Meta tags:
description=Behold! I have had a thought. Click to read Young Vulgarian, by Marie Le Conte, a Substack publication with thousands of subscribers.;
author=Marie Le Conte;

Headings (most frequently used words):

do, you, have, as, young, vulgarian, know, who, am, what, burnham, this, pornstar, and, in, common, the, great, heatwave, lament, hearts, starve, well, bodies, goddammit, some, notes, towards, cringe, left, behold, had, thought, hello, column,

Text of the page (most frequently used words):
the (90), and (83), that (28), for (18), but (16), this (14), have (14), about (12), with (12), day (12), some (11), all (11), had (11), time (11), heat (10), just (10), what (10), every (10), when (10), was (9), you (9), now (8), not (8), like (8), feel (8), get (7), marie (7), conte (7), never (7), week (7), out (7), would (7), year (7), love (7), want (7), can (6), quite (6), long (6), even (6), because (6), once (6), going (6), one (6), then (6), loved (6), more (5), been (5), there (5), also (5), life (5), used (5), sometimes (5), two (5), too (5), they (5), put (5), shower (5), really (5), start (4), 2026 (4), usually (4), degrees (4), outside (4), summer (4), something (4), think (4), three (4), spent (4), anymore (4), times (4), months (4), made (4), their (4), into (4), try (4), off (4), little (4), will (4), sunday (4), liked (4), who (4), great (3), substack (3), jul (3), well (3), share (3), myself (3), thought (3), though (3), forward (3), got (3), point (3), how (3), good (3), thing (3), happened (3), weekend (3), started (3), weather (3), which (3), has (3), hot (3), end (3), very (3), any (3), care (3), first (3), last (3), least (3), around (3), its (3), know (3), down (3), while (3), come (3), bit (3), wake (3), shirt (3), makes (3), don (3), cold (3), lunch (3), again (3), bps (3), sick (3), enjoyed (3), amiss (3), young (3), she (3), cinema (3), javascript (2), home (2), your (2), collection (2), left (2), let (2), having (2), them (2), drinks (2), instead (2), miss (2), realised (2), found (2), than (2), need (2), weeks (2), sure (2), result (2), architecture (2), could (2), resent (2), boyfriend (2), bear (2), deal (2), much (2), didn (2), everything (2), lido (2), pasta (2), salad (2), note (2), special (2), lost (2), days (2), public (2), everyone (2), pole (2), incredibly (2), warm (2), looking (2), smelling (2), fortune (2), those (2), must (2), clean (2), comes (2), somehow (2), before (2), able (2), fit (2), his (2), hate (2), works (2), until (2), heatwave (2), see (2), other (2), skin (2), morning (2), meal (2), eat (2), insane (2), stupid (2), top (2), back (2), fresh (2), live (2), being (2), making (2), felt (2), wait (2), season (2), stop (2), few (2), london (2), taken (2), ill (2), thinking (2), did (2), kind (2), wanted (2), else (2), hope (2), after (2), bottle (2), work (2), sit (2), stand (2), sunscreen (2), only (2), ago (2), piece (2), burnham (2), subscribe (2), her (2), watch (2), film (2), garden (2), stated (2), seriously (2), aug (2), vulgarian (2), site, requires, run, correctly, please, unblock, scripts, turn, culture, app, notice, terms, privacy, loading, posts, notes, towards, cringe, hearts, starve, bodies, goddammit, roll, oct, bring, far, carried, away, humbling, state, affairs, perennial, cloudy, rainy, july, load, bearing, here, are, dig, jackets, closed, shoes, trousers, complain, fact, wear, maybe, indoors, right, middle, precisely, give, look, short, sated, appetite, actually, whole, along, irksome, promise, memory, reality, helpful, lying, horizon, still, visible, rearview, mirror, order, happen, does, occasionally, make, itself, scarce, hasn, meaningfully, suppose, tweak, withstand, term, grown, turning, forced, change, exist, use, kills, writing, 400, words, bitching, complaining, betrayed, stood, tolerance, such, core, part, sense, self, relentlessness, sincerely, isn, wind, clouds, sky, drinking, margaritas, empty, stomach, choose, upon, relish, afternoons, take, doesn, place, april, shine, consistent, british, lose, minds, swim, these, joke, accidentally, walked, annual, raised, wolves, convention, knows, act, visit, studio, twice, otherwise, brain, goes, haywire, quickly, happens, hanging, upside, metal, slide, find, impossible, sport, drives, nuts, cycle, feels, awful, sunny, wants, friend, arrive, rolling, discarded, socks, spend, pods, washing, machine, garment, ever, worn, row, slob, department, clothes, languish, limbo, longer, probably, should, dillying, dallying, dirty, laundry, basket, charge, uniforms, small, regiment, dutifully, night, knockin, neverending, oddly, stifling, sisyphus, tending, chores, god, normally, environment, learn, drive, car, won, bazillion, children, bath, without, feeling, bad, worked, june, acquainted, peaked, each, spending, gel, gets, sticky, buffalo, wing, wash, evening, disgusting, today, obviously, face, cutting, colourful, ingredients, placing, onto, plate, drizzling, olive, oil, sitting, pick, already, million, thick, stir, fries, melted, cheese, grilled, fish, piping, rice, sizzling, meats, greasy, slippery, fried, eggs, cherry, tomato, digging, thirties, began, caring, health, disappear, space, came, call, gendered, rarely, woman, dainty, bits, smoked, salmon, avocado, mozzarella, radishes, soft, boiled, egg, nibble, date, round, stereotypically, feminine, harmless, fun, ritual, lunches, occasion, suitably, big, mayor, mad, town, announcing, officially, begun, especially, september, war, against, wet, darkness, encroachment, enemy, territory, celebrated, temperatures, rose, mid, twenties, above, doing, nearly, showing, weekdays, alone, sun, past, adored, cherished, always, looked, overindulge, none, seeing, him, together, become, monday, couple, wasn, anyway, clear, our, arrangement, job, quit, met, someone, mostly, reverted, friends, fine, alter, ensure, leave, arrived, assumed, way, people, romantically, fully, ends, lived, west, bartending, gig, shoreditch, near, flat, fridays, saturdays, stay, mine, nights, arriving, shifts, wine, handing, chocolate, dubious, housemates, ankles, thighs, where, most, tattoos, wrists, reach, sleeves, idea, soon, dressed, cannot, hypnotic, nauseating, putting, secret, apply, arms, neck, winter, sheen, gave, beach, associate, seaside, four, pairs, shorts, own, were, couch, nearer, front, door, grab, aware, may, expecting, andy, social, media, defence, said, written, over, bluesky, unfortunately, drove, simply, write, regular, service, resume, next, thank, column, published, ten, years, hereby, recommend, bye, show, pieces, shown, meantime, problem, plan, unexpectedly, free, afternoon, ended, walking, wellcome, check, exhibition, audrey, paintings, learnt, promising, art, student, drop, royal, academy, mental, breakdown, proceeded, somewhat, mentally, artist, operating, mainstream, institutions, things, considered, bought, ticket, habla, con, ella, rocked, under, minutes, turned, mistake, takes, undignified, money, grabbing, picturehouses, starts, showings, almodovar, movies, ought, decided, skip, altogether, another, hello, behold, lament, pornstar, common, archive, sign,

Text of the page (random words):
young vulgarian marie le conte substack young vulgarian subscribe sign in home archive about do you know who i am do you marie le conte aug 14 30 6 2 1 more what burnham this pornstar and i have in common marie le conte aug 7 25 7 the great heatwave lament behold i have had a thought marie le conte jul 31 2026 61 1 6 share hello hi i wanted to watch a film last sunday so i bought a ticket to habla con ella at the garden cinema and i rocked up just under 20 minutes after the stated time and that turned out to be a mistake as i found out there and then not every cinema takes undignified money grabbing as seriously as picturehouses and the garden cinema starts its showings at the stated time i think almodovar movies ought to be taken seriously so i decided to skip the film altogether and try to watch it all another time the only problem with that plan is that it left me with an unexpectedly free sunday afternoon so i ended up walking to the wellcome collection to check out their exhibition of audrey amiss paintings the first of its kind amiss i learnt was once a promising young art student who had to drop out of the royal academy because she had a mental breakdown she then proceeded to live her life as a somewhat to very mentally ill artist operating outside of mainstream institutions but all things considered having as good a time as she could have i really enjoyed the show and hope more of her pieces will be shown to the public at some point in the meantime i also loved this long piece published ten years ago on amiss life and work and hereby recommend it to you that is all good bye subscribe a column note i m aware some of you may be expecting a piece on andy burnham and social media as that is in your defence what i said i d written about this week over on bluesky but unfortunately the heat drove me insane the other day and so i simply had to write about that instead regular service will resume next week thank you there s something