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ted h m androgynous leisure wear tops there was a fleck just a fleck but a fleck all the same a fleck of hope a fleck of tweed curiosity well and truly spiked i cycled closer the fleck became a flood and the flood became a sea all of a sudden i was surrounded by waves of people who looked like looked like me looked like me but did not sound like me i hasten to add it turned out that i had chanced upon an event where swedes tweeded up and went for a bit of a jolly on their bicycles the tweed ride as it was referred to was to help raise money for those in less fortunate countries before i knew it i was considered part of the throng and what with the novelty of my plummy english accent asked to lead the charge how very philanthropic of them i pondered to myself while cycling and nodding and greeting every bamboozled bystander these fuddily dressed fund raisers were after all coming to the aid of poorer countries many of which are poor as the result of other countries past colonial ambitions and as a modicum of investigation was to later inform me it was not just individual tweeded twits like myself who pitch in the swedish nation as a whole seems to be quite the charitable collective in fact in recent history sweden has proportionately topped the charity charts when it comes to giving overseas aid not a bad claim when you consider that unlike the united kingdom and the united states sweden has not actually caused fair swathes of global strife for three years in a row sweden was considered the country which dug the deepest in its tweed or otherwise pockets from 2012 2013 it donated 0 99 per cent of its gross national income shunted to no 2 donor only by luxembourg which donated 1 0 per cent of its gni countries which perhaps should have felt slightly more guilt tripped into helping others like the us and the uk gave 0 19 per cent and 0 56 per cent respectively but the swedes not only give in abundance they also receive in abundance now you must excuse my sudden outburst of newsbreakery but you are catching sweden at possibly its altruistic apex the current syrian crisis has created the biggest refugee crisis since world war ii and among the eu countries it is only sweden which is offering permanent residency for those fleeing the conflict during the last eight weeks 4 500 syrians have sought residency here with a further 7 500 already here on a temporary permit now being allowed to stay permanently with the additional promise of an opportunity to save family members from their shelled homeland for the swedes charity really does begin at home so while that fleck of tweed may have given me hope in a country so normally bereft of weekend whimsy it may have also given an awful lot more hope to countries bereft of any whimsy and water the dippylomat esq for more dippyloinsights may i humbly invite you to my facebook page posted in culture cycling economics fashion gothenburg hodge podge immigration india migration minnesota sweden tagged aid asylum seekers charity cycling israel middle east refugees syria tweed 14 comments dispatch 36 d day posted on october 3 2013 by the dippylomat esq a bit of a dandy a bit of a cavalier and a lot of a charmer rogue british official the dippylomat esq investigates oh curses i am going to be late i ve not had this suit laundered since remembrance day and it looks like i wore it to wade through a bath of corgis i am not even sure of where i am going but all will be tickety boo i ll just follow the masses the masses of solemn stoney faced swedes wearing their sunday best and silently shuffling towards the sounds of tolling bells but there are no masses there is no solemness no stoniness no shuffling and no tolling bells no one is even wearing their sunday best they are just like this time last week wearing their wednesday worst i double check my diary yes it is october 3rd even the newscaster seems to have omitted the relevancy of this day from the top story agenda i may not be entirely au fait with the sing song swedish vernacular only a swedish anchorman can make a bombed body count sound like a nordic nursery rhyme but no i would have spotted it i would have spotted it by the grainy sepia stuttering film footage which would have certainly served as a backdrop today is just a reminder that the gregorian calendar is peppered with dates loaded with sobering spectres of the past take 9 11 for example who can fend off the gravitas of that anniversary the day that wretch william wallace and his cohorts slain thousands of english infantry at the battle of stirling bridge on the 11th september 1297 and now today is it really only me that remembers the significance of october 3rd the anniversary of the day the second world war came to sweden peace loving sweden opted of course for neutrality but let this dippylomat tell you what passes for neutrality in sweden may not necessarily fit with your perceived definition of neutrality that being staying well out