Meta tags:
description=adventures in baking, schooling and beating depression;

Headings (most frequently used words):

to, my, on, the, of, letters, sister, what, one, mother, fear, and, share, this, eve, should, have, been, her, 29th, birthday, many, holding, just, more, things, taught, me, or, reflection, day, hoarding, in, athvegas, is, little, death, gluttony, poetry, leaves, ashes, 972, posts, navigation, flickr, photos, insta, grammie, archives, when,

Text of the page (most frequently used words):
the (276), and (249), that (134), you (83), for (58), this (49), but (49), our (48), was (47), not (45), what (41), more (40), have (39), with (37), can (37), one (33), your (33), are (32), been (32), her (31), she (31), all (29), like (27), #things (25), will (24), over (23), when (22), they (22), because (22), fear (22), day (21), there (21), life (21), has (21), had (20), know (20), than (20), about (19), don (18), much (18), his (18), from (17), time (17), just (17), something (16), even (16), 2015 (15), out (15), only (15), want (15), down (14), gluttony (14), share (14), get (13), were (13), years (13), again (13), many (13), still (13), afraid (13), mother (13), now (12), 2007 (12), every (12), think (12), how (12), new (12), loading (11), may (11), very (11), last (11), friend (11), into (11), trying (11), love (11), hard (11), wordpress (10), com (10), other (10), december (10), january (10), february (10), october (10), 2008 (10), 2009 (10), 2010 (10), 2014 (10), money (10), could (10), everything (10), yet (10), who (10), filled (10), need (10), death (10), heart (10), well (10), see (10), away (10), miss (10), april (9), going (9), them (9), make (9), today (9), light (9), being (9), clothes (9), without (9), words (9), here (9), sister (9), comment (8), 2011 (8), little (8), another (8), back (8), then (8), find (8), around (8), after (8), mean (8), heaven (8), myself (8), keep (8), why (8), read (8), people (8), losing (8), opens (8), window (8), november (7), 2012 (7), always (7), let (7), way (7), year (7), buy (7), any (7), where (7), really (7), said (7), shall (7), these (7), while (7), faith (7), hope (7), pain (7), facebook (7), nothing (7), embrace (7), email (6), june (6), march (6), 2013 (6), fall (6), would (6), enough (6), which (6), together (6), ago (6), spencer (6), wanted (6), eating (6), right (6), long (6), through (6), doing (6), him (6), seeking (6), means (6), their (6), body (6), mom (6), closet (6), christianity (6), july (5), august (5), pictures (5), birthday (5), both (5), since (5), though (5), say (5), work (5), talking (5), those (5), first (5), ourselves (5), less (5), went (5), house (5), got (5), ever (5), watch (5), walk (5), family (5), hoarding (5), moments (5), books (5), night (5), christmas (5), thing (5), goods (5), father (5), anything (5), cannot (5), too (5), food (5), world (5), consumption (5), high (5), room (5), system (5), look (5), before (5), knowing (5), sayers (5), made (5), poverty (5), worth (5), sure (5), remember (5), pretend (5), tomorrow (5), home (5), onto (5), god (5), taught (5), suffering (5), glory (5), children (5), cystic (5), fibrosis (5), comments (4), content (4), already (4), blog (4), september (4), found (4), flickr (4), posted (4), good (4), friends (4), also (4), pretty (4), side (4), school (4), reason (4), games (4), left (4), point (4), better (4), times (4), gone (4), didn (4), post (4), feel (4), actually (4), should (4), took (4), summer (4), cold (4), leaves (4), does (4), machine (4), kind (4), hunger (4), makes (4), whole (4), laying (4), hurt (4), told (4), end (4), promised (4), did (4), become (4), own (4), fact (4), sin (4), call (4), lot (4), never (4), goes (4), deeper (4), dorothy (4), some (4), football (4), isn (4), leave (4), comes (4), put (4), most (4), live (4), moment (4), saw (4), talk (4), confront (4), stuff (4), gas (4), thinking (4), ones (4), holding (4), knew (4), possible (4), christ (4), grief (4), pinterest (4), sign (3), 2016 (3), posts (3), child (3), course (3), places (3), hand (3), yeah (3), laundry (3), week (3), full (3), rest (3), clear (3), necessary (3), case (3), bought (3), soon (3), highland (3), step (3), probably (3), ways (3), bills (3), inside (3), walking (3), eat (3), hold (3), part (3), lines (3), maybe (3), phone (3), old (3), tell (3), nights (3), coming (3), homes (3), eyes (3), across (3), hearts (3), hands (3), sleep (3), won (3), must (3), righteousness (3), stop (3), place (3), truly (3), fill (3), loss (3), extra (3), emotional (3), holiday (3), its (3), whatever (3), else (3), jesus (3), war (3), economic (3), present (3), done (3), instead (3), come (3), man (3), power (3), citizens (3), produce (3), running (3), kept (3), exactly (3), public (3), mind (3), writing (3), thanksgiving (3), turkey (3), order (3), mostly (3), thoughts (3), lay (3), lost (3), able (3), rise (3), until (3), lewis (3), longing (3), face (3), pass (3), might (3), thought (3), beautiful (3), depression (3), mental (3), jeans (3), off (3), having (3), doesn (3), half (3), slowly (3), completely (3), wear (3), loved (3), daily (3), angry (3), joy (3), pointing (3), embracing (3), heirs (3), spirit (3), lean (3), breathe (3), hurts (3), wish (3), letters (3), cake (3), baking (3), site (2), website (2), required (2), view (2), log (2), subscribed (2), subscribe (2), thecakewife (2), account (2), archives (2), instagram (2), photos (2), previous (2), blustery (2), entire (2), following (2), big (2), watching (2), rate (2), teacher (2), stay (2), absolutely (2), focused (2), zoe (2), herself (2), car (2), clan (2), ferguson (2), peace (2), seriously (2), spending (2), past (2), counseling (2), marriage (2), stick (2), income (2), happy (2), guess (2), aren (2), falling (2), apart (2), happiness (2), listening (2), seeing (2), passed (2), stone (2), mountain (2), tents (2), deeply (2), needed (2), steps (2), hadn (2), uncategorized (2), final (2), paragraph (2), smile (2), winter (2), earth (2), gather (2), fires (2), warmth (2), water (2), each (2), ashes (2), suddenly (2), within (2), sun (2), store (2), knitting (2), fabric (2), perfect (2), setting (2), bed (2), seek (2), dark (2), save (2), parts (2), presents (2), lives (2), enslaves (2), promise (2), idea (2), broken (2), arrival (2), cross (2), brought (2), ease (2), beloved (2), slip (2), closer (2), bits (2), carry (2), weight (2), piled (2), paper (2), supposed (2), happen (2), fast (2), sense (2), real (2), adventurous (2), political (2), nobody (2), waste (2), rubbish (2), gluttonous (2), ideas (2), wasteful (2), cheap (2), consumer (2), working (2), stuffing (2), breathing (2), lately (2), odd (2), change (2), considered (2), virtue (2), mark (2), nation (2), getting (2), living (2), machines (2), cheaply (2), unless (2), thrown (2), england (2), easily (2), destroy (2), renounced (2), sins (2), availability (2), ww2 (2), certainly (2), globalization (2), easy (2), belly (2), reading (2), profound (2), during (2), countries (2), haven (2), title (2), everyone (2), knows (2), eats (2), ready (2), shetendsherflock (2), motherhood (2), morning (2), sharing (2), usual (2), check (2), presence (2), believe (2), country (2), abandoned (2), ending (2), keeping (2), hell (2), written (2), dying (2), daughter (2), husband (2), terrifies (2), guilt (2), try (2), lose (2), dinners (2), despair (2), speaking (2), short (2), kindness (2), distant (2), okay (2), beginning (2), struck (2), throughout (2), days (2), someone (2), cleaning (2), fit (2), dresses (2), taking (2), towards (2), habits (2), hoarders (2), somewhere (2), rid (2), whether (2), trauma (2), matter (2), hole (2), prices (2), given (2), such (2), church (2), often (2), bucks (2), groceries (2), shoes (2), bad (2), small (2), cardigans (2), meant (2), missed (2), two (2), close (2), pharisee (2), himself (2), thank (2), show (2), moving (2), value (2), take (2), abba (2), prayed (2), begged (2), needs (2), eternal (2), shine (2), struggle (2), aside (2), desires (2), creed (2), chaos (2), lived (2), load (2), creeds (2), ash (2), receive (2), reward (2), received (2), cry (2), making (2), doctrine (2), gospel (2), chapter (2), rereading (2), reflection (2), movements (2), celebrate (2), finding (2), flowers (2), feet (2), season (2), precious (2), cut (2), grounded (2), nerve (2), internet (2), feels (2), stomach (2), future (2), looking (2), video (2), conversation (2), song (2), hear (2), marlene (2), everywhere (2), least (2), voice (2), crying (2), wednesday (2), link (2), awake (2), wanting (2), wasn (2), according (2), journey (2), bake (2), therapist (2), shows (2), next (2), surprised (2), ham (2), recipes (2), music (2), skip (2), started, design, name, write, collapse, bar, manage, subscriptions, reader, report, privacy, join, subscribers, create, free, apr, 2026, 2006, select, month, follow, images, insta, grammie, navigation, marches, bunch, album, party, youngest, sunny, perfectly, park, boy, extremely, unhappy, twitter, cakewife, lots, quick, snaps, pics, camera, exciting, schoolwork, chickens, grow, highly, meter, note, parent, conference, wonderful, grace, understanding, disorganized, smart, talkative, sweetie, unwilling, willing, help, uplifting, loves, kids, classroom, thankful, cultivate, skills, methods, becoming, organized, however, lochaber, axe, norwegian, stuffed, reindeer, handmade, kilt, market, wooden, sword, allowance, promptly, vehicle, carpooled, rampages, begin, ride, arguing, macgregor, remind, fought, english, 