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2 infertiles journey to 2 pink lines and a baby girl skip to main skip to sidebar 14 june 2010 the good the bad the ugly the good all moles and masses are benign must see the dermatologist every 6 months due to atypical results must have mammogram every 6 months due to calcifications that need to be monitored good grief the bad tumor and tissue in right boob must come out it s rare fast growing and could become malignant if left alone i ll have surgery next month the radiologist explained to me that a biopsy alone cannot reveal everything and they are not always correct good grief the ugly my boob still all yellow and bruised and i had yet another growth removed on the right side after seeing the dermatologist for a follow up she wanted more testing done after hearing about the biopsy i ve been poked and prodded far too many times for my liking i hate surgery and i hate packing to move for the 6th time aside from beautiful ginny life is pretty ugly right now posted by tryingin2007 at 8 15 am 2 comments 02 june 2010 tick tock now we sit and wait a little more it s going to sound like a cavity being filled hold still now it s going to feel like a staple gun don t move all the bizarre sounds and sensations of a biopsy after carefully studying last weeks films dr b concluded that the lump mass on my left side is just a cyst hurray but he also saw something new on my right side crap so we re still at testing 2 tissue samples no fun each site required a different testing method one mass is more questionable than the other so extra tissue was needed after all the stapling and drilling i have 2 clips markers that will forever be a part of me don t worry you won t be setting off any alarms or anything dr b tells me that crazy thought never even entered my tired little head geez after 90 minutes of needles and more friggin mammograms b and i grabbed a quick breakfast and went home and napped he was coming off the night shift i woke up to a throbbing black and blue boob the numbing agent had clearly worn off so now we carry on like life is normal and hope for the best lulu still needs to be walked 3 times a day and clients still have deadlines to meet at this point there s no time or reason to miss a beat gulp and mole results come back next thursday posted by tryingin2007 at 9 39 am 6 comments 29 may 2010 untitled it s pretty remarkable how your life can change so dramatically in a split second i remember hearing my first and only positive beta and in that instant everything became completely different at 2 10 pm you re not pregnant and then at 2 11 pm you hear from the ivf nurse viola your life will never be the same god i remember that moment like it was yesterday how it is possible ginny will be 2 years old in a few short months geez well i m having another one of those moments kind of sort of what was initially a routine mammogram had turned into additional mammograms and 2 u s talk about your life changing in an instant i ve spent 2 afternoons now being repeatedly poked and prodded scanned and rescanned you realize something just isn t quite right when you see women coming and going and the nurse keeps telling you please go sit and wait and keep your gown on this can t be good so after 2 hours at my second visit i was finally able to speak with the doctor he showed me some images that he wasn t happy with i have 2 masses one in each boob the right one being more worrisome plus both sides have lots of pesky calcifications that will require a mammogram every 6 months for the rest of my life oh joy the radiologist explained they could be nothing or something he actually had a lot to say but i clearly didn t understand the english language at that point it s very difficult to retain any information right after having 2 suspicious moles cut from your leg yes i had 2 doctors appointments in 1 day stupid planning on my part but that s what you do when you have a toddler so next week i have the dreaded biopsy scheduled typically i would not think much of this procedure but things are very different now my concern my fear is not even about me it s all about ginny i can t even explain exactly what that means i have a lot of illness in my family so i go from feeling very confident to completely terrified at the drop of a hat the uncertainty of both tests is very unsettling the most bizarre and surreal 2ww ever i am no doubt the only infertile out there begging and hoping for a bfn posted by tryingin2007 at 9 55 am 8 comments 19 may 2010 yep our journey continues and it s a whole new adventure in building our family posted by tryingin2007 at 12 36 pm 5 comments 30 march 2010 old friends it s so strange the infertile world i have met soooo many amazing strong and lovely women through my if journey i look back during my 4 cycles and i recall dozens of positive and supportive relationships some irl and many through blogs and message boards i felt very close to those i cycled with we cheered each other on we grieved together we celebrated together i go back now and again to check in on my peeps and sadly many of them have moved on and abandoned their blogs but some are pregnant again doing fet or adopting and a few actually have 2 children imagine that from lack of posts it s obvious keeping up with my blog has been put on the back burner these days toddlers require a lot more attention so when i m not working my time is all about ginny it s difficult to update as much as i would like to i m feeling sad though when i click on a link of a past cycle buddy and the blog is no longer it hurts a little you go from knowing very intimate details about a fellow ivfers and then she s gone just as the ivf experience is a huge part of who i am my fellow infertiles are important to me too so ladies if you re out there know that there is a special place in my heart for you guys and for those still in the middle of ttc although from afar i m