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Text of the page (random words):
he asked me to and there s no reason why i can t but oh i hate it it is always an incredibly annoying experience there is nothing pleasurable about the school s car rider line except for the conversations with bear once he gets in the car i am reminded of a time when i had no idea how frustrating it could be to pick up a child from school before i knew that there are certain parents who feel entitled how there are some rules that are obviously meant to be broken even though 90 of us follow them the time i refer to of course is when i was the child waiting to be picked up for my junior year we lived in massachusetts by nature i am a socializer i enjoy talking with my friends so my mom would sit there and wait one day she told me that if i made her wait one more time she was going to drive off i laughed the next day i stood and talked with my friends for a few minutes as i was talking i saw my mom drive away yep she left me i had to walk home i was not amused my brother was i never kept my mom waiting again sadly there isn t a fix for my current situation it s not bear s fault other than the fact that he s adamant in his desire to not ride the bus i can t help but to think that karma is biting me in the butt that s what i m talking about on 1 11 2010 6 talked too here i sit here i sit listening to the quiet tonight is big d s first night back at his old job with him gone the tv can be off while homework is being worked on and or book are being read silence is a heavenly thing no what has been going on with us you might be wondering bear s science fair project folks this isn t our science fair experiments of years past anymore i despise them lamb got a part in the uil competition one act play she finds out tomorrow what part she got she s terribly excited and we are terribly proud big d switched over to his old job as i mentioned we found out the grass isn t always greener i am finally hip with technology and received an ipod touch for christmas from big d and my mom i ve been spending a lot of time importing my library of songs into itunes dang is there not an easier way to sync ah well it s done and spending a lot of time adding my photos to flickr why i have no idea i sometimes get strange obsessions big d i are now embarking on our 21st year of marriage that is so crazy to me so crazy our 20th anniversary wasn t exactly spent how i wanted it to be but it was a nice time so that s what s been up with me and mine sort of in a nutshell now that that s out of the way i have a quick question are ya ll going to say twenty ten or two thousand ten the reason i m asking is because this year i am working with a 2nd grader and 3rd grader brothers sadly enough who have no concept of the calendar every day it s almost like starting over right when we get the year 2009 down it changes i don t want to confuse them further so i wondered how the majority will say the year peace and love shucks the silence didn t last long bear just turned on the tv that s what i m talking about on 1 04 2010 5 talked too 20 years twenty years ago today i was 19 engaged and living with big d we were ten days away from our wedding twenty years and two months ago we had not even started planning our wedding i had finally had enough of my dad s wife and her shenanigans i was tired of my dad trying to keep peace i was tired big d was tired of me being upset so for the hundredth time he suggested i just move out and i could stay with him that day i took him up on his offer i don t regret that decision however i regret rushing i abruptly decided that we should be married in november luckily my best friend talked me out of that but she only bought a month i then decided that we should be married new year s day the preacher couldn t do it that day so new year s eve became the date i was the least interested bride there has ever been i think i bought my dress out of the jcpenney s catalog i tried it on once at home and determined it fit i then never tried it on again until the wedding day music i have to pick out music whatever the pianist wants to play the flowers oh the flowers i was home for thanksgiving and went flower shopping with my mom grandmother i think they were both pretty fed up with me we walked into the shop and i noticed these dried roses for some reason they spoke to me so i decided that those are what i wanted yes my friends i carried dead roses down the aisle my maid of honor carried dead roses and the groom best man had dead roses for their boutonnieres i laugh at myself now but at the time i thought that was pretty cool i m surprised my mom grandmother didn t say anything maybe they were happy i made a decision or that i wasn t being expensive who knows the only thing i knew i wanted was a photographer of course we couldn t afford that my mom s cousin took the pics and he did a good job my favorite co worker made my wedding cake and hat nineteen years eleven months and twenty one days ago somehow it all came together without any help from me my dress was a tad big we didn t know how to secure my hat to my hair i was married by the man who also baptized me in the church i grew up in it was three hours away from where i currently lived so mainly the only guests were my grandparents friends i had some family in attendance big d had none we didn t care oh and how did the cinderella fairy tale end well when my dad returned home from the wedding his wife had moved out he is much happier now has a wonderful wife of 13 years big d i haven t always lived happily ever after but i can t imagine living this life without him it s been the ride of our lives that s what i m talking about on 12 21 2009 6 talked too saturday towels big d and i received towels as a wedding gift and never bought another one until about a year ago and then we only bought a couple we really need some new towels so this year as we were shopping on black friday we bought some more but here s the deal i want some that i can wrap around my wet hair why do they not make that size anymore it stinks i have to wrap a huge towel around my head oh well i guess it prepares me for that huge heavy headdress when i m a vegas showgirl that s what i m talking about on 11 28 2009 4 talked too tuesday thanksgiving tradition i have noticed over the past ten years or so that i have started a tradition it s one that bear doesn t really care for that s about the time when i started cooking thanksgiving dinner myself i don t like to cook and that requires a whole lot of cooking so the few days before the holiday i cook a meal that can be left overed lovely word i just made up until thanksgiving less cooking for me and it makes the meal that much more yummy when we eat it bear hates it because it usually involves spaghetti or chili two meals that he can not stand strange boy some may argue that he has a strange mama too that s what i m talking about on 11 24 2009 3 talked too wednesday coming soon you ll be hearing a lot more from me big d will be going back to nights in the next couple of weeks that ll leave me a lot of time during the evenings to visit and post aren t ya ll lucky that s what i m talking about on 11 18 2009 4 talked too my star my goodness i ve been quiet i need to do better about that part of the reason has been spent being a chauffeur for my rising star lamb performed in her first high school stage production she even had her very own personal make up artist my brother s girlfriend