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Text of the page (random words):
ment by our family i determined in my mind that 2009 would not go down as a dismal failure for the fontaños no we must do something we can actually write about on the blog but what what was it we could do i thought and thought and searched for an idea any idea but was stumped in my attempts to come up with something anything i paced the floor night after night for at least two nights to no avail the idea would not come i asked tara for ideas and she made a few suggestions they were okay why don t you volunteer down at the local food bank tara i m doing this for glory and adoration not to help people why don t you try to take the christmas lights down before february tara goals should be realistic and attainable have you even looked in your franklin daily planner i could re read the twilight trilogy alas i fell to the ground sobbing at which point tara said please don t cry on the carpet peter i just had it steam cleaned some might say that i was finished and indeed a smaller man would have broken at this point but as you all know i have a bit of a weight problem so i am not a smaller man a cheap laugh yes but you know you went there before i did no one can resist kicking a fat man when he s down i should mention here that i took english 101 in college three times i say that to illustrate a point which is that sometimes you have to fail in order to succeed and sometimes you have to fail twice in order to succeed a wise man once said it doesn t matter how many times you get bucked off by the easiest english class taught at the collegiate level and taught at that academic powerhouse the community college of southern nevada no less the only thing that matters is that you re register and drop another 75 per credit hour and take it again these are the indelible lessons of life that remain with us forever and come to our aid when we can t think of a single stupid idea to put on the least read blog of all time my creative genius pulled a low c two nights in a row but was i going to let that keep me down possibly yes i mean come on it was really hard to think of anything good so as all hopeless and desperate men do i turned to that great source of all inspiration and as i was thumbing through the channels i came across man vs food san antonio edition on the travel channel it was there that i first learned about lulu s cafe and bakery housed in the nastiest building in all of texas that is not yet condemned and nestled in the heart of downtown san antonio there they have the world s largest sweet rolls i think so anyway at least the largest in the greater northern downtown san antonio area as i watched the patrons eating these monstrous delights i suddenly knew our family mission for 2009 we would conquer the lulu s sweet roll and mark our places in history and then of course post about it so the world could recognize exactly where that mark was since i m not entirely certain who is in charge of keeping those particular parts of the history of mankind i know this is shaping up to be a pretty awesome story you re probably glued to the edge of your office chair reading faster and faster as you anticipate the outcome even though you re already certain what it is you re breathing deeply sucking in the heavy fumes of inspiration and feel goodedness you re chanting in your mind rudy rudy rudy and as that exciting fervor builds within you let me just say this 2009 was a pretty dull year for us no major awards received no special dinners with ranking local politicians no clips of myself on sportscenter and no world s largest cinnamon rolls devoured nope nothing eventful what a waste of a year what can i say that cinnamon roll was freaking huge we shared the thing between the family and only got half of it down i blame tara personally she never caught the vision of this thing and just kept saying listen slim i am not buying you a new belt if you break this one so you just remember that while you re trying to swallow this house of a pastry on your own i guess there s always next year and i m going to start watching tv right away so i don t leave our attempts at greatness to the very end just in case we fail or fail twice all the best my friends for a happy healthy and productive 2010 posted by pedroman at 10 49 pm 11 comments friday april 17 2009 q2 check in it seems like a quarterly update is in order first story bennie boy cut his head open and became our first child to require stitches it remains an unsolved mystery to this day as only he and mom were home and as all good mom s do tara had locked herself in the closet to sneak a sip of the hard stuff and steal 5 minutes of peace just as she was tipping back the johnny walker blue she heard the man screaming and came running around the corner to find him standing in a pool of his own blood shirt soaking face unrecognizable so the story goes any way tara will have to post the gory details as i was quite busy enjoying saturday play at the shell houston open and choking down bad hot dogs at the employee tent seriously they were cold and non beef the hamburgers were less than edible and the cheese was sweating i had to have 3 ice cream bars just to cleanse my palette so anyway tara leigh took him to the local er and he got six stitches and is well on his way to his first battle scar of course he has since been getting attention from all the hotties in the nursery chicks dig scars tara has a theory that the injury resulted from the following key circumstances that came together at exactly the right time to form a perfect storm if you will just prior to the incident ben 1 was prancing about in abbie s flip flops 2 was prancing about in said flip flops on the slippery tile in our entry way and 3 was prancing about in said flip flops on said slippery tile whilst rummaging through easter baskets and plastic eggs empty eggs and baskets emptiness that could have created confusion and panic as he searched for the normal spoils that accompany such festive artifacts observe by the way the first thing tara said to me after the frenzy had subsided was it s too bad it wasn t in the shape of a lightning bolt i asked the doctor to cut another little jag at the bottom but he wouldn t do it so he got not tip from me true story speaking of stories here is story number 2 from q1 2009 we went camping technically the trip occurerd in q2 but everytime i post i feel like it may be my last so i am going to get this story in now let me digress for a moment though since you brought up doing something for the last time we were in chicago in february visiting tara s mom as she celebrated her wait for it 60th birthday 60 holy crap that s old and i only say that because i know she s the one person reading this blog kind of like the time i plotted the accidental deaths of my in laws online she took it well truth be told 60 is the new 55 you re still young and spry carol and don t let them tell you any different and if they do tell you different and you have something clever to rebut with be sure to put your teeth in beforehand because it s really hard to understand you when you forget ladies and gentleman that last age joke brought to you by the 3rd oldest man in the summerwood texas ward pete fontano at age 34 34 is the new 40 my friends and i ve got the hair and ponch to prove it rather i don t have the hair to prove it now i ve digressed from my original digression so let s get back to chicago we were eating at