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this and everyone thinks im some psycho from laughing about it so much p that is the funniest shark scene i had ever seen i nearly wet myself laughing problem is my friend laughs like that doahhhh ho ho ho ho ho doahhhh the rest of the trailer and probably the entire movie serves only to detract from this piece of true brilliance thats record breaking funny posted by viper 1 13 2008 1 comments sunday january 06 2008 somewhat disturbing but enthralling posted by viper 1 06 2008 0 comments monday december 31 2007 carry on my wayward daughter holy mackinolies this was just unearthly my favorite youtube commnet dude that was the sickest shit ever dude the whole entire crowd should be shot in the kneecaps with a sniper rifle for that bullshit excuse for an applause on a scale from 1 10 that would be a bajillion i agree the applause t the end was disproportional to the performance wtf posted by viper 12 31 2007 0 comments sunday december 30 2007 life at tbs hilarious they disabled embedding so you will just have to go the link posted by viper 12 30 2007 2 comments sunday december 09 2007 pet rules to be posted very low on the refrigerator door nose height dear dogs and cats the dishes with the paw print are yours and contain your food the other dishes are mine and contain my food please note placing a paw print in the middle of my plate and food does not stake a claim for it becoming your food and dish nor do i find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest the stairway was not designed by nascar and is not a racetrack beating me to the bottom is not the object tripping me doesn t help because i fall faster than you can run i cannot buy anything bigger than a king sized bed i am very sorry about this do not think i will continue sleeping on the couch to ensure your comfort dogs and cats can actually curl up in a ball when they sleep it is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other stretched out to the fullest extent possible i also know that sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out the other end to maximize space is nothing but sarcasm for the last time there is not a secret exit from the bathroom if by some miracle i beat you there and manage to get the door shut it is not necessary to claw whine meow try to turn the knob or get your paw under the edge and try to pull the door open i must exit through the same door i entered also i have been using the bathroom for years canine or feline attendance is not required the proper order is kiss me then go smell the other dog or cat s butt i cannot stress this enough to pacify you my dear pets i have posted the following message on our front door to all non pet owners who visit like to complain about our pets 1 they live here you don t 2 if you don t want their hair on your clothes stay off the furniture that s why they call it fur niture 3 i like my pets a lot better than i like most people 4 to you it s an animal to me he she is an adopted son daughter who is short hairy walks on all fours and doesn t speak clearly remember in many ways dogs and cats are better than kids because they 1 eat less 2 don t ask for money all the time 3 are easier to train 4 normally come when called 5 never ask to drive the car 6 don t hang out with drug using friends 7 don t smoke or drink 8 don t have to buy the latest fashions 9 don t want to wear your clothes 10 don t need a gazillion dollars for college and finally 11 if they get pregnant you can sell their children posted by viper 12 09 2007 2 comments saturday november 24 2007 guess who this is i was shocked comment your guess and the first one to guess is the first one to guess posted by viper 11 24 2007 5 comments monday november 12 2007 happy birthday marines on nov 10 the marine corps turns 232 years old ever since it was formed in a philadelphia bar in 1775 the corps has given marines countless reasons to take pride in the heritage of their organization there is no shortage of instances in which marine units and individuals have distinguished themselves in battle but the bragging rights earned over the past 232 years weren t all born on the battlefield the corps culture sets it apart from other branches of the military in ways that those who have never earned the eagle globe and anchor find difficult to fully understand but what is obvious to even the most casual observer is that marines distinguish themselves through their unique appearance spirit and accomplishments to know the corps is to love the corps which is why marine corps times compiled the following list of 232 reasons to stand proudly at this year s birthday ball 1 cpl jason dunham first marine to receive the medal of honor since vietnam if jumping on a grenade to save a buddy isn t worth the top of the list nothing is 2 civilians have to find time to go to the gym marines get paid to go 3 the national museum of the marine corps it s like a smithsonian of leatherneck 4 there s no such thing