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description=9 posts published by Meg during June 2012;

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the, what, man, month, june, 2012, pampered, listening, to, falling, rain, simplicity, is, royal, robe, cube, and, pubic, hair, most, invasive, species, mighty, good, play, hand, that, dealt, you, prophet, union, recent, posts, archives, follow, blog, via, email,

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the (260), and (177), that (80), you (56), this (51), have (50), but (47), with (37), for (35), not (34), our (32), all (30), from (30), they (29), are (28), her (25), 2012 (23), his (22), what (21), will (21), says (21), she (21), see (20), has (19), like (18), how (18), #species (18), life (17), june (17), when (17), out (17), one (17), now (16), was (16), him (15), say (15), know (15), though (14), because (14), there (14), good (14), man (14), other (13), myself (13), feel (13), look (13), love (13), water (13), woman (13), new (12), 2011 (12), 2013 (12), time (12), many (12), 2014 (11), even (11), then (11), day (11), things (11), just (11), october (10), 2015 (10), these (10), yet (10), tree (10), over (10), about (10), your (9), november (9), december (9), march (9), been (9), could (9), more (9), its (9), off (9), meg (9), eyes (9), which (9), small (9), invasive (9), comments (8), january (8), may (8), would (8), think (8), some (8), who (8), well (8), being (8), here (8), own 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Text of the page (random words):
o orient pearls menu about month june 2012 musings strong woman uncategorized pampered june 28 2012 meg 2 comments as i spread the smelly black goo i feel my body working i get into a rhythm pushing the puddle of it along and then back again my mind gets into its rhythm my breath is labored as sweat pours from my brow but it is steady and even all this is for an end result inside my daughter is cutting in the edges of color in the downstairs bathroom we both mourn the loss of the dark purple scattered with stars and galaxies hand painted i leave it on the ceiling as a small rebellion today i have decided will be the big push day i paint the stairway to the basement i paint the ceiling the walls and the downstairs bathroom i recover the driveway i have so much to do by my goal date i find myself uncertain if i will be able to do it all i have run out of money i surely will be out of time i need two more of me to do the work i need a patron i need an influx of money i need more hours in the day i need free labor i feel a certain pride in what i am able to do by myself one thing i am not able to do is figure out how to use a caulk gun i throw it on the ground in frustration and then go to the hardware store to buy a squeeze tube i am annoyed but there is this pride i look at the paint on my fingers and think of how it is good to be strong fierce and independent i think of how good it is to have the ability to do these things and that despite the weight of my body there is tremendous strength and stamina but wouldn t it be nice to have manicured fingers to be encrusted in diamonds sitting by a pool a fashion magazine on my lap listlessly glancing at photos and only reading the captions of the most interesting pictures and watching lazily as the pool boy vacuums out the pool i imagine this life i imagine myself as this woman as i spill another puddle of goo on the driveway sweeping it over this way and back again uncategorized listening to the falling rain june 24 2012 meg 1 comment he looks at me with those big brown eyes and he barks at me he looks at me he looks at the mess in the room i am working on he huffs at me a bark that means go out but he was out only a short time ago okay buddy i say okay i shower first because i am sweaty dusty and covered in the sticky clingy bits of animal hair and shredded paper that faced me as i sat on the floor i decide to go about a quarter of a mile further from home eyeing the dark clouds i wonder if i might have made an error when the wind picks up at the farthest place from home i feel a drip on my calf my shoulder blade my forearm though i do not see any dark spots on the pavement soon the pavement is covered with the spots the dog alerts me to something i stop and look and see a turkey vulture sitting on a small patch of grass i stand and look at it until it flies off into the trees i wonder as to its symbolism i have not seen one in the city ever i return home and make blueberry pancakes for myself and for the dog then i get ready for bed i feel so tired the emotional reset that always happens to me at the end of a school year i close my eyes and listen to the soft rain falling musings simplicity is a royal robe june 23 2012 meg 2 comments i procrastinate thinking it will be emotionally difficult and because it is ugly dirty work i set out three boxes garage sale keep morgan i have grown tired of the clutter of the rows of books of the tools no one will ever use of the wooden things bought for never completed projects of the objects for projects started but not thought out failed projects that crashed off the wood siding that always i cleaned up a new pile starts garbage recycled metal things that those who come in to replace the fleeing souls might need i realize that i feel no attachments to these accouterments of another life to these leaves of another season to these things coated in dust to these rags simplicity feels like a royal robe and