hypnotic and nauseating about it i used to love putting sunscreen on so much that sometimes as a secret i d apply some on my arms and neck before going out in the winter because i liked the sheen it gave my skin and i liked smelling of summer and the beach when no one else did i used to associate sunscreen with the seaside but now i just wake up every morning and i put on one of the four pairs of shorts i own there were only three a few months ago and i sit down on the couch nearer the front door and i grab the bottle i usually start with my ankles then i work up to the top of my thighs where most of my tattoos sit then i start again with my wrists and i stop once i reach the sleeves of my t shirt somehow thinking about it as i wake up makes me feel a bit sick i hate the idea that soon i m going to have to stand up and get dressed and do that thing again which i once loved and now cannot stand for a long time i assumed i loved the heat in the way i ve loved people romantically fully and with the hope that this thing we have never ends this year in 2026 i realised i loved the heat like i enjoyed the weekend boyfriend i had for a while when i was 18 who lived in west london but got this bartending gig in shoreditch near my flat on fridays and saturdays and who would come stay at mine on those two nights a week arriving after his shifts with a bottle of wine and sometimes handing some chocolate to my dubious housemates i liked looking forward to seeing him and i liked thinking about the times we d just spent together at no point did we feel the need to try and become a monday to sunday kind of couple it wasn t what i wanted anyway and it was clear that he enjoyed our arrangement too one day he lost the job or quit or just met someone else and we mostly reverted back to being friends and it was fine i d never had to alter the architecture of my life to ensure that he would fit in and so he was able to leave as he d arrived i used to think i loved it when the temperatures rose into the mid twenties and even sometimes to 30 and above but now they ve been doing it nearly every day for two months like they re showing off and really i just miss my weekdays spent alone i m sick of the heat i m sick of the sun i want it all to stop i feel like the past few months in london have taken everything i adored and cherished and always looked forward to and they made me overindulge until i felt ill and now i want none of it anymore i used to love the ritual of making cold lunches it felt like an occasion every year i d wait and wait for it to get suitably warm then i d start making my first bps of the season my big pasta salad and it made me feel like the mayor of some mad little town announcing to everyone that summer had officially begun the last bps of the season would be special too especially if it happened in september my life was a war against the cold and the wet and the darkness and any encroachment on enemy territory had to be celebrated as i started digging into my thirties and began caring more about my health the bps didn t quite disappear but was made to share space with what i came to call the gendered lunch because i rarely care about being a woman but when i eat dainty little bits of smoked salmon of avocado of mozzarella of fresh radishes and of a soft boiled egg and i nibble on a date or two to round it all off it really makes me quite quite stereotypically feminine it s harmless and it s fun it s also a meal i can t bear to eat anymore it s going to be 34 degrees outside today and so obviously i m going to have a cold meal for lunch because i m not insane but i just don t know that i can face cutting up some colourful ingredients and placing them all onto a stupid plate and drizzling some stupid olive oil on top of it all then sitting down to pick at it that s not what i want to do at all i ve already had that lunch one million times this year i want to get back to my thick stir fries and i want some melted cheese and some grilled fish i want piping hot rice and sizzling meats and greasy slippery fried eggs i never want to see a fresh little cherry tomato again for as long as i live god i ve even come to hate and resent my shower my shower i never shower normally it s my deal with the environment i ll never learn to drive a car and i won t have a bazillion children but as a result i get to have a bath every day without feeling bad about it i don t really care if it works or not it works for me well it worked for me for a long time until around june this year i m incredibly well acquainted