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Text of the page (random words):
2007 cube farm hijinks from seamonkey of seamonkeymusic com this came to my e mail recently and was just too appropriate to not post oh here s some sh t i got fired today because i shouldn t have hired someone with the high level of experience you have for this job wtf ok so this b tch contacts me and takes me out of the steady job i already had and puts me in a more remedial position for my line of work residential title insurance for less pay but it was much closer to home and right by my kid s schools i was cutting 60 miles round trip off per day but at least i had a job and now nothing fu king b tch labels insurance seamonkey posted by mat weller on saturday july 21 2007 0 comments 17 july 2007 2nd annual my bad boss contest workingamerica org is doing it again if you think you ve got a story then get in on it labels contest my bad boss working america posted by mat weller on tuesday july 17 2007 0 comments 16 july 2007 put the coffee cup down and step away from the pot i ve been a corporate drone at the same corporate hive for about 8 years now my last job was a stint at a retail big box hell i ll call the computer stuporstore where america used to get its computer equipment before michael dell and steve jobs mercifully cut out the middle man my job was as a pc technician one of the guys in the back room working on whatever clusterfuck someone brought into the store well that was my job description my actual job was from 5 to close was to work the counter the computer stuporstore had a few bizarre policies everyone was reviewed on income generated but technicians were not allowed to make sales naturally we were always evaluated as losers my personal favorite was overtime is not permitted and not tolerated at the computer stuporstore yes we were written up for clocking out one minute late i finally took to telling the operations manager to learn how to make adjustments since i m too busy doing yanno work to be arsed with worrying about the clock or poor planning on your part does not constitute failure on my part the absolute worst policy concerned coffee someone at corporate decided that if one drank coffee in the late afternoon they were not rested enough if they were not rested enough they were not giving the computer stuporstore their all and if one is not giving the computer stuporstore their all management should intervene and give counseling never mind we all drank coke after noon which not only contains caffiene but sugar as well and the professional geeks in the back room half of us were mountain dew addicts and future type ii diabetics in december of 1999 i got an offer to join bighugeco in a job that 1 was accessible by bus and 2 wouldn t insult my intelligence the offer increased my salary by 33 let me think about that yes so i turned in my three week notice at the computer stuporstore and embarked on a month long campaign to get myself fired i cussed out the general manager in front of a customer for telling her that i would work overtime off the clock i punched in early and went to breakfast i let the phone ring evenings while i spent half an hour in the break room watching jeopardy did this get anyone s attention no what did one afternoon the new starbucks opened in the strip mall next door i walked over on a break and got myself a cup this got the general manager s attention who brought it to the operations manager s attention the om his name was roger hauled me into his office for counseling were you aware of the rule about coffee during afternoon hours he asked yes i said are you aware i turned in my notice and that i will be leaving your fine establishment for one that unlike this one pays more than people on food stamps get nonetheless for the next sixteen days you are an employee of the computer stuporstore and therefore i have to ask you about your coffee okay it s called sumatra blend it will knock you on your ass for the largest size it s 1 50 this was 1998 if you like i ll buy you a cup j understand that when we see you drinking coffee we have to wonder why you re not getting enough rest i m not getting enough rest because i work two jobs and no you have no say in that situation unless you want to pay me more i understand but i still have to write you up and take a statement okay here s my statement i m sorry you losers don t understand that sometimes people drink coffee because they like it i m sorry some moron in corporate has nothing better to do with his time than make up silly rules to make this place an even bigger hell than it already is i m sorry i still have to work here until new year s day did you get all that you could quit now you could fire me now roger smiled roger actually got it long ago he was biding his time until he either replaced the gm or he moved on to someplace better like everyone else who quit this place in the seven months i d worked there get back to work you re not going to fire me for drinking coffee where do you think i work corporate they never did fire me though the gm did avoid me after i cussed him out in front of a customer posted by jim winter on monday july 16 2007 0 comments 13 july 2007 the phb is real about a year and a half ago bighugeco got a new cio chief information officer or career is over you make the call the new cio was a straight shooting guy from india with a sense of humor his underling the vice president of infrastructure or infantile as we liked to call him wanted the job infantile was a poster child for bad management his conversations were designed to hunt for flaws in the other person so he could cut them down like a good manager his all hands meetings rewarded all the ass kissers who d worked for him since he was just a team lead he openly trashed managers at the business units for being more concerned with doing business than gasp following his it edicts many of which were overridden as part of the previous cio s monday morning routine coffee read wall street journal invalidate all or most of infantile s new policies infantile had managed to become one of the few managers at his level where people questioned his parentage within earshot and why not he wasn t allowed to fire people only humiliate them and humiliation doesn t hurt your mortgage payment the way termination does when he didn t get the cio s job after his previous boss left infantile decided the best way to look managerial in front of his new boss was to take him around and introduce him to the peasants where i work we sat with the help desk at the time it was a quiet afternoon and one of the techs had us riveted with a tale of duke energy using his payment to pay someone else s electric bill how did the new boss react that s good can you pay mine well infantile was having none of that we just got friendly with his boss before he had a chance to poison the well what a horrible crime infantile looks around and notices no one s on the phone well it s a help desk isn t it aren t these people supposed to be on the phone why aren t these phones ringing he said come on let s get back to work silence staring roomful of jaws hanging open finally rafferty the one who had his light bill payments funneled to the wrong account spoke up um people have to break something before we can fix it you know and they re just not breaking stuff today cio cringed so did we infantile was fired two weeks later replaced by an unabashed office space fan who let me keep my stapler we had a party posted by jim winter on friday july 13 2007 0 comments 10 july 2007 jesus saves because he knows what the fucking file menu is for reposted from northcoast exile october 2006 another week another clueless moron at bighugeco who should not be let near a computer let s call her jane shall we for two weeks straight jane has complained that she worked and slaved over a masterpiece in microsoft word for three whole hours only to lose her masterpiece when word froze up why oh why she moans must she suffer at the hands of us unsympathetic technicians because jane you are too stupid to live let me clue you in on the novelist s secret weapon see janey i write books and allegedly published one of them and they take a helluva lot longer than three hours to write and word has frozen up on me windows has crashed power outages have occured do i lose anything when this happens why no jane i don t you know why because i know what the fuck the save button is for yes jane i realize i never went to law school as you did in fact i never finished college and yet i know how to click file save as it s one of the first things we all learn when using a computer it s the very first thing i do in any word processing program when i start a new project after that i hit the save button after every paragraph if not more often why so i don t slave for three hours and lose shit to a computer glitch oooh what a concept and yanno what they have a similar handy function on macs that s right janey you re supposed to do this on good ol simple only a brain damaged chimpanzee can break it macs so what s your excuse please ship your laptop back to bighugeco corporate immediately your new etch a sketch will be configured and shipped to you as a replacement i swear to god some people need to audition to be steve irwin s replacement with live crocs the evil j winter labels oxygen thieves posted by jim winter on tuesday july 10 2007 3 comments 22 march 2007 best scamback ever this isn t the usual type of post for this blog but it s too funny to just let pass i highly recommend reading and listening to the call it s a new twist on scamming back the nigerian 419 scammers it may be even better than ebolamonkeyman read more digg story labels 419 meat mogwai puppy scam scambait posted by mat weller on thursday march 22 2007 1 comments 15 january 2007 there are not words i know you guys don t doubt me but in case you ever did you are about to hear the most horrible example of insensitivity displayed by my ex company un named source so we get an email today un named source titled martin luther king luncheon mat k un named source in observance of today s holiday lunch is being provided compliments of tyler gifts please help yourself to lunch now set up in the lunch room un named source guess what we had un named source kfc un named source to honor the king mat no un named source yes mat oh mat my mat holy mat crap un named source lol i know un named source how f ed up is that mat is that really true that s the most messed up thing i have ever heard un named source i swear it un named source buckets of fried chicken biscuits un named source etc un named source i swear mat oh my posted by mat weller on monday january 15 2007 2 comments 09 august 2006 my bad boss voting is wrapping up over at workingamerica org where they re holding the my bad boss competition as part of the wrap up promo for that they re showing off this bit al franken did for them it s worth a look and a chuckle http www workingamerica org badboss franken cfm actually his satire sounds so much like my ex boss the accuracy is scary posted by mat weller on wednesday august 09 2006 3 comments about me name mat weller location reading pennsylvania united states view my complete profile links clientcopia when the stupid leaks in from outside despair inc refreshingly honest gill s cube farm retailworker com jobvent com verizonpathetic com my sister s place thamike com is back need a laugh previous posts dude i really don t know just say no to crack berry cube farm hijinks from seamonkey of seamonkeymusic 2nd annual my bad boss contest put the coffee cup down and step away from the pot the phb is real jesus saves because he knows what the fucking fi best scamback ever there are not words my bad boss dude i really don t know i can relate to that i just started a new job a few weeks ago my supervisor only allows me to do the simple jobs after he looks at them and tells me i can do them so every day the same people that bring in orders come up to me and ask me to take care of them this is despite the fact that every time they do this i tell them they need to bring the order to my supervisor then they give this look like i m a lazy slacker even my manger and department head do this my manager goes so far as to tell i have to learn some time which is true the problem is the orders he brings in need to be done in a hurry and if i mess it up it will make me look really bad and set the company back pretty hard which would probably result in my termination got to love the corporate world lmao the caller was still on hold you gotta love it just say no to crack berry crackberry is evil my last workplace forced us to carry those my stupid boss yelled at me several times when i left the crackberry on my desk and went to the restroom i guess they want to call you even when you are taking a dump that s just stalinist bs cube farm hijinks from seamonkey of seamonkeymusic com 2nd annual my bad boss contest put the coffee cup down and step away from the pot the phb is real jesus saves because he knows what the fucking file menu is for save early save often is my mantra and that s just from working with cad files lol save when you get up to go to the bathroom save when you go get something to drink save the funny thing is this came through my email on the feeds and i didn t realize it was from your blog and as i read the post i was thinking i should send this to nerraux this guy should try working in a church office my boss types on a typewriter this came through my email on the feeds and i didn t realize it was from your blog actually i reposted this after nerraux determined i had a sufficient amount of job related rage and added me to this blog i decided to start with the classics give me a couple of days and i ll tell you all about the poiny haired veep i used to work for until he got all managerial in front of his new boss who soon became his ex boss ex boss is still here veep is not best scamback ever awesome thanks for that i m glad to see something like that out there because i was one of the unfortunate victims of a scam there are not words um wow that was quite the story yipes so has it created waves out there hope you had a great new year and that this year brings much peace and happiness no way that did not happen i cannot believe that anyone can be that stupid insensitive rude blatantly bigoted my bad boss alas if i could i would nominate my boss from my job in ohio lol if you hate your boss you can post about it on this website i found to warn other people its employeedirt com ha ha that is a cool site it looks like they redid the wholesite i am going to register bloggerhacks archives february 2005 march 2005 april 2005 july 2005 august 2005 september 2005 october 2005 november 2005 december 2005 january 2006 february 2006 march 2006 april 2006 may 2006 june 2006 august 2006 january 2007 march 2007 july 2007 september 2007 november 2007 if you should ever want to check me out on myspace com you c...