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description= Never judge someone until you ve walked a mile in their shoes I wondered if walking a few miles in the shoes of other moms would help me stop judging them...This is where I log those miles;

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Text of the page (random words):
imal but he knew something was just wrong with his perspective of god and how it made him feel afraid he studied scripture he prayed he asked god to remove the fear he didn t that man got cancer the little boy part of him believed he deserved it the man of faith part of him didn t believe that s how god works the man knew about redemption the man knew jesus paid the ultimate price on the cross for every sin past present and future but the boy stayed afraid the man battled his fear and his cancer one very long night the fear died the man became free the boy stopped fearing his begging for jesus to forgive him over and over stopped he started to talk about going to see jesus he asked how long it would take the man boy who d been so afraid of dying his whole life because he was afraid he d arrive in hell asked if there was a plug to pull because he was ready and he was no longer afraid fear died just a few hours before my husband did yup he s that boy that wonderfully perfect imperfect sinner saved by grace for those few hours i got to meet him without his constant companion fear it s the most incredible and holy thing i ve ever experienced fear for some of us it s a daily battle maybe fear of the future hello i m there maybe it s fear of death loss sin letting go trusting maybe it s hell god or yourself or being good enough smart enough or doggone it if people like you some one will get that you re welcome maybe it s people failure sickness all the things what if we stopped feeding the fear my hubby fed it daily and that s part of what kept it alive until he stopped and he finally trusted that god is who he says he is and does what he say he will what if we re a little like that boy so afraid that we re tying ourselves to someone else so we can get into heaven on some train wreck i honestly have no idea how my favorite human was finally able to let it go to trust that man was saved his whole life he just couldn t quite believe it until he did and it was the most beautiful moment of his entire life and quite possibly mine tonight where ever you are i hope you find peace i hope that whatever you re fearing you finally are able to let it go to trust in god that he is who he says he is he does what he says he does you don t need the fear neither did that boy nor do i dear jesus i thank you again for what you did that long night november 1 2019 in which i m licensed to drive but not equipped for where i am posted by traceysolomon under uncategorized leave a comment i love to travel to me travel is an opportunity to meet people experience new places cultures foods climates and experiences aside from the hassle of it i truly adore it but every time i travel i run into this weird thing i get a rental car and because i m licensed to drive they just give me the keys and i drive off except this one time when i only brought a debit card and they oils to give me my rental that was a bad travel day thank you jesus for uber anyway they give me keys because mathews state i m traveling in accepts my license as evidence that i know what i m doing except there are differences the signs are different here lights have different usages people in colorado you often drive across traffic to get on a freeway we just plain don t do that hardly ever in michigan there are toll roads we don t have those either so while i m technically licensed to drive sometimes i have no idea what i m doing i screw up last night i stopped in a panic because my understanding of how traffic lights work was wrong here where i am now it would make a lot more sense if part of your rental was a 10 minutes here are the rules here boot camp seriously the world should implement this this isn t my first rodeo here go me for an appropriate western dialect analogy so every trip i get better i m learning the rules and becoming more comfortable each trip i m figuring it out as i go sometimes that s what we do driving while traveling isn t the only time i experience this it happens in so many areas of my life as a mom i ll be honest i m driving in new territory i may be theoretically licensed even experienced but in this place i m struggling to read the signs and keep us all safe hmmm mostly from myself how do you parent adult children is that even the right question to ask how do i single parent a teen boy in my faith i m driving a new road too don t panic my faith hasn t changed but the driving terrain our christian microculture different i m single i m a christian i love people all of them the world is divided and i m passionately called to be a minister of reconciliation one to another and each one to god i m not a pastor i am a leader and i m me in my life i m preparing to enter the workplace formally for the first time in decades newsflash new place new rules it s complicated i m trying to learn to read the signs and figure out the traffic lights here where i am now to there where ever god is taking me aren t we all here s the thing i could just get a driver uber works i could quit stay home where it s safe i know the rules this week when i got to denver there was a snow storm i upgraded my rental to a 4 4 because it s hard enough not to get killed here due to driver error on a good day it was what i needed one of the things i love about jesus is this yup he takes us off road once in a while he doesn t always tell us all the things we d like to know in order to drive it well he s patient as we figure it out and he upgrades us to a 4 4 of love and grace he gives us what we need when we need it even when the road is bumpy and snow covered all those new unknown places i m driving in my life he knows he s given me enough to drive here i m licensed i knew w just barely enough to start the adventure to drive and figure out the nuance of these new rules as i go i ll be honest it would feel a lot more comfortable if he d do this a different way like tell me all the things warnings meanings actually a gps with turn by turn instruction would be nice but i m called to something more than safety and comfort i m called to followjesus where ever he leads and not having all those little details the nuance it makes me ask for help when i m driving here in denver and in my life i lean into the wisdom of people who know i lean into jesus i pray i seek i ask i even sometimes listen maybe that s exactly why it works like this to keep us connected to him and each other maybe you ve arrived at a place where your feeling under equipped like things are foreign the rules have changed because you re in a new place i get it me too lean in dear jesus i need you more now than ever lead guide direct equip me for this off road adventure that is my life and lord don t let me go off the rails i trust you with all of this amen may 4 2019 even here when your breakthrough leaves you broken posted by traceysolomon under uncategorized leave a comment confession i m not going to see the movie breakthrough it is not because i don t believe with the premise i m not going because i ve lived that scene i begged for a breakthrough not of the icy kind but the better one that happens in the movie life from death i sat with my head on my husband s and without doubt of gods ability to do so i asked god to spare his life i asked him raise him from the dead and heal him he did not i tell myself