knows all about make up and skin care so she lent her services to lamb lamb loved it she was in the miracle worker as a blind girl at annie sullivan s school she also played the part of annie sullivan s brother s voice in annie s dream sequences i ll be honest they were weird and if not for lamb i could have done without those scenes strange strange odd the entire cast did an amazing job they literally moved me to tears when helen finally made the connection i just cried there is a big difference between helen and the students i work with however all of us try so hard to make them see connections to what we are trying to teach them some of them never get it but some of them do and it s such a gift to see their faces light up and to see them feel smart i know a small part of how ann sullivan felt and lamb s bff came to see her i think lamb was happier about that than having her family come watch unfortunately my camera was acting up so my shots aren t clear i think the joy is pretty evident blurry or not the only mar on the evening was the playbill lamb s name was spelled incorrectly all over the place including in the ads that my mom and i paid for i understand that with common names there are some who do not pay attention to spellings but when you are dealing with someone s money pay attention to the details double check your spellings all in all i just can not wait to see lamb on stage again i love it so much next up seeing her bff in her stage production of metamorphoses this coming weekend it s going to be good that s what i m talking about on 11 11 2009 4 talked too sunday disco fever bear went to his very first official school dance he just went he had no idea which of his friend would be there he just wanted to hang out mingle and dance baby the boy loves to dance and to pose so he wanted to let ya ll in on some of his moves the ever popular sprinkler a new fad called the jerk takes skill and concentration to skip backwards the silly stanky leg he wanted to do the michael jackson crotch grab but changed his mind when i told him it d cost him 50 some things just aren t worth the money that s what i m talking about on 10 25 2009 6 talked too monday let s talk about boys no not this boy or this one and not this fine lad i want to talk about this boy and maybe your boy too i am in the midst of finding a new doctor for bear i will never again take him to the one he s had since we ve moved here we all talk about girls self esteem but i think at times we forget that boys are just as prone to self doubt as girls i am going through that right now back to the pediatrician she messed with my mind when bear was a baby we moved here we had to leave our beloved pediatrician behind try as i might he just wouldn t move with us not knowing anyone it was luck of the draw on our first visit she mentioned that bear did not get his height gene from his dad and she would mention that several times throughout the years i come from brothers who are well over 6 feet tall big d is 6 1 i just assumed bear would be over six feet as soon as those words came out of her mouth i started obsessing i would compare bear to other children i would constantly check his height against that archaic curve chart i lost sight of the fact that he was healthy that he was growing that he was happy as soon as i got over myself i realized that no matter his size he has a lot going for him i started noticing that while he s certainly not taller than anyone he is not by any means abnormally short either all was right in my world then it happened we took bear to the doctor to have his spine checked out for scoliosis and i ll be danged if the doctor didn t make a comment about his size in front of bear bear is smart clever handsome charismatic charming and everything good but sadly he s also like me he s a worrier he takes things to heart he obsesses and this doctor sparked something in him that he really hadn t paid attention to before then what i used to do he started doing the first week of intermediate was rough because he felt so small he was unable to see that he is right there in the pack he focused on praying that he ll at least be 5 10 silly things because again size does not matter but in our society a tall man gets noticed girls generally speaking want a man taller than they are then a god thing happened and i will forever love god for many reasons but this is right up there bear was measured at school right now at age 12 he s three inches shorter at 4 9 than i am his growth has yet to even begin and the kicker big d was looking at his passport he had when he was five it listed his height as 3 8 a couple of days later bear found the baseball card of his first year age 5 in little league it also listed his height 3 7 oh the joy on his face when he saw that he was only an inch shorter than his daddy at the same age i m not sure how accurate either height was at the time but my lips are firmly sealed and i keep reiterating all bear s positive attributes and how even if he s only a little bit taller than me he ll be perfect in god s eyes and some sweet thang s eyes he ll grow up to be amazing and i m going to make sure he believes it in himself who said it s harder to raise girls that s what i m talking about on 10 12 2009 10 talked too lady who lunches i love to eat lunch with friends i used to lament over the fact that by working i never get to go out to eat with my non working friends then i realized that yeah i may not be eating yummy food but i am eating outside of home and with some ladies who i truly enjoy their company my partners in crime my co workers we vent we talk we laugh and sometimes we cry it just never lasts nearly long enough i do still get together for lunch with the friends i first met when we moved here moving to a new place is one of the hardest and scariest things i ve done once you are an adult it s hard to make friends i was a stay at home mom with two very young kids it was quite lonely then lamb started school her best friend was a demanding sort of girl and she always demanded to her mom that lamb be invited over they also used to go to the parks by these invitations her mom i became good friends then the following year we met another mom we would hang out waiting for the bell to let the kids out of school and talk then slowly the kids started to move on to the next level of their education first the twin daughters then lamb and the daughter of one friend and the son of the other bear was next to move on now there is only the youngest son of my friend left while one of the ladies and i keep in better contact with each other the moms have also moved on the three of us didn t all have kids at the school anymore i started working full time at the school one friend started working full time at a library the kaleidoscope turned even though the three of us don t have that daily connection except for lamb and one of the boys the kids aren t friends with each other we try to get together for lunch at least once a season on the weekends our families know not to expect us for hours we met just a couple of weekends ago and sat in the restaurant for 3 hours we couldn t believe how fast time flew while we sat there and caught up with each other i wish we could see each other more often but i am thankful that we make time for each other when we can and i am thankful for the two of them that s what i m talking about on 10 05 2009 6 talked too sunday save a life feel your boobies i am very fortunate breast cancer does no...