Meta tags:

Headings (most frequently used words):

2013, august, monday, february, july, 2012, the, me, tuesday, 27, 26, thursday, 28, sunday, 24, saturday, click, it, whitney, kathleen, 2007, where, kid, go, ahead, and, follow, why, dont, cha, twitter, twittle, about, family, friends, mine, blogarific, bff, blog, archive, see, you, postpartum, depression, remembered, winter, let, talk, nicu, pop, goes, weasel, or, tire, weeks, too, soon,

Text of the page (most frequently used words):
and (635), the (497), was (344), that (208), she (173), her (162), for (143), have (102), had (94), with (84), you (83), not (75), about (72), but (72), just (72), what (72), when (71), they (69), this (67), out (67), jaren (66), all (66), them (61), get (61), baby (60), can (59), because (58), there (57), time (57), would (57), like (56), then (55), how (54), know (51), ago (49), one (49), went (49), years (48), home (48), take (48), back (46), going (45), naomi (43), more (42), weeks (40), were (39), day (38), could (36), felt (35), days (35), much (35), didn (34), into (34), came (34), don (34), through (33), while (33), see (32), from (31), are (31), adalyn (31), did (31), good (30), before (30), able (30), little (29), think (29), week (29), couldn (29), after (29), around (28), lindsey (28), need (27), first (27), will (26), down (26), those (26), been (25), few (25), who (25), only (25), want (25), wasn (24), got (24), things (24), put (24), every (24), water (24), come (24), right (24), being (23), labor (23), okay (23), even (23), started (23), nicu (23), having (22), where (22), your (21), him (21), thing (21), took (21), next (21), doctor (21), too (20), still (20), bit (20), until (20), here (19), some (19), hospital (19), help (19), feel (19), very (18), really (18), said (18), now (18), long (18), over (18), hard (18), months (18), love (17), than (17), told (17), thought (17), off (17), pain (17), myself (17), old (17), care (17), house (17), may (16), since (16), outside (16), asked (16), getting (16), hours (16), something (16), during (16), knew (16), his (16), cry (16), again (16), once (16), make (16), dad (16), eat (16), let (15), should (15), last (15), feeling (15), wanted (15), nurse (15), any (15), least (15), well (15), two (14), our (14), chair (14), enough (14), whole (14), their (14), night (14), doing (14), needed (14), better (14), other (13), room (13), sure (13), tell (13), mom (13), sleep (13), wouldn (13), broke (13), early (13), body (13), tried (13), babies (13), away (13), each (13), kids (13), whitney (12), why (12), hope (12), minutes (12), another (12), bed (12), quite (12), made (12), totally (12), trying (12), cried (12), feeding (12), never (11), point (11), wheel (11), later (11), walk (11), move (11), taking (11), coming (11), has (11), call (11), making (11), already (11), sad (11), try (11), front (11), year (11), life (10), own (10), section (10), less (10), lot (10), bad (10), left (10), walking (10), yes (10), weight (10), both (10), supposed (10), everything (10), keep (10), walked (10), beautiful (9), contractions (9), grabbed (9), stop (9), phone (9), way (9), say (9), wont (9), look (9), held (9), these (9), half (9), hear (9), tube (9), children (9), bottle (9), june (8), february (8), 2012 (8), posted (8), comes (8), birthday (8), done (8), same (8), fine (8), looked (8), such (8), pictures (8), gone (8), ever (8), tiny (8), lbs (8), soon (8), kept (8), longer (8), inside (8), remember (8), happen (8), parents (8), morning (8), feet (8), talk (8), mama (8), feed (8), feedings (8), july (7), august (7), mother (7), private (7), end (7), happening (7), often (7), anyway (7), watson (7), glad (7), yeah (7), waiting (7), world (7), sorry (7), alone (7), camera (7), work (7), also (7), huge (7), mind (7), meant (7), almost (7), nothing (7), many (7), thoughts (7), face (7), saw (7), people (7), high (7), most (7), three (7), which (7), hold (7), probably (7), starting (7), times (7), run (7), anything (7), second (7), full (7), usually (7), aren (7), postpartum (6), wife (6), family (6), girls (6), leave (6), called (6), though (6), towel (6), minute (6), door (6), helped (6), pillow (6), floor (6), onto (6), telling (6), pounds (6), holding (6), found (6), tonight (6), yet (6), cake (6), stress (6), fault (6), control (6), clean (6), nice (6), open (6), heard (6), give (6), nae (6), basically (6), incubator (6), till (6), understand (6), clothes (6), different (6), rest (6), doesn (6), term (6), town (6), turned (6), except (6), haven (6), blood (6), stroller (6), goes (6), without (6), slept (6), month (6), does (6), nie (6), moments (6), april (5), october (5), 2013 (5), friends (5), rexburg (5), idaho (5), husband (5), wrong (5), driving (5), calling (5), cramping (5), experience (5), set (5), weird (5), bathroom (5), apart (5), worried (5), ate (5), everyone (5), situation (5), anymore (5), scared (5), exactly (5), real (5), always (5), wait (5), painful (5), anyone (5), talked (5), hour (5), normal (5), terrible (5), scream (5), weighed (5), toes (5), movement (5), happened (5), mile (5), either (5), yard (5), decided (5), light (5), although (5), sit (5), grateful (5), ounces (5), badly (5), isn (5), worked (5), sometimes (5), crying (5), january (4), remembered (4), depression (4), blog (4), nathan (4), view (4), college (4), together (4), married (4), busy (4), follow (4), friend (4), girl (4), mostly (4), read (4), please (4), comments (4), strong (4), realized (4), texting (4), upstairs (4), pretty (4), sitting (4), wet (4), drop (4), purse (4), sat (4), wheeled (4), double (4), stand (4), wonder (4), massive (4), stayed (4), entire (4), excited (4), someone (4), find (4), ask (4), especially (4), experienced (4), oxygen (4), chocolate (4), surgery (4), thinking (4), moment (4), carry (4), pregnant (4), sort (4), middle (4), nurses (4), says (4), job (4), touch (4), total (4), uterus (4), hand (4), talking (4), looks (4), tummy (4), pregnancy (4), legs (4), close (4), helpless (4), exhausted (4), lunch (4), helicopter (4), pump (4), turn (4), garage (4), worse (4), empty (4), figured (4), sleepy (4), appointment (4), hurt (4), far (4), pressure (4), popped (4), uti (4), salt (4), hit (4), low (4), post (4), milk (4), carrying (4), hot (4), labels (4), preemie (4), rush (4), trimester (4), experiences (4), kangaroo (4), melt (4), diaper (4), big (4), sister (4), loved (4), winter (4), law (4), forget (4), third (4), part (4), living (4), person (4), september (3), november (3), december (3), amanda (3), matt (3), stephanie (3), mommy (3), born (3), watching (3), grow (3), four (3), washington (3), exercising (3), sand (3), dunes (3), happy (3), place (3), comment (3), posts (3), fast (3), kind (3), isak (3), hate (3), menstrual (3), cramps (3), pulled (3), standing (3), opened (3), leaking (3), seat (3), gown (3), cleaned (3), hooked (3), stomach (3), heart (3), relieved (3), nate (3), bring (3), nights (3), ready (3), picture (3), gained (3), breathe (3), forgot (3), breaking (3), constantly (3), named (3), inches (3), letting (3), regret (3), wish (3), works (3), dressed (3), shock (3), pregnancies (3), feelings (3), woke (3), expect (3), seemed (3), imagine (3), spinal (3), laid (3), date (3), scheduled (3), 15th (3), push (3), hardly (3), sound (3), inch (3), connected (3), concerned (3), dying (3), wednesday (3), nose (3), single (3), capable (3), looking (3), forth (3), shower (3), write (3), ride (3), chase (3), pre (3), sent (3), text (3), strait (3), gave (3), ding (3), drove (3), working (3), kitchen (3), antibiotics (3), pack (3), bag (3), else (3), pants (3), pop (3), swelling (3), hoping (3), easy (3), turns (3), easier (3), sooner (3), saturday (3), slowly (3), side (3), mean (3), tire (3), check (3), cold (3), tires (3), small (3), best (3), type (3), biggest (3), stopped (3), beginning (3), pediatrician (3), seeing (3), handle (3), giant (3), mess (3), preparing (3), emotional (3), start (3), must (3), disappear (3), rather (3), sick (3), eating (3), toddler (3), sunday (3), temperature (3), intense (3), wanting (3), uncomfortable (3), actually (3), farming (3), change (3), struggle (3), fed (3), continued (3), needs (3), birth (3), nap (3), drive (3), park (3), pick (3), dinner (3), tears (3), writing (3), knowing (3), pray (3), healthy (3), backyard (3), watch (3), lilac (3), bushes (3), school (3), used (3), question (3), immediately (3), great (3), hopefully (3), ppd (3), couch (3), medication (3), theme (2), blogger (2), march (2), 2009 (2), word (2), adventures (2), ann (2), ashley (2), chad (2), mike (2), david (2), ben (2), jessica (2), super (2), vicki (2), lena (2), mid (2), running (2), state (2), farmers (2), daughter (2), 2007 (2), photography (2), sleeping (2), order (2), keeps (2), twitter (2), member (2), wondering (2), email (2), daddy (2), page (2), kathleen (2), ldr (2), awesome (2), shocked (2), worst (2), parking (2), spot (2), delivery (2), behind (2), doors (2), corner (2), nst (2), oopse (2), leg (2), table (2), hadn (2), anxious (2), beat (2), staying (2), gain (2), contraction (2), tense (2), breath (2), ear (2), checked (2), silly (2), lots (2), closer (2), delicious (2), bite (2), yummy (2), whenever (2), wants (2), leaving (2), hearing (2), terrified (2), guilty (2), further (2), reason (2), heaven (2), knows (2), smile (2), depending (2), answered (2), frustrating (2), shouldn (2), eaten (2), differently (2), eye (2), roll (2), fully (2), expecting (2), optimistic (2), compared (2), doctors (2), worry (2), comfortable (2), poor (2), putting (2), catheter (2), realize (2), feels (2), iud (2), note (2), maybe (2), conversation (2), uter (2), split (2), funny (2), true (2), sore (2), pull (2), fun (2), shrill (2), explain (2), relief (2), tuck (2), recovery (2), sign (2), falls (2), hair (2), blasted (2), tubes (2), horrible (2), possible (2), stay (2), today (2), hall (2), admitting (2), meet (2), rocket (2), hibbard (2), likely (2), thank (2), steadily (2), tank (2), farm (2), gas (2), huh (2), bye (2), fact (2), under (2), teeny (2), gotten (2), bent (2), forward (2), charger (2), everywhere (2), stuff (2), large (2), stood (2), figure (2), lost (2), ones (2), between (2), amount (2), pee (2), psd (2), eyes (2), voice (2), book (2), reading (2), signs (2), symptoms (2), tuesday (2), rising (2), chance (2), preeclampsia (2), deal (2), diet (2), food (2), rule (2), means (2), business (2), spend (2), written (2), story (2), tons (2), lawn (2), miles (2), gunshot (2), workout (2), mowing (2), pajamas (2), ended (2), headache (2), arms (2), fall (2), temp (2), air (2), puncture (2), makes (2), monday (2), jumbled (2), loves (2), honestly (2), six (2), settled (2), emotions (2), cook (2), number (2), afternoon (2), incredibly (2), guilt (2), latched (2), friday (2), happens (2), released (2), matter (2), impossible (2), head (2), new (2), poked (2), finger (2), show (2), begged (2), downs (2), showing (2), showed (2), latch (2), devastated (2), understood (2), explained (2), gestational (2), percentage (2), daily (2), drink (2), track (2), wrote (2), momma (2), clock (2), car (2), reality (2), break (2), glorious (2), marathon (2), snow (2), woman (2), unexpectedly (2), changes (2), blessings (2), onsie (2), hat (2), clothing (2), cereal (2), wore (2), top (2), fence (2), tree (2), favorite (2), summer (2), changing (2), stare (2), sing (2), chest (2), fear (2), allows (2), raise (2), words (2), lose (2), sadness (2), swing (2), dishwasher (2), pile (2), dirty (2), dishes (2), asks (2), innocent (2), tired (2), despair (2), problem (2), refuse (2), spread (2), naps (2), plan (2), father (2), fold (2), ran (2), sanity (2), gym (2), form (2), self (2), constant (2), ounce (2), laugh (2), simple, images, powered, dino4, 110, 2008, 2010, 2011, archive, showers, mindi, boo, ilyn, navel, gazing, its, finest, sue, tamn, kayliegh, kate, korr, somnium, sumptus, nusquam, sara, blogarific, bff, lon, steph, james, vivian, cory, lori, mary, randy, capri, joe, adam, kristina, ruben, tiff, kellen, shawn, michelle, paloma, jake, victoria, travis, trudy, britt, aaron, amber, jillene, tim, katherine, ryan, melissa, alexis, chelsea, emily, kenny, andrea, danielle, tara, jamie, chantz, phil, holly, isaac, chelsi, beau, andrew, mandy, jon, julee, kritt, spence, riley, destry, jenna, jenny, dax, jennifer, tiffany, ramona, marie, breanne, robyn, mine, elijah, katie, erik, heather, uncle, colleen, obfuscation, jason, chris, roxanne, katelyn, kevin, complete, profile, graduate, develop, pig, tails, grew, boy, crafting, chatting, shopping, farms, grows, potatoes, alfalfa, grain, against, enjoying, additions, united, states, twittle, ahead, dont, cha, ranting, dedicated, added, send, whitneykathleen, gmail, com, address, kid, promote, click, subscribe, atom, older, timing, obviously, meredith, sounds, nephew, firstborn, edyn, lol, hurts, assume, denial, unit, tall, man, image, driver, backing, hurrying, catch, sets, elevator, circle, guy, passed, dry, dripping, gross, continually, flash, flip, flops, instead, kinds, monitors, reassured, strapping, kicked, monitor, glared, rotates, shifts, shift, linds, regretted, maternity, totaled, realizing, yelling, grinning, facebook, whether, texts, whooping, cough, booster, kinda, prayers, nugget, alice, dilated, effaced, cause, thanks, whit, finish, absolutely, shared, digestive, system, giving, waking, unreal, aware, false, sense, nursed, future, logic, personally, problems, carried, roiling, grimace, contracting, questions, concern, severity, might, rested, organize, picked, stride, gates, premature, suffer, terribly, empathy, vaginally, women, prepare, sliced, pushed, mattered, silent, whateverhisnamewas, sheet, numb, specifically, euphoria, giddy, epidural, absence, sheer, bliss, cookiness, weirdie, apparently, anesthetist, tucked, nicely, grumpy, hey, insertion, free, exclaimed, listen, cutting, finding, jeppeson, assisting, serious, dreams, disappointed, bruised, afterwards, ribs, bloody, murder, pinpoint, shoo, scar, stitch, abs, sized, apgar, pound, bottom, dangit, wandering, parts, stitched, bless, faintest, neonatologist, thingy, strapped, dark, sorts, attached, reach, due, five, vague, uhg, breakfast, himself, dealy, plenty, mae, kill, laughter, believes, stupid, version, delivering, breach, owwwwiiieeee, believe, experiencing, owwwwiiiiieeeeeeeee, warrant, wonders, speed, lead, ticket, jail, cop, comin, clerk, registered, patients, entrance, supervisor, gallons, yukon, ways, area, salem, highway, choice, cops, hugs, hurting, realization, stopping, hitting, quarter, road, followed, fuel, pumps, gassing, justified, cell, hung, hello, alright, updated, besides, asleep, teared, embarrassing, amniotic, fluid, stairs, blessing, step, important, bunch, steady, trickle, stronger, idea, kindle, stepped, nighttime, chapstick, toothbrush, toothpaste, brush, lotion, deoterant, deluge, cramp, naked, soak, closet, shirt, underwear, normally, placenta, sigh, awareness, cervix, liquid, calm, responsive, plug, tmi, decide, covered, attributed, overall, alarmingly, attribute, aspirin, reduce, recommended, perinatologist, specialist, spilling, protein, urine, uhhh, restricted, cut, none, spent, recipe, pinning, pinterest, grocery, list, usual, non, test, quivering, irritated, ruled, sciatica, stretching, round, ligament, pelvis, hips, lower, abdomen, throughout, anticipated, updates, nesting, organizing, sorting, junking, literally, kidding, amazing, jumped, postpardum, supply, dropped, dramatically, careful, storing, incase, producing, pumping, machine, mow, ordered, jogging, picking, walks, yards, slow, jog, runnung, halfway, kerplunk, tread, rim, rocking, addi, rockin, growls, grunts, answer, guessed, hears, message, balancing, wheels, biceps, forarms, degree, angle, blah, neck, chiropractor, guess, contract, expand, heat, buying, replace, bob, green, expanding, goo, cringe, weasel, complications, bare, technically, supplement, gushing, stories, assumed, dread, somber, rolling, rushed, truly, haggard, wires, effect, tiniest, heft, difficult, lifted, definitely, case, taken, incredible, amounts, key, caught, apneic, episode, breathing, waited, seconds, stimulate, angry, tone, scary, youngest, overwhelmed, deflated, treating, uneducated, gravity, incapable, seem, rational, known, harder, nested, junked, sorted, became, attatched, brought, function, needles, manhandled, prodded, sob, loud, embarrassed, homesick, itty, bitty, messes, describe, healing, convinced, forced, blow, necessary, losing, tsk, tsking, midnight, weak, jaundice, fatigue, cue, wasting, throat, gag, consoling, quick, bubbles, highlights, aside, peaceful, brother, twice, torture, focused, listening, music, gotta, goodbye, reasoning, forgotten, hungry, sucking, reflex, develops, 35th, exact, saying, towards, tunnel, age, calculating, received, intake, external, source, 100, drug, drain, externally, pushing, offer, offered, progress, daunting, handed, however, percentages, offering, above, weighing, thumb, allowed, bedtime, learned, lesson, company, nursing, meal, liked, jello, poke, fudgey, calories, bill, cosby, met, greek, gyro, hunt, seats, pumped, hoped, peeked, window, memory, desperately, incision, laughing, hated, milli, belonged, tickets, concert, weren, forever, signed, stuck, finally, notes, rounds, smith, teton, dam, obvious, circumstances, training, roller, coaster, lows, moderately, cannot, potty, climb, communicate, determine, 