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Text of the page (random words):
ty quips sort of an oscar wilde type really often wearing women s clothes dressing up like carmen miranda with fruit on his head and lipstick to foil elmer fudd elmer fudd good lord are we blind the lisping fudd i don t buy that speech impediment cover story for an instant is a living catalog of the personality traits that southern ministers associate with gayness so bugs bunny and elmer fudd are obviously a feuding gay couple a veritable la cage aux folles of the cartoon world it s amazing any of us grew to maturity with our precious heterosexuality intact now i will admit that not every single children s character is gay some are merely satanic how anybody could watch even five minutes of the big comfy couch and not be overwhelmed by the images of sex and devil worship is a mystery you have loonette this clown girl lounging about on her sofa of indolence talking to a doll molly who acts like a living person the dead that live shades of unnaturalism in nearly every show loonette fails to please molly so obviously her master so clearly a beelzebub figure and has to try to soothe her doll s inflamed feelings because this is a family newspaper i cannot fully analyze the major bedhead character other than to mention his form revealing costume and the lubricity of his name bedhead major bed head it couldn t be any clearer if they named him mister hot sex on the sofa right now with satan what i would like to propose are some new children s shows that are not gay when you see how easily it could be done you ll realize how brainwashed we have been mr normal s workhouse enjoy processing insurance claims with joe normal who talks sports with his office mates bill pete and steve all have families children are home where they belong rev mike dagger maverick minister karate kicks and bible verses fly as father dagger manly and unashamed of it teaches his sunday school class a new lesson each week by pounding the daylights out of drug dealers liquor salesmen and any other wrongdoers spot the friendly ball spot avoids the pitfalls of most affectionate children s characters by being a simple beachball he doesn t talk doesn t sing but children love him anyway and learn important lessons like cooperation by tossing him around i could easily fly to los angeles right now and make big money by selling these ideas to television but i m not too much is at stake i m offering them freely to whoever wants them in the hopes of salvaging our beloved way of life before it s too late originally published in the sun times feb 14 1999 posted by neil steinberg at 12 00 am 9 comments email this blogthis share to x share to facebook share to pinterest saturday june 27 2026 sunlit leaf god these computer systems are maddening so thursday night my apple imac asks me in a little box in the upper right corner of the screen if i want to download the new version of the tahoe software sure why not what do i have to fear with my smokin new computer bought this year keep all the fixes and security patches up to date i hardly thought about it this morning i wake up and my photos are gone oh they re up in the cloud safe but i want them on my imac where they were yesterday so i can scroll through them at my leisure sometimes the icloud is balky and who said they could take them by what right is this the future high tech creeps in the back door and rearranges your pantry you d think human agency could make it happen and maybe it can because i dealt with a variety of robots on apple support walking me through useless stuff i d already gone through it drove me crazy that i couldn t make it work at times it seemed so close i didn t spend the day doing it but i thought about what to do a lot i m a solver a figure it outer and when things won t solve it preys on my mind okay big deal so i ll use the cloud instead of photo shrug and move on rub your smarting nose and stride toward the next rake prongs up in the grass half the readers probably won t even know what i m talking about but what galls me is apple never even asked click this button and we ll give you a day and counting trying to undo the mess we made ah well shouldn t complain look at this lovely gingko leaf backlit by the setting sun i ve passed that tree for a decade since i planted it and never saw it lit like that i handed the leash to my wife and snapped a single picture still safe up in the cloud those apple bastards a living fossil the gingko two hundred and twenty seven million years old predating the dinosaurs and not one second spent slogging through this balky computer system bullshit must be nice posted by neil steinberg at 12 00 am 32 comments email this blogthis share to x share to facebook share to pinterest friday june 26 2026 wellness doesn t just happen it requires effort consider the information you ignore the pages swiped away in a blink the emails for old fogies like us that even use email hundreds a day real fake urgent irrelevant scams skipped over with hardly a glance plus ignored text messages bulletins alerts pings i d hesitate to guess how much communication is filtered out unprocessed 90 99 99 9 it s amazing anything gets through meanwhile random stuff snags your attention it wasn t the poetry of the subject line wellness wednesday mental health and self care week 7 that hooked my interest maybe because i had just gotten an mri on my torn up left shoulder a little wellness might hit the spot and what is self care anyway it sounds almost raunchy i opened the message self care is the practice of taking care of your physical mental emotional and spiritual health wrote chicago public media human resources manager stephanie sferra bassill while many people view self care as a form of selfish indulgence prioritizing yourself is an essential component of overall well being hmm i thought let me get this straight my employer is urging me to set aside this work nonsense these bothersome interviews the endless tappity tap tap on a keyboard and just live a fuller healthier happier life well yeah i can do that where to begin for some reason i skipped the first physical health aspect and went straight for mental and emotional dialing the number of a friend i d been meaning to call isolation is a modern plague we think we re so connected by social media when we re really staring at a screen alone i got his voicemail a second friend also voicemail a third again voicemail no wonder we re all so frazzled a fourth call any guesses voicemail people really don t use the telephone anymore to continue reading click here posted by neil steinberg at 12 00 am 22 comments email this blogthis share to x share to facebook share to pinterest thursday june 25 2026 artificial intelligence overlords still a work in progress saint jerome and the angel by simon vouet my wife went to the white sox game wednesday which caused a twinge of envy both for her belonging to an office that socializes together and because the sox were playing the guardians the cleveland team it was rainy day and first thing in the morning i was concerned that the 1 10 game would be rained out so i plugged what i thought was a very simple very direct question into google is today s white sox game cancelled i didn t think it would actually be cancelled so early in the morning but it was supposed to rain all day and i was curious to reach some site that would keep me posted this is what ai served up could she have the wrong day that happens i