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the t on today s news skip to main skip to sidebar the t on today s news the same ol me that i always was just 100000000000000x better tuesday january 27 2009 so the mourning period is over and i m actually doing a lot better than i thought i would be as i look outside and the snow is quietly hitting the ground and ruining the rather productive day i thought i would be having i sit and reflect on the what 09 may bring marcus was a great guy and i had a lot of great times with him but i m just tired of waiting and can no longer do such i am officially back on the market but i m taking it extremely slow don t want to be back in this position in 3 or 4 months i m just gonna take my time in other t who knew that the bgc forums were so damn addictive i loooovveee them they ve really helped me keep my mind off of my situation and sharpen my whit posted by j_shanlin at 5 19 am 20 comments sunday january 18 2009 call me now so i m going on the road with ms cleo because i am now a psychic yesterday i posted that my relationship was on the rocks and not soon after marcus came over and i got the news he said that he couldn t be with me because i want kids and a family and everything that goes along with it and this whole lifestyle is wearing me out i m very angry now posted by j_shanlin at 8 54 am 9 comments saturday january 17 2009 the honeymoon is over honey ok so i know i ve been coming with a lot of random stuff lately but hopefully this ll be the last before i can get myself together sooo me and marcus have been through some things that i ve never even disclosed on the blog partly because i really haven t had the time to write it partly because i haven t had the heart to write it and partly because i don t know how to describe it i don t say that in negativity though it just is what it is all i can say is that i love that guy though i love the way his head is a shape that i ve never seen before the way there is no differentiation between his claves and his ankles cankles the way his crooked smile looks like a kid s smile i don t know there s just so much history jam packed into the 2 and half on and off years we ve shared and it s hard to let go he was like my first everything and that s just not something i take lightly but nonetheless i m feeling some type of way last week we had conversation i was kind of depressed because i felt like i don t have any friends sure i have homeboys and homegirls but it seems like everybody has that go to girl or guy that they can just bear all with and that is just not the case with me i m always left either to journal blog or just keep inside what i m feeling and that s a lot of times so i figured i would talk to him about it i don t know he basically said that i needed to be more comfortable with myself before i can want friends i should stop worrying about having friends etc etc and i was just kind of pissed off about the whole situation i kinda felt like he was setting aside my feelings like i was a child or something but then the convo turned into this whole i think you need to grow up conversation he basically said that to be with him there was some growing up i had to do because he was so goal oriented and so prepared for his future that he didn t want to be carrying around any foolishness i was pissed off to say the least i mean i m pretty damn grown i m 19 about to be 20 moved out of my parents house at 18 working a very stable job making good money even have some in savings i m pretty stable minded goal oriented etc etc i would say that maturity is not something i lack in apparently he thinks differently so since last week i ve been feeling some type of way maybe it s just me being self conscious but i ve felt like the i love yous have been 1 2 assed the kisses have been a chore and i feel like we are just going through the motions i feel like we re on our last leg honestly and i don t know where that feeling is coming from for y all that have been in a failed relationship before have you ever felt that dark cloud of breakup looming over your head and you just know that at any moment god could open the floodgates and release a herculean storm on your relationship that s how i feel and i do not have my umbrella and my rainboots who knows maybe it s just me but time will definitely tell i need a jumper cable for my relationship asap or i ll be tying a white flag to the antenna and waiting for aaa to come tow it to the junk yard posted by j_shanlin at 6 41 am 3 comments friday january 16 2009 wtf circuit city is closing ummm can you say liquidation posted by j_shanlin at 2 33 pm 2 comments thursday january 15 2009 andy warhol said this and i appreciate it what s great about this country is that america started the tradition where the richest consumers buy essentially the same things as the poorest you can be watching tv and see coca cola and you know that the president drinks coca cola liz taylor drinks coca cola and just think you