4th, albeit, underdeveloped, count, ved, rib, clad, swaddled, maintaining, gaining, struggled, meanwhile, ranch, ealing, learning, spoon, licked, slurped, cutest, receiving, blankets, position, ucooned, inbetween, purple, tie, died, piece, syringe, nging, bil, developed, red, spots, elevators, ver, overwhelming, eve, mask, level, installers, excavate, wildlife, live, vegetation, growing, fan, gets, wind, blows, below, zero, stifling, itching, certain, blinds, wherever, frosted, mornings, meaning, frosty, coat, boots, trees, luscious, ama, garden, decoration, blue, flying, windows, ckyard, mini, trampoline, liliac, partial, iew, neighbors, across, street, thursday, journal, fell, enjoyed, social, interaction, schedule, starts, season, ending, vacation, throwing, wrenches, stage, white, example, reactions, bestie, lap, primary, songs, special, stared, tear, stained, sang, infancy, particularly, tough, frozen, daughters, emulate, past, remembers, grandchildren, grand, descendants, attain, respectful, document, million, draw, attention, freely, ups, parenting, nowhere, soul, become, zombie, motivation, curl, ball, caused, cooped, piling, sink, assumes, load, unloaded, washer, loaded, unloading, bothered, rinse, sobbing, hormonal, hardest, marriage, largest, adjustment, episodes, remark, offense, worthless, egg, shells, afraid, remote, housewife, sits, ridiculous, reaction, wounded, animal, shortly, explaining, buried, pit, mentioned, recoiled, happiest, optimist, glass, filling, gaps, entails, admit, target, describing, forgo, acknowledging, strange, somewhere, lasts, quickly, grind, fewer, chalk, warm, sunny, bright, smiling, directly, ties, moods, happier, active, shape, fit, pacifier, mouth, noami, yep, lay, swinging, mention, pleading, bawling, clam, revolve, sandwiches, diapers, kisses, bath, ect, womb, title, chose, expense, fix, bother, loving, hands, stressed, laundry, basket, sakes, rear, knife, balls, bodies, vicious, cycle, errands, turning, interest, effort, visit, anxieties, lately, owe, preschool, macie, torn, wide, inspect, vulnerable, socialize, outlet, physical, girlfriends, wonderful, tremendously, surreal, sunshiney, emerges, shadows, recommend, yourself, daddies, battle, rejuvenated, grasp, express, itself, violent, hurtful, darkest, difference, lives, sobs, heavenly, pass, dealt, desperation, measure, methods, alleviate, stressors, excedrin, decision, recognizing, obstacle, discovering, facing, issue, equipped, add, advice, therapy, attacked, dogs, helps, loss, focusing, skills, coo, cheeks, kissed, jackson, hole, drank, sippy, puff, mrs, potatohead,

Text of the page (random words):
bbed a towel i put it between my legs and just stood there not quite sure what to do i couldn t go to the hospital naked but it seemed so weird to put clothes on when i was just going to soak them but jaren s parents were coming over and i couldn t not have any pants on did you call your parents yes are they coming yes did you call the hospital yes did you tell them dr watson was my doctor oh no he left to go call again contractions started a painful menstrual like cramp ones mostly in front some in back i decided i d put my pants on i bent forward and another deluge came there s no way they can stop this i ve lost too much water i m having my baby tonight she s too early this is too soon i need to pack a bag i kept trying to clean up the water but everywhere i stepped my feet were walking in wet stuff i grabbed my large purse and put my nighttime chapstick in i went to the bathroom grabbed my toothbrush and toothpaste brush face lotion deoterant and then just stood there looking around trying to figure out what else to take jaren comes in what are you doing i m probably not coming home i should pack a bag i don t have naomi s things ready we can do that later come on i don t have her clothes out okay can i have more children i went into the kitchen and grabbed my phone charger walked into the front room and grabbed my kindle and it s charger walked back into the kitchen and grabbed my antibiotics let s go i need my camera i need my camera why the baby is probably coming we need pictures we can get it later you re going to regret this okay i walked down the hall went into naomi s room bent forward to look at her and a bunch more water came out it was a steady trickle with every movement at that point the contractions were steadily getting stronger and more painful i had no idea