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the blogganator one part open minded one part conservative all together opinionated the blogganator one part open minded one part conservative all together opinionated home about subscribe to feed progesterone shots and the state of my ass september 7 2017 in uncategorized leave a comment today was my first progesterone shot this is the one they warn you about since it s just as terrifying as you think it ll be here s why the liquid is surprisingly viscous the progesterone comes suspended in sesame oil so basically you re injecting sesame oil into your butt the needle is friggin long and thick because again the liquid is thick so i expect you need a little more needle to draw it into the needle it s terrifying my cousin had the good sense to tell warn me to ice my injection spot i did and i was still terrified to stick that huge ass needle into my rear if you re a little stupid you don t realize you need to swap out the withdrawl needle to the much more reasonable but still long and scary injection needle then it makes the repeated stabbing of your butt more painful luckly i figured it out after a while have i mentioned i m a person who s trying to bring a miniature human into this world i m definitely the right person for that anyway i m pretty confident i hit a nerve today when i finally injected the fluid i felt a shock go down my butt cheek it added to the unpleasantness so my review of the progesterone shot is that it sucks two thumbs way down it was painful to start uncomfortable to feel the liquid being injected into my butt yeah seriously and it s been sore all day absolutely not looking forward to doing that for several more days oh did i mention the bleeding because that little injection site bled like that was trying to make some point beyond the progesterone shots which replaced the lupron shots which i definitely prefer since the needle is way smaller and my stomach way more accessible we also ramped up the hormone pills today here s my fun cocktail of drugs which almost all have side effects which include nausea and gastrointestinal distress metformin this is actually a diabetes pill which has been subscribed to pcos patients as a hormone balancer if you follow me on facebook this is the pill that has made me vomit or dry heave almost every day since i had the egg retrieval i know it s this med since i forget to take it sometimes and only remember when i realize how great i m feeling folic acid pretty common prenatal supplement estradiol patch this is just a supplementary patch similar to a birth control patch but smaller these have been kinda fun it s like having stickers all across your belly which collect all the lint from everything you own did i mention we started with one and now we ve ramped up to 4 thankfully i haven t felt any side effects estrace another estrogen replacement doxycycline this is an antibiotic i took this leading up to the retrieval and it has a huge warning to take with food i didn t the first time i took it in july which resulted in me barfing in a coworker s garbage can i ve learned and now i get to take it twice a day medrol this is apparently some sort of anti inflammatory i assume to allow your body to simmer down after injecting progesterone and sesame oil into your butt anyway here are some photos of my accoutrements here s my morning and evening doses here are my needles for comparison the far right is what i used for the last few weeks to inject lupron into my stomach the far left is the withdrawl needle and the middle is the injection needle and syringe obviously eric stayed in slc after the wedding we attended this weekend he had pre approved fto until the 12th so it made sense for him to hang with his family rather than sit at home in seattle he s been having fun but i think he feels bad that he wasn t here to inject my rear that was supposed to be his main contribution to this part of the process i d like to hold it against him but he s such a delight that i think i ll let it go however this round of hormones has made me a lot more emotional so maybe the ol hormones will have another idea sorry in advance eric or maybe not retrieval update july 14 2017 in uncategorized tags baby family ivf nausea pcos pgs leave a comment we had our retrieval a week ago friday and this is basically how my week has been since thursday vomit surgery bloating nausea a long car ride vomiting a long car ride nausea dry heaving and nausea drug and inlaws in town work sore throat sore throat chills and pain in my ear so you could say things are going great for me right now with my inlaws in town i m a great source of entertainment mostly because i ve been laying like a lump on a log for 3 4 days they ve been here i ve been shocked at the number of people interested in this saga i suppose they like me were always curious about ivf but never really knew what it involved what i ve learned is that it s different for everyone my cousin cousin s wife and i have all gone through it and were shocked at how different each of our meds reactions and cycles progressed obviously it s one part technology advancement my cousin s husband had her ivf baby over 5 years ago and one part reason for infertility my cousin has cysts and endometriosis and i have pcos not to mention private insurance government insurance her husband is active duty or straight out of pocket i ll detail what i know about the retrieval later this weekend let you know the results and most importantly let you know how many embryos were biopsied and are ready for implantation good morning from my ovaries july 6 2017 in uncategorized tags infertility ivf ovaries pcos leave a comment as we progress in the ivf cycle i ve become more and more aware of my ovaries i can actually feel them in my body they hurt i described them to eric like rocks sitting in my pelvis i can feel them getting bigger and heavier it s pretty weird to be honest we had a long 4th of july weekend i was supposed to play in a tournament in san francisco but thursday morning our doctor let me know she d need to see me again friday morning and probably again sunday morning i have polycystic ovarian syndrome which means the possibility of ovarian hyper stimulation