as an ex marine 5 re enlistment rates are higher in the war zone 6 stink proof socks well almost systems command is working on them 7 jalapeño cheese 8 every marine into the fight 9 lump sum re enlistment bonuses up to 80 000 many of you would consider doing it for free 10 new uniforms 1 pixel pattern cammies yeah the corps came up with that 11 doc 12 flexed arm hang is harder than it looks we tried it 13 barracks parties on non payday weekends 14 marine gunners 15 the wounded warrior regiment 16 maradmin 266 07 letting 18 year old marines drink on base at this year s birthday ball 17 no receipt necessary for travel claim expenses less than 75 18 the lance corporal underground 19 fallujah ii 21 archibald henderson s couch re upholstered is still in the commandant s living room 22 no better friend no worse enemy 23 typhoons approaching okinawa often spark islandwide beer runs 24 waivers 25 gen james jones who followed his tour as commandant with appointment as supreme intergalactic overlord ok it was supreme allied commander europe but close 26 10 rounds from the 500 yard line 27 per diem 28 to civilians every marine is recon 29 recruiting in texas is like hunting at the zoo 30 the boat cloak because every super hero needs a cape 31 you can re enlist in the irr 32 the wallet in your sock 33 motivating television commercials 34 the horse shoe haircut gone but not forgotten 35 the global address list find your buddies and send them links to marine corps times 36 running cadences that mention napalm and eskimos 37 stories that begin with so there i was 38 modified parade rest 39 the transformation who you are when you join is not nearly as important as who you become 40 lt gen jim mattis getting a fourth star 41 if you ve been on liberty in twentynine palms you ve been on liberty in yuma and barstow too 42 grooming standards not only can you not act like a thug you cannot look like a thug 43 it s not the army 44 women in manhattan have all seen the fleet week episode of sex and the city 45 combat shotguns 46 combat action ribbons ieds count now and should have counted all along duh 47 the occasional free beer wear your blues into a bar and see what happens 48 after decades of debate there remains no resolution on whether sand fleas trump the reaper 49 the corps doesn t call its officers commissioned or not petty 50 cpl gareth hawkins lying on a stretcher after an ied shattered his leg demanded re enlistment before medical evacuation and got it 51 whereas army navy and air force jokes are funny marine jokes are potentially dangerous 52 the occasional friendly debate refer to a marine staff noncommissioned officer simply as sergeant and see what happens 53 that troublesome 10 percent making good marines look great since 1775 54 everyone at a high school reunion is obliged to justify his last 10 years except the guy wearing alphas 55 as if ranks that include the words master and gunnery aren t intimidating enough on their own the corps uses them both at once 56 soldiers have hooah bars marines have ka bars the second will generally get you the first 57 the dress code you can wear your cammies to meet the commandant or repair a tank 58 from aliens to doom the future vision of warfare almost always includes space marines 59 the corps was formed in a bar 60 marines predicted the wwii campaigns in the pacific years earlier and prepared for the inevitable so when a marine says hey i ve been thinking perhaps you should take notes 61 give a marine some free time and he ll rip down your dictator s statue 62 if it ain t raining we ain t training 64 duty station garden spots jacksonville n c yuma ariz bridgeport calif twentynine palms calif yes we re kidding 65 making morning pt on time 66 recruiters who promise everything except a rose garden 67 mustangs 1 it s easier to take crap from a co who went to boot camp 69 gen peter pace the first marine chairman of the joint chiefs he left his four star insignia with his fallen comrades at the vietnam wall when he retired nice move 70 the people zapper using microwave energy to disperse a crowd sounds like fun semper fry gunny 71 nothing says good morning like a mouthful of copenhagen and freeze dried coffee 72 nothing says i love you like a welcome home sheet hanging on a chain link fence 73 bill barnes in june the former marine beat the crap out of a 27 year old pickpocket who tried to make off with his dough oh yeah he s 72 74 leftwich trophy heisman winners only think they know about leaving it all on the field 75 eod if you don t know why this is on the list defuse the next ied yourself 76 tax free combat pay doing what you signed up for and not having to give uncle sam a dime back 77 montford point marines the first african american marines know a little something about honor courage and commitment 78 front toward enemy it s not just a visual reference on a claymore mine it s a marine corps way of life 79 mustangs 2 you know at least three marines who drive them it s like a ford dealership exploded