300, restored, funny, enjoy, far, dictate, schedule, stopped, dinner, etc, marveling, anti, depressants, changed, amazed, compared, comparing, 000, yearly, higher, insurance, vehicles, debt, reminder, folks, fiscal, circumstances, stable, relationships, hours, sitting, dancing, later, uploading, woo, hoo, chance, top, fun, tried, timer, caber, toss, fish, chips, historic, weaponry, scottish, sides, claim, heritage, primarily, discusses, reearches, macdonald, clans, maternal, paternal, respectively, died, pipe, drum, bands, closed, walked, 972, image, kelsey, garrity, riley, appreciative, nods, william, cullen, bryant, carol, bishop, hipps, stephen, king, rainer, maria, rilke, loveliest, pause, between, opposing, agonies, settles, stories, met, smell, ripe, honeysweet, bitter, burning, remains, preparing, driven, set, outlast, wood, fire, meet, burst, shadowed, lanes, bursting, lit, coursing, branches, trees, stand, beneath, flickering, rays, enter, turning, brightness, flicker, speed, needles, jars, bottles, pages, fluttering, tree, illuminated, bundle, sweaters, settle, bones, prepare, deep, warm, skitter, play, streets, roofs, winds, drive, comfort, redolent, spices, lengthening, approach, drives, mountains, orchards, fields, preserve, bounty, wax, rhapsodic, refrain, barely, poetry, buying, frantically, planning, canning, weekend, gifts, shiny, purchase, purchasers, sacrificed, sales, number, respond, ponder, ruminate, grasp, wrestle, shed, blood, starry, bethlehem, satisfy, choosing, sacrifice, willingness, obey, unto, came, member, station, abilities, pleasure, void, doubt, heartache, exempt, tend, collect, using, product, sex, wine, culture, society, fulfill, ache, approaching, deny, plate, holy, shredded, wrapping, asking, perfume, diamonds, blessed, thirst, matt, ceases, consume, surplus, products, rediscovered, values, attitude, revolutionise, economy, revolution, allow, instrument, satisfactory, thrives, upon, heaps, sheer, field, revise, instruments, heap, doorsteps, backs, bellies, trucks, tanks, metal, explosives, wireless, sets, silk, stockings, drugs, pottery, cosmetics, slop, swill, pour, sewers, palace, built, legislation, crashing, voluntarily, restrict, purchases, meeting, advertisements, mugs, greed, delivered, seize, space, reach, temptation, remarkable, aspect, gula, aware, disquieting, age, whereas, formerly, thrifty, progressive, hustling, intent, raising, standard, interpreted, merely, decent, sufficiency, shelter, attainable, citizen, encouraged, consider, complicated, luxuries, manufactured, prime, civic, vast, quantities, afford, millions, employment, community, starve, wartime, majority, souls, congratulate, particular, vein, increased, significantly, advent, attaching, excerpted, taken, address, morality, council, westminster, seventy, three, reduce, hollowness, satisfied, further, selves, stomachs, guts, wrote, quite, essays, period, argued, western, nations, endured, mass, privation, seems, reduced, seen, overeating, jokingly, referred, gorging, mashed, potatoes, passing, tryptophan, coma, couch, followed, thankfulness, trampled, stores, marked, actual, cost, manufacturing, labor, prisoners, china, slice, pie, woman, carries, hips, drinks, beer, nachos, game, http, posting, bit, follower, honestly, fare, bear, rambling, fanfare, feed, consumerism, confronted, fears, wash, acknowledge, giving, greater, die, thousand, practice, reaches, plucking, eye, kernel, depraved, wishes, beyond, expectation, waiting, insist, accept, retain, smallest, intimate, souvenirs, natural, forever, none, buried, bring, exception, truer, writes, various, great, divorce, mortal, brother, mine, frank, herbert, sci, classic, glorious, escapist, ridiculousness, adopting, accepted, terrifying, scary, overwhelming, dune, killer, brings, total, obliteration, permit, quote, ringing, ears, balance, undone, unsaid, forget, paid, lunches, packed, cooked, unavoidable, nature, heard, once, specter, hovers, send, encouraging, sharp, apologized, pull, potential, hide, remembering, pieces, worked, wearing, lip, ring, class, diy, piercings, rage, teenage, rebellion, searching, identity, whenever, spend, homiest, kitchen, cool, cabin, rural, area, county, bell, resonates, echoes, hearing, intruding, months, moved, issues, mindsets, attitudes, couple, tee, shirts, pair, freeing, act, hangers, baby, tools, chains, assistants, weights, likely, sick, along, line, convinced, illness, adverse, events, cathartic, cleared, kidding, escape, digging, rolling, hardly, recent, lowering, budget, weird, statistic, lower, freed, discretionary, forced, phrase, mindset, american, grossly, misused, solutions, presented, trite, meaningless, tank, pray, breaks, dollars, thrifted, saving, expensive, elsewhere, paycheck, allotted, rent, hang, telling, yourself, growing, worn, sizes, color, rainbow, homelessness, joblessness, eyelids, looked, broke, hated, attempt, justifying, hoards, points, super, anyone, insane, amounts, filling, sometimes, sound, verse, luke, says, stood, praying, swindlers, unjust, adulterers, tax, collector, judgement, convincing, piles, clutter, fine, totally, pairs, chairs, use, wool, blankets, netflix, evenings, chagrin, dealing, used, circling, based, mechanisms, appearing, cogs, gears, directions, programmed, turns, alternate, cleaned, athvegas, health, athens, teaches, pains, cup, farther, fell, ground, hour, spite, filtered, victorious, triumphing, resurrected, messiah, garden, recorded, unrealistic, asked, disobeyed, turned, overreacted, leading, spoken, wrong, decisions, sinned, silence, putting, aggrieved, begrudgingly, painful, unwanted, fiercely, harshly, realistic, certain, achievements, trash, pushing, flesh, embodies, table, prayers, spent, solitude, sacrifices, called, wants, hospital, doctrines, beliefs, guarantee, earthly, valuable, possess, existence, true, glitters, gold, indeed, sufferings, testifies, spiritthat, slaves, rather, adoption, sonship, scripture, romans, begins, plain, mimisjourneyofhope, action, college, successful, business, owners, glittering, accomplishments, holds, trophies, womanhood, personhood, dust, cling, proof, digesting, understand, beside, titled, christian, actions, spread, mixed, feelings, fastidious, chocolate, cards, cheesy, flowery, convey, whose, arms, strong, throwing, begging, contact, usually, sweet, reached, figured, rooted, vagus, aches, chest, heavy, brain, overstimulated, bam, aching, physically, reassuring, temporary, flighty, leaning, forward, ifs, possibilities, exist, optimistic, scares, saturday, hugged, breath, scare, coughing, jag, crops, connect, sherri, youngward, birds, sanitizer, elegance, slowed, chatting, teams, cheered, movies, wait, fully, voicemail, saved, calling, encourage, lift, continues, sit, ability, connector, bringing, miles, religion, race, goodbye, afternoon, opened, eternity, attempts, suitable, crematory, urn, pink, sparkley, keeps, restless, late, attached, thread, led, highways, comforting, surety, feeling, sorrow, await, ladies, distance, arrives, card, sent, constantly, reassure, cared, mutual, overwhelmed, starting, sink, veterans, missing, gratitude, acknowledgement, families, laid, wealth, history, contained, few, sentences, sorts, cracking, webmd, cancer, diagnosis, acute, near, google, chat, lump, throat, plant, botanical, gardens, prolong, healthy, longer, track, lungs, miraculously, recover, due, perseverance, doctors, addressing, favorite, artist, best, striving, prepares, enormity, dad, quickly, messy, harder, expect, lemon, anymore, sweets, compliant, patient, liked, ask, expected, office, cousin, wall, phrasing, caught, spring, cherry, blossoms, blue, skies, weather, easter, digestive, shutting, everyday, cause, muscle, spasms, injure, injured, shouldn, yesterday, goodwill, realized, grieving, concentrate, return, emails, cook, eve, 29th, menu, adventures, schooling, beating,

Text of the page (random words):
wn in a hospital room at my sister s side she taught me that this life is worth nothing only worth living if we can take every moment we are given and shine the light of heaven on it that the only things that are worth keeping and embracing are the things with eternal value and that not only is it hard it is a struggle pushing aside the flesh setting aside our desires she embodies what i read this week in creed and chaos christianity is fiercely and even harshly realistic that there are certain eternal achievements that make even happiness look like trash her joy in life has been pointing us towards the cross both pointing us to christ s suffering and pointing to the glory to come if we can embrace it she s not been suffering in silence putting on an aggrieved face and doing what needs to be done begrudgingly she s been embracing the suffering of this world the hard the painful the unwanted and doing it with joy and just so you don t think i have a completely unrealistic view of my mother i know there have been many many times she has not wanted to do