Meta tags:
description=2 posts published by Thorn during December 2007;

Headings (most frequently used words):

thornacious, archive, for, december, 2007, categories, archives, common, courtesy, starting, with, numero, uno, quick, update,

Text of the page (most frequently used words):
and (44), the (43), that (32), you (25), this (20), for (20), was (18), just (13), about (12), not (12), like (11), but (11), really (11), have (10), when (10), how (9), all (9), been (9), down (9), with (8), make (8), myself (8), don (8), they (8), women (8), putting (8), 2007 (7), some (7), then (7), say (7), there (7), them (7), self (7), #december (6), out (6), think (6), did (6), saying (6), sure (6), which (6), know (6), more (6), get (5), sign (5), someone (5), because (5), could (5), thing (5), from (5), fat (5), loving (5), our (5), friends (5), started (4), thornacious (4), blog (4), 2008 (4), 2009 (4), good (4), figure (4), few (4), people (4), work (4), other (4), friend (4), his (4), who (4), only (4), bad (4), something (4), kind (4), even (4), any (4), new (4), year (4), thank (4), going (4), can (4), yourself (4), being (4), part (4), wordpress (3), com (3), now (3), october (3), also (3), should (3), will (3), around (3), try (3), before (3), too (3), much (3), well (3), one (3), classes (3), first (3), would (3), class (3), had (3), sort (3), were (3), thinking (3), she (3), tell (3), here (3), admit (3), got (3), better (3), said (3), take (3), deserve (3), put (3), things (3), are (3), conversation (3), others (3), time (3), social (3), own (3), site (2), log (2), subscribed (2), subscribe (2), already (2), january (2), weeks (2), depression (2), voltron (2), won (2), ass (2), way (2), mean (2), keep (2), instructor (2), ideas (2), poses (2), give (2), yeah (2), almost (2), talking (2), experience (2), instructors (2), process (2), reality (2), differently (2), expect (2), your (2), body (2), works (2), most (2), totally (2), where (2), into (2), acceptance (2), emailed (2), reason (2), didn (2), mine (2), want (2), mom (2), haven (2), making (2), doing (2), sorry (2), worth (2), nyah (2), why (2), loser (2), thought (2), strain (2), shut (2), after (2), use (2), awesome (2), compliments (2), their (2), wants (2), anyone (2), resolutions (2), opt (2), discussion (2), cool (2), weight (2), her (2), such (2), realized (2), defense (2), shouldn (2), telling (2), big (2), spare (2), trouble (2), stance (2), wasn (2), maybe (2), generational (2), feel (2), nothing (2), hatred (2), compliment (2), what (2), themselves (2), ourselves (2), common (2), courtesy (2), shit (2), post (2), design, collapse, bar, manage, subscriptions, view, reader, report, content, privacy, account, create, free, website, november, march, february, may, archives, uncategorized, categories, comment, seeing, couple, able, help, defeating, kick, fine, talk, touch, guy, once, through, holidays, start, trolling, asking, modify, decided, last, night, child, pose, belly, gets, finally, backed, again, wrote, back, huge, suggesting, drop, might, helpful, incredible, skim, left, inbox, days, acted, than, written, him, interested, knee, thoughtful, non, judgmental, response, came, sent, email, probably, key, success, right, considering, capacity, overthink, paralysis, shocking, display, maturity, looked, explained, plus, size, woman, asked, modifying, larger, fit, suggest, both, trying, yoga, day, taking, beginner, join, happening, despite, ongoing, battle, insidious, combination, grief, sad, mild, ppd, handling, until, died, net, extra, gold, star, sayin, progress, small, steps, life, toward, greater, person, updated, lately, quick, update, comments, easy, unlike, dieting, opting, junk, gotta, far, hardest, tacking, still, suckbag, omigod, times, chew, inside, mouth, off, keeping, learned, practice, advanced, techniques, complimented, completely, purple, shirt, ago, followed, full, credit, though, caz, bought, wow, looks, great, replied, thanks, deny, wrong, list, reasons, admiration, stop, show, world, treatment, treating, ways, haters, doesn, these, two, suggestions, happier, language, theirs, has, mind, need, combat, insane, must, diet, crap, flooding, airwaves, latter, argument, seem, impression, several, spawned, secondary, thread, build, esteem, read, hope, whole, package, sit, geez, barb, lose, giant, hadn, best, offense, bashing, shallow, callous, possibly, anything, blob, lard, little, pain, anyway, course, pointed, adopting, belligerently, sake, noticed, nobody, else, either, weren, weird, silences, wanted, pick, less, groups, rely, chivalrous, set, cues, codes, hmm, old, phenomenon, except, made, complimenting, shield, dunno, feels, look, call, fatty, mcfatterson, fish, lame, backhanded, order, abide, designed, situation, imagine, cultural, expectation, modest, demure, supposed, complimenter, worthy, high, praise, while, absolutely, sense, somehow, beating, nice, honestly, number, bafflingly, polite, bash, spared, leave, roll, toilet, paper, easily, accessible, place, guests, over, apparently, lot, broadcasting, simply, personally, prefer, belligerent, disparaging, gonna, let, goddamn, breath, mistakes, personality, quirks, foibles, difference, between, present, late, getting, mail, sometimes, everyone, worthless, guess, always, seemed, signaling, believe, treated, largely, least, ones, helped, control, prophylactic, effect, oneself, elsewhere, teh, intarwubs, recently, literally, fun, practically, direct, quote, reading, deniselle, dealing, reply, fifth, paragraph, perhaps, ought, turn, poorly, tended, goes, recent, starting, numero, uno, archive, thorn, home,

