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Text of the page (random words):
ly happy and i just feel like she isn t going to bounce back maybe i m being pessimistic and when she does die there will be an extra layer of grief because she is also j s cat j loves her so much and the thought of her experiencing that difficult to understand loss guts me j is still a terrible sleeper i feel like a bit of a failure i really thought it d just come in time and it has not right now we re working on getting her to fall asleep alone and then we tackle the staying in her bed all night issue i don t mind co sleeping if she sleeps but she kicks not accidentally on purpose in order to annex more bed i hate it it s making us all miserable and it needs to stop we re going camping tomorrow yurt camping at macgregor point any tips on camping with a toddler are welcome july 31 2017 sofhearts 10 comments we have a talker it happened really suddenly until a few weeks ago j had a huge number of words but mostly used them individually with the occasional two or three word sentence and then she said four words together then five and now our child is never quiet she tells us what is happening two people dogs walking on road felix not happy felix under couch now felix under table mommy not happy mommy sad no hitting she tells us what she wants want oat bar yes please and shoes on go outside blow bubbles and no take book away mommy want book read read i m fairly certain that she would like that to be in all caps she tells us how she feels when we got back in the car after visiting a conservation area with a farm she announced outside fun happy animals she s also quick to tell us when she s either sad or not happy but these announcements are still often coupled with throwing things she knows the titles of 90 of her books she ll even recite parts of them it blows my mind also on the flip side my mind misses the glimpses of quiet that i had until recently the chatter is almost incessant and while i mostly love it i also love quiet i was a quiet kid and am a quiet adult i have seen videos of my wife as a child and she was a serious chatter box so there s that i ll adapt i suppose get used to the unending chatter the same way i got used to the white noise machine we started using to help j s sleep when the power went out for a few hours last night i could barely sleep without the crackly faux water noises that have been the backdrop to our sleep for the past year and a half between the night noise and the day noise i doubt a quiet house will ever feel the same to me but it s all worth it because this kid has said i love you mommy big hugs about five times already today may 10 2017 sofhearts 10 comments sisters without caveats i have three sisters but i still feel like an only child in a lot of ways two of these sisters are my step sisters whom i have known since i was fourteen one h is two years younger than i am and the other is six years older a i lived with h one week on one week off for four years and we were sort of close ish during that time but haven t been since then she is emotionally distant to everyone in the family not just me and very conservative in a family of bleeding hearts a and i are closer but still don t see talk to each other that often in recent years when her relationship with her kid s dad broke up about 6 years ago we saw a lot of each other and i took care of my nephew at least one day a week but she has a new partner now and we live in different cities and while i love her we don t have the shared experience of having grown up together we ve never even lived together and we re also pretty dissimilar in how we live our lives and parent our kids i m still very glad to have her as a sister but i wish that we d grown up together for at least a little while the sister i did grow up with was born when i was four and a half one of my earliest memories of sisterhood was asking how long it would be until she d play with me she never did my mother thought something was wrong from right when n was born but it wasn t until she started having seizures that anyone took my mom s concerns seriously n is severely intellectually disabled moderately physically disabled and has uncontrolled seizures she didn t receive an actually diagnosis until about 10 years ago with the advent of more advanced genetic testing she has a micro deletion syndrome i ve thought to myself self pityingly on occasion that i had none of the benefits of having a sibling and all the drawbacks she was in and out of hospitals for our entire childhood and still is and she required so much care and energy from my exhausted depressed parents that they didn t really much of those things to give to anyone else not each other not me i vacillated between thinking that n would be cured and worrying n would die i think they probably did too they separated got back together then finally divorced which was a relief to us all i did not have a happy childhood and i sure as fuck did not have a happy sibling relationship i don t have a lot of unfulfilled dreams that i plan on inflicting upon my kids but i want so very much for them to have a reasonably pleasant childhood and a good relationship with one another i want j to have a sister without a caveat even if it s love hate i want them to have that intimacy with one