can drink coca cola too a coke is a coke and no amount of money can get you a better coke than the one the bum on the corner is drinking all the cokes are the same and all the cokes are good liz taylor knows it the president knows it the bum knows it and you know it also who knew you could watch movies online with a netflix subscription posted by j_shanlin at 6 39 pm 1 comment wednesday january 7 2009 analog tv new yrs and resolution and judge karen autosave so i m looking at my blog like damn i haven t posted since december 14th i m sorry y all let me first wish you a merry belated christmas and a very happy new year i hope everyone s holidays were safe and nice i personally ate my ass off this holiday and i have absolutely no regrets about it so let me give a brief recap of my holiday and then i ll get to some other random madness so christmas morning there was a lot ofo craziness leading up to this point marcus had to do some time because he didn t go to a court date that was supposed to be changed it was just a whole lot of crazy shit because the police came to his grandmother s house looking for him and all this shit it wasn t good at all but he got out on christmas eve and everything was all good nonetheless we went to towson town centre and did some shopping because of the fact that the city of baltimore had him in custody he hadn t done any shopping what a mess so we did that and then we went to this hibachi place that was like amazing now his birthday is on christmas so i was in there causing a scene and telling all the people that it was his birthday and i had all the people singing happy birthday to him he was pissed lol so we get home and i helped him wrap his gifts and then we did the things that couples do wink and it was really nice really nice now i m a morning person and he is not so i was up all early on christmas and this nigga didn t wakeup til noon when he woke up i sang my best version of happy birthday and then i gave him his gift it would ve been gifts but i ll get to that in a moment i got him this really nice graphite damier canvas louis vuitton wallett from chevy chase he loved it he also loves the converse brand and on any given day if you see him and he s not at work he ll more than likely have converses on although i have gotten him hooked on jordans now so i went on the site and custom designed him some converse and i put his name on the back but i still haven t got those whores yet he ll get em when i get em now he got me a tiffany co cuff that i really wanted and these jordans i love them and i love him lol after that i just went over my parents house and i ate and ate and ate and played with my siblings and ate some more it was wonderful now ff to new years not too much to say about that i ended up going to church for the watchnight service it was really great i always feel like church is a great way to start the year off now in regards to my resolutions i have decided to watch my mouth better and expand my vocabulary my mouth is terrible and the f word just flys out of my mouth so i ve got to do better it s just not right also i recently had a convo with darius about one part of our relationship marcus likes to eat and i like to eat but i don t cook and he does but he hates cooking sooo my other resolution is to start cooking more i ve decided to cook at least twice a week since that decision it s been going pretty well i ve successfully made scrambled eggs lol bacon baked salmon fried green beans cheddar biscuits and lasagna and actually they ve all been pretty well in other t i m trying to decide what i m going to do about this switch to digital television i have an old ass 19 television with an antenna that allows me to watch steve wilkos and jerry springer just fine damnit i suppose the only choices that i have are 1 buy a new digital tv 2 get cable 3 buy one of those bootleg ass converter boxes idk help me out yall did i mention i love these ladies judge penny reminds me of dorinda clark cole posted by j_shanlin at 7 41 am 6 comments sunday december 14 2008 soooo it s sunday night i m in the bed watching street kings with marcus i do not want to go to fuckin work in the morning and i shouldn t have to come january 1 when my leave starts over again i will be effin m i a and that s that posted by j_shanlin at 7 21 pm 5 comments older posts home subscribe to posts atom rep ya hood feedjit live blog stats blog archive 2009 6 january 6 so the mourning period is over and i m actually d call me now the honeymoon is over honey wtf andy warhol said this and analog tv new yrs and resolution and judge karen a 2008 58 december 2 november 3 october 6 september 3 august 2 june 7 may 4 april 5 march 6 february 10 january 10 2007 43 march 11 february 10 january 22 2006 31 december 19 november 12 about me j_shanlin i m just a plain ol black gay teenager that likes to write and is trying to to do something with his life thanks for stoppin through my lil blogspot view my complete profile free counter