how far apart just hurt all the time i can t make it stop i walked into my room and grabbed my pillow i felt weird doing it but it seemed important i went into the garage and opened the garage door jaren s parents had just gotten there i walked down the stairs holding my purse pillow and towel i came to jaren s mom and said it just came and wont stop i m sorry she wanted to know if i was okay i told her i was fine just starting to hurt his dad asked if i wanted a blessing i said oh yes please so we walked to the front door and with every step more water came out this has to be all the amniotic fluid i hope she s okay i haven t felt her move since last night this is kind of embarrassing leaking in front of his dad i set down the towel on the chair and tried to keep myself under control tried not to feel scared and only teared up and cried a teeny bit i told them both thank you gave them hugs and went out the door and into the garage and put the towel on the seat and got up the whole while steadily leaking contractions hurting worse and the realization there was no stopping it and i was fully into labor hitting we made it about a quarter of a mile down the road when we heard the ding ding ding oopse the tank was totally on empty and i had drove into town and back on that empty tank the day before so there was no trying to make it into town on it jaren turned around and his dad was behind us and followed us back to the yard farm yard in front of our house when jaren told him we needed gas he turned on the pump for us and jaren put just enough in to get us into town and back we have fuel pumps in the farm yard while he was gassing up i decided to call my parents it was such a huge thing happening that i felt like i should tell someone but at 2 in the morning i couldn t call anyone except them at least i figured my water breaking super early justified my calling them in the middle of the night even though they were in washington and couldn t do anything i just felt like they needed to know i called my mom s cell phone first before i realized she probably didn t have it right next to her turned on so i hung up and called the house phone my dad answered and this is how the conversation went dad sleepy hello me hi dad it s whitney dad okay me i m just calling to tell you my water broke dad what me my water broke and i m in labor i m going into the hospital dad oh no me will you tell mom dad yes me okay i just thought you should know dad yes me lindsey s working tonight dad huh oh me yeah i m glad dad yeah that s good me alright well i ll keep you updated dad okay me love you bye dad bye i think he was in a bit of shock besides the fact he was asleep i had just talked to him a few hours before about what happened at the doctor s appointment and how i felt about it this whole time i had been texting lindsey i first sent her a text while i was standing in the back hall with my purse and pillow waiting for jaren 2 15 a m me my water just broke i m comin in lindsey really i m waiting in the er admitting i m telling the admitting clerk so she s getting you registered now do you need me to go upstairs we don t have any patients upstairs is where labor and delivery and mother baby where you go after you have your baby is me i ll go right upstairs we ve already called lindsey so what entrance are you going to the er or ldr the house supervisor will meet you there to take you up back to jaren and i at the pump as soon as he put in a few gallons we took off like a rocket or as fast as a yukon can go like a rocket there are two ways into town from our house you can go through hibbard an area outside of rexburg or down the salem highway the choice is only a mile from our house either turn or go strait jaren which way should we go me the one least likely to have cops jaren me i d go through hibbard jaren okay what would happen if we did run into a po me what would happen if we did see a cop jaren he would follow us to the hospital me i wonder what he would do he d be calling in a high speed chase and then we d lead him to the hospital would he give you a ticket take you to jail or let us be because i m in pre term labor jaren i don t know he often wonders how my mind works and why i wonder so much i wonder if he d have enough time to call in a helicopter or if the helicopter is close by probably not has there ever been a helicopter chase