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Text of the page (random words):
is phil where the hell is phil since the dawn of man all humans have known someone who had a friend who was a flight attendant here now i am that friend sunday march 08 2009 ice art a critique i believe i ve mentioned before how bad the art on ice bags can be i see a lot of different brands of ice albeit early in the morning when i m already in a bad mood and not very charitable and i thought i d show you a few of the things i ve had to withstand in my own ridiculous style here follows a review of several of the most common ice companies bag art generic ice bag simple but no imagination then again no news is good news and this is much better than some of the crap designs that follow i give it a c just as much for not being bad as not being good macondo ice i m not sure what a macondo is but i kinda like the name i m on board already and the retro price is right theme only adds to the presentaion however this ice is clearly not crystal clear as the bag posits thumbs up for style thumbs down for truth in advertising again a c snowman ice this is one of the ones i hate here s what is ostensibly a snowman but he could just as easily be made of dough the way his legjoints work he s standing on one leg on a block of wood amidst clawmarks from an unseen predator illogical ill executed and just plain bad its only merit is that it s labeled ice and it does in fact contain ice d jack frost ice ugh ok how long will it take for designers to realize that powder blue and light red are colors that when paired should exist only in the 60s and let s take a look at jack himself wearing underwear on the outside is neither smart nor fashionable his left arm seems to have been twisted into a stump yet we can still see his left hand and he s doing the heeeyyyy point which makes him a douchebag and what s with his eyes instead of pupils he seems to have the lost sankara stones from indiana jones and the temple of doom this one gives me nightmares f subservient eskimo ice this one again gives me the willies here s a random shape that someone thought would look like an igloo if that someone just drew a few lines on it and made a door at the bottom this guy s not going to fit in there even if there is a party picnic going on and let s take a closer look at this dude s face those are sharp teeth he s got this may be the elusive predator that took a shot at the wood block doughman plus again with the sparkling sparkling water doesn t sparkle and neither does ice but i am down with monsters where you least expect them c iceworks ice now we re getting somewhere we got art deco going on here little problem with the proportions with the buildings in the front or are those ice towers but look at the fade work at the top this is good work however at the bottom the address of the factory is listed research blvd eh if you have to build a factory on research blvd to figure out the recipe for ice you re trying too hard excellent execution but lousy iq b mireles ice ok this just looks like the front of an 8th grade cheerleader s math notebook mireless is spanish for look at this and i can t tell if that s ironic or not either way i don t wanna look at it d home city ice we have some good art principles going on here good use of negative and positive space even if we are back to red and blue again home city makes you think of where you live a comforting setting in which to use ice however this is one of those that goes overboard with the description ice is frozen water and here we have cube size ice nuggets not sure if i want to have all that trouble in my glass and something about not using the superlative of the word healthy makes the slogan sound a little off healthier than homemade it s not the healthiest but it s better that what you can do with your antiquated home ice making equipment great art but the wordage is a little on the snarky side b glace ice now this one is just a pleasure to review this is a first in all my years of ice looking at a three color design blue white and off white just to give the illusion of depth this is a bear that actually looks like a bear also the bag is translucent blue which gives an extra touch of class and in a postmodern move the bag is simply labeled ice in both english and french must be canadian a little pretentious but the art backs it up a north hollywood ice they say when your enemy goes high tech you go low tech this approach also works here you d think that hollywood would crank out a glitzy product but what we have is a simple carriage but it evokes the old west days where folk waited for the ice wagon to roll in and cool things off you do most of the work in your mind here but the end result is the same an image of an oasis of cool in an unforgiving world of hot no one s driving the carriage though and that s a little spooky b arctic glacier ice here again is good work three color art albeit with red and blue again but the darker blue doesn t clash with the red as much a trap skillfully avoided premium ice is a little overblown of a claim but while we re on that let s look at the back where an even overblowner claim is made inside out frozen ice just how does that work and when it s fully frozen can anyone but an ice scientist tell the difference and again they re bagging on us for not being able to use the power of temperature in our own homes while giving us the crystal clear line again and check out hard frozen isn t soft frozen called melted however they self deprecate enough with the next line that i m willing to believe that they re not all jerks in the ad department great art complicated and dubious science and a joke b spanish ice this here says ice in spanish don t believe me well just look at the penguin direct and bilingual well single lingual because it s not in english too but the penguin dressed up b reddy ice they fell into the red blue trap here but the clean design and translucent work dig them back out they should perhaps learn to spell but the repetition of the ds draws your eye in toward the snowflake design principles at work b crazy cubes now here s crappy what colors are these yup and as patriotic as that may be whay exactly is crazy about ice or a cube for that matter a square six sided object is about the most stable and predictable thing i can imagine plus with all this ghb scare going on do you really want crazy in your drink i don t oh but look where it s manufactured yup new orleans that explains it and you gotta love the translation of cubitos locos typical n o production broken all up but with a lot of heart and that s what gets this one by c glace ice again i don t know if this is the same company with a new design but it s pretty good too stark blue with fade work almost makes you feel the cold right and look a warning to keep frozen why do all ice companies think we re complete idiots b all season ice thought i d end on a good note now this is brilliant though one color the clean lines and use of space knocks out the competition the sun snowflake icon is something you d look at in a magazine or in a gallery and here it is on a bag of ice i d get a tattoo of that wonderful and no bigger than science claims about how technically proficient this frozen water is just a reminder that you can use it anytime it ll be there for you whatever the season stellar a posted by phil at 10 34 pm 58 comments sunday march 01 2009 a name to live up to today i was the aft fa and sitting next