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security officer that he thought the prime minister is an airi because he was wearing a suit and a necktie you see said karfan to the security officer we are here in a production camp where everyone is wearing military fatigues and dirty as shit even our trainers and here comes our prime minister wearing a clean suit and a clean necktie that is outrageous and does not go well with our socialism society back in the days when this ward might have meant something the security officer was convinced with karfan s ranting and made him go after smacking his neck with several slaps at that time though the time of our king lion the 1st god bless his soul it was not a big crime to swear at the prime minister as long as you do not approach the holly spirit of himself the king everyone else was equal in being the subject of ridicule by everyone else now a days baby lion has established a whole gang of untouchables you could be in trouble if you say something about his cousin or his brother in law or his wife s family or even the prime minister the present prime minister had actually put people in prison for criticizing him oh the days of our king lion the 1st we lament those days karfan s theory on why is nothing working in this country is the theory of suit wearing airis you see syria may as well win the prize of the worst dressed nation on earth have you ever been to the karajat bus terminal in aleppo for example or in latakia or even baramkeh have you ever seen the green pantaloons under the grey dishdashe of a deerelzorian or the red shirt tucked under yellow pants raised to the chest of a latakian forget about damascus and the few educated people who live in nice neighborhoods who know about channel and eve fuck loran and this worthless shit go to dahadeel go to eish elwarwar go to kudsaya el balad go to the suburb and see what syria is half of the population cannot read and more than that can not write for fuck sake go and see the children in mukhayam and ask how many of them go regularly to school have a conversation with some welder in the industrial area in hama or a loader in the mina in tartous we are simple we are not much educated we are not much bright we are not fashionable and definitely definitely we do not wear suits and neckties but it is okay that the way we are much more simpler people than us were able to build great economies in asia for example when led the right way our real problem is that every airi who leads us or is eager to lead us every general manager of governmental establishment and every government high shot employee every minister and the king himself and now a days every anti government opponent and every nashett ever airi of them wears a suit and a necktie how the fuck you expect us to follow you when you don t even wear the same cloth as us you don t eat the same food as us and you treat us like some dump stupid garbage just because you use some fancy jargons shit and different words than us at the establishment where karfan works an airi came few weeks ago with a european expert to make a study on enhancing the productivity of the establishment of course the airi who wears a suit and necktie never even bothered to ask the employees their opinions and ideas nor of course he even bothered asking the citizens who have direct works with the establishment he came into the offices looking disgustedly at the people in it shook his head over the sight of empty tea and matteh cups on the desks well the matteh was only at karfan s desk and moved to the next office it was like the employees were some insects that ruined his apatite for the day that was exactly the way that the new minister has performed his site visit to karfan s establishment when he took office couple of months ago the only difference is that the new minister airi was smiling disgustingly while the expert airi was frowning disgustingly as karfan describes it they both after there very thorough visit in which they risked their suit and necktie catching some dirt from karfan and fellow employee s dirty desks they pinned a muallakah great piece of poetry on how they think the productivity of the establishment should be increased of course both reports were absolute crap general bullshit that does not have a piece of useful detail since of course the great airi experts never bothered themselves in knowing the details to begin with but that is enough to be an airi here wear a suit and necktie and speak general bullshit karfan being the engineer responsible for the air conditioning in the establishment has given the experts a very good lesson in airi management he ordered his two workers to fuck up the air conditioning and spent the next week fixing it the only rooms that have air conditioning in the establishment are the general manager s and his deputies and an extra room that is given usually to the experts or other airis when they visit karfan s point was to put the experts into a similar situation to the rest of the employees so that maybe they can come up with useful suggestion of increasing productivity the european expert could not stand the heat and ran away with the airi expert to his european organization office karfan received a big scolding from the general manager deputy blamed it on the lack of the sapre parts and went back to his matteh airi opponents drum our heads day and night with talks about changing the political system and forcing the regime to democratize the country no one ever bothered to spend some time in researching the demographical distribution of the population and study a detailed method of actually making voting accessible to all they talk about reducing state employees without even knowing how many employees there are and without really knowing what are the real work conditions and without giving any detailed solutions in numbers on what to do with these employees really all is something like the american solution for iraqi let us disperse the army now and we will think of details later in short the message of airi opponents is very clear and simple remove the regime and put me there instead and what do they have to compete with the regime or other nashetts detailed plans for damascus traffic no detailed plans for economy revival no detailed plans for government employees efficiency increase no detailed plans of anything no just better suit and neckties and we stupid normal syrians who cannot match their fashion skills should just sit there and choose our next government according to the nicest suit and the loveliest necktie fuck that we are not that stupid you airi assholes if that is all what you can come up with then even this ranting blog offers more patriotism than yours if that is all what you can come up with then long live king lion the 2nd and his fictitious victories at least they are funny posted by karfan friend at 14 21 17 comments 2005 06 20 myth no 11 karfan is important karfan and i bow in apology to the twenty something readers and commentators that have been taking from their precious time to check on our useless rant blog we were not in prison we were not arrested rather we were living a false self importance state of mind two months ago it became obvious that king lion the 2nd and his entourage grew weary of people barking at them from all sides being completely hopeless towards the big strong harmful dogs barking from the safe heaven of outside they decided to start beating the dogs that they can