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twd twd thursday september 1 2011 exhale well i have been thinking that i should update this blog for about a month now radiation is finished so happy to have that done the last month has been sort of just hangin on i have tried to get back to normal but i have discovered that normal is long gone yesterday was a pretty emotional day for me the only way i could think to describe it was to exhale i feel like i have been holding my breath just hoping i could make it through all of the hard stuff and still somewhat take care of my family the beginning of school meant a chance to get on with the business of life i think we are all really ready for that i am hoping the fact that the kids started school yesterday and we will now have routine in our life again will help they were all pretty much begging to get back to school this summer really hasn t been any fun for any of us sigh megan and ariana seem to like their teachers and love wearing new school clothes liam likes middle school so far he has some classes with friends and loves the expanded choices at lunch kate is happy to be back with friends and busy she even said she was bored with reading so much and ready for school again lydia is off and running with marching band and will soon begin teaching several beginning piano students yeah all of the years of lessons are paying off she is excited to do it and also excited about the spending money she will have she also wants to save up to go to efy again next summer because she had so much fun there this year there is a bonus this school year she is driving so mom doesn t have to be the taxi quite so often today i visited my radiation oncologist for a follow up visit i was surprised at the visceral reaction i had to not wanting to be in that building i found myself sitting as close to the exit as possible while waiting to be called back into a room strange because i used to go there every single day for treatment mostly this visit was just to make sure that all of the skin problems from the radiation have resolved and they have so that is good i still have some swollen muscles that make reaching and twisting painful sometimes the good news is that he said that should resolve in a month or so as the swelling dissipates the continued mystery seems to be navigating all of the side effects of the medication that i will take for the next five years basically it shuts down the reception of the hormones in my body some folks describe it as chemically induced menopause the most common side effects are hot flashes night sweats and weight gain i haven t had much trouble with the hot flashes thing but the weight gain is terrible the only way i could think of to describe it is feeling puffy not only have i gained weight and lost what little waist i was holding on to my feet and sometimes my hands just feel puffy reminds me of the last trimester in pregnancy unfortunately this won t be over in a few months and i don t get a sweet little bundle of joy to make it all worth it i have also experienced some nausea and today my blood pressure was really low maybe that is why i haven t really been a bundle of energy lately i am trying to remind myself that i don t have to have all of the spring cleaning that didn t get done finished the first three days the kids are in school maybe spring cleaning will get done by christmas maybe not so on to new chapters spring and summer flowers never did get planted at our house this year but i do think i will make it a point to go get some mums this weekend i love the fall time to embrace that and just let go of what is done thanks everyone for your love and support during this crazy ride called cancer tondalea posted by tondalea glenn at 11 46 am no comments email this blogthis share to x share to facebook share to pinterest sunday july 24 2011 one more week actually i should write it onemoreweek well i am sitting here trying to pull myself together to make it onemoreweek with radiation the reason it is one word is that when i am feeling overwhelmed tired hurting etc i just mumble it to myself it rolls off the tongue through gritted teeth with a sigh i can do anything for one more week to be honest i think i have been white knuckling it since they said the word biopsy four long months ago i am a little bit terrified that when that last radiation appointment is done i am going to melt into a little puddle and be a worthless mess i was thinking that i need to come up with some sort of celebration so i have a reason to not fall apart suggestions really things aren t all that bad slug life just doesn t suit me that well i really like to be doing things i like to have a clean house clean laundry and bills that are paid on time and even though i really don t like cooking at all there is a level of satisfaction that comes with actually having the energy to prepare serve and clean up after a meal one that doesn t include frozen waffles or paper plates someday i will get back there today i am just grateful for frozen waffles and paper plates it sounds like friends from church will be bringing some meals and inviting my kids for play dates this week thank you all in advance it makes me think i will actually make it through this so here we go onemoreweek posted by tondalea glenn at 7 51 pm 3 comments email this blogthis share to x share to facebook share to pinterest tuesday july 12 2011 checkin in with the oncologists plural yes plural yesterday i went to see both of my oncologists i still can t believe i have one oncologist the thought of two just astounds me anyway i met with the medical oncologist his job is to manage the cancer he is in charge of meds overall plan etc he ordered another set of liver tests to see how my liver is handling the tamoxifen the good news is that all of the counts were normal he looked me straight in the eye and told me that was terrific news and that he had to be honest the last counts that he saw really really scared him i guess people don t live very long high quality lives with the counts i had last time his best guess is that i was still trying to process the anesthesia out of my system from the surgery the good news is that my body seems to be handling this medication just fine i don t have to see him for another 6 months i also saw my radiation oncologist busy day i see him once each week during radiation i just started the 5th week he was just advising me how to best deal with the side effects of the radiation there really isn t anything that can be done to make things better in fact he expects them to just get worse over the next few weeks he just helps make sure the skin isn t infected etc i still have three weeks of slug life left i don t know how much time will be needed after the radiation to bounce back to myself it takes some people up to 6 months i of course plan to be an over achiever and not take nearly that long the good news is that in august i will be done with breaking things and i can concentrate on trying to just improve thanks to everyone who has offered their help i think the weeks of the 18th and 25th will be when we need to cash in on the offers for dinners my energy is so limited these days i used to be able to take a nap after radiation and have enough energy for making dinner now that doesn t seem to be working any more i decided