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the zainab experiment try to live and not just exist skip to content the zainab experiment try to live and not just exist menu and widgets home about contact search for categories categories select category bookie review challenges cool event diaries corona diary foodie review movie buff review movies shows and more my journey to fitness napowrimo2020 netflix must watch reviews poetry story follow the zainab experiment on wordpress com disclaimer zainab chhatriwala and thezainabexperiment wordpress com 2022 unauthorized use and or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site s author and or owner is strictly prohibited excerpts and links may be used provided that full and clear credit is given to zainab chhatriwala and thezainabexperiment wordpress com with appropriate and specific direction to the original content zainab chhatriwala i am the one who sat in the corner of the 1st bench and sketched my way through college poetry followed and stories well they had always been there observation is more of a habit i guess people can be quirky and that s what makes them interesting view full profile farewells and new beginnings i wrote my first poem when i was about 20 it was cheesy and i did not like it so i tore the paper and tried to write a better one never would i have ever guessed that writing would go on to be a major aspect of my career funny how little things can go on to define the larger things in life it has been quite a journey speaking of journeys this blog has been one such journey that began in 2018 i started the zainab experiment as of course an experiment i wanted to document my random thoughts my take on the world and all that goes on around me and it has been a joy to find this safe space with people who have welcomed my words with open arms i thank you all for all the love and support you have showered upon my humble little blog love you all but now it is time for this chapter to conclude as i embark upon new adventures i wish you all the very best in life thank you all for showering me with so much love and supporting me throughout the years thank you so until we meet again take care everyone stay healthy and safe posted on may 4 2022 september 8 2022 categories story tags farewell thezainabexperiment leave a comment on farewells and new beginnings limited additions it is quality rather than quantity that matters lucius annaeus seneca wise words that i try to remember every now and then especially when it comes to shopping but god the real challenge is with people i like to think i am quite picky with people i do enjoy talking to people but i don t necessarily enjoy people that much i would say i am patient with people cause when you are patient you can listen and listening can get you good stories surprisingly i have friends my school friends are perhaps the most special ones for me i grew up with them and we spent years couped up in class together these are the people that i started my life with but not everybody from that time is important to me now and neither am i to them we branched off in different directions a long time ago but some goofs managed to stick around on each other s call list and i think that is enough so when the lazy goof asked if i d like to join the reunion group i declined i don t want to be a part of the old herd again not everybody needs to be reintroduced in case i do get curious i know whom to call now i understand why some people don t attend reunions it is not arrogance it is just them moving on photo credits edgar castrejon on unsplash posted on january 25 2022 january 27 2023 categories story tags blogging family friends friendship life life lessons limited addition old friends random relationships school small circle thezainabexperiment thought writing 2 comments on limited additions my struggle with anxiety anxiety when i sit there curled up in one corner unable to do anything that i had set out to do when the day began i know the demon that i will be dealing with life was not like this for me before i was never a ball of nerves back then wonder what happened when it happened all i know now is that i have to deal with this one way or the other if i am to ever reclaim myself one too many times i have had people tell me that i just need to relax i wish it were that simple it is frustrating to explain to others the chaos that goes on inside of you when you yourself have a hard time making sense of it i have had days when i had so many things to do and places to visit and people to engage with but i would somehow end up on my bathroom floor pouring water over my head trying and failing to convince myself that i can do it confidence is not exactly an issue for me there are days when i can ride a horse with a sword in hand and then one day suddenly i will start overthinking and worrying about everything around me that is the funny thing about growing up as a kid we are bold and unabashed about what people may think about us and our views as adults we just want to be liked by all i guess most of us have unknowingly turned into doormats we are just so afraid of not being liked that we literally just lie flat for others to walk all over us while trying to deal with my anxiety i had to do a lot of soul searching i had to re learn how to listen to myself without letting the noise of the outside world drown out my thoughts on weekends when i stayed curled up in my bed my mind would constantly be buzzing with things to do and plans that were made and how i was not doing enough not planning enough or simply not being enough and at the last thought i would pause since when did i stop being enough and with that question i would start making my way out of the spiral what many do not understand is that the struggle is real calming down is not that easy it is one day at a time one wasted weekend to an amazing week ahead at a time we need to start acknowledging the seriousness of the problem and not patronize people by saying it is not a big deal trust me this is a giant big deal this is a life s worth of big deal and it needs to be dealt with accordingly photo credits reneé thompson on unsplash posted on january 12 2022 january 9 2022 categories story tags anxiety blogging life mental health nervous overthinking patience random sadness story struggle thezainabexperiment thoughts writing leave a comment on my struggle with anxiety beginnings scary as they are beginnings have a life of their own sometimes its hard to know whether what you are about to do is worth the effort that you plan to place into it that anxiety before taking those first steps can be overwhelming but then again worrying about things isn t going help you either so might as well take a step forward quite honestly i still get fussy but its okay i suppose it makes me a human just like everyone else who cares what anyone else has to say they won t be paying any of my bills so why bother thinking about them sometimes it is better to