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description= Silly Stories and Twisted Tales Adapted by Rick Walton;
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Text of the page (random words):
ned to the papa and mama bear and you should be ashamed letting your child leave the house without his breakfast now you two get over here and finish your breakfasts too no complaints now hurry hurry mama and papa bear were so surprised that they sat at the table and began eating yuck said mama papa and baby bear what did you do to our porridge i made it edible said goldilocks but it just needed to cool down said mama bear it was just fine after breakfast goldilocks showed the three bears their new chairs now you be careful and don t rip these cushions the bears sat down you ve ruined our chairs said papa bear if we want comfortable we sit on those pillows in the then he noticed there were no pillows in the corner papa bear began to turn red but before he could eat goldilocks she shoved them upstairs when i came in here these beds looked like they d exploded there ll be no more of that from now on beds will be made as soon as you wake up and they will stay made all day there will be no breakfast until all beds are made to my satisfaction what a waste said baby bear how can we take afternoon naps if our beds have to stay made and there was more goldilocks made the bears pick up their clothes which were scattered around the room then she made them wash the walls all through the house and mop the floors and paint the shutters and rake the leaves she made them do their exercises and drink lots of juice and take their naps though the beds had to stay made from now on things are going to be different around here said goldilocks as she made them lie down then she closed the shutters and went downstairs to rearrange the cupboards in the dark where he couldn t sleep because who could sleep on a made bed papa bear began to fume he thought of the porridge and the chairs and the beds and the floors and walls and shutters and leaves and exercises and juice this was not the way he wanted to live he and his family had been very happy before this this goldilocks had come finally he could take it no longer he jumped out of bed and ran down the stairs mama bear and baby bear were right behind him you he said to goldilocks get out get out right now before i eat you my goodness she said as papa bear picked her up i believe you would i can see that you re beyond help and that my services would be more appreciated elsewhere i doubt it said papa bear as he threw her outside then papa bear mama bear and the little baby bear took the pads off the chairs threw out the sugar and cinnamon and messed up their beds and they lived happily ever after published in uncategorized on june 20 2011 at 2 23 am leave a comment the wee yeah wee man once upon a time yeah when all the big folks were wee folks yeah and it is so long a time since that you could never count the years yeah there lived a wee yeah wee man yeah and he had a huge yeah huge cow yup that s true one morning very early out went the wee yeah wee man to milk his huge yeah huge cow yeah and to her he said hold still yeah my cow yeah my pretty yeah hold still yeah my pretty yeah my cow yeah and you shall have for dinner a cake of milk white dough yup that s true but the huge yeah huge cow would not stand still yup that s true she jumped and she danced and she kicked yeah tipping over the milking stool and spilling all the milk yup that s true so the wee yeah wee man cried out in a loud voice hold still yeah my cow yeah my dearie yeah and fill my bucket with milk yeah and if you are not contrary yeah i ll give you a gown of silk yup that s true but the huge yeah huge cow would not stand still yup that s true now yeah look at that yeah said the wee yeah wee man yup that s true what is a wee yeah wee man to do yeah with such a huge yeah huge cow as you huh what do you think huh huh huh then off he went to his grandmother s house yeah and to his grandmother he said cow will not stand still yup that s true wee yeah wee man cannot milk her yup that s true take a stick and shake it at her yeah said his grandmother yup that s true so off went the wee yeah wee man to the hazel tree for a stick yeah and to the tree he said break yeah stick yeah break yeah and i ll give you a cake yup that s true but the stick would not break yeah and the wee yeah wee man went back to his grandmother s house yeah saying grandmother yeah grandmother yeah stick will not break huge yeah huge cow will not stand still wee yeah wee man cannot milk her yup that s true then go to the butcher and bid him tie the cow yeah said his grandmother yup that s true so off went the wee yeah wee man to the butcher yeah and to the butcher he said butcher yeah tie the huge yeah huge cow yup that s true she is good for naught for she dances now yup that s true but the butcher was just sweeping his shop yeah and he would not tie the cow yeah so the wee yeah wee man went back to his grandmother s house yeah saying