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stop the infertility skip to main skip to sidebar stop the infertility thursday may 3 2007 whadya mean it s been a whole month i have to admit i m surprised to find that it s been a whole month since my last blog post if anyone is out there and still reading thanks for following along even when i apparently abandoned my own blog so what have i been up to well i made it through tax season in one piece which is always a good thing also i just got back from my baha mavention trip yesterday hubby stayed home and i went with my aunt and cousins and we had a blast there was lots of rum and sun to be had it was exactly what i needed after a very stressful few months we pretty much lazed around like beached whales the whole time swimming sunning and of course drinking fun and fruity tropical drinks af still hasn t come but then again i still haven t picked up my provera yet oops hubby and i still haven t had the talk yet about what we re going to do as far as proceeding with if treatments it didn t help that a few days before i left for my trip we got a bill in the mail for all the wanding and blood draws gulp the lord must work in mysterious ways since apparently it wasn t enough that i was stimming for 3 weeks had to go in almost daily for blood draws and get a long stick shoved up my vajayjay and had the whole thing cancelled because in addition to all that fun we got a nice little bill of 4000 which my insurance is most likely not going to cover so because of that cost we really need to reevaluate what our next step is going to be part of me wants to do another injectible cycle right away but the other part of me wants to wait till we get a little more money in the bank and pay off this bill it really stinks that throughout this whole 3 year ordeal we still don t feel like we ve really tried for a baby between me not ovulating the clomid not working and having to cancel our first injectibles cycle it feels like we ve been playing double dutch this whole time waiting for the right time to jump in so here we are still yet again waiting posted by princess barren at 9 28 am 2 comments labels bahamas bills tuesday april 3 2007 i know i know i ve been a crappy blog buddy and there s absolutely no reason for it well except for work remodeling yada yada yada i guess i kind of feel like i have nothing to say while i m in ttc limbo i don t know why but i m even procrastinating with that i m supposed to take provera then after af comes take bc pills for a month but i still haven t even called in the prescriptions that were called in before i left for flo rida i m trying to time it so that i won t have af when i m in the ba hamas at the end of the month but instead of trying to figure out the timing i guess it s been easier for me just to ignore it maybe i m scared of having another cancelled cycle or maybe the idea of the nightly needle poking isn t so appealing the second time around who knows i know i have to get this cycle started but something just keeps holding me back hopefully i snap out of it whatever it is anyway i had a great time on vacation it was short but much appreciated and i got a tan which is always a good thing nothing spectacular happened while i was there oh except for the little boy who was in the bathroom with his mother he comes up to me and says you can t go on the jaws ride since you have a baby in your belly great just what i needed i wanted to scream laugh and cry all at once while i was embarrassed the kid thought i was pregnant i ll admit that i wanted more than anything at that moment for him to be right of course the pg test i took afterwards failed me as it always does and blared a big fat negative line in it s usual harsh way posted by princess barren at 11 57 am 3 comments labels bfn orlando tuesday march 20 2007 dum de dum not much going on in these parts sorry for not updating work has been hella busy and i ve been trying to get ready for my trip in 2 days the re s office called they want me to take pro vera to bring on af then take 4 weeks of active birth control pills when i get af after the pills i ll start the injectibles again it seems kind of odd to take bc pills when i m trying to get pregnant but whatever it just pisses me off that i wasted all that money on birth control for so many years trying not to get pregnant anyway i m kind of glad about taking the little break since i m going to or lando this week and the ba hamas next month bahamavention anyone it ll be nice to be able to drink myself into oblivion without having to worry about bringing my foll istim pen with me to the pool bar although if you think about it it d be a good conversation piece or they d think i was shooting up heroin in public so maybe that s not a good idea on a happier note my new obsession tanning i know it s horrible for me and i m going to get skin cancer and all that but i just love the feeling of being all warm and fuzzy after 10 minutes in a tanning bed i ve been going twice a week now which is just enough to give me a light glow and get rid of that cursed seasonal affective disorder plus as a wise person once told me tan fat looks much better than white fat posted by princess barren at 7 52 am 3 comments labels birth control injectibles