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limate there both political and meteorological my leisure to sit drawing flowers in a backyard was bought with my disability because i cannot work in the larger economy i have time to explore the production of art those flower species do grow natively in our part of california but those particular examples were cultivated not weeds but instead the prized small meadow behind a 2m house tracing and drawing those flowers makes their transient forms concrete and more permanent i prefer to work on site as close as possible to where i cut the plants when i work with their shadows the length and character of the traced outlines is specific to the time and place they grew working outside as the plants do grappling with wind and clouds as the plants do i feel kinship with my tiny cousins the subset of available flowers is also specific to time and place many wildflowers are highly perishable and difficult to transport this art can only be made in that place then the art can bring that place to other observers across space and time when i came across ivan argote s site specific installation descanso at the venice biennale this week i wanted nothing more than to do the same thing with those plants i m going to send this post to a few people with a request for access to do this wish me luck post title from tom petty s nearly perfect song wildflowers categories uncategorized permalink october 23 2024 by yarnivore 0 comments it doesn t matter when you bloom just as my garden is made of other gardens so too my garden writing i have been reading folks talking about gardens even before i had my own garden may sarton s books about her little house in vermont gave me the idea that gardening had emotional and intellectual relevance which i had not noticed yet i was about 20 jamaica kincaid thalassa cruso michael pollan wendell berry bell hooks writing about continuity and place how plants get us to move them all around the world right now i m planning to move some plants and it s an extraordinary comfort a deep in my bones reminder that i m in a different story now with agency and resources the willow and self heal and purple sage that volunteered in this yard get to come along to a new one the pineapple sage bill grew from a neighbor s cutting will be so happy to go in the ground so it can get properly huge the sages i bought on my last trip to annie s which seemed like a possible folly will now we hope have homes next to nytthus where they can be delightful xeriscaping i m bringing a huge healthy jade that we rehabilitated bill went to pick up some free pots and a very sad jade was on offer as well its glossy leaves and wee buds attest that it s currently thriving it s nearly to my shoulder it was so hard to grow jade in brooklyn this level of success would be impossible without infrastructure whereas here it looks easy my thriving might look easy to an outsider a newcomer and yet every second of contentment i m able to appreciate these days was very hard won i know with appalling specificity how terrible one s life can become what a joy to contemplate the opposite some plants and fish are limited in size by their immediate environments but when they are given abundant resources they can really take off i wonder what it might be like to live in a house with so many rooms so much space so much opportunity to grow into who i am and who we are who will i be with almost no artificial constraints myself just more so is my guess and plan for as long as we get this grand chance may bill and i be able to wring as much happiness and satisfaction from it as humanly possible post title from secret sisters sweet song late bloomer it doesn t matter when you bloom it matters that you do annie s annuals rip and we hope someday long live annie s as it rises from the ashes categories uncategorized permalink september 23 2024 by yarnivore 0 comments ask me what i learned from all those years 9 22 24 it s becoming increasingly difficult to deny that my life is a fantastic fairy tale of course another less balmy narrative could start up at any moment and perhaps already has since i live this fairy tale life in the 100 real world so i should take this breather to tell it thus once upon a time when i was heartbreakingly young i ran headlong into a villain my life to that point had not included any men of his type and i was relatively defenseless through shameless manipulation he lured me from my studies selfishly misused my talents and sucked very nearly every bit of life out of me to fuel his own pursuits it was a classic misuse the muse story of the sandman 17 version one of the places that gave me life through those terrible years was my garden on the grounds of a house built in 1847 with the help of a professional gardener for advice and a small library of reference books for raw knowledge he and i built a garden it would be wrong of me to suggest that it was only my garden solely but it was absolutely mine a bit of land that absorbed my blood and sweat and tears as gardens do the ensorcelment lasted for over six years but i eventually broke the spell and found what was left of myself and made my escape the way i know this to be a fairy tale who but a fairy tale villain would behave this despicably he refused to let me take anything from my garden nothing no cuttings or transplants no seeds or bulbs nada it takes real effort to be so stingy about a garden it is a perversion of gardening in my opinion which is fitting given the perpetrator because my life is at least in some tellings a fairy tale his attempt to keep me from my garden backfired i mean he clearly succeeded on some metrics i did not take and do not have anything whatsoever from that garden that is tangible and his villainy really did hit me where it hurt one of his superpowers however because fairy tale very nearly every person who has been fool enough to cross me who has had the temerity to keep things from me gardens knowledge companionship with others even my home has been thwarted spectacularly in this case gardens riches started pouring in immediately the friends who took me in let me tend an herb garden out front another friend shared her community garden plot and taught me about vegetable gardening my psychiatrist gave me a start from his exquisite jade plant and the first official act f and i set our names to when i landed in nyc a membership to the brooklyn botanic garden the message was unmistakable that guy would deny you even a fraction of his of an acre here have 52 it wasn t just that first year though my life has been filled with gardens and plants shared over the years this morning fall equinox walking around my garden gathering a bouquet to make art with got me onto this topic this little bouquet has three kinds of sage a purple one i found on the property a red one that was a gift from a friend and an electric blue sage i bought at berkeley hort i ve seen hummingbirds drink from all three in my yard the marigold i grew from seeds i saved from last year s ofrenda two kinds of california poppies i have 5 or 6 in my front yard in a postage stamp sized meadow pink and white and orange cosmos all from seeds i saved from last year mint and purple basil flowering i love seeing their square stems and knowing they are kin the seed stalks are clarkia and a native local abutilon and self heal which showed up in my yard after i started telling folks that my abuelita was a curandera and which i just