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description=10 posts published by Meg during March 2011;

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Text of the page (random words):
say that i love him but when he texts me back he knows i already did without saying the words we both know that words lack substance and this substance is thick like honey but rich like gravy and cool like a mountain breeze and hot like the steady heat of a warm fire oh good morning oh good morning uncategorized poem of my soul march 25 2011 meg 1 comment i open my chest for you to see the millions of stars falling out of me millions of wishes and millions of dreams falling and falling out of my seams i am stuffed with the universe with ten thousand suns i am stuffed with the wholeness of all things as one i open my gut and out comes my eggs thousands and thousands like fine caviar vermilion carnelian scarlet and rose i pull myself open and out it flows i am rife with a passion that is equal to none i open my skull and a frothing pour forth spilling and rilling it splashes and gurgles bubbles and boils and babbles and baubles i crack it wide open and look whats inside i am flooded with ideas that burn like the sun i hold out one hand and it multiplies ten fold it is covered with pigment and pin pricks and pens it opens and opens and opens again it reaches and draws and paints and sews tight all of the things my being holds tight i am bursting with creations that are shall never be done i have no idea where it may go from there or what it feels like dr seuss to look outside you would think it is warm the sky is so blue and the sun shines brilliant in the clear sky the plants lie in that state between growing and dormancy waiting for the air to be above freezing but it is not and a cold arctic wind is blowing strong over the garbage and salt and sand strewn streets i am filled with this feeling that is warm though my insides feel good and i relish it i bask in the spring that is blooming inside of me i will say nothing of it just feel it as it fills me they tell me my countenance has changed i just know i am sleeping better and it shows i am at a loss for words ideas are spinning in a great power ball basket waiting for that whoosh of air to draw it to the top i practice waiting for the next breath to come as it does again and again until it doesn t i am love humor musings in defense of sarcasm march 21 2011 march 21 2011 meg 9 comments i wonder why does sarcasm get such a bad rap i have heard it said that sarcasm is anger disguised as humor but there an element of it being anger eased by humor if something is annoying it sometimes take the edge off of it to make a remark that cuts through to the quick of it some say that sarcasm isn t humor at all nor is being sardonic all considered sneering contemptuous bitter cruel it seems as though there may be some level of wit in sarcasm that comes from being able to see into some deep inner level of a thing it is a humor that does not lie on the surface of humanity but digs in deeply and finds itself laughing at our human ness when we mock a thing deride it we are examining it tearing it open and trying to understand it you want to know what its meaning is why is it like this and why do you ask stupid questions at a time like this it is funny it is odd because it would seem that some people are not able to take any form of mockery and others perhaps can take it and enjoy it at certain levels i am not sure it is all bad i am thinking of how mocking others poking fun at their human fallibility is not necessarily a direct attack on a person or persons it may seem to be a direct attack but perhaps it is not perhaps it is in fact a way of looking at things from a different perspective that is why it is cutting it opens it up and leaves parts exposed and raw and it can hurt but it is deep and it has meaning it is quite the opposite of the silly and meaningless antics of say the three stooges how is it funny to squeeze someone s nose and whack them in the back of the head that kind of humor is very base at least to me one defintion says that sarcasm is intended to wound but also that it is ironic irony is also entrenched with opposition the sarcasm is cruel irony being sardonic is derisive irony it is all different ways of standing on the opposite side of something and in that way we may find some new gem some new idea some new meaning i find that the dumb and dumber kind of humor is not funny at all but do i go around saying that people acting stupid and then other people getting a good laugh at their stupid antics is somehow not funny no i acknowledge that people may in fact find this to be humorous even though i truly do not so why does sarcasm get the hit for not being funny when really it is often quite funny indeed if you are not a cruel person but your remarks meant to be a funny and ironic look at our human selves are you now cruel okay so your dumb and dumber is not funny it is downright moronic and frankly you are a moron for thinking