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tea for one please skip to main skip to sidebar tea for one please monday december 15 2008 finals christmas and friends it s getting close to christmas time and finals are this week i totally bombed two of my three classes which sucks but i had it coming this semester has been one where i ve focused on my social life and completely snubbed my studies next semester is going to have to be different but for now i m sort of just enjoying the christmas season i get to be with my friends at school for another week and then i m going home to my family and my old high school friends down memory road once more it makes a girl think that s where i ve been where am i going there are so many different options so many different things i could do and be wonderfully happy i hate making decisions when they are all great a little update about boys i am now dating one of my old friends who i met when i first moved here it s so refreshing being able to laugh and joke and not worry as much about whether he likes me or not because he s already my friend plus he is a sweetheart he would never hurt me on purpose and that is such a relief it s nice to not have to worry whether or not he will come by some day and say i m sorry there s this other girl he s such a gentleman if i m not careful i might fall in love with him posted by jillian peterson at 1 18 pm no comments wednesday november 12 2008 a real humdinger of a week i hate it when you are on cloud 9 everything is going your way and then all of a sudden something goes wrong and you might as well be back in the ninth circle of hell all over again that seems to be how my life goes lately i was just getting excited about dating someone i was really interested in and bam he s not interested in me and is now basically back to avoiding me of course he managed to squeeze in lots of advice on how to pick yourself up and be happy which was about the last thing i was interested in hearing at that point i feel kind of like a punching bag that is old and worn and losing all of its stuffing and the worst part nobody cares how do you move on while still nursing the wound all i want to do right now is hide from the world cut off all human contact or at least with everyone that i know and somehow stitch my heart back together i heard that introverts are like that they are ok to be with people but people drain them and they need time alone to recharge themselves emotionally and physically i suppose i am an introvert right now big surprise though eh within two or three weeks i was proposed to broke up with my boyfriend got another boyfriend and got dumped by him is it a crime for me to want to avoid people since people are the ones that keep abusing me how do you move on when your heart looks like confetti and your brain looks like a puddle sigh posted by jillian peterson at 10 35 am no comments thursday november 6 2008 cloud 9 ah could a girl be a little more confused and yet so blissfully happy the man who has been steadfastly ignoring me for the past two months finally came out and apologized on sunday he had been stricken with an extreme case of jealousy when i started to date the guy who proposed he was right to be jealous i gave him every indication that i was extremely interested in him and then i hauled off and got a boyfriend because this guy just wasn t doing anything all three of us got hurt jason the guy who proposed is now in a lot of emotional pain because i broke up with him and told him there was nothing there jose the guy who i was madly in love with the whole time got hurt when i got another boyfriend and is now just as paranoid of showing his feelings for me as i am of showing mine to him and i feel like something of a gremlin for turning these two guys lives upside down and inside out but at the same time i am incredibly happy at least once i shove aside the feelings of self doubt i asked jose to go to preference with me on saturday and he said he d love to i got really worried last night when i asked him about it and he seemed to get a bit ho hummish about it but when i told my roommates about it they said he was probably just shy and just as nervous about it as i was i really hope that they are right i ve had too many bombs explode when i ve asked the guy out the way he holds me the way he quietly tells me everything will be alright the way he wouldn t tell anyone how he voted but then told me we were sitting in the basement of the wilkinson center waiting for the bishop to get there jose is executive secretary and in charge of bishop interviews and we were just kind of holding each other then the bishop came around the corner so jose stood up quickly and i buried my nose in my book the bishop looked at me and said that s a very interesting study place haha yeah anyways my life is the ultimate roller coaster i love it i just wish there weren t so many shocking drops posted by jillian peterson at 11 29 am no comments tuesday october 21 2008 a joke a small joke so there are three men an american a frenchman and an englishman they are walking along a beach when they find a genie lamp they rub it and the genie comes out it tells them they each get one wish the american being all self important goes first he has it all figured out i was ten million dollars a year for the rest of my life done says the genie the frenchman goes next and since the french hate everyone but themselves he asks for a huge wall around all of france done says the genie the englishman is next but he asks can i ask you a question first sure says the genie are there any windows or doors in that french wall no then fill it with water posted by jillian peterson at 11 18 pm no comments monday october 20 2008 a modest proposal so tonight my boyfriend of five weeks popped the question will you marry me those must be four of the most stunning words in the entire world four words five syllables and an eternity of emotion and social commentary packed into no more than three seconds of vocal chord vibrations i was not expecting this at all a week ago today well yesterday i broke up with him i told him that i didn t love him and that i didn t see us going anywhere i had been wanting to do that for a few weeks because i had interests in other guys and i only saw him as a good friend on tuesday he took me to dinner at red lobster and we had a great time so he started to come over to our apartment more often saturday he helped me go car shopping sadly unsuccessful and sunday after church and kidnapping my roommate to cheer her up i went with him on a drive we had been sitting in his car talking for a while i asked him what he was thinking he said a question i asked him what question and he didn t say anything for a while knowing him and what was on his mind i figured that that specific question was on his mind however never in my wildest dreams did i imagine that he would actually ask me he has asked me on other occasions if i could see us together or if i think we would make a good pair everything pointing that way but nothing ever asking something of me so after he didn t say anything for a while i figured that was the question on his mind and thought that right now i don t want to mess with it i told him that if he didn t want to tell me then i didn t want to know then he came out and said it will you marry me no ring no flowers no years of excited anticipation just a modest proposal don t get me wrong i like simplicity very much it s just that this time it all caught me off guard as if he had just asked me to go to dinner with him on friday instead of spend the rest of eternity with him i told him that i didn t think that i could answer that just yet he said ok that it would be fine for me to just think about it and process it in my mind be it for thirty seconds or eight or nine months so now begins the thinking generally a girl is ecstatic when her boyfriend pops the question here at byu there are not a few girls who would kill to have this opportunity and yet all i can do right now is sit here at my rented imac and type a few stunned notes while my unknowing roommates and half the world sleeps what do i do posted by jillian peterson at 2 42 am no comments labels engagement marriage proposal monday october 13 2008 a new day today monday oct 13 2008 has been a reasonable day yesterday wasn t though i broke up with my boyfriend and a close friend deleted me from off of facebook i was miserable yesterday but today seems to be such a better day i slept in skipped my first two classes and picked up a computer to rent for the semester while i figure out what happened to my laptop our heater is fixed in our apartment and i managed to sign up for a leadership position at byusa on the service squad i m still not sure what that means but i ll find out life is not exactly peachy but you know what i don t care i am alive breathing don t have a terminal illness and i live with a bunch of crazy awesome roommates life is good posted by jillian peterson at 4 27 pm no comments home subscribe to posts atom about me jillian peterson i am a junior at brigham young university majoring in archaeology i am from the san francisco bay area in california and love flying planes when time and gas prices allow view my complete profile followers blog archive 2008 6 december 1 finals christmas and friends november 2 october 3