discovered is also a lamiaceae cousin the bouquet picked this morning embodies this day this place i ve arranged it in a dark blue heath ceramics bud vase and i love that the pottery is also local i ve already made a bunch of art documenting it photos shadow tracings and i ll make more watercolors pen and ink drawings i could even write a multi book series transcendence of things past about this particular bouquet and how it comes to be that i live alongside these plants but i m pretty sure i ve already exceeded the good bits version length for this morality tale so i should wrap it up my garden now is made of other gardens and it makes yet more i share my seeds and starts and cuttings i choose to live in an abundant world the villain of our story today stole some particular plants and made a small patch of ground off limits to me and by doing so showed me the door to every other garden and pointed me towards finding real home which was inside me all along it s hard to even be mad he chose to be small and mean and i have chosen to be vast and kind its own intrinsic reward in every present moment honestly i hope that garden continues to be thriving may it grow lush and be a constant reminder of what was squandered by his villainy as for myself your loving narrator well i don t know about living happily ever after that s only in real fairy tales and i am decidedly human and mortal but i have the capacity for joy and awe and transcendence at any moment the love of a small army of friends and lovers and relatives and many gardens full of endless treasures and knowledge where i am welcome that s a fairy tale reward if i ever heard one it s my intention to appreciate every drop and crumb of this good fortune and to find ways to use it to benefit others living well turns out to be the legit best revenge people who don t treat me well don t get to stay in this ongoing story that s it seems like just punishment to me and all i have to do to enact it is to let old bad stories go i resign my role as the implementor of past villains dastardly schemes nb refusing a personal invitation to see someone s ofrenda is rude post title from the fine taylor swift song karma categories uncategorized permalink september 18 2024 by yarnivore 0 comments i want you to hear my story and be a part of it 9 16 24 when i say my life often feels like a novel a magnificent picaresque romance this is the kind of thing i mean this morning i drove over to o avenue in richmond to look at a house for sale it is a 30 sec walk from where i lived on c avenue with the friends who took me in 8 years ago one of those friends bought that house in fact it s a 2 min walk to the entrance of the ohlone greenway it s adorable and there is a treehouse i drove away musing about where i might volunteer and guerilla gardening some open spaces and just how big a thorn in chevron s side i might choose to become from there to catahoula coffee on san pablo avenue which began its existence as the camino de la contra costa the opposite shore from the presidio and which is an extraordinary urban sociology laboratory for its entire length i came specifically for one of my favorite decadent treats a mexi mocha a mocha with cinnamon i got to chatting with the manager and said they should sell stickers he said oh no here and pulled an arm s length of them off the roll they seal bags with them in thanking him i explained that i am from louisiana and that my father grew up in jonesville which is in catahoula parish he s heard something like that before i m guessing from his smile and he told me about the owner and his four catahoula curs turns out there is a woman in richmond ca who breeds catahoula curs as search and rescue animals i honestly couldn t make this stuff up if i tried so i m thinking maybe i ll try a little harder to document some of it xoxo rosa post title is a line from the lovely boygenius song without you without them categories uncategorized permalink november 2 2022 by yarnivore 0 comments something s gained in living every day if you would like to spend about half an hour contemplating aging and impending death with several versions of a beautiful song i seem to have you covered the footnotes are partly for me but also i showed this to a friend who copyedits over and over again these last weeks i ve been seeing various situations i ve been in from different angles in some cases it s because there is a factual thing going on in which i have a different role than i did the last time i was in that story other times it s been a song or someone else s story that comes into different focus as i told my friend f when i was asking for their thoughts on all the connections i was seeing apophenia turned to 11 it s fun but it is a lot help it s as apparently trite as the song both sides now but that song is not trite that song is profound and heartbreaking when i hear joni sing it as a young woman with her clear high pitched voice i find the song is precocious and bittersweet even at 26 her wisdom was shining out https genius com joni mitchell both sides now lyrics i actually first heard it sung by judy collins and although collins herself has grown on me over the years the horrible bouncy electronic harpsichord in this recording at that tempo made joni s compelling specific original lyrics feel rote to me hearing seal sing it at joni s 75th birthday concert i was openly weeping in the theater his phrasing the instrumentation the gravity of his performance all contributed to an elegiac mood so many things i would have done but clouds got in my way when he spoke directly to her across the concert hall i felt like i had snuck a glimpse at their private life so beautiful https www youtube com watch v k3j2nqedf2g joni performing it at newport this year had me straight up ugly crying i ve seen the recording several more times now and i no longer sob or weep so hard i have to stop the video but that has happened a couple of times i find it s actually more cathartic if you keep watching while you cry fyi ymmv joni mitchell many of us thought she was done she was a lovely old lady who came out to various events was praised didn t say much had horrifying health problems but joni in 2022 has significantly recovered from a stroke that ruined her hands among other things she can play guitar again she relearned her own songs by watching videos of herself playing the songs she performed at newport this year her first public performance in twenty years it was an emotional performance and viewing experience from the get go but when she sang the lines and now old friends are acting strange they shake their heads they say i ve changed well something s lost and something s gained in living every day she knocked every bit of breath out of me i was not alone i ve seen many accounts of people saying that was the actual second that their tears started more than one friend and nearly every asshole on the internet has mentioned wynonna judd fidgeting during the concert when she wasn t actively singing she looks so uncomfortable at times well wynonna s mama naomi judd shot herself in the head the night before she and wynonna were to be inducted into the country music hall of fame just under three months before newport naomi judd was depressed and frantic and miserable she decided to kill herself rather than be seen in front of her peers and fans looking older or fatter or lower voiced or crazy or when i see wynonna watching joni i see a woman thinking to herself mam...