on base 80 fred smith founder of fedex only a former marine could truly appreciate the value of getting your mail on time 81 cmc the tallest member of the joints chiefs ok so we haven t actually measured but he looks the tallest anyway 82 no more spit shining boots 83 chuck norris was in the air force steve mcqueen was a marine 84 the crucible 85 1 9 2 9 and 3 9 welcome back fellas 86 the frog uniform you are now sweat wickin and flame lickin 88 the m4 more rifles in the fight is generally a win win 89 mraps trucks straight out of mad max we still love a good humvee but we loved jeeps too things change 90 arty guys who do civil affairs they blow it up then they fix it circle of life 91 service charlies they look so good the navy s copying em 92 fake marines no one eats em up faster than real marines 93 john lovell a 71 year old former marine is sitting in a subway restaurant when two armed men try to rob the place lovell grabs his 45 kills one and wounds the other no word on how lovell s sandwich fared 94 3rd battalion 5th marines six navy crosses so far six 95 staff sgt lawrence dean ii aka the badass marine he recites a poem he gets uploaded to youtube thousands get motivated 96 gen james conway takes over as the new commandant among his demands a new pt uniform new tattoo regs a plan to add dress blues to the seabag a change up in medals and 22 000 more marines someone s been thinking about taking over for a while huh 97 body fat standards everyone hates them until they see a fat marine 98 jarhead only a former marine could write a war story about not fighting anyone and make it last for 200 pages then get jamie foxx to star in the movie 99 the stumps the rock the sandbox oh the places you ll serve 101 tattoos 2 getting a fallen friend s name tattooed on your other forearm and knowing the same 102 the new pt running suit sure the army had them first but the army gets most things first 103 marine expeditionary units the cheapest cruise you ll ever take 104 camp lejeune the closest interstate and the nearest good shopping mall are both at least an hour away 105 camp pendleton there are roads and malls but try affording a house near the main gate 106 tattoos 3 meat tags getting your blood type and other info inked on your ribcage isn t necessarily a bad idea 107 the marine corps is getting bigger the navy is getting smaller 109 30 days paid vacation plus federal holidays off is obscene by civilian standards 110 maj gen marion e carl the corps first fighter ace first marine to fly a helicopter two navy crosses five distinguished flying crosses 14 air medals in 1998 the 82 year old was killed during a home break in when he jumped in front of a shotgun blast aimed at his longtime wife edna 111 tattoos 4 reaction to the new policy conway says sleeves are going away marines run for the chair tattoo parlors never saw so much business 113 guaranteed pay raises 114 marine security guard 1 duty in the bahamas 115 having a wwii marine say he s proud of you 116 drew carey used to be in the marine corps reserve now he s the host of the price is right 117 combatant diver pins no more of that navy crap 118 a red stripe is a beer mon a blood stripe is a symbol of pride 119 nmci if only they would remove the mc 120 you watched 300 and it reminded you of your unit 121 the det one 45 pistol designed by marines for marines 122 combat marksmanship you are creeping death and you get graded on it 123 never lost six nukes on a plane 124 camelbaks water tastes like water again 125 give a marine enough free time and he ll marry your bahraini princess 126 go to youtube type in bored marines enjoy 127 when the president gets on a helicopter it s not called army one 128 the opposite of the peace corps 129 camouflage you can camouflage anything and make it cool 130 no fear 1 marines aren t scared of anything except apricots and charms 131 combat optics on m16s leave the iron sights just in case 132 combat loss amnesty for missing gear it s like pleading the fifth 133 riding a chartered continental airlines flight home from the war zone with assault weapons stuffed in all the overhead compartments 134 in combat the division band becomes a heavy machine gun platoon 135 what do headaches broken bones infectious diseases missing limbs and hurt feelings all have in common motrin thanks doc 137 global instability equals job security 138 when nmci goes down and it will it s like having the day off 139 the honor privilege and responsibility of leading mentoring and caring for junior marines 140 gunnery sergeants don t know the answer ask the gunny need something ask the gunny in trouble avoid the gunny 141 because gunny said so 142 the line to get tazed at a military gear expo marines will do anything for a free t shirt 143 deployment reunions like reliving your wedding night sweet 144 gig lines even in khakis and a polo shirt 145 eight point covers even the uniform stands at attention 146 marine security guards 2 they re not cute and cuddly but when they greet yo...