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and after the holocaust previous entries can be found on this site under the titles only the first four hurt parts i ii iii iv v after the sanitorium i think they offered us to go to switzerland or palestine or back to our homes i decided to go back to hungary because i didn t know who frommy family was alive or not while in the sanitorium i don t know how but a cousin from my mother s side visited me and asked if i was tibor klein i said yeah and he told me who he was he told me my brother sandy and my sister berjie were alive and that he had let them know i was alive there was no transportation to hungary so we took cargo trains from one station to the next to get there i was with other people and i just followed them when i got close to our hometown station matisakov there were no more trains left to take so from there a local farmer who recognized me or heard about me or something took me by horse and wagon back to the town with the synagogue okorito that s where my brother sandy and sister berjie were staying because in our town there was nothing left to go back to it was very close by but the hungarian government had taken over all the jewish homes in our town i got to where berjie and sandy were they were alive living with a jewish family and with other young people from the area there were about 5 people living in the same house i remember being happy to see them and i remember the reunion being very happy but i found out that not all of my siblings or my parents or grandparents were there my sister barbara was in bergen belsen we didn t know that at the time but she wasn t with the others one thing i noticed when i got there was that berjie and sandy and the young people who had come home from the camps were all living like there was no tomorrow dancing drinking celebrating like well i guess like any normal person would but it depressed me irving pauses here and his face crumbles he is sobbing i couldn t comprehend it all what was there to celebrate i came home and it was the end of 1945 and sandy was already 21 years old and he was a business man supporting himself but i was 16 without education without parents and i was very depressed so for a couple of months i stayed at home doing nothing the russians were in power in hungary and they forced all hungarians to put in weekly work allotments for the russian army sandy sent me to do some of his days to keep me busy but after a couple of weeks when he saw there was no education future work or income for me he sent me to a relative in budapest the idea was for me to help out in the cousin s vegetable store and support myself or learn something sandy himself was in the trade business if someone needed money and wanted to sell say a ring sandy would buy and re sell it for profit later he bought land and a home there in hungary bergie stayed at home doing nothing sandy also decided to change our family name during these years from klein to kutas because he thought klein was too jewish sounding the russians were as bad as the hungarians and there was still a lot of anti semitism so he was trying to stay safe i went to budapest and worked in my uncle s vegetable store for pay we got up at 4 a m to go to wholesale places pick up cases of fruit vegetables for the store and then he had big deliveries at a couple of catholic institutions and at a home for children my uncle a beautiful wife and a small child but he and his wife didn t get along he didn t want me at home around his wife while he was out at work so he took me to eat at the catholic children s home every day their son who was two or three back then in 1946 became a famous singer in hungary when he got older i helped him a lot and he took care of me but there was no future in the work and he didn t like taking me to the catholic institution every day he asked me if i wanted to join a zionist jewish children s home at the time i didn t know what zionist meant he said i could try it and if i didn t like it i could leave so i moved into the children s home in budapest it was shomer ha tzaeer and i got a very very warm welcome after a day or two i felt at home and i decided to stay from there i decided hungary s not for me anymore and that i would move to israel the home was all young people my age 15 20 years old there were girls and boys we studied worked and whatever money we earned went back to the home jewish people would come and ask for different handy people to come do jobs so we went out to different work places i worked in a jewelry factory making metal items and jewelry for a long time i polished and crafted metal we basically went wherever they sent us the money we earned went into buying our clothing and food the idea of the home was to convince us that zionism is the future of the jewish people and for me that s what happened i ask him about god did he believe in some sort of god did he feel god had a hand in the holocaust or in his fate specifically when i got out of the camp i had a lot of questions in my mind about god like how could it have happened all of it i have no question that god saw to it that i made it through and that i got out or that hundreds and hundreds of times i was saved and that i managed to stay alive after the camps when i came home and saw that my grandparents and none of my relatives had come back i questioned how all of this could have happened if a god exists and i spent time questioning but after a while it my belief came back i always believe comments 5 2010 in review january 2 2011 filed under uncategorized stefanella 8 43 am the stats helper monkeys at wordpress com mulled over how this blog did in 2010 and here s a high level summary of its overall blog health the blog health o meter reads wow crunchy numbers the average container ship can carry about 4 500 containers this blog was viewed about 20 000 times in 2010 if each view were a shipping container your blog would have filled about 4 fully loaded ships in 2010 there were 13 new posts growing the total archive of this blog to 541 posts there were 25 pictures uploaded taking up a total of 11mb that s about 2 pictures per month the busiest day of the year was october 4th with 239 views the most popular post that day was only the first four hurt part v where did they come from the top referring sites in 2010 were facebook com rpc blogrolling com stefanella blogspot com igoogledisrael com and twitter com some visitors came searching mostly for auschwitz catamaran gogos heroin chic and oh the places you ll go attractions in 2010 these are the posts and pages that got the most views in 2010 1 only the first four hurt part v october 2010 2 comments 2 the aging woman and the sea october 2005 4 comments 3 boys toys february 2010 4 comments 4 heroin not chic august 2009 2 comments 5 fun with science july 2007 2 comments leave a comment trashy december 19 2010 filed under climate contemporary culture crime environment help humor international appeal israel life nature news omg quirky torture true to life violence stefanella 3 58 pm tags cute death drunk gangs good looking hunk israel landfill pub recycle tel aviv tourism trash victim violence while out covering a story today i heard a must share anecdote background the locale was tel aviv s landfill not the most pleasant of surroundings admittedly but one eventually adjusts to the pervasive odor generated by multiple tons of trash i was interviewing the head of tel aviv s recycle renewable