it is funny just as i am a big fat meany head for thinking the witticism of sarcasm is quite funny indeed who is right and why is that sarcasm takes a hit it strikes me that americans are some of the thinnest skinned bunch of pantywaists on the planet you have to fake happy you have to fake nice you have to look fake shave all the hair from your body fake boobs fake nails fake everything you must not ever say a word that might offend you must strike offensive language from classic literature the irony of it all so brave and strong and true but god forbid you say something that might offend and god forbid we have the back bone to take it you see a person using sarcasm it seems cruel and biting but do you look at the whole person and each interaction before you make your condemnation of them as being cruel ironically if you teach people to be able to recognize the humor of sarcasm it tends to not offend but here in our fair country people cannot handle it it is too much ouch that hurts i cannot go on you are mean i am going to go tell my mommy i don t know i have much to think about but i am not sure it is really cruelty maybe for some but not for me i don t have a cruel bone in my body rarely do i feel hateful or so angry that i feel a need to hurt others i guess i have this stupid belief that anyone who knows me will know my heart is on my sleeve and it loves and it cares deeply that sometimes people like me protect gigantic hearts by snapping a dishcloth at others with our words that sometimes a sharp word although seemingly derisive may in fact be an attempt to find the irony in life in words in human interaction the irony that seems to give it meaning i have to stick by this notion that you say it to protect your heart you say it to find humor in a situation that otherwise is not funny and just because you do not understand it yourself doesn t mean it isn t funny i will continue to think sarcasm is funny i will continue to think acting like a dumbass for laughs or saying yuck yuck yuck yuck and whacking someone on the head with a giant rubber fist is maybe not so funny but you are welcome to that kind of humor if it actually suits you me i will stick with my sardonic side my sarcastic side and the side that laughs out loud at how silly we all are sometimes otherwise sometimes i think i would just sit down on the ground and start bawling birds changing seasons nature small joys first robin of spring march 20 2011 march 20 2011 meg leave a comment yesterday as i looked out the window onto one of the bays of lake ontario i noticed that despite the ice on most of the bay that a blue heron was flying overhead the ice chill wind off the lake was cold but the sun was brilliant and the sky was bluer than blue the surest sign of spring is not so much the crocus blooming in the warm sun their golden yellow pale lavendar and dark purple heads a cheerful sight in the decayed and lifeless grey yard the surest sign is me on the front steps with a down blanket wrapped around me book left lazily in my lap eyes closed as i bask in the sun i am sure some bird out there turns to his bird friend and says look first human of spring this morning i wake to the sound of a robin singing and a jay making noise in the yard there is a heavy crispy lacy frost on all the metal surfaces when i look out into the sun i take the dog out back and as he is looking for a place i look up and see the bronze buds on one of the trees the sycamore stands tall and proud in the brilliant blue sky as two birds like silver airplanes fly side by side the light glistening on their white bellies i notice the forsythia is budding too and reach up and touch the little blister on the end of my nose that i get sometimes at this time of year i think it is an allergy to forsythia i come in the house and change my sheets i will keep the flannel on for a little while longer but i take off my least favorite blanket and wash it too planning to put it away i decide to start changing over my winter clothes too not all of it but at least the heavy wool my smart wool long underwear and my corduroy jeans and my flannel pj s winter is hard here the heavy snow the cold mornings the soggy slush and salt grime spring is easy it teases it comes and leaves and comes back again first soft then hard then cold then warm but steadily onward getting better and better until the summer is unmistakeably imminent musings nature new york state parks photos morning sun afternoon grey march 17 2011 march 20 2011 meg 3 comments as i walk outside i turn my face to the east to the rising sun yellow crocus glisten in the long early light i breathe and can smell the smell of wet earth just starting but not yet spring i wear on my shoulders the warm mantle of a long lost friend let the day begin morning sun on yellow crocus work is both pleasant and difficult i feel the pleasure of both reward and unexpected vitriol when a person you respect calls you awful do you listen i feel grey and awful but then as the day continues the warmth of my students that tells