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so i find comfort in her being with me for baby 2 all needed parties have been informed of the situation shane goes and changes out of his work clothes and then comes and sits in our office with me he got home around 9 30pm from work b c he stayed late to get office work done in case baby decided to come tonight this wasn t the first or the second or even the third time he had stayed late to get things done in case baby decided to come my dear sweet husband couldn t exactly shut down green hills sod farm and just wait for baby girl to arrive instead he was running his sod business and trying to predict when his baby was going to make her debut needless to say neither one of us is psychic shane is wearing the same shirt he wore when makenna was born he smiles about it i like his nostalgia and tradition he s committing to i m at the desk working on doterra since it s the last day of the month and i have a qualification coming and want to make sure i reach it as i work contractions keep coming and i shift around seeking a comfortable position while i smile and chat with shane to distract myself honey do you need to go lay down my husband is so sweet and concerned i ve just got to finish a few things and then i will i get a couple of texts from my upline checking on how i m doing with my end of month i reached my goal and they send their congrats they don t know i m in labor it s 10 38pm shane and i go to the bedroom to rest i have shane apply the pads from my tens unit to help with back labor i m not sure if it helps but it doesn t feel bad so i m all for it i also ask him to rub some black pepper and basil doterra essential oils on my lower back to ease my discomfort i notice their warming effect and they do soothe the rough edges of my back labor i ll end up using a myriad of oils on baby and me postpartum and every day after to help support my recovery with everything from tightening of the skin to emotional support for me my midwife has been incredibly impressed with my recovery as have i because it s been faster than it was with makenna and immune digestive and neurological support for baby girl oh and i never once had to take a pain killer postpartum my oils did the trick needless to say i m in love with these oils i lay on my side which feels pretty good my contractions have increased gradually over the last hour i need to focus my breathing through them now to manage the pain shane reaches over to give a reassuring touch as he listens to my breathing deepen and then relax with each passing contraction i last about 3 contractions before i feel the need to get out of bed i head to the living room where the big silver yoga ball is at i feel comfortable sitting bouncing on that shane and i talk a bit we talk about what s about to come about how i feel somewhat in denial that i m actually in labor because we thought it would happen two weeks earlier so at this point it seemed like i would just be pregnant forever talking to shane soothes me he is my best friend and i m grateful for how he knows me i have complete trust in him contractions continue to come and as they wash over me i breathe into them and visualize my uterus contracting pushing the baby down and my cervix dilating i feel like it s time to call kim and let her know it s time to come shane makes the call he doesn t know what to tell kim other than i asked him to call her and tell her to come i probably should have been doing the talking but really all i would have said was that things are more intense and i have a feeling it is the right time to come of course i didn t communicate that to shane i just asked him to call her oh well it s now 11 36pm 12 07am michelle arrives she comes in and makes herself at home i m grateful for that last time shane and i had this urge which we acted on to entertain her i still remember her telling us in her incredibly sweet michelle way that she knows what her job entails and she is fine sleeping on couches to pass time when called too early or getting herself water food etc she nonchalantly sits on our living room floor and pulls out what appears to be knitting she chats with us as i continue to bounce on the ball we small talk for a bit which is what i want because it does distract me and passes the time plus michelle is fun to talk to i promise this isn t an advertisement post for her but seriously she is an amazing photographer and person cairo our 70 lb rhodesian ridgeback is interested in what michelle is up to and sniffs her and her gear once she is satisfied she wanders back over to her bed if cairo gets intrusive we plan to put her in shane s truck in the garage she loves to sleep in there when shane is at the farm early in the morning it seems like a great plan to us yes our dog is at the house as is makenna she is sound asleep in her bed when i put her to bed at 8 30pm that night i had a feeling it was the last time she would go to sleep as our only baby but i had had that feeling before i did have a stronger feeling that i would really go into labor that night but that also could have been me willing it simply because since leaving work at 5pm that day i had jumped on two trampolines walked for 45 minutes drunk a horrible concoction of castor oil black and blue cohosh all within red raspberry leaf tea along with dousing my belly over and over with what was probably ½ bottle of clary sage but i digress back to makenna being at home asleep in her bed while i m laboring in the other room our plan was that if i went into labor at night we would simply leave makenna undisturbed in her bed since my labor with her was fast and we could assume i would be fast with baby 2 we assumed we wouldn t need to worry about her waking up while i was still in labor plus makenna is a good sleeper i m glad i m in labor at night because it is nice to not have to coordinate with someone to take her or wake someone up in the middle of the night to head to the hospital instead her schedule remains uninterrupted and she has zero idea anything is taking place in our home 12 28am kim my midwife arrives she doesn t knock she knows she doesn t need to who else would be at our door at this hour i m still on the ball and can see my front door i see her hand place a bag inside my door and then another and then another i continue to chat while having contractions 12 40am lexi kim s assistant arrives she talks about how she was going to sleep for a little bit before she came but then couldn t or just didn t i don t remember which lexi was going to be unavailable to help with my birth had i gone into labor on my due date i was impressed with her when i met her several weeks back so i m glad she is able to be the assistant instead of someone i ve never met kim and lexi immediately start to set things up i m not paying much attention to exactly what they are doing but it is obvious they have a system and a routine they need to know where all supplies are when they need them lexi asks where the bathroom is that i ll be using and then scurries off with some supplies in arms i continue to laugh and chat with michelle and shane due to my chatting and laughing kim rightfully asks if i m really in labor yes i reassure her i am most definitely in labor they can t tell that every minute i focus on my breathing and limit my talking as a contraction comes it s getting more difficult to do this but i m doing what i m doing to distract myself and keep things light the ball is