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Text of the page (random words):
e front desk elevator hallway we walked into her room there was my mom and my nephew playing cards my dad and genine her husband had gone to put some of her things from her extended stay in the car yep there she was with her sweet smile and hoarse little laugh both stunned and unflappable at the same time bravest girl that ever walked this planet anyway we had some time together cheryl said let me leave you guys alone and mom said don t be silly you re family truer words were never spoken if she hadn t been family before that night she certainly was after i m not sure how much you know about transplants but you don t know if they are really happening until the last minutes a lot has to fall into place for it to actually go down so as we were visiting we literally did not know if she was going in for the biggest surgery of her life or if it was a false alarm at the time the latter seemed the cruelest we were getting conflicting reports they weren t sure if it was happening there was confusion amongst the nurses phone calls and raised voices all of them fiercely protective of genine i can say in confidence she was the favorite of everyone who ever cared for her then they decided to prep her even tho we still didn t know if it was happening the heart was en route so they rolled her on out of that room the only thing we knew about the heart by the way was that she had to sign off on it because at some point the previous owner that s not a medical term had been incarcerated we joked about genine coming out more of a badass then she already was complete with tats ready to kick some ass we joked but we were scared and it was written all over our faces randy oh randy was this big tall beautiful black man that had been waiting on genine s floor for a heart and a liver for a year part of what determines transplants is size we had heard all about randy from genine they had become fast friends anyway randy had come into the hall to wish her luck and saw our terrible poker faces and said this is a good thing a really good thing as he flashed his pearly whites a smile and sentiment i will hold onto forever p s we found out months later as genine was still battling in the hospital that randy got a heart and a liver and as far as we know is home a new man yay i don t really want to write much about being in the prep room and saying goodbye except for the lovely nurse who had heard about genine from the other staff she goes everyone is all like she s soooo niiiiice and i m like i need her medical history ha typical nicest ever so we went to the waiting room still not knowing if it was happening for probably yeesh it seemed like an eternity but maybe 20 minutes it s maybe around 8 30 pm at this point and then the nurse came running out in scrubs and looked at my mom and gave two thumbs up it s a go and she vanished through the steel doors and for one of the only times in my life i witnessed my mother lose composure and it was brief man it was brief she simply hugged me so hard at that moment and breathed a very short lived sigh of relief that she must have been carrying around with her for 45 years and said what a long road it s been then she quickly wiped away her tears and we ordered pizza and then we waited and waited and we said i can t believe she got a heart and waited and ate some snacks it was like the movies where they show the clock ticking on the wall except without the part where the clock keeps skipping forward an hour or two as time went on tensions ran higher all the while with the same news headlines on repeat until about 1 am when the news announced that david bowie had died we watched as they showed people holding vigil at his apartment a mere subway ride away we had a laugh later on that we should have gone we had time we just didn t know it what was supposed to be a 5 6 hour surgery lasted 12 all in it was 10 before anyone came to tell us what was going on literally zero information my poor mother it was a sunday night and eerily quiet no hospital staff to be found just other people like us waiting trying to sleep with their uncomfortable thoughts in their uncomfortable chairs ugh genine loved david bowie we wouldn t tell her when she woke up she would be too sad then finally he emerged the brilliant pediatric heart surgeon who had operated on my sister for 10 hours the man who had taken her very own damaged heart out of her body and replaced it with someone else s a new healthier heart i m still in awe that any of this is possible he was brief he was tired saving lives is exhausting he said it was complicated there was bleeding but it had gone well we could move downstairs to another waiting room while they closed her up we couldn t even what was happening a new heart sigh it was another 2 hours of waiting in that waiting room the same headlines on the news playing again and again late breaking news david bowie has died we were like ummm that s hardly late breaking news at around 7 am there was finally life in the hospital business as usual it was bizarre again like the movies like a flip of a switch time had frozen and now was unfrozen while people had slept soundly through the night david bowie had died and genine got a new heart nbd a bustling monday morning in one of new york city s largest hospitals we walked to the cafeteria to get coffee and i almost got run over like a hundred times my sleep deprived self was no match for this crowd i was no match for any of this what came next is too much to write too much to share tonight on the one year anniversary of the night david bowie died perhaps too much to hold onto for the rest of my years and now the night of obama s farewell speech coincidence i think not the audacity of hope things really went to hell in a handbasket in a year didn t they but i ll tell you one more thing about january 10th leading into the 11th of 2016 i ve had the song heroes stuck in my head pretty much ever since i still believe in heroes we just have to believe in heroes www organdonor gov rip david bowie 1 10 2016 rip genine zavala 4 16 2016 posted by sarah at 8 47 pm 5 comments distractions connections my favorite distraction these last few months has been you guessed it beautycounter followed by in no particular order george ray donovan pizza ambien the fat jew looloo martinis horseface and odd mom out at the risk of sounding dramatic beautycounter has saved me i know many people think it s makeup insert eye roll what the eff is she talking about i m here to tell you it s more peeps it s a movement it s a cause it s about progress and health and well being it s about moving forward it s about making things better i had no idea when i joined this company in march 2015 that it would have the impact on my life that it has i obviously didn t predict many things coming down the pike certainly not a trip to capital hill to have the laws changed bananas experience incredible perspective boom jefferson was on to something for me it s also about connection i m desperate for it and i believe it is essential in our lives to recognize and nurture the connections we have to each other and special times and places i d be lost if i didn t do this besides the obvious connecting with old friends new friends alike via bc there s more creepster coincidence 1 during my wedding planning long before pinterest and style me pretty i carried one particular wedding ripped out of a martha stewart frayed edges