everything seems to be so small now small chairs small tables toilets its good to be back for good i decided to go back to contribute because i heard that they re really short of ppl in tadika and im now having holiday til may before i start my course so why not everyday 730am to 130pm at first i was like wow first day of work lol other teachers were very very busy i was told which class i will be assisting then poof the person was gone and i was alone so happened that i saw this small boy crying very loud oya all the kids are really tiny over there like handle with care type so i walked up to him i introduced myself and asked him what happen he was crying at the same time telling me something very very long but i couldnt understand i tried to tell him its alright be good boy dont cry and hug him when the class started teacher lindy my class s eng teacher called him and asked me to bring him to class ooo this boy is in my class bunga daisi hahaha then throughout that whole day he kept following me very manja everyday the kids end class at 12pm then after the hug hug bye bye with the kids i have to rush to the girls toilet there are groups of 4 to 6 years old girls will be staying back for day care so we have to bath them p haha ofcos we have 2 aunties to shower the girls me and another teacher just to monitor them help them to dry the hair wear cloths sometimes wow this s really something i nv did before they are mostly so called bit out of control kids are here for day care cos some of them are very notty maybe its because they re lack of love parents busy working or too manja according to the teacher while monitoring the girls she said that kids that stay back for day care everyday they re getting better cos they have friends teachers to guide them the first week i was really not used to it because taking care of kids you really need alot of energy many of my friends were very shock when i told them that i m helping in tadika in cheras so far and it a voluntary work what no pay haha they said why not just get a job with salary why so stupid and stuff well i guess they just don t understand life s great when you can find something that you can contribute to ppl society in this busy city when we are all fighting hard for our own stuff only dont you feel tired it might seem stupid to be such selfless or so unrealistic but is it true how can you tell if you never try before you said it through your own experiece or by following what other ppl saying and thinking yes its tiring no money but i gain more in the end at first i was just thinking to contribute there since i have time and its tadika seri soka man i used to study there but now after working for few weeks there i realised that everyday over there is a challenge for me everyday im dealing with the kids and everyday they are actually training my character as a human right here the teachers don t beat or scold the kids if some of them really out of control like hit other kids make other kids cry dont wanna share their toys snatch ppl s things don t listen to teachers and etc teachers will only bring them to another side talk to them maybe at the begining scold but sure will talk to them as in dialogue with the kids here i see the respect for kids from the adults teachers i think its becos our founder of tadika seri soka daisaku ikeda holds the same principle too for ppl so now im doing the same thing too i dialogue with the problematic kids ppl might think its hard to talk to them or doubt that will they ever understand what you say but they do understand they will slowly change even they are only 4 years old my class but ofcos this need everyday s effort i ve learnt alot and i m learning more polishing myself everyday wish me luck with the kids and i will continue to gambate fighto posted by stacey at 9 11 am 3 comments sunday march 7 2010 生命的自由 八个月了 好像过了很久 但也好像是一眨眼的事 好像过了很久 是因为我们变得很不同了 好像一眨眼 是因为时间真的过得很快 有时时间的不留情 真的可以疗伤 同时也可以看清自己 觉得 你跟她应该过得很好吧 放心 我不是放不下 也不是在留念 我也过得很好 只是昨天参加了很久都没开的青年广布第二幕会 想起以前不断拼命鼓励你去开这个会 也不断和你分享开会的喜悦 希望你也能拥有这份感动和喜悦 但不能吧 境堐时而好时坏的你 有时很抗拒 所以也很压力吧 有时在想 她不是学会人 也许你会比较自在吧 但无论如何 离开你之后 路真的不好走 除了自己的情绪以外 遇到满多想欺骗自己的人 那时候的我 一直停留在怀念以前的保护区里 一直不肯前进 每天过着以泪洗脸 失眠的夜晚 那时候的脸色 谁都被我吓到 幸好 我一直都有同志们 姐妹们的支持 seniors 的指导下 通过题目 来overcome所有的fundamental darkness 昨天在广布第二幕会上 看着池田先生的video 感到非常感动 也很感激 因为我还在学会里 我还在会里跟随着池田先生 和其他的青年一起认真地探讨人生 一时也会回头望 看看你有没有出席会议 果然没有 真遗憾 希望你不要再给自己借口 放弃学会吧 离开学会 就是离开幸福的轨道 我很享受 现在的我 每天都把握能鼓励身边的人的机会 有我的地方 一定要有希望 每天不停地提醒自己 要把这涌入在我的生命里 最近领悟到培育后继者的重要 无论是在鼓笛队里 还是学会 今后会从新出发 我 一定要 每天都能证明恩师的伟大 不管有没有人看到 都一定要发光发热 就好像月亮 无论是否有乌云遮盖 它都一样地在黑夜里发出温暖的月光 现在的我想追求的 是生命的自由 追求一个不被痛苦迷惘束缚的生命 无论有多困难 都可以无限地创造幸福的人生 这 就是生命的自由 posted by stacey at 4 59 am no comments older posts home subscribe to posts atom muzicons music widget with emotion if you remain sincere in your interactions with others you will naturally come to find yourself surrounded by good friends remember the days we sat together and happily chat about our dr...