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Text of the page (random words):
it s about christ s birth but i totally get it because i ate pressure for years while honestly not giving jesus a thought i think now with all this alone time my actions thoughts feelings are more soft and clear because i have no one to worry about or deal with but myself and for that i am thankful one of my fave holiday rubber stamps our monthly ladies luncheon was postponed last week i was looking forward to being with the girls it s funny how fast you can decorate clean your house when you have company coming lol i look around my cute touches mopped floors dusted shelves clean bathroom and think why don t i let it look like this always on the other hand i got sad one of those kinds of sad like when your parents tell you you re going to the amusement park the next day then next day we don t and that sad is still lingering i m owning it and trying to be kind to myself and this too shall pass on lighter notes good stuff whiskey blues videos are visually beautiful sexy and all that all her fault was a good one i still think about the twists were beyond freaky a choice of weapons inspired by gordon parks my photography hero he was just masterpiece genius the birth of cool merry christmas and a happy happy healthy new year at december 24 2025 no comments email this blogthis share to x share to facebook share to pinterest thursday september 25 2025 september song the harvest well here we are in the last week of september i can t even express about time flying it s an old cliche that holds endless truth in this neck of my woods we had a drought that seemed endless i loved the blue skies sunshine tolerable temps but i sure missed the rain and a good overcast day my newly planted grass again went straight to hell also hand watering the jungle of about 30 potted plants the garden on wheels the flower bed keeping the bird baths full became but it s all good i ll miss it when winter comes so the picture of the harvest produced more than i thought it was just something to try since i don t have any place to do an inground garden surprise it gave just enough for me i even got a few green peppers it was fun eating the sun kissed matoes straight off the vine with the salt shaker in hand lol childhood revisited beautiful table by dollar tree break bread together ladies luncheon 09 2025 my two sisters my niece are keeping monthly lunches each other s homes going strong omg how did we not know how much we all needed this in our lives it started w sister 2 saying last december why don t you have lunch your house for us it was one year since my guys passed away and from there it s gone full circle with my turn being in december again living in the mid west we have to make adjustments for what the weather will do since sis 2 lives an hour away so this is how the dates usually end we re full of good food drinks music medicinals conversation and so much love i m on the far right looking questionable at best lol and now i have three so i added two more guitars to my one and i couldn t be happier the total price of these two came to a whopping eighty seven dollars the mandolin was from a resale shop going out of business the second from the lady working there that casually mentioned she d sell me her daughter s brand new guitar the daughter moved to england started a band very cool i was beyond excited the mandolin is missing two strings reconstruction would be out the ass so it s just lovely decoration it s very old score a fall walk one sunday morning i walked the park near my house there s always something very beautiful there to see it s dahlia season here and they did not disappoint i was also happy to see the nature frame that lives in the gardens year round is still being decorated according the season god was everywhere otherwise everything is going okay i m abundantly blessed peaceful and thankful beyond words in december it ll be 2 years since my son and partner left earth the grief for my son will never go away and i still have uncontrollable sobs and sadness at him not being with me but i know where he is and know that i ll see him again i remember after he died then the partner i went on a weekly binge of totally clearing out the house i put so much out with the trash that the garbage guy asked if i was moving lol i wanted no trace of the partner ever having been here which is pure denial since it was over 30 years but we were so unhappy and i put my life so on hold i remodeled the bathroom myself and made everything the way i needed to make myself happy the gung ho ness of turning son s room into my craft room fell by the wayside you can t call it a craft room if you haven t crafted in a few years the lovely paint is still in the unopened cans etc i did manage to patch spackle two holes but that s it i haven t even sanded them down sometimes i wonder where am i mentally creatively seems the only thing i can accomplish is working everyday lastly i m still seeing my guy if you can call it seeing we met four years ago when he was a customer the store i was completely stricken with his kindness looks yes he grew up on a farm drove truck for 50 years and us sharing the same faith he s a caretaker to his much older wife which i totally respect and he s 11 years older than me i think when we met my son s health was spiraling and i had no support from the partner not that he partner didn t completely love my son since the age of 2 or 3 but he had no clue on how to support me in my sadness anxiousness and fear in fact he was downright harsh mean which led me to have to verbally attack him it drove the already truck sized wedge between us deeper in hindsight he was sick and afraid as well which led to his death by massive heart attack while i was at work 17 days after my son s passing i just wish we could have shared the kindness i was trying to give oh well then came my guy who was if nothing else cognizant of what i was going thru if for nothing else to let me cry sob laugh listen console pray and keep him updated on my son from the hospital to the nursing home back to the hospital and finally to the passing we don t see each other often but we talk text everyday and this is good enough for me i love my new space and my own company he came into my life in the middle of quite a storm sometimes i wonder do we really love each other like we say or was i desperate for someone gentle and or was he curious about a black woman we are totally not the same politically and there s things he never knew about my culture that makes me wonder we never talk politics i m not politically correct in any way and avoid talking it like the plague but we do share our faith it wasn t coincidence that he walked up to my counter one sunday four years ago after leaving church he s a great guy though but i hope his wife lives forever thanks for reading whoever you are happy autumn at september 25 2025 no comments email this blogthis share to x share to facebook share to pinterest labels abundance grief joy peace thankfulness tuesday august 19 2025 sweating thru august half of august is over and it has been an incredibly hot summer w little rain the grass i planted for the second year in a row has met the same demise as last year brown crunchy like my fave potato chips i guess next spring i ll try it again nothing new has been happening here i ve self diagnosed myself with fibromyalgia i have no other explanation for the aches pain i feel in my back abdomen boobs