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description=5 posts published by Meg during June 2015;

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june 2015 living a life skip to content living a life change the pebbles of our puddly thought to orient pearls menu about month june 2015 uncategorized back steps june 22 2015 meg leave a comment the house it begins to look like a home and the man he puts in the kind of effort that makes me stop and feel valued every old hole is spackled non functioning electric heat is taken from the walls holes patched the roof being replaced so it doesn t leak on my paintings just in case though it only leaked once the floor being refinished to match the rest of the house a woodstove and backup heat being put in so my paints won t freeze i sit on the back steps as my dogs nose the grass marley breaking into a run and skidding to a stop sancho moseying about slowly making his way back to me a scare of being pretty sick for the past several days those of which for him are numbered at this point i sip my coffee as i watch a moth flutter down from the sky note the dogs and flit off almost drunkenly in another direction the ground a plush carpet of catalpa flowers dotted with anthills and mole hills and dewy grass and white clover in front and now in back my medicinal herb garden growing plans to make a giant daisy garden in the front next year he doesn t know it yet but i know he will do it for me my new white clothesline stretched where the old one was sheets and pillowcase smelling of country air they do smell good when hung on the line in the city but until you smell them hung on the line in the country you have not smelled the most cherished perfume and here on the back steps with my coffee i am heady with it that smell of country uncategorized wild strawberries june 14 2015 meg leave a comment night time by a wood fire outside in lawn chairs we talk and laugh and an offer is made for wild strawberries they are small she says she knows that he says sancho and i amble up the sandy hill and there are wild strawberries everywhere and soon there will be black berries or black caps the field is filled with wild yarrow mullein cinquefoil and as i pick each tiny berry on my hands and knees in the low grass dog trying to steal berries out of my bowl and me feeding him the small sweet juicy and maybe a little bit sandy morsels there i see two leaves i pluck one and pop it in my mouth tasting the familiar tart sweet of sheep sorrel i pop the other in my mouth just as quick i find a lot more enough to make a small salad in the heat of the sun dew soaking my pants and that bitter smell of country it is like my soul has been waiting to come home he gives me free reign of his land as long as i stay out in hunting season uncategorized country june 11 2015 june 11 2015 meg leave a comment the morning is misty across the newly planted fields the air cool and refreshing it may be an extra five minutes of driving but more than half of it is through these country roads i find new ways to go home some days just to get more of it home delicious home i love to walk out on the back step in the morning with the dogs and my coffee the smells and the dew on the grass the trees waving happily healthy in the steady breeze of this place no wonder the neighbor has a windmill often i smell horse but i love that smell i am awake for a long time listening to the rain falling outside the windows i hear nothing else no loud music no arguing drunks no sirens just birds and rain and sometimes cars driving by we walk to the horse barn on the corner and i smell this familiar smell from childhood it is this bitter smell of oats that puffy headed grass that is not wheat nor timothy vetch something i don t know but as it enters my nose i feel warm and happy the cars are fast on the road but the dog romps in the ditch and barks at the horses and the horses come over to the fence it is electric so we all keep our distance i blow in their direction and the black horse flares its nostrils and the piebald spotty brown dalmatian looking one shyly stands behind and the pinto snuffles the black one this is my friend here i wave good bye as we walk back home it feels good finally to leave the city it feels good finally to be home uncategorized building june 8 2015 meg leave a comment the chuck on the drill driver is broken and i lose a bit down along the side of the house sorry sorry i say sorry it s okay babe i have more and the damn thing is broken we work together to reinforce the deck and replace two boards broken from falling ice we discuss using metal work to create the slats i hand him boards he asks if i am comfortable with the saw no i say right answer he says not a mocking word about being an independent woman not a derisive put down about being stupid just okay no problem no arguing we sit with our beers in the breezy warm afternoon shade keeping the warm away wind keeping the bugs away i like working with you i say we are a good team it is not just that we are actually working together we joke and laugh and tease and do well together i like this i tell him this peace he laughs and says we are getting too old to not have peace i put my legs up on his lap self conscious because they are huge bruised covered with bug bites a massage therapist once told my ex husband that my calves to my ankles were not slender i am not sure why he felt he should say anything to my ex but it was a criticism of not being feminine and delicate enough sorry about my giant legs i say if they are too heavy let me know i like your legs he says they are like a polish peasant s legs the legs of a hard working woman from a long line of hard working women i dream of my ex insulting my mother in the dream i tell him he can say whatever he wants to me but he better keep his damn mouth shut about my mom he runs away inside his house and i taunt him telling him to come outside if he wants to start shit with me he comes out and we start to fight he kicks half heartedly and ineffectually swings his arms at me he walks away i ask him what is it like spending nearly 20 years of his life living off the financial support of single mothers i ask him if he is proud of using women and their little girls in this way he ignores me i wake in a cold sweat shaking angry and really sad i wrap my arms around marley and lay awake for a long time why do i still dream about him all i want to do is forget i roll over and wrap my arm around tom and kiss his bare back he says mmm i fall asleep uncategorized rock june 1 2015 meg leave a comment he calls me the rock of the family and i am deeply pleased do we embrace the compliments we are given or do we see them smile and then let them go i am so new to this family am i a rock and one of the boys throws me compliments all weekend little sentimental comments that make me know he thinks highly of me i hear him say that is a mini meg i ask him who and he points out a little baby with curly red hair that baby is a mini you he says look how cute she is and the one son the one i worry about the most given a choice he shops with me not his dad becoming my sherpa and when i gently tell him to get up he does though his brother usually has to kick him i tell them all your dad needs help with this he cannot carry the burden alone and it needs to be done they all pitch in most of all the one who worries me worried about a medical exam i am quiet at breakfast don t worry until you have to he says i have your back recent posts begin again speaking of lantern in the dark full moon setting no title archives october 2025 october 2022 march 2022 december 2021 november 2021 october 2021 december 2020 may 2019 april 2019 february 2019 january 2019 march 2018 february 2018 january 2018 december 2017 november 2017 august 2017 may 2017 march 2017 january 2017 november 2016 october 2016 june 2016 april 2016 march 2016 january 2016 december 2015 november 2015 october 2015 september 2015 august 2015 july 2015 june 2015 may 2015 march 2015 february 2015 december 2014 november 2014 october 2014 september 2014 august 2014 july 2014 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