with my shower now sometimes when the heatwave really peaked we d see each other three times a day i ve been spending a fortune on shower gel as my skin now gets as sticky as a buffalo wing if i don t wash in the morning and in the evening at the very least i feel disgusting all the time i ve also come to spend a fortune on those little pods you put in the washing machine because no garment can ever be worn two days in a row in this weather i m usually a bit of a slob in that department and will let clothes languish in limbo for a bit longer than they probably should but the heat has put an end to my dillying and dallying every day i must wake up and put on a clean t shirt and by the end of the day that t shirt will go into my dirty laundry basket and by the time the weekend comes i feel i have somehow been put in charge of the uniforms of a small regiment which i must dutifully clean before sunday night comes a knockin it s neverending it s oddly stifling it makes me feel like sisyphus though at least he was able to get fit while tending to his chores i usually visit the pole studio twice a week as otherwise my brain goes haywire incredibly quickly but do you know what happens when you try hanging upside down off a metal pole while it s 32 degrees outside you slide off that s it i find it impossible to do the sport i love when it s too warm and it drives me nuts i do try and cycle when i can but even that feels awful when it s too sunny no one wants their friend to arrive for drinks looking and smelling like they spent their day rolling around in discarded socks once upon a time i would relish my afternoons spent at the lido like the pasta salad i d take great care to note the first and last time i would go every year but even that doesn t feel special anymore the lido is a place i started going to in april this year and have been going to at least once a week sometimes up to three times a week for around two months it s lost its shine and the consistent heat has made the british lose their minds every time i go for a swim these days i joke to myself that i ve accidentally walked into the annual raised by wolves convention no one knows how to act in public anymore everyone is too hot i didn t use to be though that s what kills me by writing 1 400 words bitching and complaining about the heat i ve betrayed everything i thought i once stood for tolerance for hot weather used to be such a core part of my sense of self and i m just not sure what happened i think the relentlessness of it is what got me in the end i very sincerely love it when it s 28 degrees and there isn t any wind or any clouds in the sky but i also love drinking three margaritas on an empty stomach and that s not something i d choose to do every day i suppose i d also never had to tweak the architecture of my day to day life so it could withstand long term heat i would have grown to resent my weekend boyfriend if he d started turning up every day and i can t quite bear to deal with this weather which has forced me to change so much of how i exist as i ve found out this summer i love the heat as a promise and as a memory more than i love it as a reality i think it s a good and helpful thing for me to have just lying there on the horizon or still just about visible in the rearview mirror but in order for that to happen the heat does need to occasionally make itself scarce that hasn t meaningfully happened in weeks and weeks and i m just not sure what to do with myself as a result it s quite a humbling state of affairs as i never thought that the usually perennial week of cloudy rainy 17 degrees in july was load bearing but here we are i now long to dig out some of my jackets and closed shoes and trousers and complain about the fact that i m having to wear all of them and maybe even have drinks indoors instead of outside even though we re right in the middle of the summer precisely because it would give me something to miss something to look forward to in short 2026 is the year i got sated and realised the appetite had actually been the whole point all along how irksome now roll on oct no i can t quite bring myself to go this far let s not get carried away 61 1 6 share hearts starve as well as bodies goddammit marie le conte jul 24 20 7 3 some notes towards a cringe left marie le conte jul 17 22 5 loading more posts 2026 marie le conte privacy terms collection notice start your substack get the app substack is the home for great culture this site requires javascript to run correctly please turn on javascript or unblock scripts