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Text of the page (random words):
the end monday november 12 2007 kiwi s success kiwi is a master thesis animation by dony permedio of school of arts and is considered the most popular animation on the internet it s viewed on youtube 12 890 583 times favorited 110 022 times and the winner of the first annual video awards under most adorable category it s simple in everything idea animation no marvelous texture but if there wasn t something special about it it wouldn t become that popular there should be a key for its success see it on press and an interview with dony i actually came across it through an adv in my messenger banner and as i m interested in animation cartoon i looked out for it it s a bit sad cute innocent about a flightless bird to know about the real kiwi bird here who dreamt to soar so he built an illusionary spacious for himself on the cliff as he used to image it in his mind every time he chased his dream everyone could receive the message from the movie differently but for a cute simple cartoon i don t think it should be analyzed and complicated further rather it should be taken as it s to remain simple which is the key point that attracted me i think attracted most of the viewers i also think there will be a second part of the movie one question remains in my mind since i saw the adv on my msn banner a 3 min bird s dream leads to an unexpected dream is the way to fame and success that easy what i think of don t bog down you just desperately need a new approach to use your ideas as a stepping stone posted by tota at 4 00 am 7 comments email this blogthis share to x share to facebook share to pinterest thursday november 01 2007 asceticism what i wish for is a safe life that simple my feelings can run away with me and at times even run my life sometimes it can be so close to the surface that my rational mind doesn t stand a chance then i become my emotions and feel out of control sorrow or pain that turned to anger someone told me you will feel sad then your feelings will turn to anger at then i said anger of what there is no point in that gradually i realized that it s true troubles problems obstacles explode like a volcano and your feelings are always your own none will ever feel it or know it the way you do no matter how close that person is to you it s your own chemistry and rules that act as a catalysis for the unique chemical reactions inside you they are unique in a way that your sorrow is never like anyone else s sorrow and your anger is not similar to others anger like the fingerprint i m tired of hearing these words over and over again i understand how you feel i know how it looks like i know i feel but when you dig deeper u find out that they r on the other side of the river bank that you will never meet them and you will get yourself into more trouble trying to explain your point of view and your feelings to them so you will keep silent how helpful does it really matter that others know and why why do we always try to desperately let others know how we feel to keep explaining explaining our own feelings for the reset of our lives does it make any difference to hear some calming words or see some brave reactions but that wont change the fact that you are feeling the way you feel deep inside you know they are only calming words or the call of duty that forces them to act the way they did duty of love care fear whatever shape of duty something forces them to do what they do it doesn t matter i m not sure is it a new phase of anti socialism i m tired of talking hanging around i m tired of every kind of the social life i stopped returning back the others calls or even calling anyone even my intimate friends family i just feel it s a burden i stopped going out i have no desire in any of these stuffs and i m glade of that regardless of the fact that this lifestyle wills lead me to a mild depression after a while it could be a desperate attempt to find a point at the start line to start or to finish an undesired page or a desired one all sides and faces are similar someone passes away and a new born is carrying his same name in commemoration of the dead but i know that this new soul will never be a replica of the past one we are pathetic because we are always on the run of our end while it s the only affirmative truth we have posted by tota at 5 12 am 5 comments email this blogthis share to x share to facebook share to pinterest gratitude i want to thank everyone who dropped me a line or sent me an email during the last period on his her feelings thank you for your words your support posted by tota at 4 43 am email this blogthis share to x share to facebook share to pinterest tuesday april 17 2007 my father died al bakaa lellah on wednesday 11 4 2007 at 9 20 pm قُل يتوفَّاكُم مَّلَكُ الموتِ الذي وكِّلَ بِكُم ثٌمَّ الى ربـِّـكم تُرجَعُون إنا للــه و إنا إلية راجعون posted by tota at 2 44 pm 13 comments email this blogthis share to x share to facebook share to pinterest monday april 02 2007 hope and prayer maybe it s my first time here to speak about my family but i need to push it all lately i have been curled inside myself every kind of thought i just pushed it away i have written many posts but i didn t publish them i dunno why maybe coz i feel it s not worthy today at this moment i m sitting alone in my room melancholy and sadness everywhere i just don t like to admit it or leave a chance for myself to involve it into depression coz i know i wont withstand it but sometimes i cant help but isolating myself and crying in my room silently i pray pray for god to heal him my father is ill very ill just 4 months ago we discovered that he is having tumors hepatic lesions in his liver in both lobes big ones small ones doctor said this tumor should have been since years for it to grow this way he is diabetic infected with virus c liver cirrhosis they said no way other than chemical treatment but we are hoping in liver transplant we communicated with many countries soon they should reply whether it s possible for him to make the surgery or no my hope in allah to heal him is very big couple of hours ago he vomited around 2 liters of blood i was alone with him when i saw it i was shocked in our way to the hospital he vomited blood 3 times now he is in the hospital with mum they may stay for two days at least i couldnt stay coz it s not permitted i can t sleep so i decided to sit here write trying to find hope somewhere posted by tota at 1 20 am 5 comments email this blogthis share to x share to facebook share to pinterest thursday february 08 2007 a little surgery al hamd lellah sunday february 4th connoted a day to remember timing 10 30 pm general anesthetic no sense of time passing unconsciousness desire to concentrate to connect plunge into the memories of a missed 30 minutes doer dr khalid saied recommended 7 days to rest condition tired worn out and my brain is a little dead posted by tota at 6 31 pm 12 comments email this blogthis share to x share to facebook share to pinterest tuesday november 28 2006 darting apostrophes sometimes we try to stir up a feeling we wish we had and at other times we try to block or waken a feeling we wish we did not have psyche ourselves up trick our mind into believing something that might not be true avoid staring hard enough so that we may not make out the words or the meanings hiding what we feel faking what we don t like believing in someone who turns out to be a liar but we just refuse the idea that such a person