another that i have so often wished for i always thought my mother truly hated her sisters but when i told her we were having another child she told me they re my best friends that s either some powerful sister magic or some serious bullshit but it sure is compelling she also will have a sister with a caveat f her donor s child who is her sister and also not since she lives on another continent april 29 2017 sofhearts 2 comments 10 things on a thursday so i didn t get a chance to do an update after our dating ultrasound but all was well and beebo was measuring a couple days ahead as was j at the same gestation we got to see some movement and the ultrasound was super clear compared to the one we had with j we also went through with nipt the pan orama test because of easter our results took a little longer but we got them last week beebo was given a low risk result which is great and we also found out the sex we re having another girl i was hoping to raise sisters probably because of my own sister baggage and fantasy of what a sister relationship could mean so i am pretty stoked d is finally feeling less nauseated it comes and goes now instead of being constant and she s much more interested in food she s working but trying to take it easy a bit she does freelance academic writing editing and also landscaping but at this time of year mostly landscaping which she is finding hard on her body overall she is feeling most pregnancy sensations are happening earlier and stronger than in her previous pregnancy and she s looking at least a month further along than she did last time we still don t have an ob which feels weird our gp will be making the referral soon and then we start seeing the ob at 18 weeks ish it all feels very casual this time around which we are okay with our gp is great and the ob we are being referred to is also great never imagined we d feel so comfortable not using a midwife but it feels like the right choice given j s birth and d s family history of cephalopelvic disproportion and cesareans j is going through a super challenging phase at least i hope it is a phase where she is throwing things a lot and really testing limits mostly by doing things that just aren t safe specifically to get attention she seems to do this especially when d and i are talking to each other rather than including her i m finding myself getting quite frustrated with her and the whole distraction and redirection thing that worked so well when she was younger is just not working yesterday she hit me in the face twice with wooden toys i m trying to regroup and remind myself that smart as she is she doesn t have a lot of impulse control and her feelings are big this behavioural change oddly has coincided with a huge leap in language development she is using some 4 and 5 word sentences though often without prepositions or pronouns which is really neat and tells us when she is happy and not happy being pursued by a toddler swinging her arms and chanting not happy makes me not happy but she also uses these verbal skills to chat about the tiny baby a mama belly which slays me she also knows all of her colours which happened really fast and without much guidance on our part she is constantly telling us what colour things are with a fairly high level of accuracy she seems to think that some browns are purple though we ve been spending lots of time outdoors now that it is warmer and j loves being outside so much she was over harvesting the flowers from our gardens and so d told her that the bees need them to make honey now she ll walk up to a flower reach out and then stop and say to herself flower bees honey it s adorable we did an easter egg hunt and it was the first holiday j really participated in it was such fun we hid dairy free treats and schleich animals in plastic eggs in the garden and she loved unearthing them and cracking them open after a rough bout of teething and illness we are bedsharing more and more do any of you co sleep with two kids how april 27 2017 sofhearts 1 comment and so it begins i don t think i m going to get that sick this time says my wife and then at exactly 6 weeks the nausea hit full force she s still functioning but she feels terrible and looks terrible but gorgeous of course luckily she has the rest of march off and can sort of ease back into work in april i think last time she was feeling better by about 14 weeks we re both surprised by how quickly things are changing with d feeling rough i ve been doing more of the parenting than usual and j has definitely noticed she asks for d more often and is a bit out of sorts it seems like already the pregnancy is taking d away from j a bit and like that is the beginning of what is in store when the newbie arrives a division of parenting in which i m parenting the toddler and d is parenting the newbie and we re thinking more about how hard this is going to be for j first getting used to having less access to her mama and then getting used to sharing us with a new baby as well it makes my heart hurt a bit and the question that plagues me right now is how on earth can i be there for d and the new baby in the hospital she ll be having a planned repeat cesarean and also make the absence transition as smooth as possible for j there is plenty of family to help but i don t want to totally disrupt her do i sleep at