what she has been asked disobeyed turned away begged not to do what lay before her she s overreacted missed god s leading spoken from hurt made the wrong decisions she s been angry and sinned and yet and yet in spite of all of those things what filtered through was this in order to embrace heaven we must embrace jesus not just the victorious triumphing over all the world resurrected messiah but the one who begged his father in the garden as recorded in mark 14 35 going a little farther he fell to the ground and prayed that if possible the hour might pass from him 36 abba f father he said everything is possible for you take this cup from me yet not what i will but what you will i can think of little else of more value than this than what she taught me and teaches me still everything is possible but what we are promised is suffering and after these pains fall away we are promised heaven like loading february 7 2015 february 7 2015 daily life leave a comment athens hoarding mental health pharisee poverty fear and hoarding in athvegas alternate title how i cleaned out my closet yeah i m still circling around the way i have fear based mechanisms in place all over my life they keep appearing new cogs and gears moving me in directions i thought i was programmed to it turns out maybe i m not supposed to be this way i watch a lot of netflix in the evenings after zoe goes to bed and much to the chagrin of spencer and pretty much all my friends i love the show hoarders and anything dealing with hoarding in the past i used to watch it think to myself well thank god i m not that bad does that sound like a verse luke 18 11 says the pharisee stood and was praying this to himself god i thank you that i am not like other people swindlers unjust adulterers or even like this tax collector so yeah maybe there was some judgement but there was a whole lot more convincing myself that my small piles of clutter were fine sure i totally need 18 cardigans or 8 pairs of jeans i don t wear or chairs i can t use in my house yet or extra wool blankets or books and books and books and books and in my attempt at justifying my own hoards i completely missed the point well two points one that there s a deeper reason for my holding onto things and two i was super close to falling down that hole myself anyone who knew me 10 years ago and saw the insane amounts of stuff i kept filling our house with probably knows how close i actually was and still am sometimes so what about my closet i had dresses i hadn t worn in years jeans 2 sizes too small and cardigans in every color of the rainbow even though i only wear 4 or 5 of them for me with the homelessness the joblessness the despair of our previous years still written on the back of my eyelids every time i looked in the closet i saw money the fact that i had so many clothes meant that no matter how broke we got i d still have clothes sure i hated half of them but at one time i loved them and if i really had to i could wear them the phrase poverty mindset is thrown around the american church and i think it is grossly misused and the solutions presented are often trite and meaningless the thing is poverty thinking is focused on the now you ve got 20 bucks okay put gas in your tank buy 10 bucks in groceries and pray nothing breaks spending 5 dollars on thrifted shoes instead of saving for new more expensive ones makes more sense you know why because as soon as you save some money something bad will happen and you won t get your shoes you ll need your money elsewhere your paycheck is completely allotted to food and gas and groceries and bills and rent and there s no room for new clothes better hang onto everything because there s no telling when you ll get to buy something for yourself or your husband any money for clothes goes to the growing child how do you escape that i don t know i m only now having to confront it because we re actually slowly digging out from that hole are we rolling in it not hardly but the recent lowering of gas prices has given us breathing room in the budget in a way we ve not had in years it s weird to be such an economic statistic but we are lower gas prices has freed up discretionary income and forced me to look at my hoarding habits so i still watch hoarders and i will likely keep doing so but now i can look and see people who are sick with fear and somewhere along the line something convinced them that they can t get rid of anything whether that something is mental illness trauma or other adverse events doesn t matter i watch it and i want to get rid of half the things in our house in a way it s cathartic for me because