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Text of the page (random words):
longer pissing on the floor my sister and brother in law brought a new baby boy into our family and the counselor and kiyotoe are preparing to welcome a little tyke of their own but change for the better is good and sorely needed and what better way than to establish some new year s resolutions i ve come to the realization that i never ever stick to mine so i m pledging to finally maintain some consistency so here we go resolution 1 politics like the relatively slim majority of america and most of my friends except hollow man i voted for barack obama this election cycle and honestly i m still in disbelief that he actually got elected when i was in high school my boy pj predicted that our generation would be the one that would elect the first black president i probably called him a liar in my teenaged head not to be rude but because i didn t believe that america would be ready for that type of revolutionary idea in my lifetime so ok pj you were right and i ll be the first to admit it even if you probably don t even rememeber that conversation so far i ve been impressed by how well obama has handled the pressure and he s doing it far better than the current lame duck in charge but the work is just beginning considering all the fucked up shit he s got to repair news flash wait wait did anyone see that reporter throw his shoes at bush over the weekend that shit is heeeelarious apparently just showing someone the soles of your shoes is considered offensive in the arab world and throwing your shoes akin to telling your mother to go fuck a donkey so i guess that shows how much people really appreciate mr bush s idea to liberate iraq ok back to the story i like obama a lot and think he s going to be good for the country however i don t see obama as the savior many people see him as he s still a politician who thinks like a politician but wants to be viewed as a person who thinks like the rest of us i really hope he s the rarest of politicians who really has the people in mind when he makes decisions that affect us though skeptical my political resolution is to put more faith in the political system and hope that the changes we voted for are real resolution 2 communication i mentioned to a friend of mine the other day that the more ways they come up with for us to communicate the less people actually communicate and it s soooo true we have text messaging email facebook myspace skype fax and instant messaging but we re steadily losing our ability to actually talk to one another while driving down the street last week i saw this small group of teens walking and all of them were on their cell phones talking to other people back in our day if we were in a small pack we d be talking to each other about something instead of chatting it up with someone else what the fuck i was introduced to facebook almost two years ago before it was the haven for the people who want to find their former classmates and i thought it was bullshit another myspace if you will which is still shyte if you ask me this year i got back into the facebook phenomenon and i was pleasantly surprised to find tons of folks i hadn t seen in years i went through my wow phase after reconnecting with dozens of people who i d lost contact with you know the whoa i haven t seen that face in years mode and now facebook has completely lost its lustre after a few quick two and three line conversations with folks i went to high school with there s nothing more to say really i ve been the last to write so many people who haven t written me back and with a few exceptions it s clear we shouldn t have gotten back in touch in the first place not that it hurts my feelings or anything but it s not surprising that we lost contact way back when because we probably didn t have too much to say to each other way back when anyway my communication resolution for 2009 is to actually see more of my friends in person rather than just communicate via phone email and text messages this coffeeshop and the conversations i m overhearing are making me nostalgic for the days where i actually looked a person in the eyes when we spoke by the way nic i m still waiting for you to facebook me is that what it s called you know i m still planning a mission to whereveryoulive saskatchewan one of these days resolution 3 habits all my life i ve been relatively lazy and if i don t feel like doing something it won t get done my mom used to get mad because she d tell me to take out the trash and i d forget because i didn t feel like doing it at the moment i think i still have a couple bruises from the aftermath of my forgetfulness ahhhh fuck it i m not changing on this one bruises or not resolution 4 eat more butter my personal struggle this year has been a doozy those of you closest in proximity to me know the deal and those of you not in atlanta will know of it one day check my facebook page for more details in about six months ok ok i m just kidding anyway this particular struggle has made me realize the frailty of life and that everything can change in an instant don t worry i m not dying so i m living life in a way like i never had before i m eating more butter what the fuck you ask well put it like this butter represents the best and worst of the culinary experience butter is the most fattening condiment you can find this side of a fatal heart attack but it makes everything it touches taste better breakfast lunch or dinner the mo butter the mo better it tastes and there is no way around that i used to put just a dribble of butter on my toast fearing my heart will give out at any moment from overexposure fuck it i say if i die of a heart attack tomorrow because my arteries are clogged with buttery goodness it might just be worth it bring it on sexy little land o lakes indian lady who s your daddy resolution 5 try one new beer every week i m not much of a drinker but michelle and i found this new local beer bar called the porter beer bar that has 5 times more beer on the menu than food items not an exaggeration and you can sample beers before you buy i ve found a few new brews that i like a lot and a few that taste like bar b qued goat testicles rolled in mud but i can at least say that i tried it the nasty beer not the muddy goat testicles high gravity beers are the best and considering that i might keel over any minute from a buttery asphyxiation a good tasty brew will give my transition a nice buzz so for all my fellow sufferers of 2008 you know who you are we re moving on to greener pastures and greater things in the new year anything short of civil war has to be better than this shit so on the count of three we ll all say fuck off to 2008 so long farewell au revoir kiss my grits biyatch ready one two threeeeeee fuc wait ohhhh my heart my heart call 9 1 1 i ve had too much butter posted by paz y amor at 3 48 pm 16 comments friday october 10 2008 when i was younger one of the first movies my dad took me to was called seven samurai i m a little shaky on the details but more or less it was about a group of seven noble japanese warriors hired to defend a town from some evil henchman and his army of evil bastards what i remember most was how in the face of overwhelming odds they were able to beat back the maurading hoard and attain victory and honor even to this day i still love old samurai movies especially zatoichi the blind swordsman mainly for the unrealistic scenarios the heros find themselves in for