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Text of the page (random words):
because you were just going down to the corner if i ever get real rich i hope i m not real mean to poor people like i am now sometimes i think you have to march right in and demand your rights even if you don t know what your rights are or who the person is you re talking to then on the way out slam the door most of the time it was probably real bad being stuck down in a dungeon but some days when there was a bad storm outside you d look out your little window and think boy i m glad i m not out in that consider the daffodil and while you re doing that i ll be over here looking through your stuff for mad scientists who keep brains in jars here s a tip why not add a slice of lemon to each jar for freshness it s sad that a family can be torn apart by something as simple as a pack of wild dogs instead of having answers on a math test they should just call them impressions and it you got a different impression so what can t we all be brothers if god dwells inside us like some people say i sure hope he like enchiladas because that s what he s getting somebody told me how frightening it was how much topsoil we are losing each year but i told that story around the campfire and nobody got scared i hope that after i die people will say of me that guy sure owed me a lot of money if you get invited to your first orgy don t just show up nude that s a common mistake you have to let nudity happen ambition is like a frog sitting on a venus flytrap the flytrap can bite and bite but it won t bother the frog because it only has little tiny plant teeth but some other stuff could happen and it could be like ambition can t the marx brothers be arrested and maybe even tortured for all the confusion and problems they ve caused how come the dove gets to be the peace symbol how about the pillow it has more feathers than the dove and it doesn t have that dangerous beak instead of studying for finals what about just going to the bahamas and catching some rays maybe you ll flunk but you might have flunked anyway that s my point i hope that someday we will be able to put away our fears and prejudices and just laugh at people i hope when they die cartoon characters have to answer for their sins if they ever come up with a swashbuckling school i think one of the courses should be laughing then jumping off something it s funny that pirates were always going around searching for treasure and they never realized that the real treasure was the fond memories they were creating deep thoughts by kids i like to go down to the dog pound and pretend that i ve found my dog then i tell them to kill it anyway because i already gave away all of his stuff dog people sure don t have a sense of humor age 14 for centuries people thought the moon was made of green cheese then the astronauts found that the moon is really a big hard rock that s what happens to cheese when you leave it out age 6 if we could just get everyone to close their eyes and visualize world peace for an hour imagine how serene and quiet it would be until the looting started age 15 posted by weston hawkins at 7 14 am no comments wednesday november 19 2008 haha i will never get work as a male model posted by weston hawkins at 12 43 am 3 comments tuesday november 18 2008 the dregs of my thoughts a couple things i forgot to write about yesterday ever since i got hit by that truck well technically i hit the truck but you know what i mean i ve been jumping at loud sounds and getting surprised easily i hope my heart can take it i missed that audition with the thai tv show dan daaraa i called back today and she said the queue is pretty full so i have to call back again at the end of the month it s a real bummer cause if i d made it on monday i could have auditioned and even already recorded for the show if they can get me in by the end of the month though that should be enough time even if they record the show and it airs after i m back in america that ll get me the exposure i m hoping for and people will starting getting in touch with me which will give me the needed incentive to return back to thailand soon otherwise it might be a while i was thinking about the purpose of life the other day that sounds really lame but i honestly had some really good thoughts i think two very understated principles related to the purpose of this life is the correct use of god given agency a powerful force and the constant development of self mastery obedience to the truth within oneself the beginnings of my understanding regarding these two principles began on my mission as far back as the mtc i was at a point where i found it hard to follow some of the seemingly insignificant rules in place at the mtc i thought about it long and hard and realized that the reason there were so many rules was because in not too long we would be at a point where we d be mostly on our own and we d have to have already developed a testimony of the principle of obedience the mtc is the time for missionaries to take the rules and make them their own there is always someone watching at the mtc if you disobey a rule you re probably going to have to answer to it but in the mission field that may not be the case maybe a missionary companionship decides to break certain rules and keep it between them who would ever know so in order to live up to the responsibility that the lord and mission president gives a missionary by putting them hundreds of miles away from the mission home and leaving them to do the work basically on their own obviously with the spirit as a third companion they have to prove themselves worthy in the mtc by developing a sense of strict obedience it s more than just a desire to be obedient it has to be ingrained within the missionary s personality and the way for a missionary to do that as i learned for myself is to take the rules that they are forced per se to follow and make them their own rules internal rules to the point where it doesn t matter if they have to answer to anyone else for keeping or breaking those rules they have developed the attitude that above all they have to answer to themselves the prerequisite to this is obviously a testimony of true principles acquired through humbly petitioning god once the rules have become your own you are ready to basically be released into the wild taking it backwards a step this same idea applies to the years growing up as children under the stewardship and governing of parents righteous parents teach their children correct principles normally in the form of rules and a system of reward punishment but in order for those children to be successful adults once they fly the nest they have to have developed the attitude of being able to answer to themselves to their conscience to the spirit basically parents teach children rules that they must make their own in order to be successful adults the mtc teaches missionaries rules based on true principles that they must make their own in order to be successful missionaries in the mission field and now to the purpose of life god gives his children rules commandments with associated blessings and punishment that they must internalize and develop as their own personal belief system in order to one day not only return to him but also escape damnation by having proved themselves worthy of continuing to develop and progress eternally without needing his constant supervision those of his children who pass the test by making the rules their own