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al truth and there is something there of comfort here we are and things stay a while when i woke i managed to pick the notes out on my father s violin though i don t know how to play i remember a musician friend later told me that the song perfectly fit the violin strings setup of intervals of fifths the song starting with the open a string repeating then i remember creating the next note on the next string and so on on each string but i can t remember exactly what i did though i remember the tune but maybe humans get to be busted back to interstellar hydrogen to start an evolutionary apprenticeship at the cosmic bottom what does the tao te ching say about dust things are permanently temporary in form but temporarily permanent energy is constant matter is always why do these things outlive us beings because they do not promote their own existence place yourself last and thereby be first the earth and the universe have no attachments everything is dust to them within them so too the wise have no permanent attachments to them also people are dust ideas are dust all this is from an interesting translation of the tao te ching a sort of contemporary western phrased version https terebess hu english tao kunesh html also that translation s quoted stanzas below also remind me that i just re encountered les fermi s open focus meditations the other day which meditate on the empty space in our bodies everywhere the spaciousness that pervades everything engine and alternator and u joint and tires and accelerator and steering wheel and headlights and bucket seats all together make a car but it is the space within inside the empty seats that makes it useful clay and glass and plastic are molded to create jars and vases and cups and bags but it is the space inside that is empty that makes them useful houses and skyscrapers are built and cut open with doors and windows because it is the space inside that is empty that makes the buildings useful dust to dust rocks and people aren t different one becomes the other in the end if we think we are in charge we become confused when nature is forgotten and abandoned goodness justice and morality are created and theisms flourish when intelligence and knowledge appear great advertising campaigns are created and religions compete and what did t s eliot say i will show you petrifying fear in a handful of dust i m subverting eliot here to my purposes we are busy making the wasteland come true whether by rusting or bleeding it s the same in the end what are the roots that clutch what branches grow out of this stony rubbish son of man you cannot say or guess for you know only a heap of broken images where the sun beats and the dead tree gives no shelter the cricket no relief and the dry stone no sound of water only there is shadow under this red rock come in under the shadow of this red rock and i will show you something different from either your shadow at morning striding behind you or your shadow at evening rising to meet you i will show you fear in a handful of dust https www poetryfoundation org poems 47311 the waste land it s always good to end on a favorite song lately i think of this song every summer here in the west wherever that may be and consider that the opposite of holding on to petrifying permanence is some kind of ignition burning down the house 1983 live in l a https www youtube com watch v fbue_v6mi70 oh all my beloved the sun has not yet set but you have stayed a while and things are moving on sit next to the void become empty quiet and still at peace years go by you contemplate your return you see the years they shrink and return everything returns to its origin this return to origin is called stillness stillness is called accepting the natural laws of the universe accepting the way of the universe is enlightenment https terebess hu english tao kunesh html march 11 2021 march 30 2022 leave a comment body and breath part 1 i m in the process of deciding to learn breathwork as a path that unites my far flung interests in healing and self expression in a way it comes down to the body and breath i m a long time yoga practitioner and now teacher but also work with various realms of creativity and self expression particularly poetry and the visual arts i practiced vipassana meditation for a long time but have found it more difficult to sit and remain simply attentive mindfully in the last few years i have an increasingly strong interest in the felt sense which is the term eugene gendlin created for his focusing therapy and in peter levine s somatic experiencing and other somatic trauma work all of which i think is a huge missing piece from conventional healing and medicine the class i m taking now with giten tonkov who started biodynamic breathwork combines so many of my interests i really enjoyed the first class and had a remarkable experience connecting with my heritage in the meditation we did last week i found the way the material in the class was presented to be very lucid and engaging it seems right at the heart of what i most need now and i want to understand how to respect my being as a whole expanding the frame of what i consider to be my body and shifting it literally and even seeing the earth as a part of who i am i want to feel that all is sacred ground all dimensions everywhere and if errors are oracles it s because they call us to reframe our stuckness into letting go and open us up in humbleness to the grace we hold within us and the grace all around us this work on expanding from living in a contracted state recognizing how far i ve sunk into a kind of black hole of limitation and stayed stuck there feels like essential work right now i think this is true collectively as well now healing is a kind of reframing and our bodies and the body of earth are the hidden frame that is opening and transforming us now i once read that a spiritual or mystical perspective is the opposite of certain assumptions in scientific rationality which regards the universe as being a single thing with billions of discrete sentient beings existing separately within it a mystical perspective sees a myriad of universes but there is only one consciousness though there are profoundly different forms it can take forms that are universes in themselves is consciousness always fundamentally universal in form it has been interesting to regard myself as also that person i am viewing but in two different universes people and even other beings are simply myself but living in another sometimes very different universe the sort of empathy that has welled up in me for this way of being is so vital that a part of me that has such responsiveness to different conditions is awesome it s very wonderful to contemplate that my narrow stem of being flowers out of such a deep root when i fill my body with breath a universe flowers a universal connectivity wells up in and out of me i remember zen teacher john tarrant s book the light inside the dark he says there attention gives us more life breathwork is the dynamic path deepening attention follows we take in the wholeness all around us circulate it and give it back feel how your breath enlarges all of space as stephen mitchell translates rilke s poem in sonnets to orpheus a space existing within us and around us at once using my breath as the gateway to a more grounded awareness helps me more calmly attend to the ways i shut down my breathing and my body to be in safe mode simple