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Text of the page (random words):
ling ridiculously lucky to be exactly where i was 8 the most speechless moment my stomach lurching and my mind clouding over as a first grade girl casually informed me her friend would not be at school for a while because she had a broken hand after a beating from her mother 9 the most moving moment miss rose taking my hand and leading me up to the alter during the last hymn at my very last jamaican church service and all our strong unified voices singing together my strength renew my home restore lord i m coming home i m not a particularly religious person but in that moment my whole body felt on fire with a connection to something far bigger than myself 10 the most spectacular moment wispy clouds curling around the full moon and then both clouds and moon disappearing to make way for the sun at blue mountain peak jamaican kids say the darndest things posted on january 16 2014 by happydancecat standard 2 when ya gonna take off your colour i can t take it off but you re in jamaica now girl you got a real good shape and your hips sway real good when you is walking me ummm okay thanks i have someting real important to tell ya mermaids is real i sawed it with me eyes on the computer but me don t tink they are in jamaica or maybe they just real good at hiding when me go to the beach so ya live in a mansion full of computers in america nope your mother and father do nope ya know someone that has a mansion nope looking very sceptical is ya even from america nope ohhh well in america all de people have mansions full of computers so dat s where i m going you a come my mansion and use one computer if ya want boy miss he keeps licking me me that s gross why is he licking you boy not with his tongue miss me what then what is he licking you with boy his hand miss like this slaps other boy other boy miss he keeps licking me miss you will be our teacher every day no just today you re too busy well yes and also you already have a teacher she s just sick today she can be sick forever adventure is a path posted on january 15 2014 by happydancecat standard reply my jamaica by numbers posted on january 14 2014 by happydancecat standard 5 153 days at least 153 cups of coffee one broken overused coffee machine thousands upon thousands of bananas thirty three carefully rationed power bars one heavenly handful of honeycomb straight from the beehive twenty eight cups of chai tea five jamaican cooking lessons 150 probiotic tablets six rolls of deodorant 316 baby wipes four cans of dry shampoo eleven books 172 crossword puzzles fourteen tv shows three days without water eight days without electricity one night without gas to cook and one fire hastily built in the backyard using cardboard and notepaper sixty eight hikes up the mountain 10 straight hours of hiking through the night to see one sunrise at the blue mountain peak three randomly acquired cats stella will always be number one one lost puppy found and loved eight little seeds that actually sprouted twenty four beautiful children eager to learn to read one crazy intense unpredictable life changing adventure the saddest day posted on january 12 2014 by happydancecat standard 24 i have had many sad days over the last six months days of intense loneliness like i have never experienced in my life days of feeling heartbroken and helpless about children s dire life circumstances days of feeling despised degraded and fearful but today is the saddest day my beautiful little puppy my ray of sunshine in amongst so many dark clouds passed away in my arms this morning he had been sick for four days he had eaten something or caught a bug could not eat or drink and eventually couldn t move except to vomit up blood all i could do was wish his pain away and hope that it would pass quickly one way or another buddy was the best dog ever obviously he was the cutest dog i mean just look at him but he was also a good dog without any training at all he immediately came when i called him followed at my heels wherever i went even up epic mountains with his tiny lickle legs and stopped still behind me when there was a car or motorcycle passing by he was also a brilliant judge of character he instantly loved all my favourite people while growling his scariest baby dog growl at the super sleazy men he was gentle and playful with the children he was the perfect blend of courageous explorer and cuddly friend always equally enthusiastic about an outdoor adventure or curling up on my lap he did the ecstatic whole body wiggle and showered my toes with kisses every time he saw me even if i ve only been away for ten minutes until the last few days when all he could manage was a tiny wag of his tail and then today when he could not move at all i had been preparing myself all along that he was not mine to keep that all too soon i would have to say a forever goodbye i knew i had only a couple of months to love bomb him with a lifetime s worth of nurturing cuddles nourishing food and friendship he was a jamaican dog this was his home where he was meant to be i knew we were lucky we found each other if only for a while he had already been through much trauma in his little life losing his mother and being all on his own he was so strong and resilient locals told me once i left buddy would become just like any other dog around here all skin and bone and savagery it seemed undeniable when i saw the house he was meant to go to the concrete slab where their other dog was chained up painfully thin and barking ferociously at anyone that walked by i could not allow myself to imagine buddy there could not fathom him losing his curiosity his openness his joy i had to believe that maybe if i gave him enough love now he would remember what it is to be protected and cared for and his spirit would remain unbroken and now it will perhaps he was never meant to make it he will not have to ever live without love his short life was filled to the brim with it scratches behind the ears the way he liked belly rubs that sent him straight into blissful sleep adventures with me to the river or the schools splashing through streams and scrambling over rocks and feeling the lush grass under his paws the tough new jamaican cat is not a big crier say what now yep strange but true but as buddy gave one last whimper and fell still my tears fell down on his little body like rain i cried for myself at the injustice of him being taken from me the one piece of happiness jamaica had given me and i cried for him for the pain he had suffered and the beautiful spirit that had not had a chance to live a full life i lifted his limp little body back onto his pillow half the stuffing torn out as a stark reminder of when he was full of energy and mischief then came those long surreal moments when every sound and object seems simultaneously clearer and further away time disappeared and for several slow heartbeats it seemed like it was not possible to go on without him and then something i read in ashley judd s memoir all that is bitter and sweet an incredibly inspiring book about how she coped with losing a beloved pet came back to me i called tennie in the depths of my pain and when i was able to calm down a bit she asked me what is the lesson percy came to teach you the answer clearly is unconditional love totally beautifully unflinchingly focused on that one person of course buddy came to teach me the same thing we have both given and received total beautiful unflinching