i have to confront my stuff i cleared out half my closet last night and i m not even kidding i ve only got clothes that fit me and not only that clothes that i like i kept a couple of tee shirts that don t fit 2 dresses and one pair of jeans everything else is stuff i like not just stuff i have and that s freeing the act of taking the clothes off the hangers was a step towards walking away from the fear of not having enough i still need to confront my emotional eating and my poverty food habits but i m taking baby steps i will be able to get the things i need and i don t need to hold onto everything just in case the things i carry with me should be tools and not chains assistants not weights i know this is a very long blog post to just talk about cleaning out my closet but i had deeper issues to confront and i want to keep doing it i m cleaning out my mental closet trying to put away mindsets and attitudes that do nothing but destroy me i want to walk away from fear like loading january 15 2015 january 15 2015 faith leave a comment c s lewis death depression fear motherhood fear is the little death ever read something that you re struck by like a bell that resonates throughout your thoughts echoes through your days i certainly hope so it s like hearing the words of someone you love intruding into your thoughts months after they ve moved away years after they ve gone home today i was on facebook and saw a friend remembering her mother a mother i remember in bits and pieces as well the friend and i went to high school together and her mom worked at our high school as well her mom told my mom i was wearing my lip ring to class diy at home piercings were all the rage in the 90 s okay and that was the beginning of my teenage rebellion depression searching for identity but her mom was always so kind to me whenever i would spend the night she had the homiest kitchen in this really cool cabin of a house in what was then rural area in our county she also passed away a year ago a year ago today i heard once that people fear speaking in public more than they fear dying i don t mind speaking in public but the thought of this short beautiful life ending before i am ready for it to terrifies me the presence of loss the specter of death hovers over our every step and yet all i do is pretend it away pretend that i can send that email encouraging a friend on another day pretend that my sharp words can be apologized for tomorrow pretend there is another day another time to walk in kindness pretend that i can be distant in my fear pull away because of potential pain hide my heart away and keep to myself this isn t easy to balance on one hand there is the guilt of all the things left undone the words left unsaid as i try to forget that i might lose my mom my sister my daughter my family and everything in just a moment and yet there are still bills to be paid work to be done lunches to be packed dinners to be cooked and i could slip so easily into despair if all i thought of was the unavoidable nature of loss i m going to one day lose everyone i love the quote that s been ringing in my ears today is this one i must not fear fear is the mind killer fear is the little death that brings total obliteration i will face my fear i will permit it to pass over me and through me it s from frank herbert s sci fi classic dune and while most of it is glorious escapist ridiculousness there is something to be said for adopting this idea to let what terrifies me be accepted as terrifying it is scary and overwhelming and yet and yet i am afraid of losing the people i love i am afraid of my sister dying even though i know it is only the end of her mortal body i am afraid of losing my brother i am afraid of losing my daughter like one friend has already i am afraid of losing my mother and my father as another friend has i am afraid of losing my husband to death like a friend of mine has i am afraid and yet c s lewis has written so many many words that bring light to my heart and today is no exception i find myself longing to read the great divorce again to remember that every fear every hope that i lay down will one day rise again made truer made right lewis writes in various places on these ideas every natural love will rise again and live forever in this country but none will rise again until it has been buried if we insist on keeping hell or even earth we shall not see heaven if we accept heaven we shall not be able to retain even the smallest and most intimate souvenirs of hell i believe to be sure that any man who reaches heaven will find that what he abandoned even in plucking out his right