me another story to what do i listen i feel torn and ugly and awful but am uncertain of the signs what is the story why such ugly words why do i always feel so grumpy after lunch i walk long and slow at the park i head down the flooded trail warned of flooded path ahead i say it s okay i know it is flooded i just want to look i take a long path and feel the warmth where the snow has melted and the cool air where the snow still stands after an hour i emerge muddy feet heart heavy anyway i am in a confused place today flooded trail at clark reservation i return home face turned away from where the sun should be i want to be alone my thoughts are thick today i am so scattered these days i need to settle to meditate to chant to focus i will not do it but i should uncategorized blackbird singing march 15 2011 meg leave a comment daffodil spears with snow i don t know what i want it is that age old thing the thing of desire and craving and suffering i snooze happily on the couch while you talk to your lover on the phone your dog kisses me and i listen to your words of advice as they echo solemnly in my head don t accept it if it isn t what you want remember to watch for the signs you know what to look for you know what it is that you are drawn to be aware pay attention i feel this feeling in my gut yep i got it i realize as i am there my expectations were based on this premise that i won t get everything i want and maybe i shouldn t be too picky i hear words echoing in my head and it is clear as a bell clear as a bell this truth clear as a bell as the truth is ringing in my head i realize something else it is in some way exactly what i want in other ways not at all and in this moment i become even more clear i know what is on the table am i willing to accept it the leftovers the remainders of someone else s meal served second or maybe last what questions arise in my head i always over think everything i never un think nothing but i am left queasy and concerned the blackbird sings ooobaleee as i take photos of daffodils in the snow but the solitary flower of an aconite against the longevity of dark ivy is what draws me i am drawn winter aconite with english ivy changing seasons nature photos small joys spring ah spring march 14 2011 meg 1 comment winter aconite i look at the weather report and see warm days almost night time furnace temperature during the day i am rejoicing i am rejoicing that spring is burgeoning i get home and scan the yard looking at grey life that is revealed from under the heavy blanket of snow i see a spot of yellow and i cheer running into the house to get my camera winter aconite first harbinger of spring later i walk in the crisp cold night air i reenter the hot house my cheeks cold but warm from smiling a walk with a companion laughter on my lips a smile making my cheeks ache i feel warm everywhere i am warm everywhere there is this life inside of me it is like the bright yellow flower in the yard it is like the yard right now so much hidden under the receding snow hidden under the decaying leaves hidden under the muddy half frozen soil hidden but there waiting to burst forth with passion buddhism great quotes music musings nature small joys the arrival of the spring march 13 2011 meg 3 comments for your listening pleasure confession i have a gentleman friend i spent the morning reading in bed we texted back and forth a few times when i asked him about the day since i had not gotten up even to make coffee or to use the bathroom yet these are his words printed with his permission the world is grey and cloudy cool and a little snowy but i do not see the grey i have seen the daffodils starting to protrude through the earth reaching and stretching themselves to the glorious sun wanting to grow strengthen and endure from the sullen winter blanket in which they were sleeping spreading their beauty for all to see so grey is not what i see color and beauty is and is remembered first fronds of crocus as i read those words i was reminded in some ways of my own writing i see in some ways a reflection of my own emerging hope hope i dare not trust hope i dare not believe in with all of my being but hope that has me leaping out of bed singing and laughing like crazy crazy i run outside in my pajamas but my daffodils are still covered in snow instead i see the crocus as they are always diligent always first they are free from snow as they rest against the house warmth on their backs while the sun warms them on the front i imagine it is like a cat resting in a sunny spot by a wood stove i find myself recording the new growth of spring checking the passage of season taking the time to note our grand and good mother for the first time since i started blogging three years ago i suppose almost to the day but i deleted the blog and cannot check my facts or my stats or ever get back those years of words and photos perhaps i lie without meaning to yes i have taken some beautiful photos and noted the weather and the seasons but today the ordinary caught my eye and captur...