Text of the page (random words):
december 2007 thornacious thornacious home who is thorn archive for december 2007 common courtesy starting with numero uno i was reading deniselle s recent post about dealing with her mom and i started to reply around the time when i started my fifth paragraph i realized perhaps i ought to just turn this into a post on my own poorly tended blog so here goes elsewhere on teh intarwubs i recently was part of a conversation which was literally should we fat women make fun of ourselves i shit you not that s practically a direct quote now most women said that it was something they did largely in self defense that at least if they were the ones putting themselves down they would know when and where and how bad it was going to be and that it helped them to feel that they were in control of it which i get for all that i m not sure that there s really any sort of prophylactic effect in putting oneself down to me i guess it s always seemed that if you put yourself down then you are signaling to others that this is how you believe you deserve to be treated and don t expect any better and no i m not saying we shouldn t admit our mistakes or admit to our own personality quirks and foibles but there s a big difference between sorry your present is so late i m really bad about getting things in the mail sometimes and telling everyone how worthless you are personally i prefer to take a more self loving and belligerent stance which is that if anyone wants to say something disparaging about me then they re gonna have to do the work i m sure as shit not going to do it for them let them figure out what to say and how to say it and use their own goddamn breath to do it but honestly what really got to me in this discussion was the number of women who thought putting themselves down was bafflingly the polite thing to do like if we bash on ourselves then we ve spared our friends trouble just like when we make sure to leave a spare roll of toilet paper in an easily accessible place when we have guests over apparently to a lot of fat women broadcasting self hatred is simply common courtesy and while i can t be absolutely sure i did get a sense that this was in part a generational thing like somehow beating yourself up for being fat was only being nice i imagine it s part of a cultural expectation that women be modest and demure when someone compliments us we re supposed to tell our complimenter that no really we re not worthy of such high praise it s the this old thing phenomenon except it s not because as fat women we re made to feel that we have nothing worth complimenting and so putting the shield of self hatred up i dunno maybe for some women it feels almost like saying look don t strain yourself i know there s nothing for you to compliment about me so i m going to call myself a fatty mcfatterson so you don t have to fish around for some lame or backhanded compliment to make in order to abide by some social more that wasn t really designed for this situation maybe it s less generational and more to do with being part of social groups that rely on a more chivalrous set of social cues and codes hmm anyway in the course of this conversation one of the things i pointed out was that after adopting my belligerently self loving stance of not putting myself down for the sake of others i noticed that really nobody else did it either and there weren t even weird silences from time to time like someone wanted to pick on my weight but wasn t sure how and that s about when i realized that i hadn t just been putting myself down in all that best defense is a good offense self bashing i d been putting my friends down as well not only had i been saying i m a loser and you shouldn t like me i d been telling my friends i think you re so shallow and callous that you can t possibly think of me as anything but a big blob of lard so to take a little of the pain out of being my friend i will spare you the trouble of putting me down and just do it myself my friends like me as i am the whole package they don t sit there thinking geez it s too bad barb won t lose weight i d totally be better friends with her if she didn t have such a giant ass the good thing was that not only did that latter argument seem to make an impression on several of the women in the discussion