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with resistance skip to content with resistance menu about just what i always wanted lucinda s solution greetings from the future february 12 2023 february 12 2023 nancy 1 comment remember that girl from high school the one you called horseface the one you called lardo remember that girl whose tit you grabbed whose ass you slapped remember that girl the one you sent a dick pic to remember that girl the one you photoshopped remember that girl from high school the one you called cunt hello from your surgeon hello from your dentist hello from your anesthesiologist hello from your traffic cop hello from your chef hello from your irs agent hello from your hairdresser hello from your mechanic hello from your loan officer hello fellow travelers from your pilot big november 19 2022 nancy leave a comment my father s family was big i don t mean there were lots of them though there were they were big stories were written about them and yes they were tall but they were also big they were important but only to each other they were big in 1915 the newspaper wrote about the family reunion the family is big the paper wrote of startling girth and yes that kind of big the kind you notice and write about for history my father was skinny but his ancestors were big and yes i look in the mirror and i see the family thighs the bibliophile march 13 2022 nancy leave a comment she looked up from her book it appeared that she had made dinner eaten and washed the dishes it also appeared that she d had her hair cut and acquired a cat she returned to her book listening to fools february 19 2021 february 19 2021 nancy leave a comment oh i am nothing if not agreeable i come from a long line of non boat rockers or is it boat non rockers i would never want to offend anyone by the wrong terminology or even the wrongly tilted eyebrow so i listen to those i love or at least used to love and they dump words that enrage me but i will not be enraged i summon a smile but it refuses i turn away one day i may shout wrong wrong but not today today my boat is still in its mooring moored to my desire to be loved loved not at any cost but just a little cost to my integrity that s not so expensive i think luvvie december 30 2017 may 12 2021 nancy 2 comments i fell asleep by the woodstove with my book in one hand and my mug of tulsi tea in the other by minor miracle my tea remained upright and the index finger of my left hand held my place in the story i dreamt that i had been writing the best poem i had ever written my drifting mind may have been filled with the beautiful words of the book which was my brilliant friend that must have been it i think although the poem as i recalled upon waking still not spilling the tea was about mcdonalds not moving not my finger in the book not my balanced mug i tried through a deliberate relaxed concentration if there is such a thing to retrieve the lines from the most perfect poem ever and could not i recalled that a few days prior when buying my mother and me two matching mcdoubles the server which is a nicer title than cashier for sure called me luvvie i don t believe anyone had ever called me luvvie and i told the server i hoped someone would call me luvvie at least once more before i died so besides the melodic words of my brilliant friend the mcdonalds lady could also have been the inspiration for the best poem i ever wrote while dreaming which may surpass my conscious poems if i can ever remember any of them but it also may have been french fries swing time march 21 2017 nancy 1 comment i was never much for robert frost with all that repetitive stopping by woods bs but i believe that swinging on birches might be a good aspiration swinging in general is a good idea i like a swing with a leather strap for a seat that hugs your hips and tells you it will never let you go no matter if you are swinging so high that the big hollow poles that anchor you jump right off the ground my friend doris was a great swinger with a swing set in a corner of the yard the grass worn away by the endless scrape of sneakers she d pump her feet till i swear she d do a loop dee loop right over the bar though my sisters would deny it her swing had metal seats of the kind that got so hot in summer sun we d have to wet them down with the hose taking a nice long drink too from the old rusty end and then the slippery metal would trick us if we didn t hold tight and throw us off at the top of the arc if you can t be a swinger be a pusher of swingers doris could push as richly as she swung with perfection in her placement her hands never pounding my shoulders or shoving my ass off the seat but squarely in the sweet center of my back two years ago i swung through the trees though not birches mr frost on the zipline in jamaica and i felt again the hands of my friend propel me safely into the next breeze summer 1983 october 7 2016 nancy 1 comment i ll say this much for him he had a generous bent if he had any cash at all he freely spent it on himself on me on drinks all around we played the ponies at otb if we won steak and champagne if we lost hotdogs and beer either way we laughed and ate a fearless gambler but hesitant swimmer he refused to explain miscellaneous random scars or wear the swim trunks i bought him at night we danced to david bowie marvin gaye the police his hands on my hips enhancing the sway but in truth he watched me more than touched me and in general his generosity was with my money i maxed my charge