as the piles grow in size i realize with a small feeling of joy that the keep pile is tiny and even that has many items that i feel no attachment to instead i feel a pang that i might need it though in many cases i have never needed any of it when the turkey vulture soared from this still living tree it squawked some message about this place being our little home and yet it never was it has always been my labor and my love that keep this place afloat i see that now my labor and for many years my money and yet its ghost still lingers here it feels so cold my breath exhales in a cloud of icy fog i shiver i have yet to decide which road to take next i just know that what must be done must be done i cannot escape it the steps i take now are leading me into a cave i close my eyes and reach out with my fingers it must be like learning to read braille i feel its texture and its damp cool breath i know that there will be spiders but i am not afraid artists humor rants cube and pubic hair june 21 2012 meg 3 comments she comes in my room and asks me if i enjoy going to galleries my answer is like me frank and upfront i have many issues with galleries first i hate the pinky finger pointing in the air as the wine or tea is sipped what kind of markers do you use oh sharpies or some cheap marker they sell at x oh well i use nothing but the best supplies um okay congratulations would you like some cucumber water sure thing but i would rather have lemon water or water water just drink your damn tea the right way pretentious ass you stand looking at a urinal or a bucket of piss or some image of a teenager spying on a woman as she masturbates or an anatomically correct drawing of a testicle okay i cannot help but think somebody is in the green room laughing his or her ass off as i stand here using flowering language to describe how astonishing and avant garde and cutting edge and visionary it is i tell her about waiting in line for 45 minutes to see some installation in dc last year once you got in it was literally a dark room with a white wall and a red light cutting edge and visionary i said in my super loud voice are you kidding me i waited in line for 45 minutes for this this is stupid and inane and like pt barnum said there is a sucker born every minute and i am the one born for this minute and frankly that eric fischl that to this day i cannot even look at because it is so offensive to my eyes the drawing is just porn and not even porn that makes you feel a turned on it makes you feel dirty it kept his name in my head though i didn t even have to look it up the book is in my box of sell or throw out though the rest of the book is great but that picture on the front cover skieves me bad real bad although technically it is a very good painting if he didn t shock you you wouldn t really give it a second glance and as for the picasso that someone spray painted okay have you actually looked at the painting it wasn t even a very good one but because it has picasso s name on it is a masterpiece it is priceless it is a tragedy even art magazines don t feature new artists picasso and matisse the impressionists o keeffe yes amazing art but tired and old and do we have to be shocked for it to catch our attention yes i guess we do so she says to me so the emperor walks by and you say oh look its just a cube with pubic hair yep i say i am going to make it you should do it live she says i am gagging the critics will say it will just curl your senses i am laughing shit i just gave away an amazing idea maybe i will do spun sugar dripping from the ceiling with all the animal hair dust bunnies floating about the room so it sticks to the spun sugar it will be astonishing cutting edge such a profound message about the nature of humanity or just me laughing my ass off in the back room look that guy is naked climate change musings nature rants uncategorized the most invasive species june 20 2012 meg 3 comments many of our local lakes and rivers struggle with an invasive species of mussel called the zebra mussel it wrecks havoc on our ecosystem as well as water based infrastructure a native of russia they were originally thought to have been brought in on the hulls anchors or ballast water of boats entering the great lakes from the st lawrence seaway although they have destroyed much they also have helped the ecosystem because they filter toxins from water and have actually done some good with the highly polluted great lakes and according to wikipedia all of the things i stated previously i knew from following this for many years but this is new to me they have actually been accounted for the increase in the population of small mouth bass zebra mussels in clark reservation where i hike as often as i can there are several invasive species buckthorn a shrubby tree that was brought here as a purge medicine chokes out other species of trees and make bushwhacking very difficult also the pale swallow wort an invasive species of milkweed that takes over the natural plants including the local common milkweed that monarch butterflies love swallow wort is however toxic to monarchs and cattle for that matter but when i heard on the news the other day that one of the great fears from the japanese tsunami is the possibility of a new invasion of unwanted species i had to stop and think swallow wort zebra mussels carried on the hulls of ships is a product of human invasion tsunamis are a natural occurrence of nature and therefore are not the events that transpire with