and all with me to all of my vendor meetings i was smitten with the square tables and pops of green guess who s it was gregg renfrew s from the year 2000 yep total creepster creepster coincidence 2 my obsession with bono began in the 5th grade about 3 decades ago yikes my brother and sister were grounded long but amusing story that actually made the cut at genine s memorial and my parents poured salt in the wound by bringing me and my best friend jenny nichols to the u2 joshua tree tour at the hartford civic center i remember as we were leaving the house that night i was pretty bummed to miss the cosby show i mean it was a thursday night in 1987 the thursday night nbc line up was pretty much everything so i learned an important lesson early to always welcome the chance for a unique experience even during a really good tv show especially now that there is dvr and on demand being 4 feet tall the crowd supported us as we stood on our seats in awe of thousands of lighters ablaze we exited the stadium to the masses singing 40 we walked and sang for what seems like an eternity it was mind blowing as an 11 year old and my heart actually aches with nostalgia when i just listened to this rendition sigh anyways my bono emotions run deep and throw it on the list of what makes me love beautycounter he just joined forces with the company in may read about the nude acquisition here creepster coincidence 3 the first pop up store opening on nantucket this summer i live for this place in my happy place so much so i spent my 40th birthday there and now the biggest of all the target collab seriously though i ve probably spent more time in a target over the last 8 years than my bed this is big even vogue agrees september 2016 issue page 590 so are we selling out not so much quite the opposite actually we are putting our money where our mouth is making a significant impact by reaching 65 million new people with this brilliant 9 week limited partnership first and foremost educating about our mission to get safe products into the hands of everyone please take a moment to learn about it here my daughters are so proud of this accomplishment and yes i haven t mentioned them yet in this post they are clearly my very favorite distraction they are not a creepy coincidence but they are my why i hope you all have the best distractions in your life this fall and always and if anyone is looking for me on september 12th i ll be at target with bono and gregg planning our next trip to nantucket should we wear our wedding dresses if you should want to join us we d love to have you i will sing sing a new song posted by sarah at 10 36 am no comments the post i never wanted to write i haven t written in a few months because i ve been quite busy putting one foot in front of the other and i ve been scared terrified really that i will completely botch this the blog post i hoped and prayed that i never would have to write i don t know how to honor my sister who passed away 4 months ago today every night and most days the thoughts flood my mind and i know i must write yet i know whatever my feeble fingers type will not be enough that they will not even begin to explain this beautiful soul i know i am failing her with every typed word but knowing her she s already forgiven me it would be impossible to explain her indomitable spirit her courage patience her sense of humor in the midst of the worst of times her one liners imperfectly yet perfectly timed her effortless way of being a good person because when you aren t trying to impress anyone or be anything but your true self you just are so authentic it hurts so real it seems it can t be real but man was she real her surgery in january filled all of our beings with so much hope we could barely stand it know this about genine she was the last to give up hope she would have suffered 10 more years in a hospital bed if it meant one more day watching her son play baseball it s also a fine line on what my family needs to hold close and private and not share with the world about that time that day and what i feel my people should know especially those who sent cards flowers showed up at her memorial generously donated to her gofundme gave hugs at the right time and didn t give hugs at the wrong time those who have learned to tread lightly while desperately trying to carry the burden i write this as a thank you to all of you for the doctors and nurses who got too close because it was impossible not to for our family friend and reverend alan who memorialized her so intimately on april 30th her presence was palpable at that lighthouse a beacon a sign she was off to someplace better without pain and to priscilla who sang leaving on a jet plane for one more verse the verse that let us weep mourn the way we needed to do at that moment for her best friend who brought snacks lots of snacks to the hospital and held all of our hands when we needed it especially genine s and for my best friend who has taught me to feel the feelings and has felt them with me and also for me when i just can t for vic and his daughters for being there when they could i write for horseface who doesn t know how to make it better but tries my aunts uncles and extended family who visited the hospital on christmas eve dressed as santa and flew from alaska to say goodbye and so many gestures inbetween for my brother who is stuck with the bratty little sister and is missing his partner in crime every day for my daughters who didn t get to spend enough time with their auntie genine i don t know how i will ever make that up to them for my brother in law who proved his love for genine in her last 4 months of life in a way no man should ever have to i write it for my nephew a son who has never been more loved by a mother on this earth who is celebrating his first birthday without one today for my dad a man of few words who lost a daughter and friend my mom oh my mom no words for this selfless hero none and i write for those of you who are grieving your own losses what tricky business huh i remember hearing a story about a friend of a friend who had tragically lost her sister she explained that it just took her breath away when she least expected it i know all too well how that feels now it s just breathtakingly sad keep breathing so many people reached out with genine s passing sharing their stories and feelings about how she made all of their lives better in one way or another one of my favorite descriptions is simple but accurate she was uncommonly kind and made a wicked guacamole she was just that uncommonly kind a kindness that i m quite sure unless you knew her you will never have the privilege of experiencing a kindness so pure it comes along once in a lifetime i m so grateful it came along in mine posted by sarah at 6 35 am 8 comments pop up pop up get down it s that time of year again the ladies of the mhd mother s co op have outdone themselves with a fantastic line up for their annual pop up shops this upcoming weekend 1 i m an addict for these india hicks charms they have such clever and meaningful sayings and are my go to gift right now 2 ummmm are these cool fanny packs because i need some of this beau ro fashionable practicality they both scream chella the palm print is so palm springs but the fringe appeals to my inner cindy mancini rip hmmmm decisions 3 i also have a soft spot for bracelets and there will be plenty to choose from at the pop ups sequence collection has an amazing social mission and chic streets will have their sha...