in rexburg idaho would this warrant a helicopter chase owwwwiiiiieeeeeeeee the contractions were really strong and happening more often than i realized i wasn t timing them i didn t think to since i was obviously in labor and i was going to be having a c section anyway i can t believe i m experiencing labor i never thought i would ever know what a real labor contraction felt like or what my water breaking felt like back to texting lindsey 2 32 a m me ldr we re driving fast me hope watson comes in hope it s not some doctor i don t know and doesn t know my situation and will try something stupid since i m already in labor like a version or delivering a breach baby i don t want to explain it all owwwwiiieeee i m really glad lindsey is there me i m kind of glad you are there lindsey got it i m calling him to let him know lindsey i told them your dr is watson so they should have called him if not dr meredith is here he s an awesome ob dr so that s good lindsey i m going upstairs me ok good i think 5 minutes or less we will be there lindsey okay sounds good today is isak s birthday my nephew me to jaren it s isak s birthday jaren it is me yeah lena is going to hate us first we get married on her birthday then we have our baby on her firstborn s birthday jaren she is not going to hate you me but she had edyn on nathan s birthday so i think that even s things out me texting lindsey it s isak s birthday lindsey lol i know are you having contractions me i m cramping a lot hurts pretty good i assume so i was still shocked and in a bit of denial even though i was sitting on a wet towel and having the worst menstrual cramps i d never thought i d experience and i get some pretty bad cramps lindsey okay we re waiting outside for you me i m here at that point we pulled into the little 5 minute parking drop off spot at the labor and delivery mother baby unit door there was lindsey and a tall man standing behind a wheel chair oh i get to ride in a wheel chair he came up to the door as i opened it and helped me out i grabbed my purse and pillow and asked him if i should put the towel down on the wheel chair i should have just done it he told me i didn t have to so i just sat down me it s going to get wet i m leaking a lot him it s okay i don t think he believes me my last image of the outside world as i was being wheeled around and to the door s was lindsey getting in the driver s seat and backing out of the parking spot and jaren hurrying to catch up oh that s nice of lindsey through two sets of doors up the elevator through another set of double doors around the corner and into the same room i was in for my nst a week before there was the gown on the bed and sure enough i stand up and left quite the circle on the seat i told the guy oopse sorry about that he said it was fine a week or so later i was walking out of the hospital and passed what looked like the same wheel chair i couldn t help but wonder if he cleaned it or just let it dry i put on the gown the whole while dripping down my leg it was such a weird gross feeling to be continually wet and not be able to stop it flash back to the week before when i was there for my nst i was in the bathroom and had just put on the gown i started to walk to the bed and jaren asked if i wanted my flip flops on at first i said no until i thought about it and instead said yeah never know what kinds of things have been on the floor in here back to being in labor oh now i know what s on the floor in here onto the table i still hadn t felt her move since before i went to bed i was really anxious for the monitors to be hooked up and on so i could be reassured the minute the nurse started strapping those thing s onto my stomach she kicked and then there was her heart beat on the monitor i was so relieved the nurse left us alone and lindsey came in i started telling her about how i left my camera as i glared at jaren and she asked if i d like nate her husband to bring their camera he rotates 5 days of nights and 5 days of day shifts at work so he was staying up all night to get ready for a night shift i said yes please and she called him linds took a picture of us with my phone i regretted not taking a few more maternity pictures even though i was massive i totaled out at 46 pounds weight gain with naomi at 37 1 weeks and with this one at 34 weeks and 2 hours i had gained 53 pounds no telling how