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tales of a super nova skip to main skip to sidebar tales of a super nova to perform like a star to steal the show and to party with the gods take the stage do the dance and invite yourself thursday august 11 2011 bradbury air when a ray bradburyesque wind blows it usually means one thing to most people to me it means something entirely different i should tell you what it means to me i suppose that s probably why you re reading some part of me would like to make you guess does it mean strange things are afoot or love is in the air or someone s heart feels like a wet sneaker that has been put in the dryer maybe all three maybe none maybe i can t tell anymore yesterday walking down a familiar sidewalk i felt the first signs of a fall that i ve hoped for the summer has been anything but a vacation for me though that s what most are callin it from their points of view for me it s been an introspective time during which i m supposed to be the most extroverted self of my year i wish i would have taken notes while i was livin it but that s just it livin doesn t leave a lot of room for note taking even if you know shorthand decisions seem to be something that are inescapable but what if you don t trust part of your brain like you once did worrying that choices placed before me somehow held a promise of something that seemed like gold but might be more like fairy dust though neither seem to be bad when you look right at them both and that s the truth of it posted by stella at 10 39 pm 2 comments labels small moments wednesday july 20 2011 god hates protesters if you have a few minutes you might enjoy this site as much as i did posted by stella at 12 00 am 4 comments labels tales of humanity thoughts from the universe tuesday july 19 2011 here comes your man while i love seeing joseph gordon levitt pretend he doesn t really know how to sing in this clip i d like to focus more on the message of the song by the pixies a band i love though i ve never attempted the haircut exterior shot chain restaurant because two people who never frequent chains find themselves in a suburb two tall distinguished passionate artists walk into the joint to get lunch pan to close up of seating hostess she watches couple approach she sizes up the two of them she s immediately attracted to the male hostess welcome to this awesome chain restaurant we are so glad to have you here please follow me batting eyelashes quick look up and down his body and back to his eyes again wow sir you re really really tall that must be so nice for you to be so tall how tall are you sir man 6 4 hostess my my my so tall woman yes isn t he i m tall too we really love being tall hostess not wanting to acknowledge woman exists but glancing over and saying with disinterest oh how tall are you woman 6 foot it s such a great height i m really fond of it hostess well must be so nice for you to have found a tall strong man hold on to your man you re pretty lucky to be with him man and woman debate inwardly whether or not to point out everything wrong with what this woman just said but decide to not launch a verbal tired on the naive young seating hostess at a chain restaurant in california who believes that a woman must hold on to a man and is worth more if she has one instead they just smile and nod man ouch did you see what she just did to you woman yep apparently i m the lucky one i m the one who needed a man i m the one who better not let you go or it will be my loss that s a lifetime movie waiting to be made yet again note to reader this man is not my man he never has been and never will be he is however a dear friend and one who thinks similarly to myself man yes see how come i couldn t have been the lucky one how come i couldn t have been told not to let you go or how nice it must be to be with someone who is as tall as you are note to reader we love this man he is one of our dearest friends his ability to even talk about this with me is one of the reasons why end scene for now but this happens on more than one occasion it also happens that every woman that has ever seated this man and myself at a restaurant has practically slipped him her phone number it doesn t matter if we re holding hands or making out between our sushi they still do it dear women wtf it s an interesting thing to notice in my life that i am never quite seen as fully complete adult fulfilled and utterly blissed out on joy if i do not have a man in my life this is a reality that many of the women around me adopt this is a reality that i refuse to adopt this is a reality that i want to eradicate from the deepest marrow of my bones this happens and i wish it didn t it really really gets old rant posted by stella at 12 44 am 1 comment labels all the single ladies feminism men there s men and there s women saturday july 16 2011 my writing brain i used to be a writer it s gone away only elementary words come into my mind thoughts composed solely of facebook status updates that people push a little button to like here are the last ten thoughts i had that i posted to facebook 1 the screen of my mac gets dirty so fast firstworldproblems 2 i kind of like ninjas now 3 walking into hollister makes me feel like an old pale giant 4 spending all day with a 4 year old is like a roller coaster ride for my ovaries 5 i literally have an ache in my heart when i think about the fact that i cannot time travel nerdysadness 6 i m in california and freezing what s up with that p s my cousin is with me 7 decide what to be and go be it 8 avett brothers in a few short hours hello sunday evening 9 bad teacher 10 if only my life were more like theater camp that s all i got and some of these aren t even original thoughts they are thoughts that others have thought that i thought after them i don t know what this means for my soul but the outlook isn t good my soul is screaming for a metaphor salad right about now posted by stella at 2 34 am 5 comments labels life changing moments friday july 15 2011 thanks mom going to san francisco a few weeks ago was a good thing i went for a conference on eating disorders as mine has been rearing it s ugly head again the last year after the conference i went with two lovely young women i met to the mission district where we were all going to attempt to eat dinner together without being weird about our eating issues it s always a good time to laugh at yourself in the process we decided to try an amazing vegan a lot of people with food issues of undereating denial binge purge tend to go vegan because it takes away a lot of triggers and we like the added emphasis on health mexican place called gracias madre which of course is an homage to mother earth but we liked to just call it thanks mom photo taken from neoncolorwaves may i suggest starting