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Text of the page (random words):
one else this is a picture of levi s hand foot print so tiny so perfectly amazing words i d like to share about grief first this everything comes from the father we are nothing apart from him this verse some days when i couldn t breath just couldn t catch my breath from underneath the heavy blanket of sadness this verse i would say it aloud over over it was on our message board at home posted to the fridge written on my hand isaiah 49 15 c 16 i will not forget you see i have engraved you on the palms of my hands your walls are ever before me he is honest he keeps his promises he is always good because he too lost a son i knew that he could truly grasp understand feel my grief and the second thing is this life goes on it sucks it s a hard truth to swallow but life does indeed go on sometimes it feels meaningless but a lot of times it just feels like life just going on i have determined to live well as a way of honoring our children at first i just couldn t move i was paralyzed by grief and then it hit me what honor does it bring to their tiny existence if i give up living too if i just decide that my life will not go on so i became intentional about sharing our story their story their lives our lives life it seems does go on capture your grief day 29 reflect take today to reflect on this past month what is your relationship with grief like right now is it still the same has anything changed what have you learned about yourself and your grief it is always with me i carry it with me like a security blanket not because i need it but it s something very important to me my grief reminds me of how big my savior is how kind merciful it reminds me that i am nothing outside of christ the days are not so heavy as they were in the beginning having our miracle boy here helps pull me from the grief days i used to be stuck like in quick sand and i was sinking deeper and deeper as i struggled to get a breath to get a handle on something anything nowadays i can keep those feelings far away by reminding myself of the tremendous blessings that came from each pregnancy each life each death capture your grief day 30 intention we are prayerfully considering starting a local share group hopefully prayerfully through my church in honor of rowan levi you can learn more about share here what is capture your grief read about it here or just join in the photo project by following these prompts poured out by amanda at 9 05 pm no comments labels babyloss capture your grief day 28 day 29 day 30 faith healing hope intention jesus miscarriage pail awareness pprom reflect what heals your heart wisdom monday october 27 2014 capture your grief day 27 express day 27 express this is the day in month where you can say whatever it is on your heart that you would like find your voice what is it that you want to express is there anything that you want the world to know about your grief or children capture your grief day 27 express i copied this segment from another blogger almost 2 years ago it s been sitting saved on my blog in an empty title less blog just waiting it fits so perfectly with today s photo prompt i wish i could give credit to the writer but i cannot find her page anymore alas here are her words written as if from my own heart but a tiny fraction of my heart is also paralyzed with fear that monday is right around the corner and i am soon to realize everyone else has moved on from this leaving me to continue in this desert its not that i fear being alone in it its that i fear partly the someday i will move on too and somehow that will symbolize it doesn t hurt so bad it wasn t as bad as i remember etc one day i will be a visitor to these emotions and this experience and not the resident i am currently rowan 08 17 09 miscarried 13w2d levi matthew 06 28 10 06 29 10 born at 19 week gestation passed away after 1hr 19min what is capture your grief read about it here or just join in the photo project by following these prompts poured out by amanda at 9 22 am no comments labels babyloss capture your grief carry on day 27 hope levi matthew mccleskey miscarriage national day of remembrance october 15th pail pprom remember rowan mccleskey what heals your heart sunday october 26 2014 capture your grief days 21 26 capture your grief day 21 relationship sister friends love these ladies so very much many hours of laughter dance parties various shenanigans much healing capture your grief day 22 self care self care is extremely important when it comes to healing so slow down and be gentle with yourself today do something that brings you joy something that feeds your soul and allows you to re charge see where your thoughts take you capture your grief day 23 inspiration noah came to us after the two most terrible losses that people can imagine two babies gone on to heaven within a year and then miracle of miracles noah was gifted to us by the lord his life inspires me to live mine to the fullest to never be small to always embrace love everything about living to honor rowan levi by living well capture your grief day 24 forgiveness forgiving myself after each baby died was a struggle it was hard to breathe let alone reason with myself coming to grips with the fact that i couldn t have saved them although slightly defeating was a relief self forgiveness hard necessary life giving capture your grief day 25 mother earth then man s dust will go back to the earth returning to what it was and the spirit will return to the god who gave it ecclesiastes 12 7 rowan levi ours but for a moment his for eternity were they not ours only to hand over to him either in life or death learning to live with believing he knows best trusting him with all circumstances this is the true test of our faith if we believe in him for our eternal salvation how can we hold back say no but i cannot trust you in this we will see these children in glory some days it is that single thought that carries me through from breath to breath god is always good and i am always loved capture your grief day 26 healing ritual my latest adventure trim healthy mama on the path to physical emotional healing my body has been ravaged by pregnancy pregnancy loss hormone treatments fertility drugs child birth etc on august 25th i took the plunge into a new life style it s been one amazing day after another true healing begins at our core i feel like the best way to honor my sons is to live this life well what is capture your grief read about it here or just join in the photo project by following these prompts poured out by amanda at 8 25 am no comments labels babyloss capture your grief carly marie project day 21 day 22 day 23 day 24 day 25 day 26 miscarriage pail awareness pprom thm trim healthy mama what heals your heart monday october 20 2014 capture your grief days 14 20 capture your grief day 14 dark light darkness cannot drive out darkness only light can do that mlk capture your grief day 15 community the community of bereaved parents is not a place i ever imagined i would land no one thinks that it will be them no one expects a loss let alone two back to back we have lived through hell and come out gasping for breath the community of support from others who have walked these roads has been so inspirational not one of us is ever alone there is comfort in knowing that capture your grief day 16 retreat being an active member in our community babyloss moms and belong ing to one or more support groups caring for