syndrome is really high it s always a precarious dance with the meds but in my case i could be pushed over the hormonal threshold really quickly we ended up at the doctor s office thursday friday sunday tuesday and this morning the good news is that the follicles look like they re progressing at a normal rate and we re moving on to implantation on friday truthfully i m pretty nervous about it we opted to do some additional genetic testing on our embryos because the pcos my have exposed the eggs to low grade levels of hormones basically since i was 15 and started my period since i don t ovulate we really haven t had the opportunity to clean out for lack of a better phrase the layers of eggs so it s possible that my eggs may be less than desirable whatever that means we did our trigger shot last night which is the cocktail of meds that tell my body to release the eggs so basically like everything else in life my body has to be told what to do typical i blame my filipino stubbornness in other news i braved wearing white pants today seemed season appropriate turns out a combination of bus commuting makeup application and my general clumsiness do not combine to make white pants a success thank god for tide pens counter intuitive june 22 2017 in uncategorized leave a comment in order to have a baby my husband and i must have sex with a condom for the next few weeks this is baby making in the modern world heartbreak august 8 2013 in uncategorized tags divorce feelings happiness heartbreak marriage moving on realtionships leave a comment a friend of mine recently posted this on facebook heartbroken is a feeling we don t talk much about it s kind of like a marriage of grief and overwhelm like all other feelings it passes at least that s what i m told he and his partner are going through a rough patch in their marriage i don t know him well we were friends through his partner but my heart ached for him many of his friends had consoling words for him most telling him that yes it does pass but it has been the boost i needed to write a post that i ve been mentally composing for some time the movies have really screwed up the way we think about heartbreak in many ways one could look at eric s and my courtship and relationship much like a hollywood script girl was in a bad relationship girl made friends with the quiet dude at work at work some horrible climax happened in that bad relationship in my case he left me for his mother leading girl to pursue a deeper friendship with said dude one night realized we were compatible as more than friends and here we are what has happened in our fairy tale ending has been nothing but perfect we had a fun courtship beautiful wedding and recently moved out of state like all marriages relationships we have had our growing pains however there is something very different this time and i think this is what my friend was saying on facebook the devastating thing about heartbreak is not just that the person i built my life with is gone or that the relationship is over the thing that occasionally wakes me up at night in a cold sweat is that the safety and security of naivete is gone the trust that you have in love conquering all is gone and heartbreak turns out to be the biggest betrayal of trust thankfully for me anyway the has started to subside i m having fewer and fewer incidents of doubt and anxiety the thought that every annoying behavior i have will end our relationship only hits me occasionally ok maybe more than i d like to admit i count my blessings every day that eric understands or is at least patient with where i ve come from we have have the same priorities in this life together and so far we have been able to have an open communication about my issues i wish my friends the best they have always seemed like a fantastic couple i hope they can work it out but if they can t i hope they can find a way to temper the wounds they ve inflicted on each other i hope they can learn to trust themselves and others with their feelings i hope they can find happiness with or without each other truth time march 21 2013 in uncategorized leave a comment ok this is the post where i reinforce how insecure i am my biggest fear is that all the intelligence and skills i think i have are all just hubris what if i m only qualified to work for my parents and by starting over somewhere completely new it will become painfully apparent that i m desperately stunted oh hello crippling self doubt how unpleasant to see you job search march 11 2013 in uncategorized leave a comment it just occurred to me today that i haven t had a job interview in almost a decade my first one went great today now the waiting game begins oh yeah we re moving 46705_208083782669237_851519551_n jpg february 24 2013 in uncategorized leave a comment the clock is ticking february 12 2013 in uncategorized leave a comment what s the statute of limitations for acting like a petulant child because i m starting to get really sick of a select group of people who share my genes behaving like no one else matters oh the gays january 18 2013 in uncategorized leave a comment i had a very interesting conversation with father millo this week about the gays he was far more insightful until i think i have ever given him credit for who knew archives archives select month september 2017 july 2017 june 2017 august 2013 march 2013 february 2013 january 2013 december 2012 november 2012 september 2012 august 2012 july 2012 june 2012 may 2012 april 2012 march 2012 february 2012 january 2012 december 2011 november 2011 october 2011 september 2011 august 2011 july 2011 june 2011 february 2011 january 2011 november 2010 october 2010 september 2010 august 2010 july 2010 june 2010 may 2010 april 2010 march 2010 february 2010 december 2009 november 2009 october 2009 previous entries blog at wordpress com ben eastaugh and chris sternal johnson subscribe to feed subscribe subscribed the blogganator sign me up have a wordpress com account log in now privacy the blogganator view site in reader manage subscriptions sign up log in report this content collapse this bar loading comments write a comment email required name required website create your own website free on wordpress com create your own website start free