to postpone megan and ariana s birthday parties with friends to august hopefully when i don t have to do radiation everyday i will be able to cope with some of the extras thanks for the offers to help i will be contacting you in august if you don t mind i just want to say that even though this is one of the hardest parts i am still extremely grateful for the fact that everything has gone so well so far i feel blessed by all of the support and love extended to me and my family and thank you all for it tondalea posted by tondalea glenn at 12 28 pm 2 comments email this blogthis share to x share to facebook share to pinterest thursday june 30 2011 oh that s what you mean by exhaustion well it has been a while since updating the status here on the blog things have been moving along pretty well we were all thrilled that the genetic testing came back negative and happy to have things be normal my energy level has been pretty good and i have been able to keep up with life pretty well i go to have radiation everyday the people are really nice but it is a depressing sort of place to be especially when people are returning because of a recurrance i try not to dwell on that too much and just assume that this will be my one ride on the cancer roller coaster well everything was going really well the nurses and doctor all told me when i started this process that week three is where things really hit as far as the exhaustion and side effects are concerned wow they know their stuff i feel like i have been hit by a big truck before i was tired now i know what they really mean by exhaustion it is almost like every muscle in my body is completely used up it takes great effort just to keep my eyes open yesterday i was only awake about 7 hours total during the day i guess now is the time to re assess and start accepting the help that has been offered all along glenn and i talked last night about this really things have been going so well a couple months of being tired and not being able to do everything i want to isn t the end of the world we are just going to have to prioritize and maybe lower our standards a bit so just a fair warning it looks like i am going to be a slug for at least the next month anyone out their just love to plan birthday parties the things we worry about most as moms it isn t all of the major responsibilities that a mother takes care of that bug me it is that i have two really darling little girls that have waited all year for their day and i don t seem to have the energy to make it magical for them we will make do i am sure thanks to all of you for your love and support along the way tondalea posted by tondalea glenn at 10 07 am 6 comments email this blogthis share to x share to facebook share to pinterest tuesday june 7 2011 big sigh of relief okay today was finally the day to get the genetic mutation test results back i tested negative for the brca1 and brca2 gene mutation there is still another test that we could do but we are debating this because it is expensive 800 and it only finds about 1 of people that test negative and then changes that status to positive this means we don t have to decide about the double mastectomy and hysterectomy yeah tomorrow is the beginning of radiation 6 7 weeks the two biggest side effects are a nasty sunburn on the affected area and exhaustion i have no delusions that it is going to be a walk in the park but i am so glad not to be facing multiple surgeries and recovery from all of them now to get my head back on straight and get organized i can t believe how stressful this was to be waiting for potentially generations of bad news not just for me i feel like i can walk taller and straighter now the real task ahead is to figure out how are we going to manage glenn s first summer working from home me doing radiation being tired and the kids home all day every day hmmm maybe i could rent a cruise director or something to keep the kids busy it is nice to know that lydia can drive herself to most of the stuff she has going on and maybe even help deliver the younger kids to camp etc thanks for your prayers and good thoughts everyone tondalea posted by tondalea glenn at 4 21 pm 2 comments email this blogthis share to x share to facebook share to pinterest thursday may 19 2011 genetics and a bump in the road hi everyone the sun has come out so everyone seems to be happy around here i have been able to do some interpreting and generally keep up with life the last week or so that feels really good we met with the genetic counselor on tuesday we opted to get the genetic test even though it costs an arm leg and another leg this will tell if i carry the mutation that in the words of my surgeon lets us know that your breasts are cancer making machines the repercussions of this are that we would need to scrap the radiation plan and do a double mastectomy and remove ovaries tubes etc that seems like a whole lot of surgery that i would rather avoid so fingers are crossed that this comes back negative everything has gone as smoothly as we could hope for to this point but everyone has warned us about bumps in the road i think we hit one when i met with the medical oncologist he prescribed tamoxifen standard procedure for pre menopausal women with breast cancer this medicine can be hard on the liver so he begins every treatment with a baseline liver function test i am pretty familiar with this process because i had several of them last year when taking a different medication friday after arriving home from all of the appointments and getting the prescription dropped off at the pharmacy i received a call from his nurse telling me to wait to take the tamoxifen until i meet with my gp because of elevated liver counts i saw her today one of the numbers was slightly low two were slightly high and another was 100x the normal amount there are an assortment of reasons this could be happening many of them very unlikely given my current lifestyle lack of symptoms we repeated the test today to see if there are similar numbers i also go for an abdominal ultrasound tomorrow life wasn t interesting enough we have to add another wrinkle i often say that i don t mind life being boring because that means there aren t any major problems it looks like it will be a while until life is boring for us again sigh tondalea posted by tondalea glenn at 3 06 pm 4 comments email this blogthis share to x share to facebook share to pinterest friday may 13 2011 oncology day sigh of relief today was the big oncology appointments first with the medical oncologist he had good news to share the oncotype score test came back low for need to have chemotherapy the plan is drug therapy and radiation we still have one more hurdle to overcome the breast cancer gene test we meet with the gene therapist on tuesday that test will probably take three weeks to get the results radiation is scheduled to begin june 8th every day for 6 7 weeks we are delaying until we know about the bc gene results if they are positive for the mutation we go back to surgical solutions so here s to hoping the good luck continues posted by tondalea glenn at 9 05 pm 3 comments email this blogthis share to x share to facebook share to pinterest older posts home subscribe to posts atom followers blog archive 2011 15 september 1 exhale july 2 june 2 may 3 april 7 ethereal theme powered by blogger