beat the tiny little harmless poodles inside the country so they started a charitable campaign of filling some empty cells with people who dared to speak out loud demanding reforms and democracy some of the names they took are famous or became famous after the rides like the atassi seven and their snow white princess some were never mentioned in media and they were known by word of mouth only some were released and some were not so karfan and i being lawful disciples of chicken citizenship conditioning decided to keep a low profile for a while after taking a month and a half vacation from this virtual ranting duty we realized that there is really nothing for us to fear from we were fooling our selves by thinking that we are actually so important that a security service apparatus would waist their brilliant informants time to track us down they would rather let them play card which would still be doing something more useful to their regime than arresting us karfan is very different from those who have been and are being arrested those people are demanding reform democracy election and all sort of big words that three quarter of syrian population don t have a blody idea what the hell they mean but read again this whole long useless ranting essays we posted here can you spot any were where karfan asked for democracy demanded reform or solicited free election no in fact that is exactly why karfan has never been imprisoned all those years despite his never ending bitching and swearing he does not consist a danger on the regime or the society because he is not asking a thing from them if anything the only thing that karfan might have thought of as a vision for this country was that every male over forty years old to drop dead suddenly of a heart attack king lion the 2nd recently wasted our time on the great recent baath conference that time might as well have been time wasted on watching a soccer game between djibouti and uganda it really would have not made any much difference for most syrians before that conference a friend of karfan whose friend s father was one of the 1300 fortunate clappers chanters who attended that conference asked karfan what does he wanted so that he would tell his friend s father to convey to the conference karfan said he just wanted one tiny little thing from that conference the guy laughed and said i know i know like everyone else democracy karfan demo what no guy then anti corruption measures karfan no no please don t bring my name with anything with anti in it i belong to the naam yes generation we don t know the ward anti guy what is that one thing that you need this very decisive and important conference to deliver then karfan i want my thirty seven years back among all the cries demands and the pressure for so big things as open market democracy free election and national conciliation and and and to the end of the list of the sophisticated words i reckon we should not be harassed or imprisoned for asking for that tiny little thing posted by karfan friend at 11 43 161 comments 2005 05 02 myth no 10 baath is a political entity every day karfan goes to work he has to be tortured hearing about the upcoming big event that became the talk of the year this year the baath party regional convention so much rumors and talks that gives karfan headache to hear and see people talk about as if it is going to be the big bang of syria the baath will change its name the baath will change its objectives the baath will allow political life the baath will get rid of all the old guard king lion the 2nd will reshuffle and clean the baath party and so on and so on in order for a party to do all of this shit it has to be a political party karfan wonders when in monkey s name this thing became a real party yes granted we call it the party and baath party but these are mere names of some thing that exists and we had to call it a name it does not mean anything like a political party or any political or organizational entity it just exists around us and between us like that black cloud of pollution on top of damascus and banias like the sewage stink or like the mukhabarat s peugeot white cars baath party people s assembly cultural center and people s army are just names of things that had nothing to do with those names back when karfan was forced to serve his country and waste two years of his already useless life in the army he was assigned to a radar unit in lebanon that was because his degree was in electronic engineering and all although he himself did not have the slightest idea what did he study during those years he spent at university regardless of that fact service at a radar station was both the most useless and most dangerous service in the syrian army they were not allowed to ever turn on those junk backward radars the russians had bullied syria into buying if they operate them the israelis would detect their location send missiles and blow the whole thing up you cannot think of any more useless way to spend a year and a half of your life you have to sit inside a dead piece of junk that is supposed to detect enemy s airlines but you cannot turn it on because if you do it would be blown away with you in it of course the biggest fear was that one asshole up in the upper command might actually take the risk and order them to turn the radars on one of those days every one there knew what would happen then they code named it the suicide order that is why karfan accepted his new assignment few months later of becoming the psychological warfare officer a baath party officer who is responsible for the party and propaganda affairs in the unit the real joke was that karfan never have been a baathi in his entire life the unit commander was an ignorant from dara a who thought that just because karfan is from tartous and alawie then he is certainly a member of the baath theses are the sort of myths that many has on the miserable alawie population who was not lucky enough to be blessed of belonging to the entourage of our lord the king lion despite the fact that someone like karfan is on the bottom of the bottoms in the social hierarchy of this country s society many think that he is baathi he is certainly working for the secret service and he has certainly very well established connections among the upper command why just because he is an alawie by birth regardless of the fact that his belief in religions is not much firmer than his belief in mickey mouse so when his commander assigned him to that position karfan did not bother to tell him that he is not baathi the commander won t believe him anyhow and would think that karfan is pulling his leg so karfan shut up and accepted the great job which would guarantee at least that he will not be inside one of those junk machines when the israeli missiles blow them up he kept saying that his baath enrollment card has not been transferred yet to the unit so that he would avoid been asked about his baath membership details transforming membership between cities could take anything between three months to three years or eternity when it is lost on the way during those following months karfan came to know great deal about the great sophisticated baath party which he never joined karfan was responsible of writing down the minutes of the weekly party meetings it would start in chanting the great symphony our goals unity freedom socialism our leader for eternity the faithful lord king the 1st then it would go something like this commander comrade sa...