portillo s world s greatest hotdog restaurant love those jumbo dogs and their italian beef is dynamite as well so having to pick one over the other proposes a very real quandary reminds me of a great katie couric joke as told by phil hendrie impersonating katie couric but not repeatable here i m sure mike is the only one that gets that if he s reading anyway what does one do in such impossible situations naturally i got the italian beef and the jumbo hot dog and the large cheese fries i convinced myself that i didn t know when i was ever going to be there again so i better get one of all my favorites as it it turned out we were back 3 days later with bud and lindsey but at the time i truly felt like it could be my last portillo s italian beef and it very well could have been as a result i made that visit count i seized the day carpe diem oh captain my captain oh foreman my foreman and just as i put my body on the line that day and pushed my arteries to their very limit so today i am going to make this blog post count indeed it will be my finest hour and chances are i ll be back in 6 months to a year but just in case i don t make it you ll know that when the crew was up against it and the breaks were beating the boys i got out there and won just one for the zipper so we went camping as previously mentioned yegua creek campground at somerville lake texas we went site unseen and i was particularly nervous as i had picked the site and there were 4 other families with us really i was mostly afraid of tara after what she did to bennie see story number 1 q1 2009 so i was really hoping the campground would prove to be the greatest campsite ever found by man and it was not really but it was a nice campground and exceeded my expectations we had 3 lake front sites and although they weren t the most level ever they were probably a solid 100 yards deep and you could go toward the shore to find fairly flat ground it was a lot of fun we did some fishing swam in the lake hung out burned stuff it was good times to be had by all and here are some pics of the weekend jeremy modeling the tent quite seductively ben hanging out he was pretty miserable for a lot of this trip but he did enjoy these rockets that talmage brought jeremy loading up the same rockets on the launcher here s a shot of a lot of the kids abbie flanked on either side by her mates megan and callie these three are nuts and finally a few pics of the kids playing in the water forget that carpe diem crap i m going to bed posted by pedroman at 11 58 pm 13 comments friday january 23 2009 2009 update i figure i ll get this update in now at the first of the year so we re good for the next 6 months or so i want to dedicate this entry to a personal friend and inspiration the best male blogger i know pete broadbent you know you ve earned it we ve had a mellow past few months nothing too exciting to report when your last entry is we survived a freaking hurricane somehow chronicling our weekly trips to the grocery store just doesn t seem to be blog worthy even with the occasional movie rental on a special week we really have mismanaged expectations here i blame myself i should have known better it s like my theory for birthday parties for the kids you ve got to start very small offering almost nothing no friends maybe a cake but only if it s carrot meaningless gifts that you pick up for free at tradeshows or in hotel rooms etc then every year you can add a little something something to make the celebration even better than the year before a friend may be allowed frosting may be added to the cake maybe a balloon or two by the time your child is 16 he or she will be thrilled just to have store bought invitations and hawaiian punch but if you make the critical error that most parents seem to make of hiring a clown renting an inflatable jump castle allowing live animals of any kind dropping 281 in party city for balloons and other decorations purchasing extravagant gifts like bicycles or video game consoles inviting enough kids to populate the children s choir of omaha offering free curbside valet all this when your child turns 4 well then my friend by the time he s 16 half of the high school will be invited to the lakeside condo you rented to hear the private jonas brothers concert you had to pony up for that will be the expectation anyway hence the show my super sweet 16 on mtv you ve got to set yourself up to be able to improve allow some wiggle room see now we have fallen into the birthday party trap just like everyone else but only because my wife of 9 6 years is so weak when it comes to these matters i tried to convince her we should actually pretend to forget the kids birthday for a couple of years just to help them really appreciate the giant numeral 7 candle when they finally got it alas my arguments fell on deaf ears anyway i m going to post a bit more this year it s a goal for 2009 and it only took me 23 days to start maybe it ll end next week like all of my other goals for the new year maybe it will last a couple of months who knows maybe just maybe i ll make an entry every week that will blow your very mind such that you ll monitor our humble blog with unwavering hourly regularity because you just can t wait for the next masterpiece to unfold right before your thirsty blood red eyes but in the spirit of managing expectations i wouldn t count it happy new year to you all and a much belated merry christmas posted by pedroman at 10 29 pm 8 comments thursday september 18 2008 ike we ve had a lot of e mails and calls since ike made his presence known on his way through houston we appreciate the love and concern from each of you i thought i would give an update here for all to read we decided not to evacuate for hurricane ike our area was asked to hunker down since we weren t in a flood zone ike was a crazy storm i think it hit a lot harder than we expected our neighborhood took a pretty good hit and sustained a lot of damage lots of trees and power lines came down our home was blessed with very little damage we lost an eight foot section of our fence and three of our little trees fell over but all are already fixed unfortunatley we are one of the 22 of people who don t have power back yet tonight at midnight will mark our 13th day without power the centerpoint website says our neighborhood should have power back by sunday we are hoping it will be sooner since there have been a lot of work trucks in the neighborhood i wish i could say i was tough enough to handle it and was still in houston but i am not the kids and i came up to chicago last tuesday our side of the street was also having sewage problems and that was the last straw for me we will post some pictures after i get home and our power is restored thanks again for all of your calls and e mails to check on us for you non texans out there hunker down means to shelter in place posted by tara at 8 57 pm 13 comments the time has come we decided to start this blog last spring i decided i would send the link out after i made my first official post as you can see i haven t been too good at doing that i am hoping to turn over a new leaf but i m not making any promises posted by tara at 8 57 pm 1 comment monday september 8 2008 first days of school my good man jeremy started 1st grade two weeks ago having to wade his way to the school entrance through a sea of his mother s tears i went in to work late so the family could drive him over as tara was in no state to drive jermaine of course couldn t wait to start school...