still cheering you on with all my might you are all indeed an important part of a excruciating yet wonderful chapter in my life posted by tryingin2007 at 8 01 am 4 comments 27 february 2010 hard stuff this parenting business some days i have to admit i don t think i m cut for this meaning i m forever clueless and occasionally feel out of control i can t imagine how my mom did it with 4 kids four in ginny s first 18 months i believe i ve aged a good many years i m looking and feeling a decade older since last wednesday a typical and simple morning breakfast turned into complete chaos and panic ginny was wearing some crapass pjs a gift from sil i should have known better and the feet were twice the proper size while running across the floor with 2 toys in her hands she took a pretty big fall she tripped on the pjs and landed flat on her face there were some tears but after a few boo boo kisses and hugs all was well again until we started to play with the ball she giggled in pure delight then the horror i immediately felt faint i wanted to vomit i started to cry ginny s smile revealed 2 broken not chipped teeth i thought i was dreaming this couldn t be real her two front teeth perfect and pearly white were no longer as i remember them her sweet sweet smile forever changed after a few nasty messages to the pedi s useless nursing line they never call back we raced off to the pedi dentist as an emergency i hadn t even brushed my own teeth yet that s a pretty bad break nice dentist tells me blah blah blah blah blah blah that s all i remember later on b spoke with nice dentist to get more specific details because the nerves are so close to being exposed we will have the teeth rebuilt in 2 weeks the bonding will protect what she has left fortunately the x ray showed no visible damage to the adult teeth thank god poor poor ginny and poor mama this parenting business hard stuff posted by tryingin2007 at 9 57 am 7 comments 04 february 2010 oy deep breath lots and lots and lots going on i have been sick as a dog i went to the ob gyn this week to talk about my ahem prolapse issue bladder not uterine and she said oh honey you reeeeeally need to be on an antibiotic this was music to my ears all i have been hearing from b is ride it out 2 weeks of raging coughing fits 24 hours a day with a possible cracked rib i m so done riding it out this trip is over even after just a couple of pills i m feeling remarkably better but of course i had to pass my germs on to ginny usually it s the other way around ginny gets a head cold and i get slammed with potential pneumonia or ginny pukes twice and i am bedridden for a week with extreme vomiting and diarrhea ahhh the joys of parenting parenting when you are completely and totally and utterly run down so i have been going through all the motions of life like everything is normal fine and groovy i have 2 major jobs happening simultaneously not easy while doing all that is house dog still peeing inside and child b is working hard and when he is home he s looking hard for a job in other words he s not available and now i have the added bonus of a case of man flu yesterday he woke up with a slight cough he called in sick and spent the entire day in bed ummmmm what s wrong with this picture oy posted by tryingin2007 at 11 16 am 3 comments older posts home subscribe to posts atom an open and honest struggle with infertility x2 and ivf x4 with icsi plus random thoughts on dogs cancer ppd cloth diapers plagiocephaly having a bi racial child being an older mom life back in fab new york city and learning how to be positive virginia our 7 lb 4 oz miracle born 27aug08 our bfp the secret recipe lulu chilli 1998 1 nov 2007 in a nutshell we are infertility poster children my dx ama with high fsh dor and no fallopian tubes poor responder to stims b s dx low count and low motility very challenged swimmers tubal surgery and 4 attempts at ivf all in 1 year a loved one is not gone until they are forgotten and to live in the hearts of those left behind is to live forever ring the bells that still can ring forget your perfect offering there is a crack in everything that s how the light gets in leonard cohen the problem with infertility is that i am mourning children that do not exist and i m the only one who misses them my peeps baby in the making birch and maple cyclesista i am not in control i ve got bad plumbing ivf 40 last chance ivf one more week planet davila someone please knock me up square peg round whole stirrup queens and sperm palace jestures this is not what i ordered expecting lil peeps busted babymaker desperate to multiply infertility my personal hell on earth maybe baby our little bonbon the joy of ivf the maniacal mommy with lil peeps in tow a journey of endo and fertility one out of six waiting for the wee ones hillary s hope less than 1 becoming mom quest for a baby fertilized fertile hope baby twiglet snickollet mourning and mothering mommy wants vodka one more baby blog ivf history ivf 1 cancelled at er too few follies ivf 2 2 embies transfered bfn ivf 3 cancelled at er too few follies ivf 4 3 embies transfered bfp 21 dec 07 email me pfwnyc gmail com baby stuff green baby bargains etsy baby cheapskate celebrity baby blog baby steals baby bargains blog get a button other assorted links pet loss support trying to conceive lingo knitty com ivf for dummies all sorts of fertility fun facts adopt a whale icsi ivf hints infertility blog my virtual personal assistant and cyber support previous posts 2010 10 june 2 the good the bad the ugly tick tock may 2 march 1 february 2 january 3 2009 67 december 2 november 1 october 3 september 5 august 7 july 4 june 4 may 7 april 12 march 8 february 6 january 8 2008 105 december 8 november 5 october 6 september 7 august 13 july 8 june 5 may 12 april 11 march 11 february 10 january 9 2007 152 december 10 november 12 october 7 september 8 august 13 july 10 june 14 may 12 april 11 march 26 february 26 january 3