of it reigning king gustaf v knew exactly where his loyalties lay with the nazis the silly old sausage so sympathetic and socially entwined was he that pre war days were all sherry and sodomy with the ss with continued support during the war with private letters to hitler congratulating him on his victories but the toothless sentiments of senile old racists aside what exactly did those swedes do under the guise of neutrality well quite frankly some pretty spiffing work most notably one might argue they did more for the jews than any other country in 1943 they gave refuge to all but 450 of occupied denmark s jews by ferrying them across german guarded waters hurrah in fact jews from all over europe found refuge in sweden hurrah hurrah they were certainly pretty handy when it came to helping out our surveillance peeps wonderful in fact they did all manner of congenial acts to help the allied forces fight off the scallywag nazis right down to the nonchalant deposition of mines in its waters but they didn t always get things right sometimes they went far right take for example 1941 s midsummer crisis when german troops stranded in norway needed to get a bit of a wriggle on and head tank laden to the eastern front in finland the most direct route being via sweden the swedes should have told them to take the long way around but instead let them travel roughshod over neutral land thus helping the nazi campaign tut tut such trite matters pale into insignificance when one considers how sweden aided and abetted germany s war machine with the sale of 10 million tonnes of iron ore every year to nazi weapon factories far cleverer people than dare i say i argue that if sweden had ceased this trade then world war ii might have lasted just six months my my sweden how do you live with that and the sour cherry on the bitter cake has surely got to be the extradition of the balts when starting in 1945 the swedish government took the decision to hand over in the main latvian refugees and soldiers who had fought the russians tooth and nail back to the soviet union to help populate its gulags a somewhat embarrassing stain on the pages of swedish history books a number of those facing extradition simply chose to pop their own clogs in a bid to avoid a lifetime of borscht and beatings and that my dears is why no one really cares to remember the anniversary of the date that the first and possibly only bomb fell on the swedish city of malmö no one died during the micro blitz the bomb landed in a park just yards away from a duck pond sweden s d day the d is for duck the dippylomat esq for more dippyloinsights may i humbly invite you to my facebook page posted in denmark finland history migration minnesota tagged holocaust judaism second world war 7 comments dispatch 35 abroad posted on september 20 2013 by the dippylomat esq a bit of a dandy a bit of a cavalier and a lot of a charmer rogue british official the dippylomat esq investigates i am having a smidge of a pioneer i am in a boat hurtling towards a far flung island perhaps the farthest flung of all islands inconveniently sited as it is among an indian ocean archipelago there is sand in my brogues heat rash under my cummerbund and a stowaway woman who is insisting i owe her 300 baht for services rendered i am way outside of my michelin starred comfort zone i am here to see something which defies both time and logic something hidden behind the narrowed vine entwined inlet entrance to a cave something i am informed has to be seen to be believed and here i now am standing in front of it something which attracts both sight seers and anthropologists alike it s the it s the most atrocious bit of artwork mankind has ever managed to spew out quite who drew it and quite when they drew it remains a mystery but the depiction of a certain ilk of boat used by a certain ilk of plunderer has given this grotto its name the viking cave hidden away on the thai island of phi phi thai swots have concluded nothing but inconclusiveness regarding who owned the ships which inspired the scrawl but whatever swedish dalliances have occurred in thailand during previous eons one thing is for sure the swedes now rampage through the south east asian peninsula with all the dignity and decorum of their savage forefathers in fact tourist tally totals confirm that 5 per cent of the swedish population now travel there every year but this is all a very recent phenomenon there was a long time when the politely nationalistic swedes cared very little for travel abroad where better to sun one s self than the tylösand beach in sweden where better to ski dislocate one s shoulder than the mountainous resort of sälen in sweden and where better for a booze fuelled rambunctious retreat than in swe denmark however the swede s blasé approach to world war ii eventually paid dividends and led to a more adventurous holidaymaker while the rest of europe emptied their collective coffers to repair rebuild and in some cases regret in neutral sweden it