unconditional love to and from one another when we each needed it most i wish i was able to call my own tennie wish i had a friend to sit with me in this pain but as with all the heartbreaking things i have experienced here i know i must bear this on my own there is injustice in that too but also acceptance there is justice in a beautiful puppy living just long enough to soak up a lifetime of love perhaps buddy did not live the true length of his life but he certainly lived the width of it my heart will hurt for a long time knowing this sweet little creature is no longer on this earth but he is one boy i will never ever regret giving my whole heart to top 5 repeatable jamaican pick up lines posted on january 10 2014 by happydancecat standard 8 1 taxi boyfriend 2 if you don t marry me how else will i live in america 3 you need to have many children and you must do it quickly because you are running out of time i can help you 4 singing all i want for christmas is youuuu white ladyyy 5 you think i tell all white ladies they are beautiful probably no no no if i see an ugly white lady i don t say she is beautiful i only say i want to marry her i always tell the truth that s why we should be together the list of reasons why i am here revisited posted on january 8 2014 by happydancecat standard 4 during my first few overwhelming weeks in jamaica i was constantly fighting the urge to jump on the soonest plane out of here so i wrote a list of reasons why i came here in the first place five months on and with only a few weeks left of this crazy journey that feeling has never gone away but looking back how do the reasons that brought me here hold up 1 my instincts have never lead me astray the jury is out on this one i once had a navman that would emphatically tell me to take a sharp left hand turn when i was in the middle of the sydney harbour bridge or go the wrong way down a one way street i have spent much of my time here thinking my instincts were about as helpful as that malfunctioning little tom tom dragging me into the most challenging situation of my life and then giving me the constant uneasy feeling that i was completely lost but as always my internal little pollyanna believes my instincts had must have had good reasons for bringing me here and they will reveal themselves in time 2 letting go of first world problems definitely i know that without a doubt one of the hardest parts of coming home will be sympathising with problems that are just not really problems at all 3 using my powers for good boom this has been the only part of this experience that felt instantly right i have truly loved almost every minute spent teaching and it has reinforced that children should always be a part of my life no matter where i am in the world 4 i am all i need wrong i couldn t have been more wrong yes i have become far stronger and more self reliant than i even thought possible but this experience has taught me that no one is or should ever strive to be an island i have learned the hard way that human connection is the most important part of life having mutual support and understanding open conversations laughter shared experiences and a safe place to fall are absolutely essential to happiness i will never again take any of these things for granted 5 expanding my perception of this wonderful world of course i have certainly seen some amazing places and experienced some incredible things i can t say i have been immersed in a different culture as such because although i have tried to embrace the different way of life i have always been acutely aware that i am an outsider and often an unwanted intruder still my mind has undoubtedly expanded in ways it never would have had i stayed at home 6 you can call me cucumber well and truly achieved almost everything i see and hear is confronting or confusing in some way a taxi driver swigs straight rum at 8am as he hurtles around clifftop roads a terrified child is beaten by their teacher for getting an answer wrong if i was to get flustered at every strange or scary situation i would be in a constant fluster much easier to get flustered at nothing at all and just roll with the crazy punches 7 an attitude of gratitude i have never been more thankful for all incredible the blessings in my life the small things washing machines real coffee good music delicious food as well as the big my endlessly supportive and loving friends and family my home country that is relatively safe and full of opportunities 8 getting back to basics check and check sure i daydream about washing my hair in a warm shower and having long brunches with several campos cappuccinos and i spend way way too long considering which colour of converse sneakers i will buy when i touch down in la but i know i can do perfectly well without any of these things i love the serenity of bathing in the river the freedom of never looking in the mirror and the ease of wearing whatever clothes are clean i love having no deadlines no real schedule and no compulsive need to constantly check facebook and gmail 9 a life without ground hog days you can say that again nothing ever goes to plan here if there even is a plan and there is never ever a dull moment a lost puppy wanders into your yard a group of children arrive on your doorstep to shelter from the torrential rain the electricity goes out the bus breaks down the cat gets trapped in your house when you go away for the weekend and leaves many surprises for your return maybe its not always the good kind of exciting but if you re going to live the width of your life you can t pick and choose what excitement gets thrown your way you can only be thankful you re not living a life of total comfort complete safety and utter boredom 10 international bffs i have met some truly lovely people on this journey who have showed me so much kindness and warmth smiley sunny who provides me with an endless supply of exquisite fruit miss rose who brings slices of cake and green bananas rasta brother george who gives me bags brimming with plantains and freshly picked spearmint leaves for tea the always entertaining neighbours who come by to play uno or practice their latest dance move or magic trick the beautiful dryland tourist who has provided answers to my endless jamaica questions and lots of laughs and girl talk over jerk chicken or devon house ice cream the dedicated passionate teachers who tell me they can see how the children are improving after my lessons and they are so thankful i am here i am thankful they are here and will continue to be here for the children long after i m gone doing the one drop like a whitey and other random skills jamaica has given me posted on january 2 2014 by happydancecat standard 3 destroying wasps nests cooking green bananas callaloo plantains and ackee sleeping through blaring reggae or dance hall music so loud it rattles the windows knowing when a goat is about to charge and how to walk past it without serious injury sorting and storing rubbish so that it does not get strewn around the garden by mongeese prioritising when there is only enough water to either a wash the dishes b flush the toilet c have a drink d shower understanding basic patwai and occasionally managing to convince people i understand a lot more than i actually do responding effectively to every second male who has a long list of reasons why i must either sleep with or marry him knowing there is a significant difference between whitey and browney and feeling ridiculously accomplished...