instance one samurai movie i saw recently had this amazing scene with a guy armed with nothing more than the clothes on his back and a bamboo stick running for his life from a mass of 30 some odd attackers armed to the teeth with swords and knives this guy was trapped in a forest surrounded by sword wielding pursuers swinging his little stick wildly as he desperately tried to keep his blood and guts inside his own body after a few minutes of ducking and dodging wouldn t ya know it his ass gets away somehow as you watch a scene like that in the back of your mind you can t help but say bullshit if this was imperial japan his ass would have been skewered and diced quicker than a side of waffle house hashbrowns but then you remember it s hollywood or at least the japanese version of hollywood and the reality of a scene is only as authentic as the director s vision so why is it that this asshole can t understand that he s not living in a japanese samurai movie almost fifteen years ago he gets arrested for the murder of his ex wife and her boy toy and in the face of overwhelming odds mounds of evidence and the opinions of a divided nation regarding his guilt he gets acquitted a year later an intelligent person would realize that the fates were giving them a second chance and a warning to keep their fucking nose clean for the rest of their life but noohoohooooo not oj he goes and gathers a few friends to help him rob some guys of sports memorabilia all because he thinks he can tempt fate twice i knew as soon as he got arrested in las vegas after the incident that he had no chance of getting off a second time and sure enough he s going down now in all honesty part of me feels a bit sorry for him because he was actually trying to get some stuff back that was in fact his but something in his brain should have told him to do a proverbial cutback that he s so famous for and rethink his actions you know a little wait a second i know folks are pissed that i got off for knifing my ex maybe i need to chill out and just let it go after all it s just stuff the irony of it all is that in reality the jerseys footballs and whatever else seemed so important to him at the time really don t mean shit right now considering the rest of his future is looking like it will be spent behind the stone walls of some nevada prison sleeping butt nekkid for his new roommate bruno as jurior bush said fool me once shame on you fool me twice fool me can t get fooled again or something like that much like our president oj will be remembered not as the brave samurai that got away in the face of overwhelming odds but instead he ll be remembered as the idiotic samurai who brought a bamboo stick to a sword fight and is expecting to win you can only get away with so much in this life and un fortunately oj and junior had to learn this lesson the hard way there s your sleepin nekkid reference wooz let s see if it works nic where are you posted by paz y amor at 4 59 pm 7 comments tuesday september 23 2008 wtf yes it s that time again and ain t dis some bullshit the u s economy is officially on welfare as most of you have found out already the government is planning on injecting 700 billion dollars of our hard earned tax money into the economy to stave off further damage from the failing housing crisis bankrupted financial institutions and high priced oil from hurricanes katrina rita ivan ike turner larry moe curley tito michael gustav and liberace i understand the highs and lows of the economy and things often go sour from time to time but what the fuck man i knew back in april when the p p president was sending out checks left and right to make us feel better about the economy that shit was bad but what the fuck and you know it s bad if i have to say that shit twice if only a 600 bribe could make people feel better about the shitty state of things and make us forget that folks making good money are actually struggling these days for months our fearless read pussified leaders have been telling us that the economy is sound but there s no way these jackasses can talk around this one to keep from having this proverbial ship capsizing we have to buy a bunch of worthless assets from ourselves and hope that it stabilizes things who s bright idea was that to quote my boy hollowman the banking crisis falls directly in the lap of the banks who made ridiculous loans and we re bailing them out for all the trouble they ve caused must be nice to have good friends like that but here s my thing 1 how the fuck can you just pull out 700 billion from the national asshole without some major economic whiplash down the line 2 with the value of the american dollar hovering just above the candian dollar and sliding down faster than britney spears career and mental faculties what is the incentive for our global partners to keep investing in us when shit repeatedly hits the fan 3 when china actually decides to stop loaning us money and here s my paranoid conspiracy theorist coming out what is going to stop a billion chinese people from getting in boats to come collect hmmm and to top it all off c n n reported that the fbi is investigation fraudulent activities within four of the muthafuckin financial institutions congress is plannning on bailing out i m not holding my breath for any indictments cause i m positive the hearings will go a little something like this http www youtube com watch v u5nqepe6u2u feature related some would say pointedly well no shit and i can t agree more speaking of a no shit moment clay aiken is officially gay and out the closet ok so who didn t know this some eight years ago what the fuck i m not going to claim that i have the best gaydar in the world i mean i didn t know woozie was gay until he said it fooled again doggonnit but there was no mistaking clay second place aiken while some guys are able to be a little ambiguous about their sexual orientation and some even come across as sports watchin wraslin high fivin booty chasin strip club patronzin mens men straight guys enough stereotypes for ya others however just have homosexual man written right across their powdered foreheads and this guy is one of them i have to admit that i was a little surprised when i read that he had a kid thinking to myself hmmm that s odd isn t he gay but hey i m the last person to say that a gay man wouldn t make a good dad or shouldn t have kids frankly i m happy for anyone who has the courage to tell society to fuck off and reveal themselves to the public like that but again i just have to ask why is an obviously gay man coming out new s i mean if mike tyson or mick jagger were to admit that they re gay then that s news speaking of new s remember my hero deborah jeanne palfrey she s back from the dead my girl dj palfrey was known as the dc madam and for a time literally had washington s vip s by the balls all because she was threatening to release her dirty black book of numbers to the public she ran a high priced escort service that catered to the elite in our nation s capitol and had all kinds of government officials shitting themselves in my first entry about her i joked that you don t fuck with folks in government unless you can get away with it sadly as i wrote in my second entry in may of this year she was found dead in florida an apparent suicide victim i never once believed she died by her own hands obviously but now like a good tupac conspiracy theory i don t think she s even dead in fact i believe she s alive and well after beating the system of good ol ...