was volvo building pine tree cutting business as usual union friendly swedes are awarded generous paid holiday quotas combine that with extra kronor in the economy saved by not having to sweep up the bombed remnants of stockholm and add to the mix the birth of the chartered flight and bam the swede abroad was born but unlike previous breachers of the border made up of waves of emigration this time the tickets were not one way they were coming back in the last half of the 20th century they bumbled their way around europe but then they found it the antithesis to sweden thailand it had been there all along but no one had bothered to look the swedes finally came face to face with the polar opposite of their culture and climate and they loved it in 1992 100 00 of the 8 5 million population opted for a thai tropical tan a decade later this figure doubled by 2010 a staggering five per cent of the population were jetting some 5 000 miles eastward bound and now in the first four months of 2013 the figure has risen by 9 2 per cent with average stays of 19 days the longest visits among other european countries it is presumably just a matter of time before red meatball curry and noodles vendors appear on the streets of nonthaburi city no one doubts the scandinavian presence here now no need for carbon dating and indiana jones esque cave explorations with many swedes ripping up their return tickets they certainly seem to be making themselves feel at home or making their homes feel like sweden back in the upper reaches of the northern hemisphere you cannot escape it darn near every swede you meet now has a buddha ornament perched on a shelf a naive drug peddling nephew festering in a thai prison or a rash they just cannot seem to shift from that night in bangkok toodle pip and โฮเวอร์คราฟท์ของผมเต็มไปด้วยปลาไหล the dippylomat esq for more dippyloinsights may i humbly invite you to my facebook page posted in alcohol bangkok climate culture denmark economics ex pats gothenburg history ikea migration minnesota sweden thailand travel tagged bangkok gothenburg humour mailmä minnesota stockholm sweden thailand 10 comments dispatch 34 laundry posted on september 13 2013 by the dippylomat esq a bit of a dandy a bit of a cavalier and a lot of a charmer rogue british official the dippylomat esq investigates she can be a cheap nasty trollop but i might just forgive her a soul destroying harlot but who am i to suggest she has not sought redemption for her sins indeed you will struggle to find many swedes who will not be thanking mother nature for her delivery of this year s sumptuous summertide the dog days here are routinely and ruthlessly curbed but this year for reasons one should not dare question we received a thorough thawing in order to suckle the last drop from summer s teat i decided to take advantage of a sultry september evening one never knows whether this will be the last wisp of warmth before we take that icy plummet into the polar winter so off i tootle trouser in sock to take in the sights sounds and the smells of sunny sweden as i freewheel i momentarily close my eyes and scoop in deep breaths of the pure dusky air to spark memories of the year s sun drizzled frivolities the smell of summer meadows joyously tickles my memory and i am whisked back to the frollicks of a certain field a picnic and an amusing if not somewhat embarrassing incident with lady dippylomat involving a haystack and a pitchfork i cycle on and the woody waft of nordic pine engulfs me i am back back camping under the stars in a forest clearing with just a hip flask and a reservation at a nearby 5 star hotel to keep me safe what memories will flood back with the next aromatic inhale my oh my of course it is the smell of the tropics coconut and vanilla wafting on a cooling sea breeze whoa wait a tickety tock the smell of tropical shores in sweden i don t think so come to bally well think about it you re not really going to smell nordic pine or summer meadows as you ween your wheels down a cycle path lined with looming concrete clad tower blocks but as every swede knows the smells are there they linger in every suburban street in every swedish city in the same way warm patches seem to permeate the shallow end of a municipal swimming pool so too do these faux natural smells permeate sweden what the devil is that all about one will do one s best to explain it all starts with a farmer standing outside of his ramshackle farmhouse and ends with the abundant use of fabric conditioners let me abridge some contemporary history to enlighten your good selves for context we must consider both the swede s incessant desire to make things fair and their more than passing obsession with modernity pleasing aesthetics greatest foe where we might see rustic you can be assured that a swede will see rundown and in the early part of the 20th century rundown was precisely what sweden was idyllic village life had gone to pot as the country finally woke up to industrialisation and towns w...