is lying to us or that someone has steered us wrong we make up excuses turn the meanings inside out instead of feeling we were the fools on the side sometimes i believe that life follows our lead it acts the way it s invited to act like a child and at other times i believe that we are only along for the ride we think we are really having a full control over the events in our lives but we are actually not the only thing we have to do is connect to our truth learn our lessons and apply them in our lives we get to a stage that we may lull ourselves we have grown up enough but what we turn out to be doing is that we only deal with losses that come from doing what we know to be right and not necessarily to be what we want growth and death are facts in this life as long as we are going to die we have to grow in this life not only a mental growth but a growth on all the aspects of being and as we grow we have to move on we can t grow and remain the way we are we have to change we usually wait for drama to change our lives to get our attentions we don t try to take the initiative to take the first step before letting this drama taking control over what we do leaving crisis chaos behind what makes us who we are is it our dreams or the worst things that have happened to us traumas and calamities what forces us to change or in other words from where the majorities of the most powerful changes in our lives come is it a result of the happiest things or the worst things have ever happened to us i don t know why but sometimes i find it very stressful going into such maze and i have to put a lot of mental energy into controlling the whole view that would be ok if i didn t also have to use mental energy on a million other things posted by tota at 8 56 pm 12 comments email this blogthis share to x share to facebook share to pinterest saturday november 25 2006 peculiar air of defiance the little creature started to talk i m back cant say with the biggest details or the least of details but i have to say more than too much of events have happened lately the latest of them is the robbery of our villa in the north cost we discovered yesterday i didn t say all events were pleasant 80 are glum what just encouraged me to grab myself and start narrating about it is the one week paid vacation i got from work they are making a big make over to the place during this i took a 7 days vacation i have to say it s the very suitable timing to take this vacation my manager told me no required work u have to perform just take this as a rest that s true i m in a bad need to rest many decisions i have to make i need to order my thoughts to take the right route now one of them is that i want to leave this job yea i mentioned it to him but he just asked me not to rush it actually i have been thinking about it long before but then i just remembered is it my timing every year to switch jobs this is the same exact timing i left my job last year i never regretted that decision at then maybe cause i always throw past things behind my back and never think about them again or don t give myself the chance to do but this one is for totally different reasons yesterday they called telling me that they will raise my salary give me exception to have flexible working hours will take overtime on every hour i stay the 1 hour will be 1 5 leave whenever i need it s still up to me i can try it for another week or month then decide well what a generous offer to me but i m still not satisfied there is something else i lack the spirit the atmosphere a soul matter in the first place to me well am i stupid to think this way but i can t overlook it every time i come to say yes to feel rewarded not consumed is really important but i never make myself a salve to anything even specially money i m a person who follows its spirit whatever thing can raise it is very much welcomed any place or kind of routine that would put it down give it many trials change strategy wait for a reflection then if it failed this routine should be avoided one can t live miserable coz everyone around or the logic which is developed through others experiences say so is not it if someone is breathing transmitting his her very negative energy in the nearby place sure later it will be contagion for the others specially in small environments i always avoid being stuck with negative attitudes conversations or reactions as much as i can put distance and embark on alternatives and backup methods i feel i will not be able to function the way i used to before beside how am i supposed to know that they will meet their promises it happened many times that they violated it for reasons beyond their ability but they couldn t do it i anticipate and have well understanding and comprehension to the conditions and that what they value for me the abode now they are changing it was not only gloomy but dreary somber very stagnant no signs of life filthy in a way that would make me sick that forlorn and overclouded place where i daily spent two thirds of my life it absorbs the vividness it puts me in a woebegone morose mood all day long i used to refer to it as the sepulchral tenebrousness of the catacombs i felt that this atmosphere was very contagion that i now feel myself stagnant boring to death even what i m writing now i will not try to reread it to not cancel it it s a growing company with three owners too i expect it to grow their vision is unique but i have that gut feeling that my time is up there why i just cant withstand any of the situations that used to get on my nerves just get on my nerves i absorb it and silence myself coz i understand it s just a transitory thing later all this will change because it s still a growing company our number didn t exceed 9 members including the 3 owners me now they are going to hire another 10 i cant say how much chaos and problems there and i seem to be their beloved listener just it happens that anyone invade me to talk say whatever he she wants about anyone i listen but never comment filthy environment lies are the hallmark of the most of actions in there why i remained because i expected all this to change also that one of the owners is somehow a friend to me before even starting to work in the place i dunno why everyone there was working on distorting this friend vision to me what is their benefit from that i can t get it i never believe except in what i see my last conversation with him he said if you remained on your decision to leave us i would recommend you to work with a well known company he used to work in too if u still didn t look for another job well does that seem nice to anyone of you my problem is that i m patient i value the circumstances sometimes i feel i m naive if i were to talk from the beginning i think things won t be the way it s now but now all my objections are taken none says i m wrong they obey all what i say when i mention their sins and policy is that because they are obliged to they are having no other choices a 5 months events i can t brief them in one post i wish if i can write all about it but i always forget the details posted by tota at 9 58 pm 4 comments email this blogthis share to x share to facebook share to pinterest older posts home subscribe to posts atom about me tota view my complete profile blog archive 2007 6 november 3 kiwi s success asceticism gratitude april 2 february 1 2006 32 november 2 september 3 june 2 may 4 april 4 march 5 february 7 january 5 2005 45 december 4 november 11 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