energy site at the landfill and as we watched tons of plastic bags bottles cartons containers and the like empty onto conveyor belts aided by municipal employees i commented god i ll bet you ve had some nasty accidents here with people falling into the compactors the head of the recycle plant nodded his head vigorously and replied i could tell you some stories go on then let s hear i replied and this is how it went a few years ago the trash conveyor belt recycle line employees came banging on his office door in panic there s a baby in the compactor there s a baby in the compactor he ordered an immediate machine shut down and then ran to the area to investigate sure enough there was an arm sticking out of the trash compactor heap but it clearly wasn t a baby s he explained someone called out in hebrew come out of there but there was no response then in russian nothing arabic still nothing amharic nada then someone yelled get out of there in yiddish and a reply in german came from inside the heap no i m not coming out i m naked the men gathered some clothing together and coaxed the man out he then told his story a german tourist he had gotten drunk in a tel aviv pub the night prior and en route back to his hotel was accosted beaten up robbed stripped and then tossed into a dumpster the trash assembly line crew discovered him moments before he was headed into the crusher they summoned an ambulance and police and when the medics arrived one of the women commented he s awfully good looking shame about the smell divine intervention more leave a comment only the first four hurt part v october 3 2010 filed under conflict crime death holocaust political religion torture war stefanella 1 12 pm tags auschwitz concentration camp death march england holocaust jews murder nazi red cross russia ss u s wwii this is the fifth part in a series documenting my uncle irving s account of his personal and family history during and after the holocaust previous entries include only the first four hurt only the first four hurt part ii only the first four hurt part iii and only the first four hurt part iv slf we had bunks and i don t remember who was next to me or who was my neighbor we were all in our private worlds trying to survive that s what we thought about all day long i remember one guy who was with me in auschwitz from the town i came from i didn t even know he was there in the camp but he must ve known that i was there because one day we each got a small piece of bread every day to eat it wasn t really bread it was made of sawdust every person got half a loaf of those sawdust breads every day a few months into being in the camp this man from my town came to me with half a loaf and said take this i can t eat anymore maybe it ll help you maybe he knew something i didn t i never saw him again there are a lot of things you try to push away irving s face crumbled he bowed his head and with shoulders heaving with sobs he divulged all these years i tried to black all this out for me it was natural that s why i m breaking down now for me it was always natural he continued sobbing quietly and then he wiped his face with one of the white paper napkins on the table and pressed on things continued like that until february 1945 the russians were coming close to the camp of course we didn t know that but the germans decided to clear out the camp and sent us marching i don t know how many days we marched in the snow and rain without food but if anyone fell they were shot dead on the spot irving was referring to the death marches as russian troops advanced from the east and u s british troops approached from the west a panicked german army attempted to clear out concentration camps and erase evidence of the atrocities committed within by marching camp prisoners to remote locations lacking food water or insulation from the freezing cold scores of already weakened and ill prisoners died en route after walking many days without food or water we got to a camp it wasn t a camp but that s what they called it it was a forest called gunzkrhin and i remember that when we walked into this forest area dead bodies were piled one on top of each other as high as a building i fainted and from that point i don t remember any more until i have no idea how long i was unconscious but it must have been a very long time the next thing i remember is that one day the army the ss army came in and they were passing out food gift packages to everybody with drinks and food and bread and chocolate and i don t remember what else nobody could believe they were doing that we thought they just wanted to bribe us before killing us the red cross came in the same day to see how they were treating the prisoners then it was clear why they were feeding us i don t remember if i ate anything but i lost consciousness again i do remember that whoever stayed alive irving trailed off here crying quietly most people died there were only a few hundred of us left that were even able to move anymore the next thing i remember is that the germans disappeared people were laughing and screaming saying that the americans had come i was in and out of consciousness but i remember them yelling and screaming that the americans had liberated us the americans were passing out food and feeding people but whoever ate dropped dead i wasn t strong enough to eat or get up onto my feet i guess i was just lying on the ground i was lucky when liberating concentration camp survivors unknowing soldiers offered food to the starving victims the sudden onslaught of solid nourishment was such an overwhelming shock to survivors systems that many died of food overdose i remember the american soldiers had taken ss as p o w s and they were helping to feed us after people died from the food they sent ss people with porridge and very light food to eat i was there for two days then i was taken to a sanitorium in lindz austria at an american army camp i was unconscious and i woke up in the sanitorium a month or maybe a few weeks later i don t have an exact recollection of time but at the beginning may or something similar they took me to a recovery place that s when i got my mental faculties and consciousness back he indicated tapping his head we were there until they got ready to send people who had stayed alive off to different places some of the long time of blackout from the time i was in the field to the time i was taken to the sanitorium i was unconscious sometimes today i try to remember things like the day before the red cross visited us when the germans gave us those nice things i also try not to remember other things but there must have been a time lapse from the time the ss left the forest to when the americans came in i ll tell you why i was weak but i left the camp with one of the boys and found a dead horse in the town where normal germans lived we decided to cook the head for ourselves i remember this and the horse very clearly but then i don t remember all of it maybe it was a delirious nightmare off to the side my aunt babe had been listening she signaled and shook her head no hallucination she said looking at irving there s no way you would have had the strength to go into town and get a horse and cook it but i do remember waking up and discovering that the ss were working for the americans comments 4 only the first four hurt part iv august 20 2010 filed under uncategorized stefanella 6 28 pm tags auschwitz beating death genocide gusen ii holocaust jews mauthausen nazis pris...