out with the very fresh delightful amazing guacamole served with warm corn tortillas that were blessed by the gods sip the most incredible horchata of your life while you re doing it finish off with the enchiladas con mole spicy mole enchiladas topped with mushrooms and cashew cheese served with sauteed greens and beans this is how good real food can be it was one of the most amazing meals of my life but also because i let myself mentally enjoy it too with really good company posted by stella at 2 16 am 3 comments labels food travel thursday july 14 2011 thoughts upon the hunt part i a side note of inspiration i ve been trying to think like a man lately yep some history when you grow up as a smart little girl into an intelligent and semi sophisticated my hair isn t always in order older woman there is something about the male species that you might never want to admit you know you might try really hard to believe that some men are capable of not being typical that some men due to breeding and education and a really great mother figure in their lives somehow lack or evolved away from the gene where they size up your looks the minute they see you a fact men are hunters a second fact men are very very very very very visual some explanation when a man is a hunter i see it in two ways way 1 mostly they are going to hunt with their eyes before they ever decide to hunt with their brains this has been a hard concept for me to grasp in my life but i think i m finally at a place of embracing it i m finally at a place where if i m the object of desire then it might not be such a bad thing did you hear me feminist world ahem being an object of desire might not be such a bad thing thanks to patty b over at mmp for helping me voice this way 2 hunting is all about winning or losing and men like to win and they want to win even if they don t want you more on this in part 2 the realities of conclusion these thoughts on the hunt stemmed from a conversation i had with a smart caring intelligent funny man who has been my dear friend for a long time we ve been friends with benefits some times and other times we ve just been friends he knows me well he knows i have a brain and a graduate degree from a top university he knows i care about feeding poor children and helping the homeless he listens to me when i rant about being misunderstood by some one he laughs with me during a good movie he s been there for me emotionally and physically when i ve wanted the one or the other knowing that he sees me as a valuable human being makes it ok for him to finally admit that sometimes he sees me purely as an object of desire and he added to this that it might be safe to tell me that he just plain likes it when i dress like a slut and that most men like it when women dress like sluts i have never dressed like a slut before well not often i ve alway been pretty modest because even a v neck shirt can make my lush brainy breasts look provocative moving on this was hard for me to hear because i fear that dressing like a slut will give people the wrong opinion of me but i also relish the idea of dressing like a slut and taking my sexual power to a very new and higher level to be able to be the object of desire know it own it even if it s only for the man that sits and watches the news with me what are your thoughts on dressing like a slut or looking at girls who are dressed like sluts or am i saying the word slut so many times that you are now uncomfortable like i sort of am posted by stella at 1 47 am 8 comments labels dating there s men and there s women saturday june 25 2011 if i m wrong please don t tell me recently i entered into conversation with a religious zealot at least he seemed to be to me he was probably just an average religious person i did not mean to these days i d much rather talk about the weather but we were traveling together and i didn t know how to stop the onslaught of questions that came from being seatbelted next to someone for the next three hours i am usually good with religious zealots i d like to think i could take michele bachmann on like any quick witted high school student and have her eating out of my agnostic hand with gratitude i d like to think that i could invite over the fundamentalists who predict various days and months for the long awaited rapture and woo them with my logic and creme brulée until they start donating to planned parenthood just like me but after the three hours with this religious zealot i felt as if i might reclaim mormonism just so my head could stop exploding he wanted to know why i left my reasons of patriarchy racism lack of human rights equality historical cover ups and fuck ups feeling like shit in the temple not really believing in polygamy prop 8 not really believing in much of an afterlife which caused him to shake his head at me in hopelessness and sadness at my current state of beliefs and a slew of other problems didn t seem to be enough this wasn t his first time maneuvering around this kind of discourse he craftily counteracted most of what i had to say hitting on sore spots and soft spots alike so much so that any faltering ex mormon might feel motivation to immediately find their nearest bishop repent and get on with procreating i kept trying to explain my point of view i kept trying to explain the way i felt i kept trying to tell him i was happy with my decision none of these worked or satisfied him but only angered him it was a surprise attack from a source i hadn t anticipated and it was a battle i thought i could win i keep learning the lesson that some people just aren t worth the energy but i think i m finally getting it from now on i m going to adopt the mantra of my dear friend nubian who before sharing her opinion with me casually says if i m wrong please don t tell me posted by stella at 6 03 am 3 comments labels religion older posts home subscribe to posts atom rothko my other blogs visit them super nova health running one of the things i m going to start doing is running i ve signed up for a 5k in april here in slc and i m signing up for a 1 2 marathon in the hamptons d 15 years ago stellar love stories klimt amanda blake followers blog archive 2011 33 august 1 bradbury air july 5 june 3 may 7 april 1 march 1 february 5 january 10 2010 107 december 12 november 20 october 17 september 6 august 6 july 2 june 2 may 3 april 14 march 16 february 7 january 2 2009 5 october 3 september 2 about me stella i m a traveling super nova living working loving and breathing i love the way a good scottish accent sounds i love singing in the kitchen while i cook i dream in iambic pentameter a side effect of all the shakespeare plays i have directed my favorite book shops are in paris and boston i am trying to learn the art of feng shui i like gratitude view my complete profile