tanning monday march 12 2007 i ve been benched after going to the re s every day since thursday the doctor decided to cancel the cycle i have 11 measurable follicles 2 over 15 and 2 over 14 the rest are all around 12 plus my e2 was around 750 i tried to convince them otherwise but they don t want to take the chance that i get pg with quads when the nurse called and told me yesterday i started crying on the phone felt like an ass especially since i knew it was a possibility they would cancel the nurse said it wasn t a wasted cycle since now they know how my body responds to the meds still it makes me feel like the past 3 weeks of injections and worry and waiting were all for nothing yes there s a possibility i could get pregnant with 4 babies but there s also the chance i won t get pregnant at all how do we know unless we try i met a friend of mine for lunch and retail therapy yesterday afternoon couldn t have come at a better time and i told her it s like i ve been benched without even getting to try out for the team on the brightside i guess this means that now i can drink when we go to orlan do next week i told hubby to prop me up next to the pool bar and i ll be fine posted by princess barren at 4 44 pm 3 comments labels cycles injectibles quads thursday march 8 2007 note to my ovaries e2 is up to 113 lining is at 15 mm but follies are still around 7 5 dammit dr g says it s normal for women with pcos to take longer to have their follicles mature so they gave me 1500 units more of folli stim and they re keeping me at the 225 iu dose i m leaving for florida in 2 weeks so if at least one of my follies isn t up to 12mm they re cancelling the cycle because they won t be able to monitor me there that would be just my luck stabbing myself with needles for 3 freakin weeks all for nothing we ll see what happens in the meantime here s a note to my ovaries listen you little fuckers i understand that you may be hibernating for the winter but come on i ve been pumping you with folli stim every night for the past 17 days and you give me nothing stop being lazy and produce some decent follicles already if i could trade you in i would you re useless just floating around in there doing nothing i m thisclose to getting a hysterectomy and saying fuck it to you and your evil ways what did i ever do to you that s all posted by princess barren at 7 49 am 2 comments labels follistim ovaries tuesday march 6 2007 damn you unmeasurable follicles still no measurable follicles i have a bunch of small ones but they re all under 10mm little fuckers and my e2 isn t going anywhere so for the past two days they ve bumped me up to 225 iu god i hope it works i ll know tomorrow when i go to the re and get a u s and bloodwork if it doesn t i don t know what i m going to do not sure if the doc has more foll istim to give me and i really can t afford to buy it since insurance covers squat for if did i mention i m going to orlando in 16 days i m excited even though it s only for 4 days so given my uncooperating follicles f ed up timing that means 1 of 2 things i ll either still be stimming in which case i ll be pretty close to slicing my wrists or in the 2ww bring on the margarita s not at this point i m hoping it s the latter it makes me wonder how long will they allow me to stim before they pull the plug do they just keep trying until one of the follies decides to pop what if it never happens and i have to keep stabbing myself with needles for all eternity these are the questions that keep me up at night posted by princess barren at 5 17 pm 3 comments labels follicles follistim orlando wednesday february 28 2007 the green eyed monster i found out today that a girl on a forum i frequent is pg we got married on the same day and she and her husband started trying a few months ago i should be happy for her and tell her how lucky she is but i can t bring myself to do it ignoring her seems so childish but at this point in time it s the only thing i can think of i should email and let her know happy i am for her but i m worried it ll come out something like this dear jane who the hell do you think you are getting pregnant yesterday you said you weren t even sure you were ready to ttc and now all of a sudden you re ecstatic about your impending arrival you don t deserve a baby you whorish witch rot in hell pb so now you see why ignoring her is a much better option than sending the flaming email above i m sure i would rot in hell if i sent that but just writing it seems to be therapy enough yesterday i had my u s and bloodwork still no measurable follicles there weren t any sunday either so they upped my foll istim to 112 iu i have to go back tomorrow to get more meds from dr g and friday is my next u s posted by princess barren at 1 02 pm 5 comments labels jealousy older posts home subscribe to posts atom blog archive 2007 13 may 1 whadya mean it s been a whole month april 1 march 4 february 7 about me princess barren dh and i have been trying for baby number 1 for almost 3 years with no luck we are the proud parents of a fluffy wonder dog named peanut but she s not fond of baby clothes so we keep trying for a human baby although i consider getting knocked up a job i pay the bills by working at a mutual fund company view my complete profile