to me was a family with a small baby cute i remarked watching his head bobble around what s his name the dad grinned and flipped over his bib embroidered there was cobra that s gonna be one bad ass kid that is until he meets someone named mongoose in middle school posted by phil at 10 34 pm 1 comments tuesday february 17 2009 flight 3407 buffalo capt marvin renslow pilot rebecca shaw first officer matilda quintero flight attendant donna prisco flight attendant capt joseph zuffoletto off duty crew member posted by phil at 3 55 pm 1 comments sunday february 15 2009 space junk two o clock a satellite fell out of orbit this week and on the weather report that hal in the cockpit prints out there was actually an advisory for space debris now that is my kind of weather posted by phil at 10 32 am 1 comments sunday february 08 2009 mad libbing in houston this last trip i flew with a british fa who we ll call shona because that s her name she does model work when she s not flying and so armed with the accent and the looks she s the kind of girl that s going to get into whatever there is in front of her because she can the second night we landed in houston and we all met downstairs to try to figure out what we were going to do for the evening shona pointed to a group of folk at the other end of the hotel lobby and said oi they luke loik an interesting lot they do she vanished for a moment then came back exactly one moment later we re goin wi them she said with a grin turns out they were a group of norwegian mud scientists and we were going with them to do sushi i m going to say that again norwegian mud scientists to be fair they weren t all from norwegia one was a scot and some of them were good ol southern boys including one from my home state but sushi in houston with norwegian mud scientists sounds more completely random and that s what i m sticking with over dinner the obvious question was asked what s a mud scientist well now that i know i ll tell you a mud scientist helps oil drillers drill holes in mud why do you need a scientist for that when everyone plays with mud from earliest days well because when you drill a hole you ve got a big column of mud around the drill and knowing the exact cubic amount and consistency of said mud is the difference between breaking the very expensive drill in too hard mud and losing it altogether in too soft mud there s a lot to it they explained and they get paid infinitely more to know all of it than anyone would imagine i giggled out loud that a company would pay someone anyone to use a slide rule and an abacus to play in mud and the scottish guy said great innit now shut it and drink and having been so ordered i did they ve all graduated by now and are out on the force mud calculating go to it guys mud away posted by phil at 10 21 am 3 comments tuesday january 20 2009 sundance a while ago i met a girl in l a who was actually friends with another friend i met there we call her gallo because that s her name but it s her last name and i m not sure why we call her that anyway she ended up dating a talented documentary maker and he works at sundance every year wanna come hang out gallo says why yes i say yes i do park city is where sundance happens and that s about half an hour east of slc through a great big canyon it s a small ski town and i m sure you ve seen pictures of the celebrities that swamp the place during the festival we stayed in one of the local s houses turns out they do just like the locals in new orleans do during mardi gras which is to get the hell out and rent their houses out to yahoos that want to come have no space for parking and nowhere to go to the bathroom and pretty much all you do for a week straight during sundance is go see movies well you do if you got tickets seventeen years in advance i hadn t but i knew gallo and she knew todd the documentarist and so we got in to see tyson which turned out to be a surprisingly human view of mike the boxer yeah everyone knows he s the guy who bit that other guy s ear off but when you hear him tell you that he was getting head butted which is an illegal tactic you suddenly see it in the slo mo replays and you wonder how you could have missed it of course cannibalism is probably not the best way to respond but really who can say what they would do in any given situation blah blah blah and the film reminds you that under all that goofy hoopla he really was one of the most amazing ass beaters of all time he looks funny in a tux yup he showed up tuxedos are meant for people who can t lift winnebagos he was soft spoken and friendly and answered the audience s questions in an amusingly frank way and when someone asked him if he was meeting paris hilton later he didn t kill them like i would have after that i saw elijah wood on the street he looked taller that i thought he would while we were walking back to the house a car full of locals that couldn t get out idled up i guess they were brain dead because they had spraypainted the car with the word locals and were wearing no shirts in the 30 degree weather and they all hung out the windows and continually screamed i wish i could walk around wearing a pea coat i m pretty sure they were brain dead but i have to admit that just about everyone who came to sundance including me was wearing a pea coat sundance is now done posted by phil at 10 20 am 4 comments friday january 16 2009 extra extra one single hero pilot averts entire disaster on the hudson i know the pilot whose name you ve already heard along with first officer jeffrey skiles whose name you haven t did a fantastic job getting this plane down in one piece and with no fatalities but i also wanna say out loud that the three reasons that you have all these front page pictures of people standing on the wings of a floating plane are doreen welsh donna dent and sheila dail the flight attendants on duty the reason i want to say this is that no one else in the media did posted by phil at 3 24 pm 21 comments where the hell i ve been where the hell you are previous posts ice art a critique a name to live up to flight 3407 buffalo space junk two o clock mad libbing in houston sundance extra extra one single hero pilot averts entire sibling on the slopes planes get ice face too christmas in the valley utah things salt lake city public library the great salt air rocky point haunted house snowbird ski resort alta ski resort kentucky fried chicken kennecott copper mine salt lake city cemetery back home in louisiana raising cane s zatarain s zapp s potato chips abita beer tony chachere s manship theatre louisiana art science museum café du monde more phil www philsevin com fellow bloggers decline and fall wallamaarif s iraq adventures bup wethern livejournal how bup act a chronicle i have moved to brasil how akutyger move cockpit conversation how aviatrix fly other stuff entirely coldtowne www arthursimone com alamo drafthouse theater blue sky cola encounter restaurant the carl drew blues band west edmonton mall mall of america guthrie theatre walker art center sculpture garden one man star wars trilogy swing rosie primanti bros the peabody hotel gateway arch riverfront bat conservation international balletmet sequoia national park guang sheng yuan group burton snowboards san antonio riverwalk pappadeaux abc www clarencewethern com vancouver aquarium prospect point sinai divers padi the happy workers comedy for fans of profanity and violence jefferson street truly vile comedy for the impossibly strong stomached calgary sta...