new species being introduced to the western coastline just a product of change and natural selection something we should embrace as we continue to destroy our own ecosystem as we continue to kill off species of plants and animals around the world not only by our own introduction of toxins to the environment but also by our introduction of green house gases to the atmosphere or global climate change many species which occur naturally in our area are predicted to die out and a climate more in line with north carolina s ecosystem will replace ours do we not want hurricanes to blow pollen seeds and flying creatures into our region to replace that which we are killing already one day i was having a conversation with someone about global climate change and he said something that i had never heard before or thought of when the climate changes we will adapt or not other species will adapt or not and new species will arise over the millenia things have changed and our planet adapts hm ok the thing is that for a long time i have thought of humans as giant germs or a great cancer slowly but surely killing our earth we prevent new species from coming in introduce species which in the end choke out old species kill living things to prevent them from establishing in the environment because in the short term other species cannot adapt we rebuild beaches being washed away naturally by the tides and currents of the ocean build on flood plains and then wrench our hearts with the awfulness of tragedy when they flood build below the existing waterway destroy water trees plants and animals all in the name of our dominance over the earth a cougar or a bear in our front yard we kill it though we are the invader in their territory we even do it and have always done it to other humans we want your land we take it we slaughter other humans so that we have access to their resources and yet we are resistant to culling ourselves resistant to stopping ourselves from populating areas that should be left alone move around the globe establishing ourselves in places where there are already existing populations of humans as we begin to explore space we are like a metastasized cancer spreading out to new planets what if intelligent life out there one day views us as an invasive species that must be eliminated what if we are visited by outsiders from the universe and we decide they too are an invasive species hell the whole immigration debate is about preventing an invasive crop of human beings right they take our jobs zebra mussels kill off other species of lake life they use our resources they eat the food other life forms want to eat they don t learn our language they form their own colonies but too there are good things what would the us be like without tacos or salsa dancing or latin music or the architecture and art of central america what would the great lakes be like if the zebra mussels had not spent the last several decades cleaning up the humans water pollution it is human beings who are invasive and i have thought for a long time that the bible should not have said humans have dominion over the earth rather that they are care takers of the earth but the bible says love one another but i suppose not the invasive ones musings nature small joys strong woman treasure trees what a man what a man what a mighty good man june 17 2012 meg 2 comments i want to see him but he is having a bad week and he is miserable our brief conversation leaves me with that feeling the one you have when you have an argument with your very best friend the feeling of wanting to talk to someone but you cannot talk to the one person that knows you best the next day is uneventful although always on these days this new but small fear of being abandoned by the one i love appears that s it now i will never ever hear from him again but as i sit in the sun on my front steps my book on my lap eyes closed my phone rings and it is his voice calmer than yesterday there is no sullen no pout no days of suffering for speaking my mind instead there is cheerfulness acknowledge of the small place that i was right and a carefree plan to spend the weekend in my company as i hang up the phone i am struck by this i am the sunshine inside out we spend the day running errands taking pleasure in one another s company laughing teasing playing working he climbs the small roof and trims back the sycamore all i had hoped for was the branch that was brushing the chimney he climbs up on the high roof and trims the branches up high and when he climbs down again i high five him though is face is poised for a kiss which i also give him i say you did so much more than i ever expected after i have taken all the brush to the curb and begin to clean up he pulls my lawnmower from the shed and starts to mow we polish off the day with beer and pool and then hot tub we both fall asleep exhausted today after hiking the back edges of our favorite park where i laugh at myself saying i am afraid of heights because i know how damn clumsy i am the likely hood of tripping is so great that the fear hits me in the pit of my stomach though last time i felt he was unhappy with my fear this time he says it is true that if you trip and fall up here it can be bad it could mean a big fall into a deep crevice exactly i say exactly we pass the tree where on our first outing together which we have both deemed not a date because the date came months later in a snowstorm we stood and drank hot tea from a thermos it warmed my laryn...