others as well as yourself can be very emotionally draining we find ourselves helping to carry others grief too take today to be kind and gentle with your own heart do what makes you feel good by looking after yourself first you become a more mentally strong person and therefore you are much better help to others capture your grief day 17 explore through reading i have been able to explore the depths of my grief i have found more hope some sorrow and a deeper understanding of my heart s ache exploring your grief helps in finding your way further down the path of healing capture your grief day 18 gratitude eucharisteo choosing thankfulness how do i give up resentment for gratitude gnawing anger for spilling joy self focus for god communion to fully live to live full of grace and joy and all that is beauty eternal it is possible wildly i now see and testify so this story my story a dare to an emptier fuller life a v capture your grief day 19 give this blog started as my healing journal my hoping journal and has transformed into my giving journal capture your grief day 20 breathe so often we as bereaved parents find ourselves feeling overwhelmed by our grief and we don t notice it but we are holding our breath when you start adding things like anxiety anger and frustration to your grief you can end up feeling crippled by your emotions this affects so many areas and relationships in your life one way to help alleviate this overwhelming surge of emotions is to turn your attention to your breath simply step outside into some fresh air and focus on breathing in and out what is capture your grief read about it here or just join in the photo project by following these prompts poured out by amanda at 1 10 pm no comments labels babyloss capture your grief community day 14 day 15 day 16 day 17 day 18 day 19 day 20 give gratitude grief healing hope miscarraige pprom rest retreat what heals your heart wednesday october 15 2014 remember in 1988 president ronald reagan designated october as pregnancy infant loss awareness month an action that launched the pregnancy and infant loss awareness movement although over a quarter century has passed this issue remains prevalent as each year approximately a million pregnancies in the united states end in miscarriage stillbirth or the death of the newborn child did you know that one in four pregnancies ends in the loss of a baby the loss of a child is recognized as the most intense cause of grief parents never get over the loss of a child no matter the age parents experiencing grief without supportive care can have debilitating consequences such as ptsd depression and anxiety that could further result in job loss divorce difficulties in daily living or impediments with parenting of living children wave of light celebration october 15 2014 is a universal day of remembrance for pregnancy loss and infant death this day is observed with remembrance ceremonies and candle lighting vigils concluding with the international wave of light worldwide lighting of candles at 7 p m poured out by amanda at 9 00 am no comments labels babyloss candle hope international light miscarraige national day of remembrance october 15th pail pprom remember wave of light monday october 13 2014 capture your grief day 13 season i associate our losses with summer in june of 2010 our precious levi went home to heaven in july of 2011 the miraculous birth of noah took place and in august of 2009 our beloved rowan was whisked away to glory all of summer is eaten up with the grief and the miracle and the immense longing for children it s still a favorite time of year i get to remember and dote on all three babies just as i would if they were all here this is a picture that matt took in 2010 after levi passed away we went on a cruise to the bahamas i couldn t bear to be in our home or even our city we needed to be away to be quiet the stillness of the ocean the beauty of god s creation all around us summer is the perfect time to remember our boys mamalovesyou what is capture your grief read about it here or just join in the photo project by following these prompts poured out by amanda at 9 37 am no comments labels babyloss bahamas capture your grief day 13 hope levi matthew mccleskey my husband noah reagan october remember rowan mccleskey season summer what heals your heart sunday october 12 2014 capture your grief days 8 9 10 11 12 capture your grief day 8 resource i found hope strength through this site sharing my grief and learning that we were not alone in our losses community though not the community i would have chosen it s a community that helps heals capture your grief day 9 in memory noah has his own little block on this necklace now too it is probably my most prized piece of jewelry people ask me about it when they see it i get another chance to spread the word about my boys lives and about the love of jesus and the hope that comes just when you think there is absolutely none left mamalovesyou capture your grief day 10 support this guy my husband my friend my rock when it seemed impossible a steady hand when when i could not balance out a soft place to land when all of life was so hard he is brave courageous love you mean it capture your grief day 11 altar a place of remembrance a place to call to mind all that the lord has done in our bedroom there are three shelves one for rowan one for levi matthew and one for noah we do not forget how the lord proved himself merciful gracious we do not forget the days our lives were changed for eternity we share our losses our miracles to tell of his great love capture your grief day 12 music music seems to be a universal language expressing emotions and thoughts that we sometimes cannot identify by just speaking words music can take you deep into the raw parts of your heart that you otherwise could not get to music captures grief and joy and love so perfectly this song i will praise you in this storm was on repeat for so long in our home i just knew that if i kept saying amen just kept my hope in him that i would see another sunny day you can listen here i ll praise you in this storm and i will lift my hands for you are who you are no matter where i am every tear i ve cried you hold in your hand you never left my side and though my heart is torn i will praise you in this storm do you have a grief story to share consider practicing by following the photo prompts from capture your grief see below and read more about the project here poured out by amanda at 7 39 am no comments labels baby loss capture your grief day 10 day 11 day 12 day 8 day 9 faith grief hope levi matthew mccleskey miscarraige pprom rowan mccleskey what heals your heart tuesday october 7 2014 capture your grief days 5 6 7 okay okay so i can t seem to get on here everyday blog my pics nice neat one at the time well here is my grouping for days 5 6 7 capture your grief day 5 journal a safe place to express feelings dreams fears a reference to look back see where how the lord has moved whathealsyourheart capture your grief day 6 books books to heal books offering hope books to make sense of mind boggling medical issues books to stir your faith books to teach you things books lovely books whathealsyourheart capture your grief day 7 sacred place our bed we made babies here we lost babies here i spent months of bed rest here i prayed here cried here wanted to die here waited to live from this place lost myself found grace here this is a sacred place a place of refuge a place of rest whathealsyourheart wha...