holding themselves personally and solely accountable for living up to the true principles of which they have a divinely given testimony are worthy of a continued pursuit of eternal progression and success and the turning point to making this possible in each circumstance children adults mtc missionaries field missionaries as man is god once was as god is many may become is the use of the powerful and highly misunderstood truth of one s personal agency i ll save that one for later cause that opens up a whole nother can of worms and i m not even sure any of what i just wrote makes all that much sense my thoughts are kind of jumbled posted by weston hawkins at 10 51 pm 2 comments monday november 17 2008 anger management issues i keep getting shocked lately i went up to kalasin this weekend and stayed with my buddy suwit who is the branch president up there there are no light switches so when you wanna turn the lights on you gotta plug in a switch and i swear every time i would plug in the bathroom light i d get the crap shocked out of me and then again at the english camp the power to the laptop we were using must not have been grounded cause anything metal on or plugged into the computer zapped me even the escalators exiting the subway shocks me every time this last week i went back up to kalasin my greenie area for a few days it was great to see all the members there and see so many people that i taught that are still strong in the church and even contributing to the continued growth of that small branch through their callings and personal missionary efforts there are a couple guys bank and bon that should be putting their mission papers in sometime soon it was great to hang out with suwit and catch up with him we were pretty tight there back in my greenie days and he even moved down to the pakkret branch for a while for work while i was serving there to tell the truth though besides seeing all the members up there i couldn t stand being in kalasin i forgot how completely boring it is there is literally nothing going on i think that s why president sends a lot of greenies there they don t know any better yet so everything is interesting up there but it s not exactly a place where you d wanna take an extended vacation i was glad to be up there that week though because i got to celebrate loy krathong with the members if i d been down in bangkok i might not have been able too because this year it coincided with the king s older sister s funeral so they didn t really have any big loy krathong celebrations the same day i got back from kalasin i had to go up to an english camp in chainat i took a bus to meet up with the staff that were gonna be driving up the money collector lady on the bus would not speak thai to me i d ask her a question and she d just make a face or something like that was the only way she would answer me like she would just point with her eyes and for some reason that ticked me off something so little and stupid like that i eventually got off the bus farther away from where i needed to be because she wouldn t tell me what stop i needed to get off on so that just put me in an even worse mood i refused to pay more money for a taxi or motorcycle to take me there so i started walking there was this drugged out kid on the sidewalk so i walked into the park and must have walked half a mile in the direction i needed to be going only to find out that the only exit out of the park was the one i d walked through in the first place of course i got even more ticked off and the whole time in my mind i m telling myself i have no reason to make such a big deal out of this i m here walking through this beautiful park and life is pretty great just try to enjoy the now so i guess it s good that at least i can recognize when i m being irrational and i m trying to deal with it eventually i hopped the fence pain in the butt because i refused to walk all the way back to the entrance and i was carrying a couple heavy bags the english camp was fun there were about 100 high school kids that we spent 2 days with doing activities and assignments and helping them apply their english language skills i decided not to let the kids know i spoke thai until the end of the camp but that was a lot harder than i thought because when i hear thai now or when someone speaks to me in thai i don t translate it to english first or think of a response in english and translate it to thai for the most part i do my day to day thinking in english but when it comes to speaking thai my brain just switches to thai mode getting back from the english camp was a hassle i rode with the staff from chainat to suphanburi then took a bus from there to mochit in bangkok then hopped on another bus to go pick up my motorcycle at big c near central world then i got some gas and started driving home after hours of traveling i was almost home when i got hit by a truck i ve never been in an accident before so this was my first i was just driving along and at a safe speed too cause it had been raining and the roads were kind of slick there was a truck parked not moving on the left side of the road we drive on the left here with its blinker on of course i saw him but i had the right of way so i kept driving straight ahead in my lane the farthest left of the two left lanes and just as i was about to pass him he started to turn into the road i turned braked as much as i could on a slick road to avoid him and honked my horn and if he had stopped right then i probably could ve have avoided him but he just kept on turning and i slammed into the front right side of the truck me and the motorcycle went down hard fortunately not into oncoming traffic with broken plastic and glass shattering around me and it was right at that point that i lost control of my emotions and rage took over as i write about it i feel shame for my inability to keep myself in check adrenaline was pumping through my veins and i got up out of the road and walked over to the truck and slammed both hands on the hood as hard as i could while yelling and swearing at the passengers through the windshield could i have hurt someone in the vehicle if they had stepped out of the cab right then i don t know but that uncontrollable rage only lasted for about 10 seconds before it dissipated i realized cars in the other lanes were honking at me to get my motorcycle out of the road so they could continue on their way home they see accidents all the time and i was obviously not badly injured as i was up on two feet so i pulled my motorcycle out of the road into a side street and the truck drove over too he called his insurance and we waited the passengers were a couple guys and a couple girls in their late 20 s they checked to see if i was okay and honestly i did feel okay but that was just the adrenaline eventually my hip started killing like it d been overextended or something it s still pretty sore today and so are the muscles in my left leg left arm and neck otherwise no major injuries the guy driver admitted he was wrong but then started arguing with me about how i had no place to slam his hood like that it had left handprints in his hood that he d have to get pounded out at first i got defensive how could anyone be expected to be accountable for their actions after getting into a car accident eventually though i realized that even if i felt like the person who had slammed his hood was not me because i wasn t in control i still had to take responsibility for it it reminds me of the guy in colorado w...