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its alright really saturday december 28 2013 12 44 am reflections as 2013 comes to a close it calls for a reflection on the past one year of ups and downs looking back on the eventful year my first full year of work new friendships forged old friendships lost first cycling trip to ubin first japanese summer matsuri first trip to hongkong first trip to australia went to s e a aquarium twice attended second wedding first resignation of a team colleague first time in a long time that i felt that i didn t have much friends started cooking on weekends started french lessons first singapore health biomedical congress nhg s moving to nexus one north phantom of the opera musical first disneyland visit had my first niece first physiotherapy sessions started attending church regularly dad got retrenched not really a bad thing first valentines day in office and not a school first public protest hong lim park save singapore say no to 6 9million not the first time thinking that i found someone but didn t end up together not sure if i was just severely deluded started meeting most friends less than 4 times a year can t remember much more so i shall stop here for the day new year resolutions should come next but i ll leave that to another day for now i shall just lament on an ever repeating occurrence to me i spent a large portion of my life making the dear ones i love happy regardless of gender but again and again life never fails to let me know that no matter how much i do i do not get reciprocated in the same way and amount all i wanted was to find someone whom i could see put in some effort to do something for my sake i can safely say that no one on this earth would even bother to take leave to celebrate my birthday with me even if i asked for it who would bother wasting a day just to make me happy right and others they don t even bother asking me out when i don t ask them out it has come to the extent that i am just happy that anyone would even initiate a meet up anyone other than one shall not be named i wonder if it s just me am i just so insignificant to my dear friends for me to be able to fade out of their lives did i seem too desperate during those days that i initiated every meet up or did they really take for granted that i would always be the initiator why does this also applies to someone as well what the hell are you guys waiting for or maybe i m just simply replaceable just another friend expendable p s the above does not apply to milos for i know that they have stood and will continue standing by me through the many seasons walking on my own dusty road tuesday december 10 2013 9 36 pm fought with myself for the past one week i couldn t get it straight i couldn t understand why things can t happen the way i though it should the way things happen to others i wondered how long i had to wait let leak my emotions online i thought by doing the extremes i could psycho myself that it s all over that i wasn t actually waiting that i could take a chill pill and put a full stop to everything but who am i kidding now i m just sitting here seeing signs of your subtle replies in some medium or another hoping that i am just thinking too much about it and that they aren t things that you actually wanted to tell me afraid of losing what i have or more like losing what i don t scared to the core walking on my own dusty road friday october 18 2013 8 49 pm i don t understand how it can be so wired in me to make time for others when they can t be bothered to do the same for me yea it s probably that i ain t as important to them as they are to me sometimes i wished i wasn t such a people s person walking on my own dusty road tuesday july 16 2013 11 10 pm they will never be able to understand how it s like to be fighting a war for a chance that every single individual is supposed to be entitled to thinking that you will win some day but that day never comes it takes two hands to clap but right now i m just reaching out into emptiness walking on my own dusty road friday july 12 2013 10 09 pm one year ago i was wearing my mortar board board and graduation robe waiting patiently for my turn to get my scroll from the unidentified but dignified looking old man on the stage one year on i scrolling through my facebook feed looking at my friends graduation photos and reminiscing the past we really only get one chance for everything we do moments come and go cherish and live in the moment before it turns into a memory we can mimic what has been done before but we can never get back the exact feeling of that moment in time it has always been my secret wish that someone dear would give me a graduation bear on my graduation day but at las it never came true i could fairly well get one for myself but the feeling ain t there i could ask someone to get for me but it would be meaningless and so the day came and went i didn t get anything at all let alone a bear and that chance will never come again it seems silly now that i m still thinking about it on another note i m having the urge to run away again to run away from facing potential disaster yes it may be good but what if it doesn t i admit my cowardice when it comes to such stuff i want change yet i m afraid of it for once it seems nice to be alone walking on my own dusty road wednesday july 10 2013 10 49 pm this saturday a jumble of many conflicting emotions happy that i can have the chance to see you in flesh and blood soon scared that things may not turn out to at least be what i least expect lost that i have no idea what to expect apprehensive that what were words may come true anxious to find out what will happen confused about what i really hope will happen hopeful that it will move on contented with the current status quo fearful of the possibility that it may go downhill and many more that i can t find the words to describe but to sum it all u n c e r t a i n in all ways make it or break it only time can tell walking on my own dusty road sunday june 16 2013 9 55 pm got inspired to do a bucket list of my own after reading a friend s post let me see 1 kayaking in the norwegian fjords 2 strolling down the grand canal in venice 3 visiting the louvre museum 4 photoshoot at the eiffel 5 playing in the fields of green in matamata hobbiton 6 dress up in harajuku 7 making snow angels in hokkaido 8 disney ing in florida 9 watching the northern lights in finland 10 flying in a chopper across the grand canyon 11 eating seafood in sydney 12 building sand castles in redang 13 watching broadway in new york 14 lying on the green fields in switzerland 15 yelling into the niagara falls 16 snorkeling in maldives 17 watching the sunset sunrise at stonehenge 18 sunbathing on bora bora island 19 photographing the vatican in rome 20 trekking through yellowstone national park 21 picnic ing at the versailles castle 22 viewing the neuschwanstein castle in germany 23 visiting the reims cathedral in france 24 road trip to the uluru ayers rock in aussie 25 strolling down the streets in prague 26 driving through the golden gate bridge 27 visiting the smithsonian 30 lunch ing at oia greece the world is so big i m just so insignificant there s so much to see and do before i die and i want to share all that i see hear experience with the others as well so take my hand and let s go see the world walking on my own dusty road 私ただ val nusssc 31st mgmt comm nusssc runnus 2010 nusssc runnus 09 national university of singapore b sc hons chemistry national junior college 06s22 nj badminton exco 06 07 innova junior college 0623a 1st intake anderson secondary 1 1 2 1 3 3 4 3 andss badminton valerie yeo create your badge 欲しいもののリスト kate spade tiffany co fossil for everyone around me to be happy 私への話 私の友人 weiyen xiying selian nj bmt 過去の記憶 02 01 2004 03 01 2004 03 01 2004 04 01 2004 04 01 2004 05 01 2004 05 01 2004 06 01 2004 06 01 2004 07 01 2004 07 01 2004 08 01 2004 08 01 2004 09 01 2004 09 01 2004 10 01 2004 10 01 2004 11 01 2004 11 01 2004 12 01 2004 12 01 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