grandmother yeah grandmother yeah butcher will not come yup that s true stick will not break yup that s true huge yeah huge cow will not stand still yup that s true wee yeah wee man cannot milk her yup that s true what is wee yeah wee man to do huh what do you think huh huh huh i know not yeah said his grandmother yeah but just then along came a little girl with a cup in her hand yup that s true please give me milk to make a cake yeah said the little girl yeah my mother would bake today yup that s true run yeah said the grandmother to the wee yeah wee man yeah tell the huge yeah huge cow there s a pretty little lady with long yellow hair waiting for a cup of milk yup that s true so the wee yeah wee man ran as fast as his wee yeah wee legs would carry him yeah and he said to the cow you ll not stand for the cake or the gown of silk yup that s true will you give pretty lady a cup of milk huh what do you think huh huh huh moo yeah moo yeah said the huge yeah huge cow in a huge yeah huge voice yeah that i will yup that s true so she stood very still yeah and neither jumped yeah nor danced yeah nor kicked over the milking stool and that is how the wee yeah wee man milked his huge yeah huge cow after all yup that s true published in uncategorized on june 19 2011 at 2 28 am leave a comment the wonderful truck once not long ago there lived a boy and his mother and they were very very poor all they owned was one magic cow and they had nothing to eat you must sell the magic cow the mother said to the boy so the boy took the cow s halter and started down the road to sell her on they way he met a stranger who was driving a rickety truck is that a magic cow asked the stranger yes it is said the boy i thought so said the stranger what is its magic does it know the future does it find treasures does it run as fast as the wind i don t know said the boy we never found out would you give me your magic cow if i give you this wonderful truck asked the stranger no said the boy but then he heard a whisper it came from the truck take me said the rickety truck the boy thought what use is a magic cow if you don t know its magic and who knows what good a talking truck could bring he gave the magic cow to the strange and drove the truck home and parked it behind the cow s stall ah me what a bad bargain you have made son said the mother when she saw no money only a rickety truck a truck no one would want and no food to eat but the truck whispered to the mother turn my key turn my key the mother reached into the truck and turned the key vrooom roared the truck and off it raced then vrooom back it came look in my back whispered the truck the boy and the mother did inside the truck were cases of spaghetti and crates of canned peaches there were boxes of saltine crackers and barrels of salted fish there was enough food to last several years for a poor mother and son who were used to eating very little they ate very well that night the next morning though after they had finished unloading the truck the boy and the mother realized there was nothing to do i m bored said the boy but the truck whispered to the boy turn my key turn my key the boy reached into the truck and turned the key vrooom roared the truck and off it raced then vrooom back it came look in my back whispered the truck the boy and the mother did inside the truck were clowns and acrobats sword swallowers and magicians there was an entire circus for hours the clowns danced the acrobats swung the sword swallowers swallowed and the magicians tricked the boy and the mother had never had so much fun but that afternoon when the circus performers asked for a place to rest the mother said our home is so small there is just no room for guests the truck whispered to the mother turn my key turn my key the mother reached into the truck and turned the key vrooom roared the truck and off it raced then vrooom back it came look in my back whispered the truck the boy and the mother did inside the truck were boards and bricks and mortar and nails and on top of it all sat six strong builders the builders climbed from the truck and with the help of the circus performers they emptied the building materials from the truck and by nightfall there were twelve new small houses for the circus performers and the builders and one new large house for the mother and the son but there are no beds said the boy will we all have to sleep on the floor turn my key whispered the truck the boy did vrooom roared the truck and off it raced then vrooom back it came look in my back whispered the truck inside the truck were beds and dressers and tables and chairs there was enough furniture to fill all twelve small houses and the one large house and that night the mother and son and the performers and builders slept comfortably the next morning very early there was a knock at the door the boy answered there stood a policeman we have a report that you have stolen property here said the policeman who says said the boy the policeman moved aside behind him were a grocer a ringmaster a construction boss and a