but this conversation also sort of spawned a secondary thread about how to build one s self esteem which was awesome and really cool to read i know i got some cool ideas from it i hope others did too but all this has put me in the mind of new year s resolutions because really we need to do something to combat all the insane it s the new year so you must diet crap that s flooding the airwaves so here for anyone who doesn t already do these things are my two suggestions for resolutions to make a happier you in the new year they co opt our language i co opt theirs nyah 1 make the haters do the work if someone wants to put you down make them do the work stop doing it for them show the world you deserve kind loving treatment by treating yourself in kind loving ways 2 just say thank you when someone compliments you don t deny it don t tell them they re wrong don t give them a list of reasons why you don t deserve their admiration just say thank you and then shut up when i first started all this loving myself junk i gotta admit 2 there was by far the hardest just saying thank you and not tacking on some reason why i was still a loser suckbag omigod the first few times i thought i was going to have to chew the inside of my mouth off from the strain of keeping it shut but i learned i got better at it now after much practice i can even use some of the more advanced techniques like when a friend complimented my completely awesome purple t shirt a few weeks ago i said thank you and then followed up with i can t take full credit though caz bought it for me and when she said really wow because it looks great on you i replied thanks yeah i really like it it s not easy but unlike dieting it works and you re worth it ha more co opting nyah december 29 2007 at 1 19 pm 2 comments quick update i know i haven t been doing much to keep this blog o mine updated lately sorry y all for all that i haven t been making progress on this here blog i have been making small steps in my life toward y know greater acceptance of myself as a fat person and before i even tell you i just want to say that this is all happening despite my ongoing battle with the insidious depression voltron the combination of grief sad and mild ppd which i d been kind of handling myself up until mom died so y know i think that should net me an extra gold star just sayin so a friend of mine and i were talking about how we d both been thinking about trying yoga in the new year so she emailed me the other day saying i m thinking about taking this beginner class want to join me and i in a shocking display of maturity and body acceptance looked it up and emailed the instructor and explained that i am a plus size woman and asked if he had experience modifying poses for larger people and if he for any reason didn t think his class would be a good fit for me if he could suggest any other classes or instructors i could try i m not even sure where that came from i just sort of sent out the email before i could think about it which is probably a key to the success of it right there considering my capacity to overthink myself into paralysis well he wrote back this huge thing talking about his experience and suggesting i try one of his drop in classes and then also other classes and instructors who might be helpful to me as well it was so incredible i could only skim it at first and then left it in my inbox a few days just to process the reality of it i mean he acted no differently than i expect he would have if i d written him saying i am interested in your class but my body works differently from most people s because i have a bad knee or something it was really like i say i had to just process the reality of his kind thoughtful totally non judgmental response finally i almost backed out but my friend was all sign up sign up sign up so again before i could think about it too much i did i figure once i get through the holidays i will start trolling around asking for ideas on how other people modify poses because i decided to just give it a try last night and uh yeah child s pose is a no go for me my belly gets in the way but that s fine i figure i will talk to a few people and keep in touch with this instructor guy and we ll figure out how to make this work for me also i m seeing someone in a couple weeks so i should be able to get some help in defeating depression voltron and won t that be a kick in the ass in a good way i mean december 21 2007 at 2 03 pm 1 comment categories uncategorized archives october 2009 may 2009 february 2009 january 2009 december 2008 october 2008 march 2008 january 2008 december 2007 november 2007 october 2007 create a free website or blog at wordpress com subscribe subscribed thornacious sign me up already have a wordpress com account log in now privacy thornacious subscribe subscribed sign up log in report this content view site in reader manage subscriptions collapse this bar design a site like this with wordpress com get started