home or at the hospital how do i figure out a balance so that i m not letting anyone down if anyone has suggestions i am all ears d s first prenatal appointment was yesterday she ll be seeing our gp for a while and then transferring to an ob she s decided not to try a vbac for a bunch of reasons and we both feel good about that decision in just under two weeks she ll have a dating ultrasound then nipt at 9 weeks because of all the soft marker drama following j s anatomy scan we decided to pay out of pocket for nipt we just don t want to go through what we went through last time if the baby has soft markers it sounds like a weird thing to do because obviously j didn t end up having down s syndrome or anything so you d think that if the same thing happened again we d be calmer about it but we just want to know we ll also find out the sex which i am looking forward to i have more of a preference than i did with j but it doesn t really matter to me hugely this all sound like we re getting ahead of ourselves it s still so early for something that s the size of a pea but it s exciting i m trying not to succumb to the terror of everything that could go wrong like i did the first time and to instead focus on the most likely outcome a small new person joining us out here in the world in 7 1 2 months march 15 2017 sofhearts 3 comments 18 months it s been too long since i ve written an update about j and since i haven t been actually writing in her baby book this has become my record of her babyhood so i thought i d finally get to it i ve resorted to bullets but it s something j is now 18 months old i feel like we have such a strong sense of who she is now she s watchful and meticulous gregarious at home but a bit shy in public very affectionate with her moms but choosy about who else holds or touches her she likes order and routine and loves animals and nature she loves reading gymnastics being in water being outside music and food she dislikes things being out of place having sticky things on her hands having people ruffle her hair and pureed things she is way more like me in personality than i thought she would be though also like d of course and sometimes she reminds me of our donor and his daughter her vocabulary is huge and she s combining words much more often my favourite words right now are walnut octopus pronounced aht puh iguana and mine though i imagine i ll find the last one less cute very soon her ability to communicate is making this age a lot easier than it might otherwise be she can name about 15 body parts and if she hurts herself she will tell us what hurts which is really great the connections she makes between words is so interesting we put a quilt on her new bed that has a few tiny seahorses on it and without us naming them or drawing her attention to them she pointed and said neigh because of course a seahorse would say neigh right i can t even recall talking to her about seahorses other than at the aquarium a couple of months ago i m loving the increased independent play that she s been doing lately we gave her a kitchen set for christmas and that gets a lot of use as she cooks and serves tea and soup all day long her other favourite play things are her little schleich animals and a wooden barn she feeds her animals water from her water bottle and it kills me and an indoor wooden ikea slide that we picked up at a consignment shop she is reasonably active but i think less so than a lot of toddlers she ll sit still reading books for up to an hour and her attention span seems uncanny it seems like she is always running over to one of us with a book demanding read read just recently she s started filling in words when we read familiar stories and identifying objects in the pictures we started taking a gymnastics class about a month ago and she loves it it s for 16 month to 3 year olds and the parents attend the class too she is the youngest and by far the shortest kid there and she can t do all of the activities but it s been so awesome to have the big safe indoor space to run around in they also do 5 drop in days which is great i think that it is helping with her upper body strength which is not so strong maybe because she didn t crawl at all until fairly recently she practices her gymnastic moves at home and seems very proud of herself i think it gives her a lot of confid...
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date Mon, 02 Nov 2026 18:13:04 GMT
content-type text/html; charset=UTF-8
vary Accept-Encoding
x-hacker Want root? Visit join.a8c.com/hacker and mention this header.
host-header WordPress.com
link <htt????/public-api.wordpress.com/wp-json/?rest_route=/sites/threeheartsbeating.wordpress.com>; rel= htt????/api.w.org/
vary accept, content-type, cookie
link <htt????/wp.me/5NzD6>; rel=shortlink
content-encoding gzip
x-ac 29.cdg _dca MISS
x-remembering Eric Binnion <htt????/friendsofericbinnion.wordpress.com/>
alt-svc clear
strict-transport-security max-age=31536000
server-timing a8c-cdn, dc;desc=cdg, cache;desc=MISS;dur=357.0

Meta Tags

title="Three Hearts Beating Two lesbian mamas make some queer spawn"
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Load Info

page size144128
load time (s)0.417931
redirect count1
speed download102477
server IP 192.0.78.13
* all occurrences of the string "http://" have been changed to "htt???/"