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one who flys above and one who flutters within skip to main skip to sidebar one who flys above and one who flutters within kasey s sister kasey cherubs congenital diaphragmatic hernia blogs webring home forum join previous next members powered by ringsworld com this site is part of an internet site ring community hosted at world of newave previous list cdhblogsring home cdhblogsring forum cdhblogsring join next kasey s butterfly thank you rachel blog archive 2011 1 november 1 still here 2010 64 december 4 november 1 october 1 august 5 july 1 june 4 may 10 april 11 march 11 february 5 january 11 2009 61 december 7 november 18 october 11 september 10 august 14 july 1 with out my punkin with out my punkin withoutmypunkin gmail com view my complete profile followers feedjit live traffic feed feedjit live blog stats v 3e 20 tuesday november 15 2011 still here i m still here busy brooklyn keeps me busy just finished cwk my bil is out of my house has been since june kasey s birthday is tomorrow how is that 3 years its so hard to watch brooklyn and know he and i were cheated it also depresses me that she is getting bigger and older that just means farther away from my baby if anyone still reads how are you at 4 16 pm 4 comments wednesday december 29 2010 annoyed on a roll today you know when people throw their 2 sense in about how you are raising your child i hate it i have been told that bg is spoiled because i pick her up when she cries she spends too much time with me oh and they tell her to be quiet when she cries or fusses and my dad tells her time out for real what in the hell is wrong with you people just in case you forgot she is 6 months almost 7 months old not 6 years old that is how she can communicate and i am her only source of food she has had a real hard time with sleeping here on vacation and that my dad is so fucking loud that he wakes her up most times news fuck stick be a little more quiet she even has white noise in her room get hearing aids so the whole island doesn t have to hear the tv and she is a baby she cries i am so annoyed where are my ruby red shoes i sleep trained her 3 weeks before we left to go on vacation because she was waking up every 3 hours and i need my sleep it was hard for me to do i hate letting her cry i checked out i am not kidding 10 books and read up on sleeping and infants and then gave it a go it wasn t as hard as i thought it would be and she responded very well all my hard work went down the toilet when we arrived on the island the first few days she slept ok and from there on out it just got worse dh was so tired although he tells me that he hears her at home and wakes up when i do pssh please it is good for him he gets a taste as to why i am so tired most of the time if you are still reading thanks for listening to me bitch at 7 34 am 7 comments happy anniversary yesterday 12 28 was our 3 year anniversary it seems like we have been married a lot longer than 3 years though the good and too much bad we had made it another year i love you honey at 7 33 am 0 comments scary we are on vacation and let me tell you its freaking not vacation with a 6 1 2 month old any hoo i have her phil and ted travel crib http philandteds com products sleep traveller set up and the angel care monitor underneath but didnt get a piece of wood it seemed to be working with out one after surviving a week of her in our room no clue how many of you do it although i seriously considered cosleeping when she was born we have managed to revert back to our terrible sleeping habits that were formed the month before we left she doesn t go down easy and screams most nights so stressful a few nights ago after being asleep for an hour or so the monitor beeps my heart drops i look at the monitor and run for the room as i am running its beeping and vibrating the pad has not detected movement in 20 seconds holy shit this can t be happening dh and i run in the room at the same time its freaking dark and you know when you run into a room that is dark after being in a lit room you can t see i just remember hearing her scream after that music to my ears she had rolled into the corner of the crib and the mattress had lifted a bit i wish i was dorthy i need to go home this is all too much for me after my heart quit racing and we put a picture frame under her bed i put her back down again dh went and got a piece of wood so we wouldn t have anymore false alarms thus makes me think am i too dependent on this i am scared to death to have another baby die i will have to strap her down when she gets older although she might still be swaddled so we wont have that problem lol thats another post at 7 17 am 3 comments monday december 27 2010 2 years it s been 2 years 12 19 since you grew your wings it s so hard to believe i miss you more and more at 10 15 am 4 comments sunday november 14 2010 missing him it s november kasey should be 2 years old on tuesday i should be planning a birthday party instead i planned a fundraiser in memory of him a fundraiser that i put so much work and effort into and less people than last year showed up it hurts no one cares like i do people who have the shallowest pockets dig the deepest i have been hugging brooklyn tighter and loving on her more i didn t think that was possible i cry sometimes as i nurse her and watch her play with her hand or my hair i will never get to see kasey do these things it kills me if i think about it too much it hurts why this post is going to be all over the place there is a family whom i met while the cdh baby was still in the belly and he was given not much of a chance to live from the outside it seemed like she didn t really care if he lived in her mind he was already dead needless to say he is doing well and will most likely go home there have been somethings that have gone on with her that i just don t understand and can t believe it hurts me though i guess its jealousy i pleaded prayed cried screamed spent pretty much every waking moment with him read sand you name it for kasey but he didn t get to come home with me i love you punkin and miss you more than words can say at 8 15 pm 9 comments wednesday october 20 2010 its been awhile thank you for all of you who remembered kasey on saturday while you lit your candles i m still here busy as can be i am getting donations for kasey s 2nd birthday hard to believe that he has been gone for 2 years its hard knowing that i missed out on so much with him i love brooklyn to pieces but find myself looking at her and thinking about what it would be like if kasey was here its so hard i miss you punkin brooklyn is getting so big she is 19 weeks today she found out that her foot can go in her mouth yesterday its too cute i think she is left handed its so interesting how her personality is coming out the bil is still here he started a part time job and hopefully will get another job that he is applying for my husband and i fight way too much he stresses me out i am lucky enough to work for my parents so brooklyn goes with me to work everyday thus i only breastfeed her i feel there is no reason for me to be a cow pump he feels like he is not a dad bc he can t feed her there are times when he is tired or wants to watch sports center that he is less than interested in caring for her or when she fusses when he sits down its frustrating and i feel like i am super mom trying to keep the house clean cook dinner work put brooklyn down gather donations work out have a few moments to myself the last 2 dont happen everyday we survived kasey but are fighting like cats and dogs with a child who is living i really am trying to catch up with all of your blogs thinking of all of you at 8 05 pm 3 comments older posts home subscribe to posts atom kasey s butterfly thank you bree kasey s chocolate thank you jennifer kasey s angel wings thank you lea forever remembered thank you jessica i changed my font at thecutestblogontheblock com