eye has not been lost that the kernel of what he was really seeking even in his most depraved wishes will be there beyond expectation waiting for him in the high countries so today i am confronted with my fears and in seeking to let them wash over me acknowledge their presence without giving them power and believe that one day i will see my family in the high country that the things i lay down let go of will be abandoned for a greater hope that this is not the end and my heart does not need to die a thousand times a day before the ending comes now to put these words into practice like loading december 3 2014 december 3 2014 faith leave a comment christmas consumerism dorothy l sayers globalization gluttony thanksgiving gluttony so i ve been posting a bit at shetendsherflock wordpress com mostly about motherhood and what it means to be a follower of jesus i posted there this morning on gluttony and i honestly feel like it s worth sharing over here i know it s not my usual fare but bear with my rambling thoughts i ll get back to sharing pictures soon always check the flickr account as i post without fanfare on my flickr feed also found at http shetendsherflock wordpress com 2014 12 03 gluttony and its holiday you d think by the title of this post that i m talking about thanksgiving the holiday of overeating jokingly referred to as turkey day because what it s really about it gorging ourselves on turkey and mashed potatoes and passing into a tryptophan coma on the couch while watching football that s what thanksgiving is right followed by another day of thankfulness while people get trampled in stores for goods marked down to their actual cost of manufacturing because everyone knows labor from political prisoners in china is cheap that s gluttony isn t it turkey stuffing and just one more slice of pie gluttony is that woman who carries extra weight around on her hips her belly her heart gluttony is the man who drinks just one more beer eats one more order of nachos at the game and is still ready for more it s easy to reduce gluttony to over eating the hollowness of a belly that is never satisfied but i think it goes deeper than that further into our selves than our stomachs deeper than our guts into our hearts i ve been reading dorothy sayers a lot lately and she wrote some quite profound essays on the sins of the body and the heart made ever more profound as she was writing during ww2 in england she was writing during a period that can be argued as the last time western nations have endured mass poverty and privation i know there have been other countries other times but it seems to me that the availability of consumer goods was reduced in a way that we haven t seen since in that vein knowing that the availability of goods has increased significantly after ww2 certainly with the advent of globalization i am attaching the following paragraph of excerpted lines it was taken from an address to the public morality council at westminster 10 23 41 seventy three years ago let that rest in your mind while you read her words but on the whole england in wartime is not a place where the majority of us can very easily destroy our souls with gluttony we may congratulate ourselves that if we have not exactly renounced our sins this particular sin at any rate has renounced us let us seize this breathing space while we are out of reach of temptation to look at one very remarkable aspect of the sin of gula we have all become aware lately of something very disquieting about what we call our economic system an odd change has come over us since the arrival of the machine age whereas formerly it was considered a virtue to be thrifty and content with one s lot it is now considered to be the mark of a progressive nation that it is filled with hustling go getting citizens intent on raising their standard of living and this is not interpreted to mean merely that a decent sufficiency of food clothes and shelter is attainable by all citizens it means much more and much less than this it means that every citizen is encouraged to consider more and more complicated luxuries necessary to his well being the gluttonous consumption of manufactured goods had become before the war the prime civic virtue and why because the machines can produce cheaply only if they produce in vast quantities because unless the machines can produce cheaply nobody can afford to keep them running and because unless they are kept running millions of citizens will be thrown out of employment and the community will starve the point is that without any legislation whatever the whole system would come crashing down in a...