checked the white sox schedule site nope there was indeed a game that afternoon stated bold as brass though a jillion dollars worth of ai couldn t seem to take that into account couldn t figure out if the sox had a game scheduled in a few hours or not a fairly straightforward question i know this is my self flattering bias at work ai seems to be working just fine helping students undercut the value of their educations and allowing office grinds to be fired en masse replaced by puffs of electrons up in the cloud and yes i will probably still be savoring examples of ai incompetence up to the moment the robot guards herd me into the camp but before people are going to pay money for this shit it has to at least work right forget amazing or essential or impressive or even useful this is bush league stuff posted by neil steinberg at 12 00 am 17 comments email this blogthis share to x share to facebook share to pinterest wednesday june 24 2026 it s right between shangri la and wakanda chicago public schools board member ellen rosenfeld with the state of israel being continually mugged in the court of public opinion i decided to check out monday s celebration of the nation s 78th birthday held by the consulate general of israel in chicago see how they are holding up the location was kept secret as is the israel practice a reminder that for all the menace assigned to jews they re still the ones who have to lurk in the shadows worrying about being killed which anyone who has visited europe must notice church doors are wide open for anyone to walk in off the street while with synagogues you find yourself being buzzed through one of those 90 degree security pens after being sniffed for explosives plus the prospect of disruptive protesting the we love bunnies of israel club at northwestern should one exist couldn t hold pet a soft bunny day at deering meadow without being shouted at by passersby if not organized mobs expecting something fancy i put on my blue blazer and khakis these are israelis right said my wife whose point of reference is when you could take a taxi from israel to egypt and sleep on the beach but i read the room in advance correctly some of the 500 guests actually wore neckties security had to be cleared you want to hear my torah portion i asked the stern man giving me the once over referring to the passages read at my bar mitzvah yes he said and i began to rattle off the beginning of leviticus 25 in hebrew he waved me through the first partygoer i recognized was comptroller susana mendoza i hurried over and watched her show off a photo of a map of the middle east that her son brought home from smyser elementary school where the nation that since 1948 has been known to the world as israel is labeled palestine in that odd performative denialism that some seem to imagine moves the ball of justice forward all these kids think israel is palestine because that s what they re being taught said mendoza it s everywhere i asked her if she felt strongly about israel i wouldn t be here if i didn t she said everyone should feel safe in this city it s scarier for jewish people i suppose contemplating that map i d be tempted to say with a brisk wave of the hand well look at that they have their country right there so what are you bitching about but that s callous and there s enough callousness going around without adding more harshness is the rule of the day one way to understand israel now is the former deep bench of peaceniks have been swept away by years of frustration not to forget the oct 7 massacre now they ve got the same rigid nationalists that are plaguing this country busy blowing gaza to smithereens a gift to anti zionists everywhere strange times indeed when the mayor of new york is a more vocal enemy of israel than the king of saudi arabia to continue reading click here posted by neil steinberg at 12 00 am 58 comments email this blogthis share to x share to facebook share to pinterest tuesday june 23 2026 flash eli s cheesecake makes non cheesecake cake imagine for a moment a friend says i m going to wrigley field to watch the cubs play you process this information then observe benignly it s a nice day for baseball and your friend replies oh no i m not watching the cubs baseball team but the cubs soccer team they also have a midwest premier league soccer team you d be gobsmacked right you d think how did i possibly miss that now you are in the mindset to share an experience i had this week i d mentioned in my column that it was my birthday and my friends at eli s very kindly sent a cake made me feel special but opening it i was confronted with a surprise it wasn t one of the ne plus ultra eli s cheesecakes i ve been rhapsodizing on this blog for the past 13 years next week no it was a chocolate layer cake specifically an old fashioned triple chocolate cake we served it sunday at our father s day grill out and let me tell you the results were extraordinary i want this cake at my next birthday my wife enthused twice lest i miss the hint as i sometimes do she even explained why she likes the frosting especially the frosting elaborating that this is unusual because she is generally is not a fan of frosting often with cake she skips the frosting sliding it aside too sweet but not this frosting this frosting however has that essential quality of being not too sweet i don t want to say that the consensus among my guests was that eli s is hiding its light under a bushel by making all these fine cheesecakes when it is also capable of making such a superfine magnificently dark dense and rich but not too sweet chocolate cake that is not a cheesecake but conversation unfolded among those lines they also make a tiramisu and a classic carrot cake as i learned after checking on the eli s web site curious as to whether the company actually sells this non cheesecake cake or if it is i don t know something experimental or maybe something special their bakers whipped up in a fit of whimsy just for me a hint of how my mind works and why life can be so frequently disappointing the good news is they do sell this truly excellent chocolate cake for 64 which might seem a lot but then again you have not yet tasted the cake i will also point out that they claim it serves 12 and while i would not accuse eli s of false advertising i will observe that we were 15 and we only managed to finish less than half the cake yes we were filled with my wife s superlative tilapia ceviche and flank steak and good romanian garlic dogs and potato salad that said i believe 1 12 of a cake this dense and rich and fantastic would kill any average adult after any decent meal because believe me i wanted more than anything else to dive in for more cake and kept scraping up various bits left on the plate but just couldn t physically do it that damn ozempic perhaps we froze the rest for the next happy occasion my bone deep honesty requires that i remind you that eli s does spend a fortune advertising on this blog between thanksgiving and valentine s day and the cynics among you might consider this log rolling though you would be wrong were the cake just ordinary cake were it cake consumed by my guests with an indifferent shrug and a few benign comments i am eating this cake now i would have let the experience pass unremarked upon but the twin facts that a eli s makes non cheesecake cake and b it is really very very good cake obligated me to share this exciting news with you in my capacity as a full service blogger committed to sharing with my reader...