much more had i gone another 3 weeks every time i d have a contraction i d tense up and not even realizing i was holding my breath lindsey and jaren were both yelling at me breathe oh yeah it s like i forgot i was supposed to do that labor wasn t ever something i thought about nate came in grinning from ear to ear and stayed that way the entire time until i was wheeled out for the c section he was excited about the baby coming i felt like i had to tell someone about what was going on so i posted on facebook about my water breaking i was also constantly texting my mom with what was going on whether or not she was there to read it come to find out later she couldn t sleep after she found out and stayed up wondering what was going on but never checked her phone silly mommy here is the texts for that day may 23 2012 3 22 a m me i forgot to ask you to get a whooping cough booster and especially since she is going to be so tiny me i m in labor going to have the c section tonight me lindsey is with me me this is kinda weird me say lots of prayers for the nugget me she who is still not named me jaren still wont let me do alice me now i ve experienced labor they are 3 minutes or closer apart me i m dilated to a 1 5 and 90 effaced may 23 2012 5 35 a m me she s here 4 lbs and 11 oz and 17 5 inches long she s in the nicu she s getting oxygen and has an iv but she s doing really good and things look really good i ll call when i know more love you may 23 2012 7 47 a m ma oh yeah cause we ve been worried ma thanks for letting us know may 23 2012 5 32 p m ma whit is she named yet me yes i ll call you as soon as i finish my chocolate cake d and that was absolutely delicious chocolate cake i shared a huge bite with lindsey because i felt like it wouldn t help my digestive system if i ate it all but i regret giving her any i wish i had ate the whole thing because it was so yummy lindsey works there and can have hospital chocolate cake whenever she wants during this time my contractions were over 2 minutes apart and we were just waiting they were calling everyone in that was needed for the surgery i felt really bad that i was waking everyone up and making them get out of bed get dressed and come to work the whole thing was just unreal i think i was still in shock that my water broke i was very aware of the situation and that the baby was coming but i think having naomi 3 weeks early and being able to take her right home was leaving me with a false sense of hope that this baby wouldn t need to be in the nicu for more than a few days and then i kept hearing about so and so having their baby at 34 weeks or 35 and being able to take them right home or only in the nicu for less than 5 days in the back of my mind i nursed hope that when i had to go home i d be able to take her with me and i kept thinking about what this meant for future pregnancies i knew already that right at that moment jaren had made up his mind that we were done that terrified me and made me feel guilty for not being able to carry any further logic and experience told me that my water broke for a reason i personally think it had almost nothing to do with the baby and had just about everything to do with me that i couldn t be pregnant any longer my body couldn t take anymore stress and pain i d held onto her as long as i could and heaven only knows what problems i would have had had i carried much longer so many thoughts and feelings were roiling around and on the outside i kept a smile or grimace depending on if i was contracting or not on my face i answered questions and tried not to cry or be scared when dr watson came in and i saw the look of concern on his face i realized the severity of the situation a little better i knew it wasn t okay that i was in labor that the baby might not be totally okay but there was nothing that could be done i know it wasn t my fault that my water broke but it s frustrating that i can t control my body i should have rested more shouldn t have tried to clean and sort and organize so much shouldn t have picked naomi up as much and should have eaten better all of these things will be things i do differently next time i think jaren was taking it all in stride up to that point as soon as i saw dr watson i said it just broke and wouldn t stop coming and coming i m sorry dr w what are you sorry about you don t need to be sorry me that i woke you...