shoulders hands and feet mom suffered w these same things w no one believing her i googled if it was hereditary it is not thru a gene or anything but some other explanation i thought it would be from the physicality of my job muscle strain of lifting etc but it s more than that i ll mention it to dr cola next month but in the meanwhile i ve discovered yoga for fibro videos thanks youtube slow easy gentle stretches help big time do whatcha gotta do eh things are changing at the store i can t put my finger on it but it seems kinda bleak corporate has sent petty rules down the chain it s stolen my mojo i still show up tackle my job w both feet but the joy is leaking out like a tire w a nail in it i try my best to be chipper but most days i can t muster it kind patient and nice but my spunk is missing i work alone a lot so it s easy to be quiet and to myself hopefully this is a phase until next time at august 19 2025 no comments email this blogthis share to x share to facebook share to pinterest saturday june 21 2025 june is here happenings i turned 62 nothing big no fanfare or celebration i spent four days my sister s home about 50 miles north it was nice to get away but after four days i was ready to be back home that s the first time i ve been anywhere in years if you really count 50 miles north anywhere i planted a garden on wheels w veggies herbs and copious amounts of flowers i saved from death at the store everything looks very nice i decorated my porch in a red theme this year i don t have visitors so i pretty much enjoy it alone i ve been working a lot of hours because i don t really have anything else to do i still miss my son deeper than words can say grief if never ending even though i don t miss dwayne the thought that he died here alone while waiting on the ambulance during his heart attack hit me hard over the last couple of days heavy tears were shed i still have my guy friend i talk or text w daily i haven t seen him in the flesh but a handful of times since october 2024 another story for another day i joined substack but don t really like it lol i don t like the idea of having to pay to read folks thoughts they re truly not important to me my sister is really pushing for me to create a book and or calendar w my photos i ve been starting and not following thru for years we ll see temps humidity dew point levels are to become unbearable over the next few days i don t have my a c s in my windows so i m hoping not to be miserable for too much longer on my off day thursday i try to date myself the local museum was nice recently i haven t done anything more to the spare room that i was chomping at the bits to paint i patched a couple of holes in the wall but that s it i ll try to get on that very soon oh i m lonely at june 21 2025 no comments email this blogthis share to x share to facebook share to pinterest labels garden porch summer thoughts monday march 3 2025 march ing on well it seemed like january lasted for 75 days february lasted 2 and now march is here my town didn t get a lot of snow this winter but the temps were simply brutal i can handle cold that s what they make the big coat lovely squishy warm scarves and cute gloves for folks complained like it was something new i ve been reading over substack a lot lately and today i created a profile i don t know how often i ll write over there since i love my space here and have had it for ever but i was moved by the positivity and community and felt like i wanted to be a part of it then the introverted part of myself told me to post here my fave writer there so far is alex elle and she s created a challenge called joy spotting i think it s the coolest i didn t commit to join in but the idea is novel i ve been off work for 3 consecutive days forced vacay and it s so nurturing days off are usually thursday sunday so it s nice to wake up on my own sit in the quiet tv rarely gets turned on and let my mind wander i ve been trying to give my place the love it doesn t get when i m working and i definitely feel like it s giving me a hug back here re some joy spots from this morning new diffuser me the plants love it yes it s crooked lol i fixed it but you need much more than love the coffee station coffee sign is placemat from dollar tree i don t know why i love things that say what they are seeeee love how the rising sun lights up the jungle so do they forgot i had this putting it to work i hope you find your spots of joy daily and embrace them gratitude is an amazing feeling until next time at march 03 2025 no comments email this blogthis share to x share to facebook share to pinterest labels blessings grateful nurture photography monday december 2 2024 three hundred sixty three days did you ever know that you re my hero as surreal as it still seems my son has been gone from earth for 2 days short of a year today time has soften the blow but the wind can still be knocked from my sails at any moment at any time i let myself roll w the tide when it comes letting myself cry until i m short of breath w a blinding headache then once it passes i always thank god for his master plan for taking away all suffering and for blessing me by letting me borrow this sweet soul for 36 years he changed my life in ways that are too numerous to count i always like to say he raised me instead of me raising him so much truth to that my usual day off is thursday but this week it ironically falls on wednesday the 4th which is the day james took jesus hand and off to heaven they went it s been hard to kick memories of him leaving me and how bad it was but my heart has learned to be still know that god orchestrates all things for the good i know james is in a wonderful place doing wonderful things and is filled w happiness joy that pretty much gets me thru each day so on that note i don t know how i will honor my love 2 days from now but whatever it is it will be done with love thanks for reading at december 02 2024 5 comments email this blogthis share to x share to facebook share to pinterest labels blessings god grateful grief thursday october 10 2024 glory in the humdrum fall is here happiness is a tiny waffle maker nerve soothing sha mo lee as a friend calls it lol glow on the mantle plus one of my girls the choleus on the patio continues to grow huge in the fall air throws are mandatory always happy everything happy on the line in the wind no better smell ever breakfast courtesy of the tiny waffle maker besides twinkle lights tea candles are my 2nd love a perfect stranger this is my girl charlie i met in the park on a photo walk i m in love she s so beautiful just one of the hibiscus that continues to give me love temu is like crack lol so many cool things let it be is my go to i m a mum hoarder as opposed to letting die the store because of lack of water i think everyone should always have posies in a vase for smiling purposes enjoy whatever season you are in there will be hard seasons quiet seasons turbulent seasons let god carry you through ride on the wings of the eagle seek observe listen and be grateful to god for all things in jesus name i pray amen in this season i struggle to find joy i found this prayer and it lifted my heart reminding me to count my blessing which are too numerous to actually count even thru the times when sit alone in the quiet nap to escape neglect self care i still need to fight the fog to find joy the pictures above alone are just small reminders of how good life really is and i am thankful at october 10 2024 no comments email th...