limited small so small no one or nothing can see me how much i dissociate from what s happening in my body and the important messages held there i ve set up a barricade bandage against the overwhelm triggered by openness living in my head after a difficult childhood has meant that i have a lot to learn from the shift into grounding in my body and my breath it keeps opening me up and also keeps me from flying off in a so ready imaginative dissociation that is both a gift and an issue just as i am disconnected from my body it means that i am just as much disconnected from nature and the organism of the earth whose body i are also part of this is a deep painful collective pattern too one tool that i use and want to explore more with breathwork is a kind of automatic drawing which is a terrible word for it another better one is haptic drawing or art which is based on letting sensation and touch be the guiding elements of what emerges using your felt sense and breath to explore line and color a palpable extension of our bodily awareness it s a movement like a dance a flow of line and texture and color not distinct from my bodily rhythm and coherence the arc of my being translates into another universe a universe i flow into as it flows into me enlarging all my space within and without october 2 2020 october 2 2020 leave a comment the path of kinship ki and kin as pronouns for the living world robin wall kimmerer a scientist and member of the citizen potawatomi nation suggests that language can be a path of healing in this article in yes magazine nature needs a new pronoun to stop the age of extinction let s start by ditching it she suggest that when speaking of the earth and the living beings on it we use not it but ki the plural of ki is kin singing whales talking trees dancing bees birds who make art fish who navigate plants who learn and remember we are surrounded by intelligences other than our own by feathered people and people with leaves but we ve forgotten there are many forces arrayed to help us forget even the language we speak kimmerer is the author of braiding sweetgrass indigenous wisdom scientific knowledge and the teachings of plants a book i ve been reading bits of for several years but now this has inspired me to continue steadily reading it reading this article she wrote was such a relief i often feel so discouraged by our culture s blindness and objectification of the natural world which we are killing as readily as we kill other people people who we think stand in the way of making everything and everyone into a thing we can own use and spend as we like changing this overpowering relationship seems like what is left for us to do in this time learning respect service to the natural world and other beings and humility as humans since it seems we are so much about ends and don t acknowledge enough concern for means except as to how ruthless we can make them perhaps it s time to learn something of the path of kinship think of all the ignored resonance of the word means and how it could be a careful path of action as in a daoist sense the low path of utmost respect awareness and humility here as we see ourselves as kin we think first of all our commonness that which we share and are not truly different or better in our language or culture have we not valued gratitude enough now in this time do we begin to see a different possibility but i find myself angry still and i recognize the feeling i have is not the path of humility but rather i m stuck in rage at so much blindness why am i so angry i see how much i desire to achieve victory over all the ways in which others are out of balance and destructive so i ask that of myself can i enter back into the sacred that is the path of deep relationship and respect sacred ground all around me within me and without me and not be about conquering everything in my path through aggression or rage can i begin to really grasp that revenge for the blindness of the world will not heal me or bring what i need can i accept what feels like defeat or weakness and continue on my path without suffering over it what does it mean to learn to take it not overcome it and possess it but to take a very different path that starts with the assumption that well being can always be found to be there i m certainly not there yet but can begin to see it sometimes everything shines in that light and as i saw in my prior post here is the humility of finding strength to have renewing intention and action that stops without also intending a particular result but it seems so much trauma insists on reparation for any loss a core of pain we want acknowledgement for through overcoming a world in which we feel we ve become less so we want to take more as our due make that which might hurt us into a victory the power to stand on top of everything but victim and victor are two sides of the same corrosive coin that we can go on spending endlessly and meaninglessly thinking it s what gives us greater life but the path of shared connection gives us more life is a real healing a dedication to connection beyond victory robin wall kimmerer in english we speak of our beloved grandmother earth in exactly that way as it the language allows no form of respect for the more than human beings with whom we share the earth in english a being is either a human or an it using it absolves us of moral responsibility and opens the door to exploitation but in anishinaabe and many other indigenous languages we use the same words to address all living beings as we do our family because they are our family what would it feel like to be part of a family that includes birches and beavers and butterflies we d be less lonely we d feel like we belonged we d be smarter on a crisp october morning we can look up at the geese and say look kin are flying south for the winter come back soon october 2 2020 leave a comment we are not apart i m reading this post on e360 yale edu on the value of natural regeneration simplistic thinking of natural regeneration s value mainly for carbon sequestration feels limiting but it s what s we listen to when susan cook patton was doing a post doc in forest restoration at the smithsonian environmental research center in maryland seven years ago she says she helped plant 20 000 trees along chesapeake bay it was a salutary lesson the ones that grew best were mostly ones we didn t plant she remembers they just grew naturally on the ground we had set aside for planting lots popped up all around it was a good reminder that nature knows what it is doing sometimes we just need to give nature room to grow back naturally her conclusion follows a new global study that finds the potential for natural forest regrowth to absorb atmospheric carbon and fight climate change has been seriously underestimated i say let it grow all over it s what s left to do thinking of ursuala le guin s essay she unnames them and remembering we are entitled to our actions but not the fruit of them it s so hard to hold that clarity the world will manage itself we just have to follow we are not apart the beginning of our path like antonio machado s poem which i can never find quite the right translation for but is sweet to read xxix traveler there is no path the path is made by walking traveler the path is your tracks and nothing more traveler there is no path the path is made by walking by walking you make a path and turning you look back at a way you will never tread again traveler there is no road only wa...