cards by summer s end our two best days were the day we met stumbling into each other in drunken lust and the day towards the end at the zoo as relaxed as giraffes where alcoholic beverages are thankfully prohibited the worst day was sitting on the kitchen floor near his unconscious wreck his sleeping face wore a mask of almost kindness almost enough to deceive me again i turned away and devised my escape but given the chance i might do it again for the weightless exuberance of life without plan and a smile from those green eyes but of course now i ve learned every breath you take is not about love but ownership alternate reality may 7 2016 nancy leave a comment let s talk about fantasies an appropriate topic i suppose for a drizzly thursday afternoon do you have any not sexual i mean too boring fantasies of a different future did you know that some of the grand mansions of newport have been divvied up into condos and you could live there you could own one sixteenth of a marble estate on bellevue interesting although she always says that when in fact it is probably not do you think about it much have you left it just a vague idea have you added the color and shadings once a week or every so often i go to real estate pages online and check the listings i like the ones with tiny white kitchens and claw foot tubs and a washer and dryer tucked away and using up the only closet and windows in crazy spots because the room was never meant to be so small but with a big old fancy staircase shared by the other folks who live alone in a piece of the palace with a cube of a fridge and a two burner stove i would walk to the market each morning to buy only what i felt like eating that very day no need for a car i d bring the dog right down the aisles because the shopkeepers would like him they d give him a biscuit and say good boy summer would buzz with decked out tourists and there d be art shows and concerts and fancy changes to menus and just when i think i can t stand the crowds for one more minute it would be autumn and everyone would go quiet again i would put on my parka and stroll the beach and the dog would bark at the seagulls when does a daydream stop being itself and start being a plan i suppose it is when you are finally ready to give up what you already have quiz april 5 2016 nancy 6 comments i ve never lost my love of personality tests multiple choice in twenty questions to indicate my compassion a minus or my loyalty d plus or my ability or lack thereof to keep a juicy secret forever an f back to september 66 seventeen magazine they had the best quizzes ever i d tear a sheet from my notebook and mark my a b c or all of the above and i d discover if my boyfriend was faithful which would be helpful once i had one or whether i had what it takes to join the peace corps or wear tabu i d toss my answers in the neighbor s trash god forbid my sister should see that i was a romantic kisser or that i was reading seventeen when i was fifteen and it was her seventeen which she was and now to my delight i can take my tests every day online and learn that my nickname should be lilypad and my aura is blue and that though agnostic my spirit guide is the goat and just today i confirmed a past life with a fine famous lover none other than manly clark gable of course that means that i was carole lombard which all makes sense because i wrote a story once where the heroine was carole with an e and though i used to think i had been edna st vincent millay who was also in a story i don t believe she ever slept with dear mr gable but to be sure i took the test again with my second best answers and gable again so there you have it peering through windows february 21 2016 february 24 2016 nancy 3 comments driving home in almost dark comfortably overfed warmed with red wine at my husband s suggestion which is not my sunday evening habit but could be i look through windows into houses as we ease by my mother s sunday habit i ve acquired yellow lit sometime television blue homes always look warm in twilight one house still brilliant with christmas lazy notes my husband i prefer to imagine an absent family member a son who soldiers overseas a sister ill in a distant city the lights stay on waiting until the family reunites posts navigation older posts follow blog via email enter your email address to follow this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email email address follow join 86 other subscribers recent posts greetings from the future big the bibliophile listening to fools luvvie swing time summer 1983 alternate reality quiz peering through windows archives february 2023 november 2022 march 2022 february 2021 december 2017 march 2017 october 2016 may 2016 april 2016 february 2016 june 2015 january 2015 december 2014 november 2014 october 2014 august 2014 july 2014 may 2014 april 2014 february 2014 january 2014 december 2013 november 2013 october 2013 september 2013 categories poetry uncategorized copyright nancy roman and notquiteold and with resistance 2011 202 unauthorized use and or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog s author and or owner is strictly prohibited excerpts and links may be used provided that full and clear credit is given to nancy roman and notquiteold and or with resistance with appropriate and specific direction to the original content create a free website or blog at wordpress com subscribe subscribed with resistance join 86 other subscribers sign me up 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