ditch quoting inspirational stuff every now and then to make yourself feel something sometimes you just have to get started and inspiration will find its way to you with that i leave the stress of what ifs behind and carry on with my sometimes eccentric dreams and make things happen proto credits toa heftiba on unsplash posted on january 9 2022 january 9 2022 categories story tags anew beginnings blogging inspiration life mental health motivation random start struggle thezainabexperiment thoughts writing leave a comment on beginnings crumbles been a while since i last wrote something i thought i forgot engrossed in grief were those days when i watched a happy home waste away they weren t just walls that wasn t just glass they built a home with a piece of their heart amidst a crowd now they stand watching the pillars turn to sand they knew that the end was bound to come just like the birds they had sensed the storm but till then it was too late the ship had sunk mid way i sat there on my window looking outside crying over a roof that wasn t mine photo credits nathan dumlao on unsplash posted on january 8 2022 january 8 2022 categories poetry tags blogging crumbles dysfunctional empathy family grief home house poetry random thezainabexperiment thought writing 3 comments on crumbles be there in the night when it is cold i want to be the hand you hold when the light feels too low i will burn flames for you to know in the hours that feel like days i will keep you close in my embrace when words feel heavy for you to bear i will be there in silence with you and stare there is a friend in me you know there is a love that ties our soul life can be tough some days than most but remember we are braver than our sorrows photo credits allison wopata posted on august 15 2021 categories poetry tags be there blogging companion friend friendship help life loss love poem poetry random relationships support thezainabexperiment thought writing leave a comment on be there words and pictures i miss the days when the only big word i could spell correctly was comprehension our english exam paper always ended with this final section write a 350 500 words comprehension on blah blah i miss third grade sometimes as my height grew so did my corner bookshelf each new year we added a new shelf then one day we had to leave and book shelf held no books anymore among the many things from my childhood i miss the class trips to the several art exhibitions around town as a kid it was amazing to be selected for these trips we would skip school and our arts professor would take us to nehru planetarium every time there would be some new art installation set and paintings and what not those are some of my most cherished memories i came to understand one interesting thing back then art is in everything with words some can convey nothing but noise and most is missed while reading between the lines and that is how the best stories are told a balance of noise and subtle messages with pictures it is more about the perception than the image itself some manage to show us what we want to look at while others make you stand at eye level with the subject and have you stare at their soul that is the gift of art you can never quite tell what you will get but that is the best part about it photo credits true agency posted on august 10 2021 categories story tags art blogging comprehension contemplation happiness life memories photo random thezainabexperiment thoughts words writing leave a comment on words and pictures trying not to runaway life can be overwhelming especially with anxiety it is so easy to hit 0 to 50 in a second so easy that you forget that it isn t even required but what s the use you are already miles away from where you had started i have been racing with my thoughts lately nothing useful comes out it just mental fatigue so i am trying to hold on to my pillow and breathe sometimes it helps heading out feels better talking to people who understand feels the best it is not as easy for them either nobody signed up for this but they take it one day at a time and help me do that too it is nice to be reassured once in a while anxiety or no anxiety there are times when i just wanna run like just pack up and run and then what i don t know when i say this out loud i am heard surprisingly even understood cause we are all on this roller coaster some are just better at hiding their fears and so when i hear hey can i run away too i say why not friends yup the best thing that came with the ride and i think i better hold on them for as long as i can photo credits karl jk hedin posted on august 8 2021 categories story tags anxiety blogging escape friends life mental health mind random runaway running thezainabexperiment thoughts writing 6 comments on trying not to runaway i am a crispy potato my favorite part of the morning is probably hitting snooze i would keep the alarm for 7 00 am and would only get out of bed by 7 20 am cause in those twenty minutes i managed to get the best sleep in the entire day but i guess getting older means that those precious twenty minutes in bed turn into a wake up and try to feel your body crackle sessions now i wake up at 8 00 am cause the enthusiasm of my youth is on a sabbatical then for the next twenty minutes all i do is stretch and i have heard cracklings noises from places where i never thought chackling noises were possible oh the joys of aging this small morning routine has actually been quite helpful who knew that we would one day turn so crispy photo credits gaelle marcel posted on august 5 2021 august 4 2021 categories story tags alarms blogging lazy life morning morning routine random sleep thezainabexperiment thoughts waking up writing leave a comment on i am a crispy potato august aims lately i have been struggling it would be a lie to say that the past few months have been tough truth is that this has been going on for much longer there have been moments of joy spread across like tiny air bubbles over boiling sugar i am not as fit as i was before i don t even remember how long ago this before was i miss the days when i would wake up without different parts of me hurting at the same time my mind is going through it own struggle my attempts at positivity have fooled everyone but the ones who know me well having people who patiently listen to you and make efforts to help you is a rare blessing thank god i am making or at least trying to make efforts i am also trying to take things easy let s see how it goes wish me luck photo credits gatis murnieks posted on august 4 2021 categories story tags abyss anxiety blogging health hope life mental health mind mindset random struggle thezainabexperiment thoughts writing 2 comments on august aims posts pagination page 1 page 2 page 22 next page create a free website or blog at wordpress com the zainab experiment blog at wordpress com subscribe subscribed the zainab experiment join 700 other subscribers sign me 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