no longer providing the relief i need it s time to change it up i get up and wander down the hall to the bedroom again shane follows i crawl back in bed like i did before i relax in between contractions and then breathe deeply through the contractions this is my pain management i last only last a few minutes in bed before i go to the floor at the foot of the bed and drop to my hands and knees for whatever reason being down on all fours is the most comfortable position shane knows that my labors are strong in my back he immediately puts his thumbs on my low back and begins to massage i go through a couple of contractions in this position i hear footsteps coming down the hall it s lexi coming to take my vitals and it s 1 15am she is using a new bp cuff that kim got and it proves to be troublesome due to the pump and the gauge being one piece and the air release valve being brand new if any of you have ever taken bp it is always goofy using a new cuff i let her know that i have a bp cuff that is just like kim s old one so i offer it to her shane grabs it out of my dental hygiene box i keep in the closet i m a nerd like that she uses that without any issue lexi apologizes profusely about having to take my bp a couple of times especially since i was having contractions during the process i m not annoyed by any means i totally understand what she is going through and i m glad i could help besides my bp cuff could use some use she puts the doppler on my belly to listen for baby s heartbeat 90 beats min before during and after contractions all is well i move from the bedroom back down to the living area for whatever reason i decide to sit on the barstool at the counter in the kitchen shane grabs one and sits behind me waiting for the next contraction so he can massage i ask him to rub more essential oils on my back he is the most amazing birth coach ever he whispers encouraging words in my ear every now and then you are amazing kim comes over and asks if i want an exam we discuss what this entails with the frequency and intensity of my contractions i don t want an exam i haven t had a single one yet in the pregnancy so why start now lets be honest ladies it s never fun having someone peer up our nether regions and given what i ve learned about how effacement and centimeters dilated means absolutely nothing about when birth with happen i m happy to pass on an exam case in point with makenna s labor i was told how dilated i was and the rate of my progression which led me astray i don t really want to go down that road again i decline this is kim s preference as well i continue to breathe deeply through each contraction which are in what kim will later call a strange pattern i tend to have 2 3 contractions right on top of each other where the end of one immediately starts the next contraction with a break after each set rather than one contraction followed by a rest followed by another contraction when i do get breaks i joke and chat i feel like i might puke it s not that impending feeling that i am for sure going to toss my cookies but i have a bit of that inkling lexi grabs a big mixing bowl from the cupboard and places it on the floor under my face as i m on all fours as she places the bowl under me this thought passes through my head i hope i don t puke because i don t think i ll ever be able to use this bowl again and i like this bowl i don t express this thought out loud and wonder if shane is having the same thought as i am shane massages perfectly and lexi offers coaching as well when the contraction ends i tell kim and lexi the puke story from my birth with makenna where i got reprimanded from my nurse when i puked and didn t use the official puke bag because i was in the bathroom going through transition alone while her precious puke bag sat on the table next to my hospital bed she was lucky i used the trashcan shane michelle and i laugh about the absurdity of that moment over 2 years ago kim and lexi laugh too over the course of the next 2 hours i continue to breathe deeply through each contraction focusing on my uterus contracting and my cervix dilating to allow the baby to push down and out lexi continues to take my vitals and check on baby s heart rate every 30 minutes at times i say encouraging words to myself out loud to keep myself motivated to encourage myself and to remember there will be an end even though right now i sometimes think there won t be i offer myself words of encouragement out loud when my mind wanders to negative thoughts i can do this i m doing this yes you can i hear from lexi shane leans forward and whispers his encouragement again too you have great pain management skills comments kim i could really use an atta girl at that moment so i m grateful for her comment and lexi and shane s encouragement i m grateful for my team they are all fabulous and so helpful i find most comfort comfort doesn t describe what i m feeling by any means but words are inadequate to describe the incredible process that is labor and birth during a contraction on my hands and knees and then relax by sitting on my knees between contractions during this time kim and lexi fill the tub that is in our dining room the time is now 3 13am i get up to use the bathroom in between contractions i want to use it quickly because lets be honest who wants to have a contraction whilst sitting on the toilet no one i finish and we are out of toilet paper i m kicking myself for not refilling that earlier in the day when i noticed we were low i send shane to get more from the other end of the house he hurries i work through the next contraction on my own rather than embracing that contraction like i try to do with all contractions to have them progress me along i simply endure it yikes i go back to the living room and get on my hands and knees for contractions up until now i ve been breathing deeply and need occasional reminders to breathe from my gut now i have a moan in my breathing and you can hear that i want to cry this is incredibly intense and i want to escape kim asks me what it feels like it hurts in my hips i explain through a voice clearly showing my desire to cry and escape what i m experiencing shane tells me later that at that point all he wanted to do was take the pain from me he wanted to bear my burden and allow me respite i knew he would have these feelings at some point during my labor because he expressed those same feelings to me after my labor with makenna i find the parallel of labor and birth to the savior s atonement beautiful just like only he could suffer for our sins and allow us everlasting life only can a mother labor and give birth to a new life this is the biggest reason why i seek to have my babies without pain medication i feel this process is an incredible gift from a loving heavenly father not a punishment or a burden for me it draws me nearer to the savior because in those moments when i think i can no longer bear the burden of labor and i wish more deeply than i ve ever wished for anything in my life to have it all taken from me i understand why the savior asked his father to remove the cup he had been asked to carry i could go on but i ll leave my thoughts on the subject at that lexi feels my belly and uses the doppler baby is really low she has a sense of urgency in her voice that i like and dislike all at the same time i know baby being low is good because it means things are progressing and i also know baby being low means i m about to really go to work would y...