hotel owner they all looked very angry where s my food said the grocer i was going to have a big sale and my food is gone where s my circus said the ringmaster we had a big show planned for today where are my supplies and my workers said the construction boss i have a deadline to meet where s my furniture said the hotel owner my guests had to sleep on the floor last night and where are they to put their clothes you re under arrest for robbery said the policeman no wait said the boy it wasn t me and he ran past his visitors who followed him to the cow stall where the truck was parked it s the truck said the boy it took your things we didn t know they were stolen honest sure said the policeman as he pulled out his handcuffs he s right whispered the truck what said the policeman he s right i took your things now why did you have to go and do that then the policeman turned to the grocer can i arrest a truck he asked i don t know said the grocer you re the policeman i didn t mean to cause any trouble said the truck i was just trying to help this boy and his mother but stealing is wrong said the ringmaster i didn t know that said the truck nobody teaches a truck what s right and what s wrong he does have a point said the hotel owner is there something i can do to make things better said the truck yes there is said the grocer the ringmaster the construction boss and the hotel owner all day the rickety truck was very busy it took all the food back to the store then helped the grocer advertise his big sale it took the circus back to the tent and carried children from the town to the circus and back it carried the builders and the dismantled houses back to the construction site then it helped large dump trucks haul away the piles of dirt that had been taken from the hole that would be the building s basement and it took the furniture back to the hotel and took hotel guests to and from the airport then it drove back to the boy and his mother who now had nothing but a rickety truck but we re still hungry said the mother not for long said the boy and they drove the truck to the city where people paid well to see a truck that could talk published in uncategorized on june 18 2011 at 2 23 am leave a comment the unfortunate adventures of jack b nimble jack b nimble jack be quick jack jumps over the candlestick jack be lazy should have jumped higher jack s new breeches catch on fire jack is running starts to yell up the hill and into the well he hits the water the fire dies then jack climbs out at least he tries the water is cold and very deep the rocks are wet and very steep help me jack begins to shout my pants are cool but i can t get out up the hill to fetch some water comes dame dob and her naughty daughter ooh what s this dame dob exclaims someone s playing silly games it s not a game run to town for help says jack before i drown oh dear oh danger dame dob yells sound the sirens ring the bells there are drowning children in our wells down to town in despair she dashes here and races there oh weep she screams there is no joy come and save a drowning boy meanwhile back up on the hill the naughty daughter her name was jill simply lets the bucket down and yells climb in and you won t drown jill is strong she exercises up and up the bucket rises out she pulls it from the hole turns it over and lets it roll down the hill the bucket speeds bouncing on rocks and smashing weeds and growing dizzy and blurry eyed poor little jack is still inside but do not worry do not fear help is coming jackie dear for old dame dob has gathered the troops and organized them into groups some with ropes some with ladders some with lunch on silver platters up the hill they come from town up the hill as jack rolls down and as they re cheered on by dame dob the bucket bowls into the mob into the air go lunches and ladders and ropes tangle tight as the frightened mob scatters down goes one down go two down they fall as the bucket rolls through down go three down go four they try to flee but down go more down the hill into the sky the people are tossed as the bucket rolls by and when the bucket reaches the bottom the people still lie where the bucket got em people lie in the oddest places wiping sandwiches off their faces hear their moans hear their groans as they check for broken bones hear their cries hear their pleas as they rub their wounded knees the bucket is still jack falls out he tries to stand but he spins about he hollers weakly dob come here she does he whispers in her ear her ear turns red she starts to steam jill come here she begins to scream down the hill skips dame dob s daughter yes mother dear shall i fetch the water you ll fetch nothing daughter dear because you re grounded for a year as dob stomps off dragging jill the people stumble down the hill carrying their broken ladders their twisted ropes their dented platters to their homes they stagger and groan finally leaving jack alone so up he gets he s no longer dizzy it s time he says for me to get busy i ve plenty...
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