he did heal him he is walking with jesus in heaven happier healthier and more whole than he ever was on earth and i believe it but that s not what i asked for i didn t ask for a spiritual healing i didn t ask for eternity i asked for my best friend i asked for my sons to have their dad i asked for a miracle god said no i have no idea why i know all the right things to say and believe that god has a plan that god knows what s best that god s promise of eternal life is so much greater than what we experience on this earth i know that an end to suffering is a gift i believe all of those things yet the brutal reality is god said no i don t know why i do not know why one woman s prayers result in a breakthrough and another woman s prayers result in brokenness i do not know why sometimes god answers with no i do know this even though i rejoice for others when their prayers are answered with the results they beg for i also feel a pang of sadness for myself by pang i mean a chefs knife like stab to the heart that kind of pang i feel it when others ring that treatment is over bell at the cancer center i feel it when i see that someone reach that coveted 5 year cancer free mark i feel it when people praise god for good reports after a scare thank you jesus it s not cancer i rejoice for them and i weep for me i m a fairly selfish person like that so much of christianity says and implies that to feel disappointed and angry with god is sin that to rejoice with others with a pang of sadness for ourselves is wrong i disagree i think it s human here s the thing you can t think your way out of loss or grief i m still disappointed angry hurting sad and yes i sometimes feel jealous of others breakthroughs we don t make movies about that we make movies and tell stories with happy endings the widow or widower who finds new hope and love after loss is a hallmark movie staple the amazing career you never expected to be part of your life after losing a job you thought you loved gold the lottery win or deal made that saves the house from foreclosure just in the nick of time bestseller the superhero rescue the reconciled and better than ever marriage a tv show ready to air the learning to walk again after a stroke inspirational we tell the stories of someone leaving a slum to rise to fame and we thank god because we love happy endings and we think god wins when they happen they give us hope but what about those not so happy endings the deaths miscarriages infertility divorce chronic illness pain suffering starvation those who die a martyrs death persecution is god in those stories i think yes i don t think i m alone in this i think i m honest about it the conflicted feelings rejoicing through tears feels a lot like losing your mind december 22 2016 dear mom still waiting in line to see santa posted by traceysolomon under uncategorized leave a comment i know it s on the list the list of things that must be done between laundry loads diaper changers and toddler tantrums i know you picked just the right outfits i know you are armed with enough toys snacks and wipes to save a village of wolf raised children from starvation death by boredom and smothering in the mysterious substance all young children produce with their fingers at my house we call it mystery goo the gunk left behind on every surface by children under 10 i believe it s produced in glands that disappear right around puberty when the other glands kick into overdrive i know you re watching the clock and praying santa doesn t need another break while you stand in the line of mom torture i know your hands are sweaty because the signs say no photography but your pictures are always better than the ones the 14 year old behind santa cam takes and your camera is both charged and has a memory card in it i probably know this because i ve been sipping a late with my feet up for an hour watching you check the battery and sd card between swiping mystery goo the inevitable christmas snot fest and promising everything from mcdonalds to ponies based on your escalating desperation for a good picture with santa i know you re conflicted about taking the pics i also know how much the santa cam charges it s insane i ve been there 3 children s worth i also know late sippers who watch the santa line are 1 of 3 things creepy judgey or weepy i fit the latter category i promise and i ve got your back against the others you don t know this but i m cheering you on and praying that between boogers and poops and bribes you find a moment or two to savor all that isn t torture about this time the look of wonder at an indoor scene that looks like a broadway production sheesh i grew up with just santa on a fake throne there were no animated creatures or movie themes to help distract us which is probably why our parents all drank and smoked i hope you see the joy in your child s eyes every time they move a step closer to santa i hope you see the moms and dads around you they re all with you in this they re also just as stressed and rushed as you are yup even that perfect chick who s outfit matches who s hair is styled and who s make up is perfect with the kid reading a book in his britax stroller you re in this together run out of wipes or goldfish crackers they re there for you i also hope you know this eventually this line will end you ll get your overpriced but precious pictures you will survive and the kids will pass out in their car seats due to a goldfish coma on the way home that little bit of spit up or pee left behind on santa no worries there s a tide pen hidden in his beard and the red velvet is actually teflon santa knows more than just who s been bad or good he s got mrs claus packing his bag for goodness sake finally i hope you know that not only will the line end but someday much sooner than you think and you won t know until it s past your days in the santa line will end too maybe you ll get a year of pseudo protest as a warning mom i don t want to wait for santa the line is too long i ll email him and then it s over pictures with santa become sweet memories it s a little like labor and child birth somehow we forget the pain eventually they go to the mall on their own to shop for you or cvs for last minute gift cards whatever older kids are like that then you ll join me the judgers who want to feel better about themselves by judging you re parenting in the santa line up which if you ask me is a little like judging someone s parenting in a war zone some circumstances are simply about survival duh and the creepy ones you ll stand guard against creeps with a late in hand and tears in your eyes not because you didn t know this season of life would pass so fast it does it will so dear mom in the santa line if you re desperately seeking refuge in the distraction of the internets you re safe here i know it s stressful i know it s torture and i know it s precious i m with you all of us moms who ve been there are and we just want you to savor it like that one hot cup of coffee you last had 2 years ago it was probably between poopy diaper changes and tantrums and laundry loads as well which is when the very sweetest parts of mom life always happen you are loved you got this carry on ps while the kids sleep in the car on the way home hit the drive through for a hot coffee and drive around looking at lights you ve earned it ps always buy the cheapest photo package and ask to take your own pics puhleeze santa isn t a jerk just you know don t bring your own makeup crew and backdrop there are other moms behind you trying to survive the line merry christmas from one mom to another oh and to the mom who doesn t do santa we re ...